In the darkness of the tunnels we walked quietly. I knew the way well enough I didn’t really need the little flashlight I held in my hand and as he had often explained to me before, the Chiss had exceptional night vision. I concentrated on the force, stretching out as far as I could to see for hidden dangers. This wasn’t a skill I was very good at but even the little bit I could do helped to ease my growing sense of unrest. Every now and then I felt the brush of Thrawn’s hand on my arm reassuring me, a reminder that I was not alone.
“How did you find this passage?” he asked when we were about half way to the temple.
I told him about the blueprints in the library but not about my first trip to the temple with my uncle.
“And you have to be force sensitive to enter?” he queried.
“Yes. All the locks are opened by using the force but I don’t know how to explain it. It is a little like the retinal ident scans that you sometimes see. It is as if what is holding to doors shut recognize the touch of the force.”
“Interesting.” Was the only thing he said to that and we were silent for the rest of the trip.
Once inside the temple I led him to the great library. I felt his awe and nodded a little. The soft light from the archives cast eerie shadows around us and I shivered. This was not where I wanted to be at two in the morning even with Thrawn. I went to the terminal I had used before and activated it.
“What do you want to know?” I asked him.
“Look for any information on the Outbound Flight Project.” He said.
I nodded and began a search. It didn’t take as long as I had thought. The project had not been a secret. I had pulled up the available files and began to skim through them. He stood behind me and read the information with me.
“Wow, that thing was huge!” I whistled. Looking at the picture of the actual ship, or rather ships that had been some how bound together around a central core.
He nodded. “It was.”
I looked up at him. “You sound like you saw it.”
“I did.” He replied coolly in a voice that said ‘please stop asking me questions about this right now’.
“What are we doing here?” I asked him, tugging on his sleeve.
He turned to look directly at me. “You are helping find information on something that happened thirty years ago. I need some answers.”
“Does this have to do with your brother?” I asked starting to recall some of our previous conversations.
“Partially.” He said and then he looked at me. “Let’s get this done first. I will tell you everything you want to know when we return home.”
I nodded and stepped aside to let him continue. While he was busy I began to look around. The great library was huge, with two floors of shelves and stacks filled with data-logs and books. There had been busts and statues lining the main hall way but many of these had been toppled over and smashed or destroyed with blaster fire. Many of the holo-books had been destroyed but not all and although the library was peaceful now, it had been the scene of great violence. I shuddered. It was the first time I had taken the time to look around. The past two visits had been hurried and fearful. Looking around at the wilful destruction of what had once been an extraordinary peaceful place to be did not ease my fears any. This was not a good place any more. It was full of bad memories and restless ghosts.
“A’myshk’a, come here.” Thrawn said calmly, his voice echoing about the room..
I went to him and peered over his shoulder.
“I need to find out more about this person.” He said tapping the screen.
I looked at the image of Jedi Master C’boath and nodded. He moved out of the way and let me search through the system.
“There might be some more information in the other record’s room.” I said and went to the room where my uncle had found the holocrons from my mother. He followed me silently, watching with keen interest as I opened the locked door.
In the small room I needed light. I pulled out the small torch from my satchel and began to search. The ghosts here nagged at me, tugged at me and frightened me. After what seemed too long a time I found what I was looking for. The little storage drawer slid open under my touch. While the door to the room was force locked, the rest wasn’t. I peeked inside and pulled out the data chips that lay there. They sat in my hand but did not give up any secrets. I looked at Thrawn and then handed them to him. Before he could say anything I began to look for a name, Jyrki Andando, it was easy to locate but any information that had been removed. I brushed my fingertips over the drawer and let out the breath I had been holding. The last person to have touched this had been my uncle. I glanced over at Thrawn. He was inserting the chips into the terminal reader.
“You can do that at home.” I said, angry without knowing why.
He shook his head. “It may be the data leads me to more information we can find here. You don’t have to be a force user to access the information inside this room it seems.”
