The Bitter Twist of Dark 3

I was aware of floating and the taste of bacta. I faded in and out of consciousness, in and out of pain and in between I dreamed but I could not remember what the dreams were about. When I surfaced and became aware of where I was I panicked. I had never been submersed in bacta before and even with the face mask and oxygen I felt as though I were drowning. The fluid was thick and viscous. It had a terrible taste and it was everywhere, even in my ears. I flailed and fought against the harness, banging legs, knees, arms, elbows, hands against the sides of the tank, until someone sedated me.

When the bacta had done its job I was taken from the tank and moved to a bed. I slept a lot. Everything hurt. It hurt to breathe, to move, to cough. Every motion brought with it its own variant of agony. I was grateful for the drugs they pumped me with that kept me in a twilight of semi consciousness. I had no idea where I was or what day it was and I didn’t care. Slowly the world which had fragmented about me began to piece itself back together again.

They knew I was on the mend when I began insisting that I be allowed to shower and get rid of the last of the sickly bacta stench that seemed to permeate everything. Moving still hurt and I was not that steady on my feet. After an hour they all decided that the only way to shut me up was to either sedate me or let me shower. I was grateful they decided on the latter.

I just stood under the hot water, leaning against the wall while one of the med-tech droids helped me scrub at my skin. Even though the droid was surprisingly gentle, it still hurt to be touched. I looked at the bruises on my body in awe; they were works of art in vibrant colours of purples, blues and greens. When I came back to bed, the IV line still miraculously in my arm, the sheets had been changed and a doctor brandished a powerful sedative my way. I didn’t argue, sleep was a welcome escape from the lingering pain and the fragmented memory of what had put me in this unnamed medical lab in the first place.

When I woke again, I had no idea how much time had passed but it was early dawn. My mouth was dry and my throat hurt. I could not recall the last time I had had anything to drink. I glanced at my hand, the IV line was gone and a bruise was the only tell tale sign of where the needle had been. I came back into the world slowly and only after a bit did I realize I was not alone in the room. I turned my head to look beside the bed. He was lounging in the uncomfortable chair, with his long legs stretched out in front of him, one leg crossed over the other, his arms folded across his chest. He was still in uniform but he had removed the jacket. His eyes were closed but he wasn’t asleep. I moved and that brought him back to the world. He opened his eyes and turned to look at me.

“Welcome back to the land of the living.” Thrawn said. He got up and filled a glass of water from the jug on the nearby table. He placed a hand at my back, helping me as I sat up. I took the cup he offered, sipping the water slowly.

“Why is it, Miss Gabriel, that I seem to spend so much time watching you recover from grievous bodily harm in a hospital bed?” he asked setting back down in the chair that was right beside the bed. I searched for anger in his voice but there was none. He just sounded weary.

“You have lousy timing?” I asked.

He just shook his head slightly. He did not appreciate the joke. “You appear to attract trouble and brutality the way light attracts moths and ships attract mynocks.”

I handed him back the empty cup, which he set on the table. “It’s not what you think.” I told him. “Lord Vader didn’t do this.”

He arched an eyebrow. “I am well aware of that.” He said tartly.

I lay back down with a sigh. I wasn’t in the mood to fence words with him. “When did you get back?”

“Very late last night or very early this morning, depending on your point of view.”

“Where is here?” I asked realizing I had no idea where I actually was and had never bothered to ask.

“One of the smaller medical facilities in the Palace.” He replied.

“I have no idea how I got to this place.” I said.

“No, I do not imagine you would.” he said. “You were in particularly bad shape.”

My fingers touched the ribs that had been broken, they were still tender and my shoulder ached. “Still hurts.”

He nodded. “Bacta is a medical wonder but some things still require time and rest to heal, especially broken bones. How do you feel?”

I pursed my lips. How did I feel? I was not quite certain how to answer that. “I killed someone.” I said. “I don’t know how I feel yet.” If I closed my eyes I could still hear that sickening crack in my mind as my foot connected with Riori’s head.

Thrawn leaned forward in the chair and studied my face carefully. “As I heard it,” he said evenly. “You walked away from the chance to end the boy’s life and it was he who gave you no choice. You showed incredible restraint and mercy. He forced your hand. You took his life out of self defence and not out of blood lust.”

I sighed. I wasn’t up for debating this. “How do you know what happened?”

“I had the honour of meeting Taisto Kjestyll when I arrived here.” He said.

“How is he?”

“Concerned for his student, relieved that you will live and angry at the situation which took place.” He told me simply.

“It wasn’t his fault.” I said. “No one could have seen this coming.” I sighed.

“Perhaps….” He said cryptically.

This was not how I had envisioned seeing him again, not how I had imagined welcoming him back. Instead of wearing something pretty, making cheerful banter and being happy, I was laid up in a hospital bed, I looked like hell and I felt tainted some how, ashamed but not for any reason I could put my finger on. I had touched a darkness inside of me and what scared me more was I had liked it. Part of me wanted to tell Thrawn to go away and leave me alone. I sighed and closed my eyes.

“The doctor informed me that you might be able to leave at the end of the week.” He said after a moment’s pause. He was making small talk and slowly I realised that he was at a loss for words. He didn’t have to be here, he could have just returned from space to his Coruscant apartment but instead he had come straight here and was sitting by my bed in an uncomfortable chair waiting for me to open my eyes. This realization made my heart ache. I looked up into his face and found him staring at me intently. For the first time since I had woken, I met his gaze.

“It’s good to see you again. I’m glad you are back.” I said and I meant it. “How did you know I was here?”

“Word gets around.” He said vaguely. “You’ve managed to become the topic for gossip in certain Imperial circles.”

I laughed a little and then regretted it. It hurt to laugh, it hurt to move. “I don’t remember much of what happened after the fight ended. Riori came after me, even though I had backed down. He won and he still came after me.” I shook my head.

“He didn’t want to win, from what I heard, he just wanted vengeance.”

“It’s all a bit of a blur” I said.

“Not surprising with the injuries you sustained. You have a bad habit of giving people who care for you something to worry about.” He said.

“I’m sorry, that’s not really my intention.” I spoke softly. “I hadn’t planned on any of this.” I felt tears building up in my eyes.

“No, I don’t suppose you did, sj’iu tekari.” He smiled a little and reached over to caress my cheek with the backs of his fingers and then absently moved a stray lock of hair from my face. True to form my eyes started to leak, just a little. “You can be such a distraction.” He told me quietly, with a subtle shake of his head. He stroked away the escaping tears with his fingertips.

“Is that good or bad?” I asked, falling into a familiar pattern of it. His hand was warm on my skin and his touch reminded me of goodness, of kindness and other things I had forgotten about. I reached up and brushed his fingers with my hand and he took it gently in his own.

“I’ll let you know, when you are fit enough to handle the stress.” He said with a slight smile.

I nodded and closed my eyes. I was still so tired. He sat back, withdrawing his hand from mine. I heard him settle back into the chair and draw a deep, thoughtful breath. If there was more conversation I didn’t hear it because sleep got the better of me. When I woke up he was gone with no sign that he had ever been there at all. I wondered if I had dreamed the whole thing. I didn’t feel any better, I just felt empty.

When they finally let me out of the small clinic that was tucked away in the confines of the palace to go back home I was almost jumping for joy. There was nothing I hated more than being cooped up in a med lab facility. The smell of bacta permeated everything, not to mention the cleaning solutions and the medical droids. Even though the small palace facility had been quiet and I had been given a little private room all to myself it was still not the greatest place in the galaxy to be.

Despite my very loud protests I had been taken back to my flat in a repulser chair, and two of the med-tech aides had come along to carry all the flowers and holo cards that I had been sent during my recovery. I was grateful when everyone left the flat and me alone. It felt odd to be back but I was glad of peace and quiet.

The bacta had done its job healing the worst of the broken bones and internal injuries. The bruising had mostly faded to a sickly purple-yellow colour and I winced just looking at it. My ribs were still tender and my left arm and shoulder were immobilized by a contraption that I was convinced had been invented for torture. I was under doctor’s orders to rest for at least two weeks and despite my desire to get back to a normal life I was grateful. I had damaged the bone around my left shoulder socket when I had popped the arm back in place. Chipped and cracked, the doctor had said giving me a disapproving look. Torn the ligaments as well, so it hurt, a lot. The doctor had prescribed pain killers but I didn’t take them unless I could not bear the pain. They made me stupid, dopey and slow witted.

I was supposed to rest and stay quiet but that didn’t mean that everyone else had to and on my third day home Shiv dropped by with a bunch of bad holo films and take out food. He had been horrified to learn what had happened and was even more annoyed that visitors had not been allowed into the medical facility to see me. It had been a nice evening of the best food I had tasted since before the fight and probably the worst but funniest holos I had seen in a while. Laughing had hurt but it had been worth it.

The day after Shiv’s visit I was surprised when Makki who dropped by later on. He stood sheepishly at my doorstep holding a bouquet of flowers and a holo-card everyone had signed. I invited him in and at first the conversation was awkward, stilted until he burst out with,

“You fight like a crazy person, do you know that?”

That had made me laugh which had hurt my ribs which had made us both laugh more. He had stayed for tea and once the awkwardness had passed he proceeded to tell me all about the fight I had been a part of as though he were describing a holo vid to me. It was strange and surreal but also interesting.

“I guess all that training with Lord Vader paid off, huh?” he asked.

I shrugged with my good shoulder. “Maybe. I wish it had never happened though.”

“Never killed anyone before, huh?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No, why have you?”

He nodded. “Yeah, shortly after my graduation from the Academy, I did a rotation in riot control. Out on one of the mid rim planets, things got out of hand and it got bad. Three of the guys in my platoon were killed and I don’t know how many of the rioters were taken out but I know some of them I killed.” He shrugged. “It’s not the same thing as hand to hand, I guess, but it sure didn’t feel great.”

“Killing is killing.” I told him. He had just nodded. We drank our tea in silence for a few moments before he brushed that mournful topic aside and began to chatter about other things.

I was surprised at the number of get well cards and flowers that were delivered. Even Cati sent a little note but the one person I wanted to hear from was non existent. I was becoming more and more convinced that Thrawn’s visit in the hospital was nothing more than a fever dream I conjured myself. I missed him terribly.

One week after I had come back home, early in the evening, my doorbell rang. My heart took a little leap because I figured it was probably Thrawn and half expected to see a glass or something equally obscure sitting on the door mat, instead when I opened the door I stared into the eyes of my master.

“I hope that I am not disturbing you, ke’ashj Merlyn.” He said. He held a large flat box in his arms.

“Of course not.” I stepped aside and invited him into my flat, closing the door after him.

“May I offer you some tea, master Kjestyll?”

“That would be most welcome.” He said.

“Please sit down anywhere you can find space, I’m sorry it’s a bit of a mess.” I said as I went to boil water.

I had never known anyone who could sit as till as my master and when I brought in the tray of tea things it was almost as though he were made from stone. He watched as I poured his cup first and waited until I had poured mine, then accepted the cup I held out to him. The fragrance of mint filled the air and I waited until my guest had sipped his tea first before sipping my own.

“Tatooine mint tea.” He said with a smile. “It has been a long time since I have tasted this. It brings back good memories.”

“My father sends it to me.” I said. “I’d miss it.”

Master Kjestyll nodded. “Things which remind us of home are precious.” He said. “I expect you are curious at my reason for disturbing your rest.”

“Your visit is not a disturbance but I am curious.” I answered. He smiled.

He drew a deep breath. “I have come for several reasons. The first is I wished to see with my own eyes that you are recovering.”

“I am, thank you, although slower than I’d like.” I admitted.

He nodded. “You have a strong will to live, but the body needs time.” He said. “Secondly, I came because I wished to apologise for what happened….”

I went to protest that it wasn’t his fault but he held up his hand. “Please allow me to finish.”

I nodded and waited.

“The Rite of Tet’zais-tjiumei is an ancient tradition of the Bunduki arts that was brought about as a way to settle conflict between two parties when there were no more options for resolutions left. It was created during a time of great unrest and violence and written in the Palawa Laws as a last resort method of conflict. The Rite of Tet’ is hundreds of years old and for the longest time had passed into memory and history, unused and almost forgotten. It was rarely used because of the dire consequences and results. In my life time I had only seen it called once, until now.”

I sighed.

“It was strange that these students knew of the Rite of Tet’. It is never spoken of and never taught. For decades now it has been thought lost. Perhaps that was our failing as Masters; we did not think to remember that such a thing existed. We have better ways of solving disputes than death matches.” He sipped his tea. “You should be made aware that after this incident, the council of masters has agreed to remove the Rite of Tet’zais-tjiumei from the Bunduki laws. Its use will be forbidden. It is unfortunate that it took this event to push us into an action we should have taken years ago, but sometimes we are slow to undo tradition and like to believe that sleeping dogs will stay asleep.”

He set his empty cup down and nodded when I offered to pour a second cup. After a moment of silence he continued.