I shook my head. “Guess the Jedi were a trusting bunch.” I said tartly.
“It was a different time.”
I sighed. Then, quite suddenly, I felt a tug from within. Something in the temple called to me, much as it had done the very first time I had been here.
“I have to go find something. Will you be alright here?” I asked.
He nodded, fished in his pocket and tossed me a small comm-link. “There’s a built in tracking signal. So you don’t get lost.”
“I never get lost.” I told him tartly. He just smiled slightly but didn’t say anything and before I had turned around to leave he had gone back to studying the information on the data chips.
Maybe I never got lost but I didn’t know where I was going. Pulled by an invisible hand I made my way through parts of the Temple I had never been before. I didn’t like how I felt. That itchy niggling sensation between my shoulder blades that I associated with very bad things was stronger than ever. I became aware that I was being pulled to the center of the great building, and when I stood in front of the turbo lift I hesitated. Then I stepped in, muttering to myself about what a really terrible idea this was. I didn’t know what to expect when I stepped out of the lift but the council chamber wasn’t it.
It was a huge room with an ornate floor and chairs of assorted sizes that had once been set in a circle. Behind the chairs were large picture windows. From this room you could look out over Coruscant for as far as the eye could see but it was not these things that stopped my breath. It was the remnants of chaos in the room that caused me to tremble. I walked in and stepped over clothes, broken furniture and what looked like dried blood. My heart raced. I had no idea what I was doing here and I was very afraid.
I walked around the room slowly, hugging my arms close to my body and staring out of the windows. There was so much power in this room and it frightened me. I resisted the temptation to touch the seats. They were all different shapes and sizes and I guessed they had been specifically designed for the person sitting in it reminding me that once upon a time aliens had been as welcome as humans in important roles in the Old Republic.
“Why have you brought me here?” I whispered to the dark but the dark had no answers for me.
Twice I circled the room and then because I didn’t know what else to do I slowly and very carefully began to let my fingers brush objects. There were so many memories here that most of what I saw was jumbled and made no sense. I got vague images of the people and beings that had once made major decisions for the Republic’s law and order. It was strange and unsettling but it did not answer the nagging feeling that still had not gone away yet. As I began my third time walking behind the seats in a circle I noticed a piece of clothing that had been almost brushed under one of the seats. Without thinking about what I was doing I picked it up. The little robe had belonged to a small boy. I was brought to my knees instantly by the images that the robe sent me. I clutched it to my chest as the visions crashed through me.
It was night and they were hiding. She had told them to hide, Jocasta Nu, the librarian. “Go to the council Chambers and hide, wait for help!” The children had all hidden away from the noise, from the chaos and the screaming. They were very young and they were scared.
One of the little girls was crying. Sors Bandeam, the boy with the blond hair, tried to comfort her but she was too frightened.
“Shhh, Caitie, shhhh.” He was trying to hush her.
Caitie hiccupped and shook. “Why is this happening? The soldiers were killing them.” She cried.
“Sors, what do we do if no one comes?” the owner of the tunic said.
Sors shook his head. “I don’t know Kelou, trust in the Force, like master Yoda says.”
All the children had clustered together, hiding behind the chairs. They waited in terrified silence until the sound of the turbo lift broke the night’s hush, frightening them even more. They held their breath until the doors opened and a figure stepped out into the dimly lit room.
“It’s Master Skywalker.” Kelou whispered.
Sors timidly moved from behind the chair where he had been hiding. He stepped forward to face Anakin Skywalker and the others peeped from behind the chairs, watching.
Sors looked up at Anakin “Master Skywalker! There are too many troops! What should we do?” he asked.