“I and the masters who were at the trials have questioned Kiol Griff about his actions and we learned that it was more or less his older brother’s idea. Riori had planned the whole event, including bribing the person responsible for pairing the students together so that Kiol would be paired with you.”

“Why?” I asked, interrupting.

Master Kjestyll drew a deep steady breath. “Kiol told us that his family blamed Lord Vader for the death of his father, you know this already. They were furious and devastated, as you can well imagine, at the loss of their father and they had petitioned the Emperor to punish Lord Vader for his part in the tragedy.”

I opened my mouth to protest but Master Kjestyll cut me off. “I am aware of the situation that occurred and where the blame actually lies is of no interest to me.” He said. “The end result is the same; the Griff sons wished for retribution and after going through all the appropriate channels decided to follow a more unusual route. They learned from the Emperor, who had paid the family a visit after the memorial service, of the Bunduki trials and that you would be attending. I am unsure exactly how talk on the subject came about but given that the boys have been studying the Bunduki arts since they were very young, I think we can assume it was simply part of the conversation. The Emperor likes to be kept well informed about everything and if he took time out of his busy schedule to pay his respects to the family he would have known all there was to know about them. I can only surmise that it was after they learned who you were and that you would also be at the trials that they went about formulating their plan.”

My mind reeled. The Emperor. Why was it that when ever I seemed to end up on the wrong side of someone’s stick, his name was almost always attached to it somehow?

“Kiol told us that Riori had researched you, asked questions to students who had contacts in the Palpatine School. He was convinced that you were a lesser opponent. In many respects he was right, you began your training very late, and your skills in certain areas is less refined than perhaps it could be but he was gravely mistaken to think that you would be easy to kill. They did not anticipate your skill with a combat staff, or that you would even choose such a weapon. They, of course did not know you are also a force user and they had no way of knowing that you are often tested and tried under the hand of Lord Vader. ”

He paused and sipped at the tea. “The boys hoped for revenge, they had hoped to hurt Lord Vader by killing you, instead they compounded their family’s tragedy. Kiol has been removed from the Corellian school for his part in this incident. He will no longer be taught the Bunduki arts by a recognized trainer or master. It is he who is to be shunned. The youngest of Griff’s sons had no active part in this so he will be allowed to continue his training but that will be difficult I fear. He must live with the shame his brothers have brought down upon their family, and I do not think he will remain at the school long.” He paused. “Kiol was at a loss to understand why you walked away from ending the fight the way if should have been ended, he did not understand why you did not kill his brother when you first had the chance.”

I looked at my Master. “I did not want to kill him.”

He nodded. “I watched your face. I watched you struggle. You fought not only Riori but also yourself. Your powers grow but so too does the conflict within you.”

I shook my head. “Why did he not accept that he had won?” I asked after a while.

“Because by walking away, by letting him live it was not he who had won the fight but you. Riori had built you up to be an extension of Lord Vader in his mind and when you proved him wrong he could not bear it.”

I felt tears well up in my eyes and I fought them. “Stupid waste of life.” I spat angrily.

He agreed with a nod. “You fought well, child. I was proud of you and the choices you made, which brings me to the third reason I came here. Three days ago, the masters and I had a conference and they have informed me that they wish to award you this.” He handed me the flat box to open. “I am in agreement with them.” He said.

I took the box from his hands and unwrapped the elegant paper, opening it to find a green coloured kej-ji’doh. I lifted it out of the box in awe.

“You fought with much honour and with skill far beyond your given level. I know that you held back on applying the lessons Lord Vader has been sharing with you as well as using your unique gifts. You are a good student, ke’ashj Merlyn. You deserve this.”

I looked at the kej-ji’doh in awe. This meant I was being stepped upto level seven. I had not heard of this sort of thing ever happening before and was a little overwhelmed by it. “Thank you.” I said after a few moments.

“There is something you wish to ask?” he asked watching my face.

I nodded. “I wanted to know if it would be possible to perhaps train with the other students from time to time. I had no idea what I was missing by being trained alone.”

He grinned. “It is already something that is being arranged. I have spoken of this with the Emperor and Lord Vader.”

“Does the Emperor know what happened at the trials?” I asked.

“I do not believe that there is much the Emperor does not know, child. I suspect that Lord Vader informed him of what have taken place after his visit to you in the medical facility.”

I looked at Master Kjestyll in surprise. “Lord Vader came to the hospital?”

He nodded. “He arrived back from space the morning after the trials. He contacted the school, I presume to see how well you performed. He was told by master Fessi where you were and informed about what had taken place. He was not pleased.”

“He’s never pleased.” I said with a sigh.

“He ordered you to be moved from the med-lab where you had been taken for emergency treatment. It was his personal medical facility you were transferred to. You were given the best care possible; probably it saved your life. There was a lot of internal damage and you did not do yourself any favours when you so violently relocated your shoulder. I am told you damaged the socket bone badly. There was some serious reconstruction work required. We will be doing much in the way of rehabilitation work before we can resume your training. I am quite sure that shoulder hurts far more than you are willing to admit.”

I looked at my arm in the tight sling to keep it and my shoulder joint from moving at all. He was right, it did. It hurt with a ferocity that was almost unbearable at times. The pain medication worked when I actually took but I was scared to take more. In the back of my head I was afraid that if Jyrki came back I would be too stupid to do anything about it.

“I am told you will have to rest at least another week, perhaps two and that your next check up is in two days time.” He said. “So, we will meet the week after next for breathing and relaxation techniques. Now that, for the time being, you are not so mobile I think it is the perfect opportunity for you to learn stillness. After that brace comes off, we can start to build up strength in your arm once more.”

I made a face. The regular check up and prodding schedule that had been set up by the doctor who had over seen my recovery rankled on my nerves. It had meant that I would be spending a lot more time than I liked being examined and poked at by medical droids and the doctor. He had let me return to my own flat reluctantly on the insistence that I adhere to a strict regime of rest. If something were to happen to my recovery it would be his hide not mine he had told me crossly. I had not been the best of patients. It hadn’t occurred to ask what he had meant but now I had a better idea. I could not imagine for a moment that being Lord Vader’s personal medical team was a happy job, although the gruff doctor seemed quite capable of taking what ever got tossed his way. He was a very no nonsense sort of man. He reminded me a great deal of Doctor Thracer, the one who had saved my life on board the Vengeance. I had been glad to hear from Thrawn that the doctor had survived the ship’s destruction but Thrawn had been very uninformative on what Doctor Thracer was doing now. I hadn’t pushed the issue. I was just glad the man was alive.

I poured more tea and then sat back in the chair, running my hand through my hair which I had not bothered to put up. Using Zenji sticks required two hands. It was all I could do at the moment to keep it clean and brushed out. Even so it was long and tangled easily.

“How have you been coping with what happened?” Master Kjestyll asked breaking me out of my thoughts.

“I haven’t.” I told him. “I try not to think about it to be honest. I tell myself that it was unavoidable and not my fault, but somehow those lies don’t really work.”

“Yet those simple facts are the truth.” He said gently.

I nodded. “I don’t know what to think or how to begin to sort out how I feel. Perhaps if this had happened two years, I would be more of a mess, but now I am just sort of numb and sad that it happened at all. I am also glad to be alive, but I feel as though it was a trade off, a piece of my soul for the right to still breathe and I don’t know what to think about that. I don’t remember much about the actual killing and I think that’s a blessing, surprisingly enough I don’t even dream about it. I still have nightmares about being held captive by Jyrki, but not about killing Riori, it doesn’t make sense.”

Master Kjestyll watched me carefully. “That is not such a surprise,” he said. “You knew Jyrki Andando; you did not know the sons of Admiral Griff. Theirs was not a betrayal of your heart, his was.”

“Perhaps.” I said. “Or perhaps part of me just doesn’t care much any more.”

He looked at me for a long time then said. “I do not believe that is the case.”

I sighed. “I thought I would feel more some how, worse, but mostly I feel nothing.”

He nodded. “Give it time.”

I stifled a yawn. I was surprisingly tired.

Master Kjestyll smiled and got up. “You must rest and I have stayed too long already. I will be in touch. We will have much work to do.” He said pointing at my aching shoulder. Then, looking at the new Khaji-dho which I held on my lap, he said. “Wear that with pride. You earned it, it was not a gift.”

I saw him to the door and nodded at his words. “Thank you for coming, master.” I said.

He looked at me for a moment.“If you should need me, contact me.” He said.

I nodded.

“And thank you for the tea, it was very good.” He added and he bowed.

I returned his bow and watched as he left my flat. I cleared up the tea things and went back into the living room. I found myself staring out of the window at the Jedi temple in the distance. So many unanswered questions rattled about in my head and now there was that niggling sensation of something else. I sighed loudly as I thought about the Emperor visiting the Griff family and then suddenly the whole series of events at the Bunduki trials. While nothing supported any evidence that he was behind it, I knew in my heart that somehow he had set the wheels in motion. Perhaps planted the idea in Riori’s mind, mentioned how things used to be done. It would have been nothing big or obvious, just enough of a hint here and the right word there. The question was why? Did he want me dead? Or did he want something else? Or was he, as Lord Vader had once said, just testing me and if so why?? What ever the reason it gnawed at me and for the first time since the fight I felt that nasty little worm of anger wriggle in my gut.

The Bitter twist of dark 2

I walked out into the hall and was assaulted by the utter silence. I felt the anxiety as well as the excitement thick in the air. I took a very deep slow breath and looked at my master who stood at my side. I didn’t show it but I was scared but that was not the only emotion I felt, I was also angry.

I took my place in the center of the combat area across from Riori and concentrated on my breathing as Master Anadiav handed us each a combat staff. They were beautiful weapons, carved from dark, heavy hard wood. I tested the weight of mine and studied it carefully, then shook my head. He accepted it back and handed me another one. This time I nodded after, once again inspecting it carefully. There actually wasn’t much of a difference between the two but I knew that doing that would put Riori on edge. I could tell that while he was very good in the art of pure Teräs Käsi, he wasn’t so comfortable with a staff in his hand. I was pretty sure he had studied sword art instead. Most students were exposed at some point in the training to all the possible weapons forms but few choose to follow any, especially the archaic ones. I owed my love of this form to Jyrki. He had wielded a combat staff with such ease and grace that it was almost dance like. The sudden image of Jyrki as he had been when I had known him on Tatooine made me sad. I swallowed that emotion down. I needed to think clearly not get caught up in self pity and maudlin memories. I didn’t play with the staff I just stood waiting calmly for the signal.

“The rules are simple. No other weapons. You can discard the ones you have and fight hand to hand only, if you wish.” Master Oskarii said. “This fight is to the death, unless either of you wish to forfeit the match and suffer the consequences only one of you will leave this hall alive. There are no other rules. Do you understand?”

We both said we did.

Riori glanced at his younger brother who nodded. I could feel their anger, sense their hatred but it was unfocused. I looked only at my opponent. He was muscular and well proportioned. He played with the combat staff, testing it, learning its balance. A weaponless fight would have suited him better. I drew a deep steadying breath. Focus only on the moment at hand; let nothing distract you from the goal. Master Kjestyll had said.

Master Anadiav gave the start command and both Riori and I saluted the other with the traditional hand gesture and bow, even here in this arena, some sort of honour was being observed.

We circled around each other, staves held with both hands, defensively. I watched his eyes; he was waiting for me to swing so that he could judge my skill. I twitched the staff in my hands a little making his shift to defend and then swung out at him in the opposite direction.
He had to move quickly, awkwardly to block me and the loud crack of wood on wood was like thunder in the silent hall. The first attack made, the first block completed. We circled again this time more aware of the other’s gait and stance. He grinned at me.

I moved again, spinning on the spot, swinging my staff around letting it slide through my hand so that as it swung I lengthened the end that would strike him, sweeping low. He did not anticipate this move and the staff caught him on the arm, but he stepped backwards enough that the blow landed softer than I had hoped. I ducked as he swung, and felt the air part as his staff swept over my head. He had put a lot of power behind that blow. There was no sudden stop so his follow through recovery gave me time to get a better grip on my own weapon and ready my stance. I swept low, dropping to a crouch and caught him on the shin knocking him down. He rolled and recovered swiftly, as we had been taught. Use the momentum of the fall to pull you back up.

We moved back and forth, wood smashed against wood and our eyes never left each other. Sweat beaded down my back. I could see it glisten on his face, running in rivulets down the sides of his jaw. We were too well conditioned to be tired, but my muscles were starting to tell me they wanted a rest. From the way he kept flexing his fingers I knew that holding the staff was starting to wear on him, He gripped it too hard, white knuckles showed the strain.
We circled. He grinned. I kept my face emotionless but anger coiled in my belly. I could feel it reaching upwards, testing me, and teasing me. It wanted to be set free.