For a moment there was absolute silence and then Anakin ignited his lightsaber and before anyone could do or say anything he had slaughtered Sors. The others were stunned into silence then Caitie screamed and tried to run. Anakin’s saber throw cut her down. Kelou tried to grab the others, to get them to make themselves small, invisible but it was of no use. For a moment there was absolute chaos as the children tried to defend themselves but in the space of seconds Anakin had killed them all. As his lightsaber cut the through body of the boy whose tunic I held in my hands, I felt the blow as though it were real, pain sliced through me and I saw the blackness of death as it sucked Kelou down into its maw. He had been the last of the children to die. He had watched all of his friends being murdered by Anakin’s hand and his very last thought had been ‘Why, Master Skywalker, why?’
I sat on the floor gripping the tunic in my hands so tightly I could feel my own nails cutting through the fabric into my palms. As the visions and memories faded, letting go of me I vomited violently.
“Why?” I whispered echoing Kelou’s words, wiping the spit from my mouth with my sleeve. “Why did you want me to see this?” I was covered in an icy cold sweat and I was shaking. I grasped the back of the nearest chair to try and get to my feet only to be assaulted by a second equally powerful memory.
Anakin sat in the chair and looked around the room. The bodies of the children he had slaughtered lay on the floor. The air was filled with the stench of ozone, blood and charred flesh. As the rage which had flooded through him faded he realised what he had done. He had known these younglings since the day they had been brought to the temple. He knew each of them by name. They had looked up to him, admired him and wanted to be like him. They had come to him with their questions, their smiles and in the worst time ever they had come to him out of fear looking to him for protection instead, without thinking about it, he had killed them in cold blood. There, in the silence of the council chambers, Anakin Skywalker leaned back in the chair and covered his eyes with his gloved hand. He knew what he had done was wrong beyond all belief, he knew it but he felt powerless to stop it. He could feel the dark side of the force, its energy seductive and sweet course through him, twisting him from the inside out but somewhere deep down in his soul he also understood he had lost something very precious and he wept. It was there that the Emperor found him, when their eyes met Anakin knew there was no turning back. The Emperor smiled gleefully, his laughter echoing around the blood tainted room and eternally into my brain…
I might have screamed then but I wasn’t certain. I had covered my mouth with my hands, pressing tightly against my lips to stop the terrible sounds that threatened to break out of my chest. I couldn’t seem to catch my breath properly. This was how Thrawn found me, kneeling on the council chamber floor, with the stench of vomit on my clothes, trying to remember how to breathe. He didn’t try to speak to me; he just pulled me to my feet. A surge of anger so swift and sudden raced through me that I didn’t have time to think, I just acted.
I turned on him. “Why did you make me come back here!?” I screamed at him. “Why?!”
“What happened, are you alright?” he asked.
“No!” I yelled at him, on the verge of hysteria. “No!” I slammed my fists against his chest not once but twice. I hurt him but before I could do it a third time he caught my wrists. I fought him, struggling and shouting at him. What came out of my mouth was gibberish, a mixture of languages and thoughts. I was out of my mind, caught some where between my own memories and the memories that did not belong to me at all.
“Merlyn, stop it. Stop it!” He said sharply, holding my arms firmly. I was hyperventilating. He pulled me to him whispering calmly in my ear over and over again. “Breathe sj’iu tekari, breathe, you have to calm down.” Under the spell of his voice I did as he asked and slowly, slowly came back to myself. Only then did I sense how worried he had been.
“What happened?” he asked again when he knew I could speak. “Tell me.”
But I couldn’t. How could I verbalize what I had seen? What this room had shown me? What Anakin Skywalker, Darth Vader had done. What the Emperor had asked of him and what it had cost. How could I tell him about the pain of being cut down? How a lightsaber, as it sliced through one’s skin, felt? What death looked like or smelled like? I pulled away from him slowly. I felt as though I were moving through soupy, murky water. Somewhere in my brain I knew I was not right, that something was very wrong with me but nothing connected.
“Did you get what you wanted?” I asked, my voice sounding to my ears as though it were coming from some place a billion kilometres away.