Let me loose, it whispered, let me loose and let me kill…

I gritted my teeth, shutting the seductive voice in my head out. If I gave into that I might not lose the match but I would lose my soul. Some of this must have shown on my face, Riori snickered and grinned at me, taunting me. I swung at him hard. He was expecting such a move and he countered. The sound of the Kanaka wood smashing together ricocheted around the silent hall. He swung around and used the staff to counter my next move but he was second too slow and I caught the side of his leg with a glancing blow. So far we were just testing each other. Our moves were guarded and mindful but it was getting tedious. If he hoped to tire me he was failing, instead he was touching that anger I wanted to keep locked away.

Let me go, let me go … it sang to me.

For a single moment I thought I heard Jyrki’s voice in my head and my concentration was, for a second, broken and as he sensed this he came at me in a sudden flurry of motion. I was instantly on the defensive, he was very powerful but as Master Kjestyll had often drilled into my head strength could be turned against its user and I dropped into crouching panthac position and swung at his shins. I connected and he went down but recovered faster than I had hoped to swing about and once again I was on the defensive. I don’t know how long we went on like this for, it was probably a lot shorter than it seemed and we were both now sporting what would be some pretty impressive bruises under our clothes. He had good power behind his blows, then again so did I; we just came to it from different places. I twisted from the hips, and he used his upper body strength. I knew that he would tire if he kept that up but it was a common mistake with people not used to swinging a big stick.

I annoyed him when I caught him with a surprise move, one I had learned from Lord Vader and hit him on the back of his thigh. It hurt him and I could see he would now have to favour that leg. But his ire made him fast and I wondered if he was not just the smallest bit Force sensitive and just did not know it.

Anger snaked upwards, it curled its fingers about my belly and I had to swallow to fight it back. It was seductive, and I could feel the power it would give me. Join with me, let me make you strong… it was like a lover’s touch, that ache of lust. I reached down and caressed it just a little. I felt a renewed strength, half hidden, flood through my limbs and I smiled.

Again we circled. Unlike me, he used his darker emotion easily. It came off him in waves; it made him stronger, impervious to the pain that he must now have felt. He swung at me hard and fast. The terrible sounds of wood against wood, wood against flesh filled the hall. I countered and fought back. I should have been in pain but I didn’t feel it.

The anger in my belly became a fire in my heart. Yes, yes it sang to me as I tapped into it, just a little, just enough. Momentum helped me shift against gravity as I flipped about and almost caught him on the side of the head with the end of my staff. He saved at the last minute but it cost him, a muscle wrenched trying to absorb the blow. He winced, and then he got angrier.
He came at me furious and with a move I would have considered dirty, had this been a normal bout and managed to catch me left shoulder, thrusting with the end of the staff. I heard the pop before I actually felt it as he dislocated my shoulder. Pain flared and I gasped with it but had no time to consider what to do about it because he smelled blood and came in for the kill.

I am here, part of you, pain is fleeting anger is strength….

My arm hung wrong and the pain coursed up and down it was exquisite. I gulped air and swallowed the agony down.

I heard master Kjestyll’s voice in my mind. “Pain was a moment, get beyond it.”

Fury wormed its way upwards. It warmed in my gut. This time I didn’t push it away and the joy that coursed through me outweighed the pain.

Yes…yes…

I could fight with one arm if I had to. Sparring with Lord Vader had taught me that. It was a technique I had learned through necessity. I swallowed the misery that wanted to break past my fury, adrenalin made that easier to do and I touched the anger that desperately wanted to break free. It coursed through blood and it gave me strength. While I could fight with one arm not working right, it would be easier if it wasn’t hanging like a limp flag. If he caught it with a blow again he could tear it from my body or at least do permanent damage. I caught my breath and in a move that surprised him and everyone else, I threw myself at the floor, praying I got the angle right. My shoulder found its way back into the socket messily, noisily. I cried out in pain and rolled over on to my knees then staggered to my feet. I wasn’t sure why he had not attacked me in that moment. Perhaps sheer surprise at what I was doing rendered him momentarily stunned. I would never know. When I turned to face him he was smiling openly. I gave him a tight smile back and focused on breathing which was very hard to do.

I could no longer control how I felt. It was choose between pain or anger and anger won. It turned into a wild fury. I laughed as I let it flow through my limbs, flow through me. I opened up to the universe. The force and my rage collided and began to dance.

He was expecting me to be an easy target because he was higher in the levels than I was and I was now seriously hurt but I had some advantages he didn’t know about. I moved slower now more carefully, he could use my pain as a weapon against me and I wanted to avoid that. I watched as he flipped in a spin to whirl around and went to hit me on the head. I had to brace my staff with my body as I dropped into one kneel. The staff took the blow not my head but in crouching on one knee I lost the advantage and when he swung again I wasn’t ready. The staff smashing into my right side and broke not only the rib that his brother had cracked earlier on, but two others as well. I think I screamed.

For a moment we eyed each other and he grinned. He was certain he had won, certain I would lose and for the first time I wondered if he was right. Then, he made the worst mistake he possible could right then and there. He laughed. Like a solar flare, my rage leaped upward and I welcomed its burning warmth. I got up. The pain vanished as I rode the wave of fury. It was my turn to smile and that put Riori off guard. Power rippled about me, power that was deep, dark and seductive, Lord Vader’s power. I stopped thinking.

I swung my staff upward, parallel to the floor. Using my body as a brace I pirouetted about, a dance move and I caught his left arm on the elbow. With a terrible sound, the arm broke. I didn’t stop as he staggered momentarily shocked by the pain. I coughed and spat blood out of my mouth. I had to end this now or else it was going to end me. I spun around again and swung low catching him on the side of his leg. The crack was loud. He went down on his knees and I kicked him hard in the solar plexus. Watching as he flew backwards and lay winded and momentarily stunned on the mat. My anger sang to me and the force ran with it. I was having a hard time controlling this, I laughed because I liked it even though a part of me knew this was not good, this was not good at all.

I watched for a second or two as Riori struggled to get up but that kick had hurt him and he was struggling to catch his breath. I moved in for the kill. I laid my staff across his throat and braced one end with my knee while applying pressure with my good arm so that I slowly began to crush his neck. The dark anger that writhed in my gut screamed at me to end it now, all it would take is one quick motion and I would walk away the winner, but I hesitated. Somewhere deep inside me a voice that was not mine, a voice I knew only from my dreams, whispered past the fury, past the pain, past the fear. ‘No Merlyn, don’t’. I looked into Riori’s eyes and my anger suddenly receded. His eyes were wide and full of fear. I felt his grief. I understood it. This boy wanted to stop feeling empty. He wanted to find a way beyond his sorrow. He did not want to die and suddenly I didn’t want to kill him. My anger screamed at me as the power I had felt stirring my blood into a frenzy slowly receded. Suddenly I had Thrawn’s words from almost two years ago whispering in my head.

‘Everyone has the capacity to kill, some more so than others. It is a choice many must make on a daily basis, whether they wish to or not, those who choose not to often die because of that decision. But it changes you and it makes you harder, colder in ways you cannot imagine. I am certain that if it came down to the blade’s edge and you had no other avenue available, you would choose life over death, there is enough steel in you to do that, but I should hate to see that happen.’

I took as deep a breath as I could without starting cough and I staggered to my feet using the combat staff to brace my weight, shaking my head.

“No.” I whispered, “I won’t kill him.”

There was a stunned silence in the hall as I backed away from Riori who was starting to sit up. He stared at me with a bitterness, a hatred that I didn’t understand. I looked around leaning heavily on my staff and caught sight of Master Kjestyll looking at me. He gave me one of his rare smiles that reached his eyes and then he bowed to me deeply, a sign of great respect. I turned to walk away and Master Oskarii looked at me.

“If you leave this hall with Riori still alive you know what will happen.” He said quietly.

I nodded. “I know.” I looked over at my Master who just acknowledged with a single slight nod of his head. He knew, he understood and he had accepted it. I think he had expected this from me should I get the upper hand.

I hurt and I wanted to go home. I no longer wanted to be in this place. I straightened up as much as the broken ribs would let me and went to walk out of the hall but a gasp from the crowd and a warning shout from Makki made me turn suddenly to see Riori leaping at me. I didn’t think, I just acted, leaning on the staff and using it as a brace, I sprung up with all my power in my legs and just as he reached me I kicked at him with every ounce of strength and force that I could muster. I felt that last flare of anger surge and coupled with the force I caught him squarely on his jaw with such brutality that his head was twisted violently sideways. The sickening sound of his neck snapping was like Tusken gunfire in Beggar’s Canyon. We both crumpled to the ground at the same time and as I inhaled a deep, painful breath so he exhaled his last. My staff clattered dully on the floor. I laid my hand on his body but there was nothing, no heart beat, no life force. That last move had done something in my chest and I was having real trouble breathing. I coughed and there was blood, lots of it. I looked around but could not focus on the sea of faces swimming about me. People tried to pull me off Riori’s body, I think I was screaming or at least trying to. I had not wanted to kill him. I had not wanted him to die. Pain and fear wrapped around me. I fought against the blood in my lungs, the sensation of drowning from the inside out. The last thing I remembered was hands on my face, my Master’s gentle hands, and the sound of his voice but I didn’t understand what he was trying to say. The world around me swam and when the blackness came I was grateful.

The Bitter Twist of Dark 1

I waited quietly in a dance stance while the announcer read of who we would each be paired off with. There as a sucking in of breath as both mine and my opponent’s name were called. I looked over to see who I was sparring against and suddenly understood. I had been paired off with a rather unhappy looking young man from the Corellian Star School. One of his friends nudged him and he looked back at me. There was something slightly familiar about his face but I couldn’t place it. The smile he gave me was not a nice one and he made a throat slicing gesture with his finger. I just shrugged. What did he think he could do to me? This was not a tourney and the sparring bouts were to be clean. The purpose of these trials was to test the student’s abilities and skill. He and I were evenly matched as far as levels went. There really was no win or lose, or was there?

I got to watch the first round because I was set for the second. I focused on breathing and trying to center. I was sort of used to doing this in stressful situations; I was pretty sure that being in Lord Vader’s presence counted as a stressful situation. I was aware when the first round of students were finished their trials and felt a strange sense of calm when my name was called.

I took my place in front of my opponent and gave him the traditional greeting, right hand curled over left fist and I bowed. I was aware that he did the same but was also aware that underneath his calm exterior he was angry. I just did not know why.

We had three separate rounds in which to prove our skill with the moves we had learned and to show off all that we had been taught within the parameters allowed. As students in a trial, this was not an offensive match but rather a showcase of our abilities; at least it was supposed to be.

My opponent, a tall, muscular young man about my age called Kiol, was not going to play by the rules and his first move was a fast serpent strike with his right hand. I blocked it and countered. We moved around one another, and continued to dance, attack and counter attack. He kept his temper in check but there was an edge to his moves that made me wary. He was aware of the rules but he wanted to hurt me and I didn’t know why, this wasn’t a tourney and we were not enemies. When the judges were satisfied with the first round they signalled us to stop, take a minute and begin the second part, where the more intricate kicks, leaps and leg moves would be judged.

We bowed and began with me on the offensive this time. I liked the leg moves and kicks, they always reminded me of dance and it was part of the Bunduki Arts I was very good at so I got the better of him, while he was powerful and strong he lacked my agility. Instead of trying to focus on what I would do next he allowed his frustration to get the better of him and broke the rules of trial by completing an illegal hand strike at me. It caught me by surprise as he hit me on the side of my face. When I hit the floor I saw stars.

One of the adjudicators stopped the round then and came over to me asking if I was okay. I nodded, shaking off the buzzing in my ears. I heard the judge tell Kiol he now had a black strike, one more and he would fail his trial, this was not a tourney and the object of this was not to hurt the opponent but to evaluate the skills of the students. Kiol mumbled an apology at me and I nodded back. I could not figure out his reasons for being so mad but put it down to the rivalry between the two schools Makki had mentioned earlier.

The third section of the trial was to test for combinations of moves and defensive-offensive skills. We circled about and he moved first, I could tell the combination he was going for because it was an easy one to spot through the body position. He had been well taught but there was a certain stiffness in his motions as though he had memorized choreography and was not feeling it by heart. I countered easily and moved into a more complex combination that was not generally used or utilised, but I liked the flow of it. It put Kiol off and he was unable to defend his body, had I been fighting for real it would have hurt him, as it was I just put him on his ass. When he got up his anger was visible on his face. He launched a series of moves that were fast and furious, putting me on the defensive quickly. He was very strong and quicker than he looked but he was oddly predictable and I was able to counter each combination he threw at me until he lost his temper and in a surprise move dropped into riding bantha stance then swiftly and then with a spring spin, viciously kicked me in the lower chest sending me backwards onto the floor in pain. The crowd made a collective noise of displeasure and the one of judges watching us sounded the tone to let us know that our match was now over and that Kiol had violated the rules a second time meaning that he would not obtain the right to step up a level, but that I would. I got slowly to my feet and wondered at the pain in my side. It felt as though he had cracked one of my ribs with that last kick. As I turned to walk off the floor he suddenly came at me, grabbing me by the front of my kej-ji’doh. He pulled me as close to his face as he could and hissed.