He hesitated a second and then nodded. “Yes.” The half truth hung in the air. He was torn between his desire and thirst for knowledge and concern for my well being.
“Can we please go now?” I asked. I was scattered and unfocused, and using every ounce of inner strength not to let the rising swell of emotions the visions had created engulf me once more. The screams of the children clamoured in my head and the Emperor’s laughter taunted at me, lingering like a terrible smell.
He nodded. He followed me to the turbo lift and we headed back down into the main hall. By the time we had reached the library I had become devoid of all feeling. I stopped in mid stride and looked around. My uncle had been right, I should not have come back here, not because there were dangers lurking waiting to kill me in the shadows because there were too many memories and some how uncle Vahlek had known my talent was getting stronger. It wasn’t the present that would hurt me here, it was the past. Thrawn said nothing as I led the way back to the passage under the city. We slipped out of the Imperial palace and he drove home in silence.
He opened the door to his flat and I pushed past him. I tore at my clothes, stripping them off as I fled to the ‘fresher. I desperately needed to wash the stench of fear and the cold, sickly sweat from my body. I stood naked in the bathroom and looked around. I could not recall how I came to be in this room. I felt the kiss of cold touch my soul and the remnants of the Emperor’s laughter rippled about me from the inside out. I could still feel the vicious burn as Anakin’s lightsaber had sliced into Kelou’s flesh, as though his body and my body were one in the same. In many ways it was as though Anakin had murdered me along with the boy. It was just a memory but it was too real for my mind to separate. Nausea welled up as my stomach rebelling against the visions and their reality. The taste of bile was bitter and acrid in my mouth. Unwanted and unexpected rage, pure and white hot, along with a thousand other emotions suddenly exploded inside of me. I sank to the cold tile floor because my legs couldn’t hold me up. I began to scream and I couldn’t stop. I knelt on the cold floor, holding my head in my hands trying to block out all images which had branded them selves in my brain, hearing a voice I didn’t realise was my own pierce the air. I knew something was really wrong but I was so far removed from myself, it was as though I were watching this person go quite mad from very far away.
I wasn’t sure when I became aware of Thrawn at my side. He had wrapped a robe around my body and was rocking me back and forth. His arms held me tightly; one hand pressing my head against his chest as though holding me close to the sound of his heart would somehow make things better. He stroked my hair and whispered to me in his native language, eventually bringing me back to the present. The silence in the room was more frightening than my hysterical screaming had been. I sat ridged in his embrace, staring into a void only I could see, clutching at the invisible wound from a lightsaber that had never touched me. It burned.
“Are you calm now?” he asked after what felt like hours. He lifted my face up to look in my eyes. He didn’t like what he saw, his worry was palpable.
I nodded but it was a lie. I wasn’t calm, I was numb.
“What happened?”
I shook my head. “Can’t tell you.”
“Why not?” He demanded, there was no mistaking the hint of anger underneath the concern.
“I don’t have the words.” I told him. “There are no words, none…” I could feel the swell of panic begin to rise again, what I wanted to say tripped on my tongue and came out as babble. He silenced the rush of nonsense with his fingertip.
“Then show me, the way you do with Vader.” He said firmly. He knew me well enough to understand that whatever I had seen, whatever it was I had experienced at the Temple was beyond bad but he didn’t know what he was asking me to do, what he was asking me to do to him.
I shook my head. I wasn’t even sure I could. I had never intentionally tried to share anything with him telepathically and this was not what I wanted to start with. I knew this method of communication worked with Lord Vader, but he was so powerfully in tune with the force it somehow seemed easy and I knew it wasn’t. I had no idea how it would work for someone who was head blind to the force.
“Show me.” He said punctuating each word, a command rather than a request, still holding my face in his hands, making me look at him. He nodded. So I opened myself up, just as Lord Vader had taught me, I could see the living force all around me, all around him. It danced and rippled. I brushed his mind with mine and felt him fight the invasion for a split second then he opened to me, just enough.