“This is not over, you witch. We know who you work for and we will have revenge for what was done to us. You will pay for Lord Vader’s arrogance.” He would have said more but someone pulled us apart and he was roughly escorted off the floor. My hands were shaking as I was handed my new kej-ji’doh and I barely noticed that Master Fessi had come down from the bench seats to lead me back to the group I was with.

“What was that all about?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I don’t know but he wasn’t being friends.”

He shook his head. “Bloody school rivalries, I wish they’d stop promoting it. Are you hurt?”

I lied and shook my head. “Just winded.” I said. I thought about telling Master Fessi what Kiol had said but then decided not to, after all lots of people hated Lord Vader and I didn’t want anyone to think I was asking for sympathy.

He patted me on the back. “Well, you do this school and your master proud. Well done ke’ashj Merlyn, you are a most promising student and your Master will be pleased. Now come and sit and watch the others.”

I swallowed the aching pain in the right side of my chest and did as he asked, grateful to stop moving. The others all clapped me on the back or the shoulders in congratulations but I didn’t feel so celebratory. As I had glanced around me I noticed that Kiol and two of his fellow students, who were older and stronger looking, were eying me with such a bitter hatred it made me shudder. This wasn’t over yet, not by a long shot. I just hoped that I could avoid any more arguments with them. I didn’t want to give them more of an excuse to dislike me than they already seemed to do. This was one of the disadvantages of working for Lord Vader.

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly and each student from the group I was with passed their trials easily. Only one other student from a different school was not passed for his behaviour and for the most part the rest went on without incident.

I watched with delight as Makki passed his trial and was awarded his white kej-ji’doh. He was a beautiful fighter and I could see why master Fessi had beamed when his student’s name had been called. I wished, at that moment, I would be allowed to train with these other students. I suddenly realised how much I had missed by being taught alone and in private. I made a mental note to ask Master Kjestyll if it would be possible to do so. I was grateful when the master of ceremonies made his speech about how well the first inter-galactic school trials had gone and closed the event. We started to stand up, joke and laugh. Collected our things and prepared to leave the hall. I was in the middle of teasing Makki about something stupid when someone yelled my name.

“Merlyn Gabriel!”

I turned around to see Kiol and the two others flanking him standing with their hands on their hips. Everyone still in the great hall stopped and watched. I was aware that the tension in the room had suddenly tripled. Master Fessi stepped up beside me and I looked up into his face, then back at the three men who faced me.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“You.” Kiol said in a loud clear voice. “I call the Rite of Tet’zais-tjiumei.”

Master Fessi sucked in his breath and the following stillness in the hall was sickening. I turned to him. “What is that?” I asked. I had never heard of it before. While I was slowly learning about the Bunduki Arts and their history from master Kjestyll, this Rite was one I had not been taught yet.

Before Master Fessi could speak Master Kjestyll was at my side. “What is this about ke’ashj Kiol?” he asked. “Are you aware of what you request?”

Kiol pointed at me and said. “She works for the Dark Lord; he is responsible for the death of our father. We will have retribution, we will have revenge and she will pay. I demand the Rite of Tet’zais-tjiumei and you know the rules, once the challenge is laid it cannot be refused.”

I watched as my Master drew a deep slow breath. I could feel his subtle anger and it scared me.

“I am aware of the rules.” He said. “I am also aware that it is forbidden for students to engage in death matches during official trials.”

“The trials are over Master. I will not be denied. Either she fights the Rite of Tet’ or she is punished accordingly.”

“Would someone like to explain some of this to me?” I whispered.

Master Fessi drew me aside as Master Kjestyll called over the other Masters to confer. “The Rite of Tet’zais-tjiumei is a rare challenge usually only given in the direst of circumstances. It is a fight between two combatants to the death. It was only ever used as a last resort when all other avenues of resolving an issue or grievance had been exhausted. Once the challenge has been issued it must be followed through or the one being challenged can walk away but in doing so you also walk away from further training. You would be considered Ash’nej, shunned, and no one from the Bunduki schools would be allowed to ever teach you or speak to you again. You would be banished from our grace and in doing so you would bring about much dishonour to your master.”

“Some choices.” I said softly.

He nodded, “The rules are this way so that the Rite of Tet’ would not be used lightly. This incident is far more unusual than you will ever know.” He sighed. “There’s more. He will have the right to choose someone to fight for him because he is of a lesser level, a lesser strength than you. He can choose someone of a higher level than you even and there is nothing we can do to prevent this. You then get to choose the weapons. In a death match weapons are allowed. The fight ends when one dies.”

“These rules are insane.” I hissed

He nodded, “They are very old, from a time when life was very different.”

I rubbed at my forehead and looked around at the group of scared looks on faces of the new friends I had made today. Now I understood why Kiol had acted so badly during our trial, he had not wanted to obtain a new level, he had wanted to stay behind.

“Why do these things only ever happen to me?” I asked as Master Kjestyll came to my side. I hoped I didn’t sound as worried as I felt.

“Your path is, indeed, a difficult one.” He remarked. “I cannot tell you which way to walk, child but the other masters and I have talked and unfortunately ke’ashj Kiol has the right to do what he has done. This challenge has been laid and must be answered.” He said. The sadness in his voice made me ache.

“Then I accept, I will not have Master Kjestyll’s name dishonoured. I am not afraid to die.” I said loudly enough for everyone to hear. I sounded braver than I felt.

Kiol grinned nastily. “I call the right to have someone fight in my stead. My brother Riori has agreed to do this.” A taller, more powerfully built man, probably three or four years older than me stepped forward. One of the two Kiol had been standing with. I looked from one to the other now that I was aware of it, I saw the family resemblance. Admiral Griff’s sons.

Master Fessi drew a deep breath. “Unacceptable, ke’ashj Riori is level eight and the match will be far too uneven.”

“It is my right to pick whom I choose. If she is not up to the fight then she can step down!” he shouted.

“I can fight in your stead.” Master Kjestyll told me. “You are still my student and I am considered responsible for you, I can take the burden for you as the match would be uneven.”

“He can,” Kiol said, “but what he doesn’t tell you is that this would disgrace you both.”

I was starting to get cross. That slow burning anger that simmered in my gut was making itself known. I forced it down. Now was not the time to get angry. I needed to be clear headed. “Fine, fine! I accept the challenge and I accept the substitute combatant but I get to choose the weapons, yes?”

Everyone nodded.

“Combat staves.” I said and there was a collective sucking in of breath.

“I protest!” shouted Kiol.

I smiled. I knew from long talks with Master Kjestyll that the Bunduki arts concentrated on a weaponless style of combat, this is what made it so deadly. Most students did not learn how to fight with weapons unless they branched off into some of the more elite training styles that also taught weapon use. More often than not most students who wanted to learn these elite styles went to swords, it was flashier. Combat staff training was considered archaic and was not often taught. I had been playing with fighting staves for a very long time, they had been Jyrki’s weapon of choice and he had taught me well. I took it from the general reaction that my choice was very unusual. It was the first time since this whole nasty affair had begun that I felt I had an advantage. It wasn’t much. My side ached with what I was sure was a cracked rib and Riori was not just two levels more experienced than me, but also much larger and stronger physically. This was not going to be fun.

“You can protest all you want ke’ashj Kiol, it is you who have called the Rite of Tet’ and you have requested we all abide by the rules, so then must you. It is her right and she has asked for combat staves. These weapons will be provided and examined by a neutral parties, masters Anadiav and Oskarii have agreed to do this as and act as watchers for the Tet’ match.”

I looked at the two Bunduki Masters who had offered to play chaperone, neither were from the either of the schools involved in this fight. “Do I get time to get ready?” I asked.

“Yes, we begin in an hour from now.” Master Kjestyll said. “Master Fessi will take you to a place where you can prepare and meditate. I will join you in a moment. I must confer with the others about this. This is most unusual.”

I nodded and did not resist Master Fessi’s touch as he led me off to a quiet room off the main hall.

I looked at the Zabraki Master. “Why is this happening? How did this get so complicated?” I asked as he gave me a nutrient bar and handed me a cup of juice.

“I do not know. The Rite of Tet’ has not been used in many decades. It is considered barbaric and out of touch. It was a very old method of sorting out conflicts between two individuals. It was created by the original Followers of Palawa many centuries ago. These boys, they want revenge for something the man you work for supposedly did to their families. They know they could never even hope to come close to Lord Vader and you are, in their eyes, an easy mark. They do not understand that this solves nothing.” He sighed. “You need to concentrated and center.” He told me. “This is not a trial test; this is a fight to the death. Do not focus on the negative or the why. Be the stillness.” He said and I did as he suggested and knelt down to meditate. I heard rather than saw Master Kjestyll enter the room and heard Master Fessi leave. I looked up at my Master and our eyes met.

“I am sorry.” He said. “This should not be happening.”

I shook my head. “I seem to attract the lunatics. It’s as if I am a magnet for insane behaviour and bad things.”

He nodded then said. “Listen to me carefully. This boy you fight is very good, but he does not have the variety of training you have had and he has never sparred with anyone on the level of Lord Vader. He will not think creatively, he is not a dancer. In this fight you may use everything you have to survive within the few rules there are. Now, that being said I will tell you this, you are capable of winning, but you must kill him or else you forfeit everything.” He paused then said slowly, carefully. “If you want to walk away, you may and I shall accept that and all it entails. I will not force you to do something your heart will not allow you to do. Do you understand?”

I nodded. “I do.” I said but I wasn’t so sure. I did not want to be killed or to kill anyone, least of all someone I didn’t know over something I had nothing to do with.

“Meditate, center and find your stillness.” He said as he began to put pressure on certain points on my back, releasing the stress and the terrible fear I was starting to feel. I did as he said and delved deep into my center, hoping I would make it through this latest bit of idiocy in one piece.

The Other Side of Grace 10

I woke up nervous from a listless night full of restless dreams. Not a good way to start one of the most important days of my life. I got up, showered, dressed, ate a decent breakfast and then as arranged I went to the meeting place where I would be picked up along with several other students and taken to where the Trials were being held.

I had discussed the day before with Lord Vader about having the day off for the trials. I wanted to make certain that he knew where I was and what I was doing so that on some off chance that he might actually miss me at work and wonder where I was that he wouldn’t send a bunch of stormtroopers out to drag me back. That would have just been very embarrassing.
His end of the conversation had been as cheery as ever ending with a somewhat terse;

“See that you neither fail nor disappoint me in these trials, girl. I expect nothing but excellence.” He admonished.

I just smiled. “Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, my lord.” One of these days I was going to get thumped for having a smart mouth but as he leaned to sever the holonet connection I could have sworn I heard him chuckle.

There were seven other students waiting at the appointed meeting place. I had not studied with any of them, Master Kjestyll taught me alone. He said the Emperor wished it so I had been given private lessons. It was both an advantage and a disadvantage. Although on occasion, my master managed to arrange for me to have a sparring partner other than himself, I rarely had the opportunity to fight against people who were at the same level I was, more or less. I was the outsider of this group; the others all knew each other well. They had been laughing and joking but as I had approached they had gone silent.

I waved and said hullo in my standard cheery isn’t this wonderful we- are- all-just- going-to- be-the-best-of-friends voice, because I knew what they were thinking. I saw it in their eyes, the same way I saw the same look in everyone’s eyes these days. Oh look it’s Darth Vader’s little pet. I tried not to let it bother me but it did anyway. A few of them mumbled a quiet hullo back and the others just stared. Not much else for me to do except sit and wait, so I did and tried to find that quiet center within as I was doing so. When the transport arrived, along with Master Kjestyll and two other Masters of the Bunduki arts I did not know, I was grateful.

I sat on my own and ignored the cheerful camaraderie of the students travelling with me. It was easy to slip back into feeling left out and alone, even feeling sorry for myself but some where along the trip I began to realise that while I didn’t belong to this group of friends, I had my own group of people that I joked and giggled with. It occurred to me that when others saw me with Shiv and the gang, we too did exactly the same thing. We giggled and whispered and laughed. This group, they weren’t being mean, they just didn’t know me. This thought was comforting after the unquiet night I had experienced and I just closed my eyes and rested until we reached our destination.

Because of the secretive nature of the teachings I had been receiving I was quite surprised at the size of the gathering for the trials. There were over a hundred and fifty participants, from all over the galaxy and I was suddenly more than a little nervous.

One of the other students must have noticed this because he gave me shy smile. “It’ll be fine.” He said. “You’re trying for sixth, right?”

I nodded.

“There are only twelve or so combatants for that level, so it’s not as if you have to fight everyone here.” He grinned.

I grinned back. “Thanks, I was starting to feel as though I was stepping in front of a Krayt Ancient.”

He stuck out his hand for me to shake. “I’m Makki Iekki.” He said with a grin. “The others said you wouldn’t want to talk to us but I told them you were probably a bit shy.”

I took his hand and grinned back. “Merlyn Gabriel.”

He nodded and before I got to say more he added. “Yeah I knew that, guess most people know. They’re all a bit scared of you actually; I guess you thought we were being kinda rude.”

I shook my head. “Well, maybe a little bit but mostly what I thought was how lucky you all are that you get to do this together, I don’t often get to train with others.” I said. “And most people think I am pretty standoffish or being a snob, at least that’s what one of my friends who works at the palace told me a long time ago. With my job it’s hard to know how people will react.”

He nodded and grinned. “Guess it’s hard to know who to trust and talk to, given who you work for.”

“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal and I keep finding out I am wrong about that.”

He laughed. “Hell yeah, you were the big topic of gossip for ages, I knew the guy who had the job before you, not well mind you, but given what happened to him most of us thought you would be history in a week, two plus years later you are still around.” He shrugged. “To most of us that’s nothing short of a miracle. What’s he like to work with anyway?”

“Abrupt and unpredictable.” I said with a smile. “What do you do?”

“Hoping to eventually get into the Royal Guard, this is part of the pre training.” He said running a hand through his short dark hair.

“What level are you going for?”

“Ninth.”

“Oh, wow. And is Master Kjestyll your teacher?”

He shook his head, “No he actually doesn’t teach any classes he supervises mostly, my actual master is the Zabrak over there, Master Fessi. Actually most of the TKA students are pretty envious of you. Master Kjestyll doesn’t give private lessons to just anyone. He only has, I think, three or four solo students and you’re one. How did you swing that?”

I shrugged. “It wasn’t my idea, it was the Emperor’s.” I told him, figuring the truth was better than a lie.

Makki nodded knowingly. “No one says no the Emperor and lives.”

I couldn’t help my grin because I knew someone that did exactly that and got away with it.

“When was your last trial, Merlyn?” he asked as we scanned over the trial floor and the crowds gathered in small groups.

“Almost a year and a half, I have been away on assignment for Lord Vader, so I am a bit behind, but the last trial I was at was very small and very private. Nothing like this.”

“Yeah, this is big. I think they are starting to open up the schools a bit more, not sure why though. For the longest time it was all very hush, hush but the Emperor changed things some months back, before that you couldn’t even utter the name of what we all learn but now you can. I don’t know what happened or why but I am not complaining.” He said.

“I hadn’t heard that, but then my master is pretty tight lipped about most things, we don’t speak a lot.” I told him.

Makki nodded. “He is one of the best. We are lucky to have him at the school. I was nervous when my master told me I would be ready to take these trials. When I disagreed he said ‘If Master Kjestyll arranged for a trial then you must be ready; he would not put you out there if you weren’t.’ It was your master who stopped me from going for my ninth six months ago because he knew I wasn’t quite there yet, even though Master Fessi said I was. I was really angry but you known what? He was right.”

“I am sure you will do well, Ninth trials are at the end of the day right?”

He nodded. “They save the best for last, I get to watch you all bust your butts first.” He laughed. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to the others. They are all dying to find out more about you anyway.

I was introduced and once the initial shyness wore off we all chattered about what was happening. All of us were nervous and none of us had attended such a large example of the Trials before. The buzz in the air was infectious.

Of the group I was with no one else was trying for sixth, two were a level beneath me, going for fifth, what I was now and except for Makki, the other four were all vying for eighth level. None of us would compete until later on so we had plenty of time to watch the juniors and get really wound up.

The arena was not large, and the testing was done by three masters watching the students. Passing the trials was based on several things, form, speed, skill and accuracy but also honour played a big part of it. This was not a competition or even a tournament but it felt a little like one. Each person was matched with a partner whose skill and level pretty much equalled their own. The judging masters would watch and appraise the students’ skill based on what they saw. Each pair had three matches and while it was stressed many times by the person doing the announcing that this was not a competition, there were no prizes being handed out and unlawful conduct would not be tolerated but it sure didn’t feel that way.

Master Kjestyll was one of the selected judges and the other two masters, Master Fessi and Master Loridan were in charge of watching over us. We were herded into our waiting area on the wooden benches and told on no uncertain terms that we were to behave ourselves. The morning passed by easily enough and we watched, more quietly than some of the other groups, as the lower Trial participants began their testing.

It was easy to see the slight differences in the various schools that were there. Makki and I had fun pointing them out to each other. The way certain hand motions were made, or how a crescent moon kick was executed. I was curious to see how the variations in styles also combined, the defensive verses the offensive. It was almost relaxing to watch the little kids pass from level one to level two; they were still unafraid of anything life had yet to throw at them and mostly just enjoyed what they were doing. The older the participants got the more tense the atmosphere became. Even though this was not a tournament it sure was starting to feel like one.

Two of the pairs going for level four had to be stopped because instead of trying to show off their technique and prove they were skilled enough to move on and learn at the next level they were actually trying to beat the brains out of each other. I was surprised at the quick brutality of a one particular pair and wondered if it hadn’t been some sort of a grudge match without anyone knowing.

Makki filled me in on some of the gossip about school rivalries ending with the second largest school in the system. “The Corellian Star school hates us most of all, any judge who pairs one of them with one of us is asking for trouble.” He said.

“Not that any of the Palpatine School would engage in a grudge match, am I right ke’ashj Makki?” whispered Master Fessi, leaning down from his seat up from us to interrupt.

Makki looked up at him. “No master, we all know better than to engage in dishonourable conduct, but sometimes they do make it hard.”

Master Fessi nodded. “All the more reason to show the watching world how disciplined and good we are at what we do.” He said. “All the more reason to show this watching world how we obey and give pride to those who have taught us and gone before, would you not agree ke’ashj Merlyn?”

I nodded, smiling at the use of the title honoured student before my name. Master Kjestyll never called me that, he usually just called me child when he called me anything at all.

“We look forward to seeing your skill, ke’ashj Merlyn, Master Kjestyll says you have great promise for a student who began training so late.”

I blushed. “I am honoured by his praise.” I said, and then added, “I sure hope he’s right.”

Master Fessi laughed. “Find the stillness, little one, and you will find your strength. He has mentioned to me that you have had the honour of sparring with Lord Vader?”

I nodded and must have made a face because he laughed. “I have indeed been on the receiving end of a lesson or two.” I said.

Makki looked at me with wide eyes. “You fight with him and you live?”

“Well it is more like I spend an hour or two trying to avoid being killed and he thinks it’s funny.” I told them. “I usually end up pretty black and blue and mostly we fight with combat staves, and” I added, “he is mostly playing with me, like a jax with a mouse, trust me it’s not as much fun as it sounds.”

Master Fessi nodded. “Lord Vader has been well trained in many martial arts styles, including some of the Bunduki Arts. I am quite certain you have learnt a great deal from him ke’ashj Merlyn.”

I just nodded and gave Makki, who was staring at me as though I had suddenly sprouted five heads and turned green with pink spots, a big grin.

Master Fessi laughed. “I think you have just done the impossible, ke’ashj Merlyn, you have rendered my most garrulous student speechless. Well done.”

In that moment the announcement that the morning’s trials were over and there would be a half hour break for lunch broke any other comments coming my way. Huddled in our little group we ate high count nutrient bars that would not fill us up and make us sluggish, washed down with water. It wasn’t much of a lunch, but then as my trial time drew nearer I wasn’t all that hungry.

As the second half of the day got underway the tone of the event shifted slightly, as the higher levels began to show off their skills and advance upward so did the tension and the excitement.

We all watched with baited breath as the first two students from our small group, Alra and Jutiri were called into the trial square and paired off. Alra was in the first group and Jutiri in the third. They had been partnered with members from the Chandra’beh School from the planet of Malastare. Alra was very petit and she had been paired with someone who was almost twice her size, something I thought was a bit unfair but Master Fessi only shrugged.

“Size is not important, and sometimes being smaller can be advantageous, ke’ashj Alra is very good at taking advantage of her small size.” He said as he munched noisily on an apple.

And he had been right. She was fast and moved with a breezy ease that annoyed the hell out of her opponent. She passed her level easily and Makki whispered to me that she should have passed this level some time ago but had to skip the test because she had come down with vagles, a particularly nasty virus that caused severe burning in the joints.

We all cheered as the announcer gave the results of the first round of participants and then waited until it was Jutiri’s turn.

Jutiri was a medium height, well built young man about three years younger than I was. He had an easy way of moving that reminded me of my uncle’s jaxes. His opponent was taller, more wiry but no less graceful. They were very evenly matched and their three trial bouts were just gorgeous to watch and it was no surprise that they both passed. Nothing could hide their beaming smiles as the master of the ceremonies handed them each their new coloured kej-ji’doh jackets.

When my name was called I was ready. Just as I got up to prepare Master Fessi put a hand on my shoulder.

“Remember who you are and who has taught you ke’ashj Merlyn. Be the stillness do not seek it.” He said.

I bowed to him and thanked him for his words which I had needed to hear. I took a deep breath and then I took my place amongst the others of my trial class. It was a strange thing to look around and size up my peers. It wasn’t a tournament or even a competition but the competitive tension that filled the room was astonishing. No one it seemed learned the Bunduki Arts just for fun; each and every one of us had an edge to sharpen or in some cases an axe to grind.

The Other Side of Grace 9

The micro storm moved quickly across the city and I stood on the balcony, my favourite place in the palace, staring at it. The lights were off and no one else was around. I watched as the storm cells shifted, showering the tall, silvery buildings with flashes of lightening. The sound of thunder vibrated all around and I could feel the wind on my face as the clouds pushed the warm air forward. There was a sweetness to the heavy air and moisture so thick I could taste it, almost drown in it. When it started to rain I raised my head upwards to greet it. Rain was a miracle to a person from Tatooine. These storms were a mirror for my own thoughts, my own inner turmoil. I welcomed them. It had been almost two months now since I had been on my home world, two months since uncle Vahlek and I had taken a little side trip to the Jedi temple and two months since I had received Jyrki’s little data card and in those two months I had not slept well at all.

In difference to how I usually felt about time, at the moment it was dragging its heels miserably. Lord Vader was more often than not away and had not only growled when I had asked to go with him but had expressly forbidden me to go off world at all. When I had asked for a reason his answer was a swift and nasty ‘because I told you to so.’ followed with a little taste of force choke. I had backed down fast. I wasn’t willing to fight him on anything at the moment because his temper had been much worse than usual. So he had gone off to Mechis III and then on to Ord Mantell and I was stuck on Coruscant. He was working with bounty hunters and they were not making him happy. There was a substantial reward for the capture of Luke Skywalker now which had brought out all the very worst sorts of beings into the hunt the rebels game. I had been compiling lists of the better known Bounty Hunters for Lord Vader, sometimes my job experience from working Jabba’s Palace and the docking bay paid off but it had been a bit odd to hear him mention Boba Fett and I had to bite my tongue from saying ‘tell him Merly from Jabba’s says hi.’ I didn’t think that Lord Vader would appreciate being a messenger boy for me.

I brushed wet hair out of my face as the storm unleashed its fury and it rained with a vengeance. Everything was a weird pale orange-pink colour as the city lights reflected in the rain and the off the clouds. Only the lightening changed that into a second of brilliant bluish white every time it struck. I shivered with the sudden change in temperature as the storm cell passed. Below me the traffic moved as it always did, a steady stream of lights and noise. As the rain eased up I could once again see off in the distance the spires of the Jedi Temple. A shudder ran down my spine and I turned my attention away from it. In difference to what my uncle had thought, I had not gone back since our first visit. The temple called to me, though. It made me think of the tales that were told about strange ghosts in the deserts of Tatooine, spirits who would sing to weary travellers especially during sand storms to lure them away from safety and shelter. The temple whispered but I could shut its voice out, at least for now. While I knew there were things waiting to be discovered over there, secrets and answers but my fear outweighed my curiosity and I had no real reason to go back there. Even though I had pulled out the box with my precious things from its hiding place many times I had not activated the holocron cube of my birth mother’s diary.

I was soaked by the time I got back to my flat. I had not intended to stay out on the balcony for so long after my lesson with Master Kjestyll but the micro storms that had danced across the city had lured me and kept me there. The restlessness of the weather mirrored mine but now after an hour of storm watching I was glad to get back to where it was warm and dry. I put the kettle on and grabbed a towel to dry my hair, threw on dry clothes and when the kettle boiled made a hot water and brandy mixed with some honey. With the warm mug cupped in my hands I curled up on the couch to read the letter Jarack had delivered right before I was going to leave work for the day.


A’mia Tekari,

I can only imagine that the palace must slowly becoming back to life as the court returns from its two months on Naboo. We are currently en route to the edge of Wild Space where we will rendezvous for supplies and then continue our way towards the Core. I am hoping to be back on Coruscant in less than two months, perhaps upon my return I can entice you to join me for a quiet dinner far away from the Imperial Palace.