I did as he asked and I showed him exactly what I had seen and felt. Everything I had experienced in the council chambers flooded into him the same way it had done with me. I heard him grunt with the shock and gasp at the pain of it but I didn’t stop. When I was finished all he did was hold on to me and he didn’t let go. In the silence of the ‘fresher I realised that what ever he had been imagining, he had not been expecting or prepared for that. Stunned, he wasn’t sure what to do next. I pulled away from him and got up slowly. I was chilled and stiff from sitting half naked on the cold floor.
“I need to shower.” I told him.
He nodded, letting me go. When he joined me under the very hot running water I didn’t complain, instead because his kindness and his gentle touch were far more damaging to my ability to hold it together than harsh words or brute strength could have been, I wept. He caressed me as though he could take away the pain, the anguish with the brush of his fingers but it didn’t work that way. I tasted of death and it coated everything thing. These memories which were not mine had been permanently burned in my mind, in my soul. I didn’t want them and I didn’t know what to do with them. After a while I stopped crying, I had no more tears left and just stood under the running water in Thrawn’s arms. There was nothing left to do or say. When the water ran cold, he turned it off, covered me in a towel and lifted me up. He cradled me next to him.
“I am so sorry, A’myshk’a. I did not understand” he whispered in my ear. “This gift of yours, it is a terrible thing and I had no idea, no idea at all.”
I nodded. “How could you have known?” I asked, suddenly weary beyond belief. I patted his shoulder so he would set me down. I wrapped the towel around me. I didn’t know what else to say to him so I just left him to dry off. I dressed for bed and slipped under the crisp, clean covers of his beautiful antique bed. He followed me, holding on to me tightly. Neither of us uttered a sound and for what little was left of the night we stayed that way neither speaking, nor sleeping. For the very first time in my life I wished that I was force blind, or better yet, dead.
A Star Wars story told from a different point of view.
26.6.06
The Mirror within the Mask 2
I woke up with a start. The dreams that plagued me in my flat followed me here as well. I sat up and concentrated on getting my breathing back to normal. Thrawn looked up at me.
“Nightmares?” He asked sleepily. His hand was warm on my back.
“It’s okay.” I said. “Go back to sleep.” I got out of bed, stole his robe and made my way to the kitchen to make tea before he could really wake up.
In the quiet of the kitchen I sat and sipped tea. I had activated the little holocron and listened to my birth mother’s voice as she talked about her daily life in the Temple. Mostly her entries were of normal, mundane things, sometimes they were a little dull even but the next entry made me sad.
*** Today I heard some terrible news. Master Qui Gon Jinn is dead. He was killed on Naboo yesterday. I cried when I heard this because he was one of the Jedi Masters who was always kind to me and I don’t know…he was a friend … he was someone I could go an talk to…. ***
The entry was short because she had started to cry and had turned off the recorder. She had talked often about Qui Gon Jinn. He and her own master were close and she looked at Qui Gon almost the same way I tended to see my uncle Vahlek. I felt for her loss because in my own way I had known him too. I listened to the next entry.
*** I saw the new boy today, Anakin I think his name is. The whole temple is talking about him. He is supposed to be the chosen one. I asked Master Tane what that meant. He said it had to do with an old prophecy. ... “And in the time of greatest despair, there shall come a saviour, and he shall be known as: The son of the suns.” This was what he told me, but I don’t understand it.
Anakin is Obi-Wan Kenobi’s Padawan learner, even though the boy is nine or ten, which is old to be taken into the temple and taught. There are some masters who are unhappy about this but they don’t speak it out loud. They say Anakin is too old to start learning the ways of the force. Master Tane says this is because it is difficult to undo any imprinting that has already been done. In Anakin’s case the love for his mother. I asked Master Tane why love was such a bad thing. He told me that love is not the issue but attachment is. I am not certain I understand what he means by this. He asked me how I felt about my own mother. I said I didn’t have any feelings about her, I don’t know her. He smiled and asked did I love her. I said I supposed in a sort of distant way, she was my mother after all. He smiled and pointed out to me this is what he meant about non attachment.