I had not heard about the incident you mentioned and I did not know Admiral Griff that well, only in passing I am afraid but anyone so incredibly stupid enough to come out of hyperspace on top of the flagship of the Imperial Fleet probably deserves what he gets. It was a pity so many loyal Imperials had to pay the price for such stupidity along with him. I can only imagine Lord Vader’s ire at this event. In theory an ISD is equipped with adequate warning systems for obstacles in the way of a hyperspace exit, that is, if the nav computer is properly used. These systems can, of course, be overridden.

I do find it of interest that Admiral Ozzel is now in charge of the Death Squadron, as you so delicately put it, he is a bit of a pompous snob and he is not quite as suitable as some of the other men who might have been better prepared to serve in this posting. Time will tell how good of a placement he is. Firmus Piett, on the other hand, is a very suitable choice as captain if the Executor. I have only spoken with him once very briefly several years ago, before his promotion to Captain. He struck me as a deeply intelligent man with a slight penchant for worrying too much. Like all officers serving directly under Lord Vader’s command I do wish them a certain amount of luck. Vader goes through men the way small children devour sweets.

Memorial services, it has been my experience, are usually sad and quite painful affairs. As a rule they are attended only by the family left behind, close friends and the few officers who have been given leave to do so. I imagine that the service held on Coruscant for Admiral Griff and the men who perished in this disaster was larger than most due to the sheer scale of the accident. It does not surprise me that your attendance was not so well received and you should not take it personally. You know what losing a loved one is like and you also know the anger tat comes with that. They need someone to blame and Lord Vader, along with his associates, is an easy target. It does not matter who is actually at fault.

Speaking of Imperial men, I was intrigued to hear what Zaarin has been up to. Placing hyperdrives in TIEs has been spoken of for several years but it has been mostly a question of logistics, weight verses speed and so on. Shields have been another tricky problem and it will be very interesting to see if the new designs actually work as well as being cost efficient. Zaarin is a brilliant engineer and tactician so I am quite sure that if anyone would be able to make these plans a reality, he will. While I may not like the man on a personal level, his engineering skills are to be admired. Your comment on my popularity amongst some of the Grand Admirals was most amusing. No, they don’t like me very much. As an alien I am in a minority amongst Imperial officers and it would seem that the Emperor’s faith in my abilities has created some sibling rivalry amongst his favoured twelve.

Tigellinus is especially unhappy about my place in the Emperor’s fleet, he feels that Palpatine has made a very grave error in affording me the freedom he so far has. However, Tigellinus is short sighted and sees nothing beyond his own petty desires for power. He is not a military genius but does have a commendable knack for courting the right people at the right time and ingratiating himself into the elite circles. He does not like me much at all I am afraid, although I am not sure exactly why, apart from the obvious fact of my not being human. With Zaarin, on the other hand, it is more a rivalry borne of our individual gifts for strategy and tactical thinking. I do not think that he, unlike Tigellinus, actually hates me, but rather I annoy him and I am in his way. To be honest he probably every bit as intelligent as I am and I am quite certain were we ever to engage in a game of dejarik the outcome might very well be stalemate. He’s quite analytical in his thinking.

This must seem a bit like petty school yard politicking to you and, indeed, it is. None of these men understand my reasons for doing what I do, nor do they understand my relationship with the Emperor. I suspect that if they were to ever uncover the truth of the matter the shock would kill them but like so many men of power they are blinded by their own desire to not only hold onto the power they feel they have worked so hard for but they also wish to gain more. These petty games don’t interest me much but I find myself forced to play them in order to get what I want from this position. One of these days perhaps you will understand this a little better. We all play games, my dear. It is just our reasons for doing that differ.

I find it hard to put into words the anger I felt upon hearing that Jyrki Andando has not seen fit to leave you in peace. That his message frightened you is of no surprise, you suffered great trauma at his hands. This is not as easily forgotten as one might hope. Your uncle feels the same way, it seems, in his desire to protect you and I was glad to hear you were not alone when you came back to the Coruscant. Thanks to that delightful holo-vid you sent, I have an image in my mind now of your entire family and I should think that Vahlek Akosh would be a very interesting person to speak with. Perhaps one day we shall get to meet in person although I am not sure about the reception I would receive from him. I am quite certain that while he is aware of my presence in your life, you have not been exactly forth coming in telling him everything about me. Speaking of being forth coming, I hope that you have submitted a report of Jyrki’s message to Intel or at the very least to Lord Vader. There is a warrant out for his arrest.

My dear, you seem to excel at getting yourself into trouble and you do not need much help in this area from me. As I have explained previously, the Chiss have a very strict policy of not attacking first. I, however, do not always agree with or follow this policy as you have pointed out. While it has served the Chiss people well enough to sit back and wait for the aggression of another. I do not subscribe to this approach, feeling it leaves us open to an attack that perhaps we would be otherwise better prepared for had we known before hand the military capabilities of our opponents.

I am not certain as to whether frisking you for concealed weapons would come under a pre-emptive strike heading or not, as I recall when we met for the first time you did threaten to do me bodily harm. As I see it, my searching your persons for dangerous objects is merely a measure of self protection after the first aggressive moves had already been made. I highly doubt that your inexperience in the area of the type of conversational tactics we have been engaging in will be a hindrance for you, you learn swiftly and do not often make the same mistake twice. I am quite certain under my firm guidance you will become a more than worthy opponent in these exercises, you are physically and mentally adept at adapting. I am also well aware of your most unique and interesting defensive abilities but you should be made aware that I have a habit of turning situations around so that I have the tactical advantage despite any appearances to the contrary. I would be more than happy to educate you in this delightful field of tactics and strategies, I am quite certain you would enjoy the hands on approach I would choose. I am most definitely, as you asked, up for this little rumble (you really must stop reading Holloway books) and I am most curious about how far you wish this to go with it. I believe you have the next move.

On that note, my dear, I must end this. I wish you the very best of luck in your up and coming Bunduki trials. I am quite certain you will do very well. Do not take the disparaging looks you received at the Griff memorial to heart. As with all things, once the initial sting of loss has passed the family will come to terms with it and move on as we all must do after the death of a loved one. You have nothing to do with the military side of things and this is a known fact. You are not responsible and no one blames you at all. You just happened to be a convenient target. Don’t take it personally.

Ilath’mera’talashti’Ia
Mitth’raw’nuruodo


The rain pelted against the windows of my flat and I shivered even though I wasn’t cold. Thrawn’s words about Jyrki brought back the fear I had felt when I had received the data card message. I had neither submitted a report to Intel, nor had I told Lord Vader about it. I didn’t actually think either would be that interested. For Intel, I was unimportant and in Lord Vader’s eyes I should be able to take care of myself. This situation just annoyed me more than anything else. I wasn’t at all sure what Jyrki had hoped to gain by sending me this message. His actions didn’t make any sense to me they just made me furious as well as frightened and I wasn’t sure which emotion annoyed me more.

My mind drifted to the up coming trials. I had been training hard and had learned much. Master Kjestyll assured me I was more than ready but I was nervous about it. I had been trained in private by one of the best Bunduki masters around; while this gave me the advantage of being well trained it had its disadvantages. I almost never got to train with other students of my own level. It was a little lonely sometimes but I never brought it up because I was certain that my master had his reasons for this and who was I to question his wisdom. He would have probably berated me for this way of thinking. He had told me often enough, ‘A student’s job is to question everything, including the master’. I still did not know what these trials would be like and the more I thought about it the more I worried about them. I had tried to talk to Lord Vader about my concerns but he didn’t anything helpful to say.

As lightening flashed, momentarily brightening the living room, I wondered what it would actually be like to see Thrawn in the flesh once more. It had been a very long time and yet despite this and the distance between us I never felt closer to him. His letters were gifts and the presents he sent gentle reminders that he thought about me from time to time. That pleased me and the strange verbal teasing we had engaged in was thrilling. I looked forward to his return to the core. His absence not only made my heart ache but created a longing that was difficult to ignore. I suppose it was only normal that I had begun to imagine what being with him for real again would be like, distracting thoughts that helped me pass my free time that were not very productive.

With a sigh I put Thrawn’s letter away. Jarack had told me that because they were on some sort of manoeuvres at the moment he would not be back until after my trial. I had told him that would at least give me something worth writing about, that my life was quiet and dull at the moment. He had laughed and said teasingly that a person should be careful when saying that sort of thing out loud.

“Why is that?” I had asked.

“The gods might just be listening.” He had replied with a grin.

I had just shaken my head as he was left but now, sitting here in the solitude of my flat, the micro storms raging outside, I wondered about his warning. He had been joking but now I didn’t think it was all that funny.

It was late and sitting in the dimly lit room being maudlin was not doing me any good so after I tucked Thrawn’s letter away and cleaned up my dishes. I went to bed. Lord Vader was still away but that didn’t mean I wasn’t busy. I had more than enough to do, on top of preparing for my trials. I did as Thrawn suggested and stopped dwelling on the animosity I had felt at the Griff Memorial service, stopped worrying about things I could not control and tried to get some sleep.

The Other Side of Grace 8

The trip back from Tatooine went quickly. Uncle Vahlek was a great travelling companion and I was glad of his presence. We reached Coruscant in the early evening and landed on the pad close to my own flat.

“Do you have a place to stay the night?” I asked.

“Yes, with you.” He said matter of factly.

We walked through the halls to my Imperial Palace home and when we entered he whistled. “You live in style.” He said. “This is very nice.”

I shrugged. “Tea?” I asked.

“Not yet. Show me this library of yours, lei’lei.” He said shucking off his long coat and setting down his bag, and pulling a small satchel across his shoulders

We walked through the quiet dark halls. There was no one around and we did not speak. I unlocked the library door and we walked in. Nothing had changed, nothing had stirred. The dust had not been disturbed since my last visit and everything was still in place.

I turned on the small wall lights and watched as my uncle wandered around looking at the stacks and their contents.

“You were given this library?” he asked quietly.

“Sort of, yeah, I guess.”

“Where is the book shelf, the one you said that covered the wall panel that leads to the stairs down.” he asked.

I led him to it and watched as he studied the book shelf, its contents and the wall carefully. I had never seen him so intent before. It was as if he could soak up every tiny detail and later he would be able to recite them exactly.

“Help me move this.” He commanded, so I did. The bookshelf was made from a very old heavy wood and it was full. Moving it was not as easy as it sounded but in the end we managed to shift it away from the wall. I watched as my uncle closed his eyes and with the flat of his hand moved over the wooden panels of the wall. After five minutes he stood up and nodded.

“Lei’lei, do what I just did, but open up, drop your blocks and use the force.” He said. He moved aside to let me stand where had had stood and I did the exact same thing he had done with his hand. As he had suggested I used the force to see and to my surprise I found something.

With my fingertips I touched the one place on the wall that had felt different from all the rest and with a soft snick, the panel slid open. I looked at uncle Vahlek who grinned. He drew a small torch from the satchel and before I could think to protest he stepped into the secret passage leaving me to follow. It was exactly as he had said. We made our way down an incredibly long flight of stone stairs and as we descended I noticed the air began to smell less and less fresh. The light from uncle Vahlek’s torch was surprisingly bright. As we walked downward he stopped for a moment to let me see how the tunnel had been constructed.

“The first part was built but I wager the lowest parts will have been carved from the planet’s bedrock. We will have to go down a very long way.” He said. His voice was muffled sounding.

I didn’t like this place at all, I didn’t like the smallness of it, the stale air or the fact that my ears reacted to the pressure change in the air but we kept on going. When we came to the bottom there were two paths. We took the left one.

“Touch the walls.” My uncle said. “What do you sense?”

“Nothing, no memories.” I said in a whisper. “This place is dead. No one has been here in years.”

“Good.” He said and we kept walking. The passage way was large enough for him to walk upright in but narrow enough that I felt constantly on the verge of panic. I did not like this dark enclosed place.

He sensed my agitation. “Don’t worry, lei’lei, this place has been around for a very long time it is not going to collapse now.”

‘Breathe, just breathe, child.’ Master Kjestyll’s voice whispered in my head. I fought the knot of fear building up in my solar plexus and kept on walking. It had not occurred to me to question what we were doing or why.

The tunnel sloped slightly downward and then eventually evened out. I felt as though we had walked for days but when I mentioned this uncle Vahlek said. “No, we have been walking for about an hour. The dark and the unknown makes time stretch out, seem longer.”

We kept going until I noticed that the way had begun, ever so gently, to curve upwards and when we came to stairs I knew that we had reached the end of the tunnel. The steps up were well worn and as we climbed upwards I noticed fresher air, there was ventilation here. I brushed the tunnel wall with my finger tips but there were only faint echoes and no vivid memories. About half way there was a hand rail to hold onto. I gripped it tightly, hoping it would tell me more, give up its secrets and stories of who had made this place, who had used this place but my psychometric gift was fickle and not easily called up. It came when it wanted to and not the other way around. I almost bumped into uncle Vahlek when he stopped short in front of a door.