I asked him then what age was too old because I remember hearing people say that Master Vos was also older than normal when Master Tholme brought him to the temple to be trained. Master Tane just shrugged and said; “Master Tholme had his reasons and the situation was quite different.” He then went on to tell me that Master Vos is from the same planet my father was from and that I am half Kiffar. He asked me if I ever picked up images from objects that I touched and I wondered how he knew this because I don’t talk about it. He told me that psychometry was a gift known to be prevalent amongst Kiffar and that maybe if I wanted to know more about it I could ask master Vos or master Tholme when they were not busy.
I don’t like this gift and I try hard to ignore it. Sometimes I ‘see’ the worst images from things that I have touched. Master Tane just nodded when I told him this and then told me that this was all the more reason to try and learn how to use it properly. I must have made one of my famous faces because he laughed and told me to be careful in case the wind changed.
I haven’t had the chance to speak to Anakin yet, he stays very close to Obi-Wan. Master Tane says that the boy is homesick, missing his mother and his planet. He comes from Tatooine. I had to look that up on the star map and could not believe how far away it was. It has a binary solar system so I imagine that he must find Coruscant really cold. I feel sorry for him, he always looks lonely…. ***
“What is that?” Thrawn’s voice in the dark made me jump and the holocron switched off as I lost concentration.
“I thought you were sleeping.” I said turning to look at him. He came to stand beside me and picked up my cup, sipped at the now cold tea and made a face.
“I was but when you did not return to bed after an hour I got worried that you had been spirited away. It seems I am getting used to your warmth at my side. Then I heard voices and wondered if there was a party going on I had not been invited to.” He said caressing my face.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.” I said getting up to put the kettle on to make more tea. He sat on one of the kitchen stools and watched me.
“You didn’t wake me, sj’iu tekari but your absence did.” For a moment we just looked at each other. Tousled and sleepy he made my heart skip. He ran his hand through his hair and I realised that as jittery as he made me, so I also had an effect on him. The moment between us hung in the air and then broke when he picked up the little glowing cube.
“So, what is this?” he asked a second time. “And whose voice was I hearing?”
“It’s called a holocron.” I said. “The Jedi used them as data storage devices. They hold enough data to fill about a hundred standard data chips.”
“Clever little device.” He studied it carefully in the dim light of the kitchen. “And the woman speaking?” he pressed.
“My birth mother, Akali L’uanna.” I told him, pouring hot water in to the tea pot. “This is her diary.”
He turned it over in his fingers. “How does it work?”
I poured two cups of tea then sat on the stool beside him and took the cube from his hands. “It’s force activated. Watch.” I said. I concentrated and felt my thoughts connect with the little cube.
I fast forwarded a little to pick an entry at random. The cube flickered on and the little holographic image of my mother shimmered into place. I wasn’t sure what date of entry I had picked but she was at least four or five years older than the entry I had been listening to when Thrawn had come into the kitchen.
***My friend Lorana is leaving and she isn’t happy about it either. She came to me last night to tell me the news and today the whole place is a buzz. Six Jedi masters and twelve Jedi knights are leaving the Temple to go with the Outbound Flight Project. Nobody thought it was going to go ahead but Master C’boath managed to work it out…. ***
Thrawn looked up at me so suddenly and so sharply that my concentration slipped and the holocron switched itself off.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Did she say Outbound Flight?” he asked, there was an edge to his voice that I had never heard before.
I nodded. “Why?”
“Where did you get this from?” he asked ignoring my question.
I hesitated just long enough that he glanced at me, knowing I had considered lying.
“It is important to me.” He said quietly.
“The Jedi Temple.” I admitted.
He looked at me for a moment. “I thought that place was locked down, the doors all sealed and under tight security. No one can get inside. It is considered condemned and off limits. ” He asked.
I looked into his eyes. “There are ways around security.”
He nodded his understanding. “Take me there.” He said getting up.
“Now? Right now?” I asked. “It’s the middle of the night.”
“There are records in the Temple, yes? Archives?” he asked.
I nodded. “There is an enormous library there, why?”
“Can you access the files?” he asked heading to the bedroom to get dressed. I followed him not liking where this was heading at all.
“Some of them, but the system is old and I don’t know how to use it all that well yet.”
“Get dressed.” He said. “I want you to take me there now, tonight.” There was an urgency in his voice I had never heard before and didn’t understand. It never occurred to me to argue with him.
I dressed as he had in black clothes that were easy to move in. I slung the satchel with the lightsaber still in it over my shoulder and watched as he checked his pistol and then holstered it.
“We need to go back to the palace.” I told him. “The entrance I use is there, but this is not a good idea, the Temple is a bad place to be.” I told him.
He nodded. “Your concern is noted. Let’s go.” He said coldly and without further word we left.
23.6.06
The Mirror within the Mask 1
Lord Vader paced. He hated waiting almost as much as he hated any official function at which he was required to appear. This one was especially bad as it would be simulcast across the galaxy via holonet. The Emperor had spared no expense for this event which would display the military might of his Empire to all, the unveiling of the SSD Executor.
The Emperor had decided that the main ceremony would be held at the Imperial Palace, reinforcing the statement that this was the center of the galaxy and the seat of power, but holo-net cameras would show the ship’s unveiling from the undisclosed space dock where she had been for the past two days for cleaning and last minute repairs.
When it was time for the procession everyone was told to get into their places. I watched with some amusement as the people who were standing behind Lord Vader gave him a fairly wide berth. The only men who did not seem terribly concerned about being near him were Thrawn and Zaarin. Everyone looked amazing in their dress uniforms or finest clothes. The reception, after the speeches and actual unveiling, would be one for the largest and most extravagant in some time.
I, along with the others who had been privileged enough to join the before party but did not need to walk behind the Emperor and stand on the main dais made our way into the great hall and sat in chairs that had our names in very elegant cards on them. Shiv had arranged it so we sat together and I was grateful. Sometimes it really helped to know the person in charge of organising events.
The lights in the hall dimmed as the Emperor walked forward to address the waiting crowd. I could feel the excitement and tension ripple in the air. While for me the Executor was not a new toy, for most of the people attending this function and almost the rest of the galaxy watching the holonet, this would be their first glimpse of the Super Star Destroyer. No wonder they were all excited.
“Loyal citizens of the Empire I welcome you all here today, to this auspicious occasion.” The Emperor began, his eerie voice echoing through the silence that the crowd below gave him. There was a pause and people clapped and cheered. The Emperor made a slight hand gesture and the hall was once again silenced.
“For over twenty years now, the Empire has over seen peace and prosperity in this great galaxy and today we crown this achievement by unveiling the newest addition to our glorious Imperial fleet. With this new ship we shall be more so than ever have the ability to maintain law and order through out this galaxy, protecting its citizens and providing the military might against outside threats that might wish to harm the peace and harmony we have worked so hard to achieve. For the last six months this latest addition to the fleet has been tried and tested, put through the most rigorous of training exercises with the very best of men and women the Empire has to offer, so without further ado I give you the Super Star Destroyer Executor!”
The crowd went mad as they cheered and clapped all the while watching as a giant holonet projection suddenly displayed the space dock where the Executor was cradled. In a slow, languorous movement the dock released its clamps and the Executor began to move forward so that meter by meter the ship was revealed. Flanking the great ship were two standard sized ISD’s and the scale difference produced a collective gasp of stunned amazement from the audience watching.
When the giant ship was free from the space dock film crews on board smaller more agile ships began to show footage of the Executor from every angle possible. Even I was impressed with this show. When they were done showing the ship off from the outside a crew that had stationed inside switched their live feed on and we suddenly were shown the bridge of the ship.