“Do the same thing you did in the library, find the lock. It will be force activated.” He told me. I drew a deep breath and did as he asked. There was power on this doorway and it radiated like sunlight. I let my thoughts slide away and followed the source of the warmth. I didn’t know how I opened the door but it swung away from us with a soft click.

“Well done.” He said softly and he went first.

We were in a small room tucked away in a subbasement. Nothing had been here for many years. A thick layer of dust covered everything. I followed uncle Vahlek as he walked with a certainty that told me he knew exactly where he was going. All around me I felt the whispers of long dead ghosts. This place was huge and empty. It scared me.

“These rooms were mostly used for storage.” Uncle Vahlek told me as we headed out into a main hallway. “The dormitories and the living quarters are two floors up, the archives and main library two floors above that. The great council room was in the center tower.”

“How do you know all this?” I asked as we walked up a stairwell.

“I spent some time here on and off.” He said vaguely. “This way.” He held the door open for me and I walked into a hallway that was a lot larger, and more airy than anything I had seen up until this point.

“Jyrki lived here; he was just a small boy then.” I whispered. “He told me about the night that the 501st swept through with Anakin Skywalker and killed all the Jedi who were here, including the children.” I shivered, knowing now that Anakin and Lord Vader were the same person. I had not wanted to even think about this, not wanted to imagine that the man I worked for, for some reason cared about had mercilessly slaughtered children.

Uncle Vahlek looked at me but didn’t comment.

“Why did you come here, Zte’sa?” I pressed breaking the awful silence.

“I sometimes contracted to work for the Jedi,” He said stopping for a moment to look around, “Before and during the Clone wars.”

I followed his gaze, began to stretch out with my own small force talents to try and grasp the scope of the building we were in but I couldn’t. “How big is this place?” I asked.

“Huge and it’s very old, close to over four thousand years old. It has been modified and built on many, many times. It used to be beautiful, full of light. There were fountains and extraordinary gardens.” He said. We kept on walking, passing smaller corridors, heading up small stairwells, and closed doors. Suddenly without rhyme or reason I felt drawn to go left.

“Wait, lei’lei?” Uncle Vahlek hissed and tried to grasp my arm but missed.

I didn’t answer but just kept going. I didn’t need the torch’s light, even in the dark I knew the way. I almost ran until I reached a set of twisted, shattered glass doors. The room was large and full of broken furniture, small box like objects, decayed pieces of fabric, feeding bottles and various amounts of ruined machinery, including medical droids. There were dark stains on the floor and the walls. I walked into the middle of the room and looked around as my uncle, who had followed me, shone the torch about. I knelt down and touched the nearest bit of broken furniture. Images shot through my head violently and I gasped with the pain of it.

“This was a nursery.” My uncle said putting his hand on my shoulder. His touch brought me back to the present.

“They shot babies. They killed each and every one.” I whispered. I felt sick. “They were screaming and crying but the soldiers didn’t care. How could they do this, how?” My skin pricked with cold sweat and I desperately fought the urge to vomit.

Uncle Vahlek caught me by the arm and tugged me to my feet. “Come on. This room is not a good place for you to be and there is nothing you want to know here.” He hissed trying to drag me out, but I fought him. I had been led here for a reason and if I left now I wouldn’t come back.

I shook free from his grip and walked about the rubble and the mess. No one had been here in a long time. I picked my way around the objects that lay tossed and scattered around, casually brushing my hand against them. I was looking for what had called me to this place. Some sent me memories and others held their secrets too tightly for me to see. Everything was a jumble until my fingers brushed the back of an over turned rocking chair. The vision sent me to my knees as it coursed through me. My mother had often sat in this chair. I saw her there, rocking small babies, whispering to them, laughing and even singing. The chair gave up these secrets willingly. She had longed for a baby of her own, saddened that she would never have one. I saw her as clearly sitting in the chair with a tiny Twi’lek baby in her arms. She was in the middle of telling the baby a story when someone burst into the nursery. She had looked up and as she had absorbed the news that war had been declared and that armies of clones were to be used against the droid armies of the separatists. Suddenly all the babies began to cry as if they could sense her distress. The vision faded and I came back to the present with uncle Vahlek squatting down at my side.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

I nodded. “Yes.” I told him but I wasn’t so sure about that. I wiped the tears from my face. I had not even realized I was crying.

Shakily I got up and followed him out of the room. We kept moving and I made sure not to touch a thing. We found the library after only another fifteen minutes. I was surprised that most of the holo files were still in the stacks. The library was, for the most part, still intact. I looked around and sighed. Part of me yearned to just stay here and search through everything. All this information, all this data it was enticing.

Uncle Vahlek must have read my mind. “You have a perfect memory for direction, right? You could find this room again if you came back on our own?” He asked.

“Yes, I could find it again, but I don’t know if I want to.” I nodded. “This place is filled with bad memories and I think I got what I came for, at least for now.” I looked at him.

“Well, I haven’t.” Uncle Vahlek said. “Come on.” and then he walked through the huge library to a door tucked away behind the stacks. It was locked.

“Open it.” He said. I glanced at him. There was a thread of urgency in his voice and no mistaking the command behind the request.

I closed my eyes and concentrated, my hand hovered above the lock mechanism. The door opened to my touch with a gentle, almost apologetic sound.

“What are you looking for?”

But he didn’t answer me instead he brushed past me into the room and looked around. Suddenly I was very afraid and all the hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

“Zte’sa, we should go.” I whispered, rubbing my arms to ward off the cold.

He ignored the request and went deeper into the smaller room, which was full of storage units and shelved data. I followed him but the sensation of being watched, being hunted only got worse.

“We need to leave.” I tugged at his sleeve. “Now!”

“Wait, go out and stand watch.” He told me. There was a thread of steel in his voice and impatience. I stood a moment too long and he turned on me. “Lei’lei, get out of this room. I will be very fast, trust me.” There was a ferocity in his eyes I had never seen before and I backed away leaving him to do what ever it was he had come here to do. I could hear him moving softly about but I couldn’t see what he was doing and the sensation of danger grew worse and worse. It was a darkness pressing against my mind. It hurt to breathe and panic surged through me.

“Zte’sa, please, we need to go now!” I hissed at him sending a mental push he could not ignore.

He came out of the room two minutes later holding something wrapped in a cloth which he slipped into the satchel slung across his neck. He closed the door and told me to lock it. I did, my fingers trembled violently. He took my hand in his and led me through the library in a different direction from the way we had come, down a small set of stairs and through a labyrinth of hallways. He had turned off his torch and we were completely in the dark. It would have been unnerving except he knew his way around and I could sense where I was. Our footsteps echoed about the empty space, sounding too loud, too urgent.

I stumbled over some unexpected rubble. To steady myself I braced my hand against the wall only to be assaulted with visions I didn’t want. Images of small children running for their lives smashed into my head, terrified, older children who were trying to defend the smaller ones, the sounds of screaming and blaster fire. I gasped and cried out but my uncle did not stop. Instead he tightened his grip on my hand and pulled. We were almost running through the dark hallways, down stairwells and through corridors until we were back at the entrance to the underground passage.

“Touch the door. Has anyone else passed this way?” he was not out of breath or even breathing hard but my lungs ached with fear and I could not speak.

I didn’t think to argue with him and did as he had asked. The last memories the door held were of him and me. I shook my head.

“Quickly.” He whispered and when the door had closed behind us he made me lock it the same way I had opened it.

As swiftly as was possible we made our way back through the long dark tunnel, up the never ending stairs to the library in the Imperial palace. I half expected the Emperor himself to be waiting for us like a decrepit old rancor as we stepped into the cool, dimly lit room but it was empty. I shut the wall panel and we slid the book case back to its original position. There was no way I could hide the disturbed dust so I disturbed the dust all over the place, until I was sneezing and coughing so much I couldn’t breathe.

“Lei’lei, stop.” Uncle Vahlek said gently, catching my hands in his. His touch was calming and made me realise I was on the verge of hysteria. He pulled me away and we left the library silently. I made sure the lights were off and the door was locked.

In the quiet of my flat I heaved a sigh of relief and the overwhelming fear I had felt began to subside. I dug out the bottle of brandy, one of Thrawn’s gifts that had been delivered to me shortly after I had arrived back on Coruscant and poured two generous glasses. My hands shook as I carried them from the kitchen to the living room and handed one to my uncle.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” I asked. Now that I was back in the relative safety of my own space my fright was quickly replaced by anger.

He accepted the brandy and took a thoughtful sip from it. Then with a sigh he opened the satchel and he drew out what he had taken from the room off the temple library and uncovered it.

I just stared. Wrapped in the cloth were two small crystal cubes and several data cards. “What are they?” I asked, pointing to the cubes.

“They were called holocrons, data storage crystals designed by the Jedi.” He picked the left one up and held it out to me. “These two I found under your mother’s name.”

I sat down hard on the floor. I did not take the offered cube form his outstretched hand. “You knew you’d find them?”

“That was the records and recording room. I knew what to look for.” He was not telling me the whole truth; he was hiding something, being evasive. It was the very first time I could remember ever sensing a lie from him and I didn’t like it, it made my skin crawl.

“Who are you, Zte’sa? Why do you know these things?” I whispered suddenly afraid of him.

He held my gaze for a moment, seeing my fear, reading my thoughts and then he sighed and placed the two small cubes on the table. “I don’t know if you will need a password to open that or not, certainly you will need to use your gift, holocrons were force activated. Most of the things in the temple were force activated, which is probably why much of it still stands.”

“You are lying to me and you won’t answer my questions. Should I be as scared of you as I feel?” I asked looking into his pale eyes. I expected anger but only saw sorrow there and that scared me more.

“It is not so much about lying to you, lei’lei, as it is about not telling you the entire story. I am trying to protect you.” He said. That was the truth. “What frightened you so badly in the Temple tonight? What did you sense?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I don’t know. I felt something, a presence, something dark and malevolent. It pushed at me, tried to crawl inside of me.” I shivered at the memory. “We were not alone and what ever it was, it was evil.” I said remembering the terrible need to get the hell out of that place. “You know so much about everything, but you are not force sensitive are you?”

“No, thank the stars I am not blessed with that terrible gift.” He said wearily. He sipped at the brandy and sat back. Suddenly, I realised he, too, had been scared. He ran his left hand through his long hair and dust flew off it, back lit from the small lamp in the corner it almost looked as though his head was glowing. White dust dancing about his white hair, the image almost made me smile. I wanted to ask what he had been scared of because I had always thought him fearless, invincible but instead I bit my tongue. I didn’t really want to know the answer to this question at all.

“We stirred up old ghosts, lei’lei.” He said as though he read my thoughts. “Many innocent beings died horribly in that place. Their voices linger.”

“What is on the data cards?” I asked nodding to the satchel at his side.

“Personal information I would rather not have lying around for anyone to find. While reading a holocron requires force sensitivity to be opened, data crystals can be sliced.”

“You won’t actually answer my questions will you?” I said.

He gazed intently at me. His eyes which were pale to begin with almost appeared as translucent as the dust. “If you push I will, but I’d rather you didn’t.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was tired and frightened. He must have sensed that and he continued. “I swore a blood oath to protect you, with my life if necessary.” he said. “But there are secrets and they need to be kept.”

“Is that why you came back here with me?” I asked

“Partially.” He said.

“You came back to enter the Temple, but you needed me to do that didn’t you.”

“You always were a clever girl.” He said.

“You used me.”

He leaned forward and gave me a look that sent shivers down my spine. “Would you have preferred to go into that place alone?” he asked very quietly.

I shook my head.

He sat back and sighed deeply. “I wanted to be sure you were safe.” He said and that was the truth.

“You think that Jyrki might try something again?” I asked after a long silence.

He leaned forward and gave me a small, tight smile but his eyes were as cold and dead looking as Kerest had been. I shivered. “Jyrki Andando should know better. I wanted to be certain this time you came home to no surprises.”

I snorted. “This place isn’t home, Zte’sa.”

That made his smile soften and the hardness vanished. “No, of course not.”

I looked at the holocrons and went to pick one up. My uncle watched me carefully. The first cube sat in my palm and while I felt a faint buzz as though a slight current ran through it, the cube did not give up any secrets.

“Nothing?” he asked. I shook my head, put it gently back down and picked up the second one.

I gasped as I felt it come alive in my hand. The holographic image that appeared was that of a young girl. She stood straight and tall, with her hands clasped behind her back. I glanced at my uncle and felt a lump in my throat when the holographic image began to speak.

***Today is a big day for me. I am to be taken on as a Padawan learner. I was scared that this would not happen because I am almost eleven now and Keito told me that if none of the Jedi wants to take you as a student by the time you are thirteen then you must leave the Temple. I would be scared to go, this is my home, but now I don’t have to worry about this because now I am to be the Padawan of Master Ilmari Tane. I am glad; I like him a lot, he smiles and even laughs sometimes unlike some of the more serious Masters I have seen.

There will be a ceremony tomorrow afternoon and then everything will be official but Master Tane came by the library today to speak with me and let me know of his decision and to ask if I was happy with it. When I said yes, he gave me this holocron and told me to start keeping a diary of everything. He said that I would be glad I did, a way to remember everything I am going to be taught. He said it was a good first lesson…remembering the path that was to find the path that will be. I don’t understand what he means by this but I will do as he asks. So this is my first entry. My name is Akali L’uanna, I am ten years old, I was born on the planet of Naboo but I don’t remember it. I have been told that my mother was from Naboo but my father was from Kiffu. I have no memories of them because I was taken from my family to the Temple when I was just a baby. I am going to become a Jedi. I am so excited. ***

The entry ended. Before anything else could crop up, I put the little cube back on the table and the holographic image disappeared. I stared at the holocrons for a long time and said nothing. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say.

“Well, it appears you will have the chance to get to know your birth mother a little better after all.” My uncle said, breaking the silence.

I nodded, biting my lip.

“Hide them well, lei’lei. They are precious.”

“Did you know they were there?”

He shook his head. “No, but I hoped.” He told me. “You need to connect with your lineage somehow and as much as you seem to dote on Darth Vader he is not the be-all and end-all of how the force works. I don’t want to see you end up like him, twisted and angry all the time.”

“You don’t like him?”

Uncle Vahlek shook his head. “That is neither here nor there; I just don’t want to see you get hurt. There is more than one side to how the force works. I know, I used to work for the Jedi, spent a great deal of time with some of them, talking with them, watching their ways. This Sith teaching that the Emperor and Vader seem so keen of having you learn is not the only way.”

“For someone who isn’t force sensitive, you seem to know an awful lot about it all.” I said sharply.

“Information is the most valuable asset a person can have.” He said cryptically. He brushed dusty hair back from his face and lay back against the couch, his eyes closed. “I’m getting too old for this nonsense.” He sighed.

I just stared at him for a moment and then got up. “I’ll get you some bedding. I hope the sofa is okay, I don’t have a spare bed.” I told him.

“Lei’lei…” He began and I turned to look at him. “That was well done tonight.”

“No it wasn’t, it was stupid!” I shot back. “We should never have gone there. Terrible things happened there and that place is haunted by evil and sorrow.”

He stared at me for a moment then said. “Just remember that when you go back, then.”

I made a face and went to get the bedding, by the time I got back he had already stretched out and was asleep. As I placed a blanket over him I knew in that moment that as much as I feared him, as much of a mystery as he was to me, he was a part of my family and I loved him dearly.

I thought that I would lie in bed awake for hours but as soon as I tucked myself between the covers I fell asleep and if I dreamt I never knew it. When I awoke the next morning uncle Vahlek had already gone. The holocron cubes were till on the table where he had left them. I picked them up with a cloth so that I wouldn’t have to touch them again and hid them in the box I had bought to keep my precious things in. The box was kept tucked away in a secret place. I showered, ate breakfast and went to work as though nothing had happened. The day passed without and major incidents and I had spent most of it sorting through the news I had missed while I had been on Tatooine. In the afternoon I had gone to a Memorial service and after that I came home. When I got back I found a tiny holotransmitter with a message waiting for me.

-Lei’lei, I know you have questions and I know you are scared. I am sorry if I added to this last night, but you do not need to fear me. I swore to protect you and that is an oath I cannot and will not break. I would beg you not to go back to the temple and never speak of it to anyone, not even to the man whose token you wear, but I know that you are stubborn enough, or perhaps young and foolish enough not to listen to me. There are some things, some secrets which should never be revealed. You were right when you said there is much evil in the temple but it wasn’t always that way. Once it was a place of great learning and of much joy. While I have wanted to go back there for a long time for myself, I truly did not want you to be alone when you ventured in there as I knew you would have. You are far too curious to let something like that be. Call it killing two wamprats with one shot. We will see one another soon enough, don’t be surprised and don’t give everything away either. Watch yourself, lei’lei. I fear for you. Jyrki has not done with you yet and you let your emotions for him get in the way. Just remember if you need anything I am here for you.
Zte’sa Vahlek -

I sat and stared at the holo message as it repeated itself and then turned it off. I was tired and he was right, I was scared and because I didn’t want to think about any of these things any more did what I always did to take my mind off what ever was bothering me, I re read Thrawn’s letters then answered his last one. I had news to tell that did not involve midnight raids on the old Jedi Temple.

Mia e’Tekari,

I apologise for not writing sooner, I had hoped that I would get a chance when most of the court and essential office staff relocated to the Retreat but that was not the case. Instead I came back from my trip home to a mountain of work and a very annoyed Lord Vader, among other things.

Have you heard about the death of Admiral Amice Griff? Did you know him? His fleet was supposed to be a blockade against the rebel fleet but something went really wrong. Of course, what the news didn’t say was that he managed to come out of Hyperspace right on top of the Executor. It was the Executor’s shields that destroyed Griff’s fleet, vaporized them instantly. Lord Vader was furious when told me what really happened. Well, told isn’t exactly the right word I’d use, more like exploded about it. He explained in more detail than I really wanted to hear how Admiral Griff’s fleet manoeuvred the rebels so that they could only go through a really dangerous area marked by unpredictable stellar flares from a rogue star. It had been planned that by driving the rebels into this area they would be caught there and be easily captured, but that wasn’t the case. The rebels were able to get through this passage and escape.

Lord Vader said that to lead the rebel ships through this part of space safely must have taken someone with powerful force abilities and he suspected it was the same kid who managed to blow up the Death Star. He also said that it was Griff’s own blind ambition that led to the destruction of the Imperial ships and men. If he had done what he was supposed to, which was to stay put and continue to be a blockade he’d still be alive.

So now the Death Squadron is under the command of Admiral Ozzel. The Executor command has now been handed to Captain Piett who was formerly on board the Accuser. I have only ever met Admiral Ozzel once, at one of the palace functions. He struck me as a bit of a pompous snob and I heard some of the junior officers go on about him being not terribly bright, wondering how he ever actually made Admiral in the first place.

Firmus Piett, on the other hand, is an interesting man, though very quiet and quite unassuming. I spent some time talking with him last year at one of the smaller functions, a promotion or something, I can’t remember any more. We spoke mainly of the perils of coming from an Outer Rim world. He was born on Axxila, a place he described as Coruscant turned inside out. He was very kind to me actually at an event where I knew hardly anyone and was, for the most part, if not ignored then shunned. We had a good laugh about that and we decided that people generally come in two categories when it comes to Lord Vader, those who hate him and everyone around him to the point of totally ignoring them or those who fawn over anyone or anything having to do with Lord Vader in the hopes of currying some sort of favour. Typical of such a quiet, thoughtful man, he has a wickedly sharp sense of humour.

I was shocked when I heard all this news and, as you can well imagine, it has turned things here a little upside down. To put it bluntly, it’s been a bloody mad house. There was a memorial service for Admiral Griff and the men who lost their lives today and I went because it was held in the Palace in the main hall. I was a bit surprised at how few people outside of the relatives of those who perished were there. Maybe it would have been better attended had the court been here and not on Naboo, as it is right now, even the Emperor was a no show. I thought it a bit strange that His Eminence did not attend personally but rather had a holographic message played. It was very sad actually, because so many family members lost someone they loved and it brought back a lot of painful memories.

Admiral Griff leaves behind a wife and three sons, they came all the way from Corellia to attend the service, but they kept distant and were surrounded by their own friends so I didn’t get to pass along my regrets to them in person. They were very upset. It was extremely hard to be there and when I laid flowers upon the memorial stone I was given some really dark looks from most of the people there including Admiral Griff’s family. From the whispers I heard, they blame Lord Vader for this incident not Admiral Griff, even though Lord Vader wasn’t the one who jumped out of hyperspace into an unsafe area. I went to the service as a sort of courtesy but I don’t think I’ll attend any more, they are just too sad and I don’t like the feeling of being associated with the bad guy. And this wasn’t even Lord Vader’s fault. Isn’t it possible to actually check your hyperspace exit point to see if it is free and clear? I thought that the nav computers had some sort of built in collision guard?

I am glad you were not upset by the whole Grand Ball thing. It was quite strange to attend it, to be honest. When he wasn’t arguing with the likes of Admiral Harkov or GA Tigellinus, or dancing with flirty young courtesans, Zaarin spent most of his time talking about the new TIE designs they are working on, the adding of hyperdrive and shields to them to make them a far more effective against the rebel ships, the x-wings. The lecture he gave me about the work he is doing was one of the highlights of the evening, which tells you everything you need to know about the event. What I found interesting were the constant barbs about you that both Zaarin and Tigellinus kept spouting. Neither of them likes you very much. It irritates Zaarin to no end that I appear to prefer the company of ‘the Emperor’s pet Alien’ over him. Some people just don’t get it, you know? Zaarin can ask me out all he wants I still would rather trek through the jungles of Myrkr with you than have dinner in the finest restaurant with him. Tigellinus, on the other hand spent the entire evening practicing his disdainful look. He is, for the record, an awful dancer and he has bad breath and for the life of me I can’t figure out exactly what it is Tigellinus actually does in the Empire as work. In the end it was Shiv and the gang who saved the evening for me. They acted as guardian angels, saving me from the pomposity of boring Grand Admirals who just love to talk about themselves. Shiv and Tygra took me home and I was grateful for the chaperone service.

Thank you so very much for the two beautiful books you sent. I took them with me to Tatooine on the hopes that I would have some quiet time to read them but that was not the case. My family had other plans. We celebrated Boonta Eve in great style and I was too tried the next day because I stayed up all night talking with my Uncle Vahlek. He was helping me sort through some stuff that was on my mind.

Just before I left Coruscant to fly out I received a data message from Jyrki. It was short and cryptic but it would seem he has not quite finished with me yet. I spent a lot of time talking with uncle Vahlek about this because Jyrki’s note scared me more than I had ever thought possible. My uncle even travelled back to the Core planet with me. Normally, I would have complained about the babysitting, but I was just grateful to have him along and I guess he knew this. He isn’t usually the type to interfere or poke his nose in my life.

He’s a bit of a mystery, my uncle. He has a past he won’t discuss and begs me from asking about it in such a way that I cannot help but comply. Sometimes I wonder what it is that he hides because every now and then I get a feeling of terrible sorrow from him. He tucks it away very well and I don’t pry but sometimes people’s emotions are so powerful that they can’t stop them from leaking and I pick up on it even when I am not trying.

Anyway, I promise I will read the books you sent. They will take my mind off the trials coming up in a few months. Master Kjestyll does his best to calm my fears about it but I am nervous. It is one thing to have a private trial with one’s master as the judge and quite another to test against another student from another school while being watched by goodness knows how many. I am not overly big on the audience thing.

Your description of Chiss policy and tactics on defence was very interesting but if the Chiss do not make the first aggressive move then you seem to have violated this rule because if I remember correctly it was you who initiated the first act of “aggression” with me. Not that I mind, but it does seem contradictory to what you told me. I suppose this is your subtle, rebellious nature coming into play? I also have to wonder then if ‘frisking me for concealed weapons’ comes under pre-emptive strike? I must admit that your defences are impressive but surely you are aware I do have some interesting counter measures of my own. As I recall the last time I used them you were somewhat taken by surprise. I do agree that this skirmish would be far more fun in person than on paper. You put it so aptly the last time we fenced verbally. I do enjoy the linguistic challenge of exploring an alien tongue. So far your follow through efforts have been offensively weak, or is this your way of trying to put me off guard? My experience in these kinds of battles is very limited and as you have by now surmised you have the tactical advantage. So if you want a worthy opponent, you will have to educate me, something I doubt you will mind as I think you secretly enjoy teaching and are especially fond of the ‘hands on’ approach. So, yes, I do believe you answered my question adequately; the next question would be, are you up for this little rumble? I am quite curious about your next move. On that note I think I will end this before I get myself into trouble I can’t get out of.

I am enclosing a data card that has a holo-vid from the Boonta Eve celebration. Bel took it for me so I would not get lonely. I made you a copy, I thought you might enjoy seeing everyone again as well as the fireworks that were shot over Mos Eisley. We were all up on the roof of the house watching them and we had been drinking zuffi all day so be warned, the recording is pretty silly. I think the only two people you won’t recognize are Nate and Zte’sa Vahlek. Nate is the one with shaggy brown hair and my uncle is the one with long white hair.

It’s late and I am tired so I will end this now. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Mera’ta’llath’Ia,
Merlyn

When I had finished writing the letter I folded it and stuck it in an envelope with the data card before I could change my mind. I turned on the holonet to watch the late news and promptly fell asleep on the couch.