Admiral Ozzel, Captain Piett and the rest of the bridge officers all stood smartly to attention in their dress uniforms while the holo feed panned around to show off the sheer size and scale of the ship’s command deck. The last image that was broadcast was the view from the forward windows and the response from the crowd in the hall said that this had done its job and the populace was suitably impressed enough to forget that not only had taxes been raised significantly in the last year to help pay for this but that shortly they would be raised again.
There were more speeches made by various other members of the High Command and Imperial Council and then we were allowed to make our way from the great hall to the room which housed the Grand ball for a very large, no expense spared reception that would turn into a party.
“Well, she’s impressive.” Shiv whispered in my ear as we meandered out of the hall like a herd of domestic banthas.
I nodded. “Yep. Lord Vader’s baby. I hope they don’t scratch the paint.”
That remark made Shiv laugh.
We were joined by Antygra and Ynyth when we entered the Ball room. Shiv snagged champagne glasses from a passing waiter and we all touched glasses together and toasted to the Empire.
“I have to ask,” Antygra said. “Why do we need such a huge ship? Surely she can’t be agile enough to go chasing down all the threats the Empire faces?”
“She’ll be used more as a space oriented command center.” I said. “But she’s more agile and faster than you might think.”
Antygra gave me a look. “Of course you would come to its defence.”
I looked at Shiv for an explanation to Antygra’s sudden animosity. He shrugged. “Tygs isn’t happy about this because the defence budget was given a huge increase but the budget for his department has been cut by thirty percent for the second year in a row.”
“I had to fire five of my people last month.” Tygs said. “You work for Vader, Merly, tell me is there really a need for all this fire power?”
I sipped my champagne. “Lord Vader doesn’t actually discuss such matters with me, but with the Rebellion doing all the damage that they have been doing, along with groups like JAN, not to mention the rise of pirates and smuggling I don’t know that I have a problem with it. The Executor makes it easier to co ordinate defence from space, the command center can travel to where it is needed most as opposed to being fixed on one planet. This makes it more secure. The Rebels are less likely to be able to find it and blow it up like they would a space station or even a planet.”
Shiv nodded. “That makes sense. I heard that the costs alone from the sabotage done by the Justice Action Network could fuel half the Imperial fleet for a year. If this new ship can help sort that mess out then it’s worth it.”
Ynyth nodded her agreement. “Yeah, I heard what they did to the Corusca Line Yacht and the undersea mono rail in retaliation for Earnst Kamiel’s execution. I think I agree with Merly and Shiv. Increased Imperial defence presence is a good thing.”
Tygs shook his head. “Tell that to my family. They’ve had to sell off half their property on Corellia in order to be able to cope with the tax hikes. It seems to me that if you are really rich you get all the breaks and if you are really poor no one cares but it’s the middle class who ends up paying for everything.” He sighed and then in a whisper added. “Sometimes I wonder if the rebels aren’t right.”
I just looked at him. “You should be very careful about what you say on that topic.” I said quietly.
“Why? Are you going to report me?” he asked a little nastily.
I opened my mouth to reply but Ynyth got there first. “Hey, Tygs, leave her alone she’s in the same boat we are.”
Tygs just gave me a look. “They arrested two people in HR because of you.” He told me. “One of them was a good friend of mine.”
“What!?”
He nodded.
I looked at Shiv and then back at Antygra. “Okay someone needs to explain this because it’s the first I’ve heard of it.”
Shiv sighed. “The word going around is that you complained about the lack of security and blame HR for someone busting into your flat.”
“That’s an outright lie!” I said my loudly enough that the people around us stopped talking and looked our way.
“Keep your voice down, Merly.” Shiv hissed.
I looked at Antygra. “First of all, I did not complain to anyone about a lack of security and secondly why would I blame HR for someone breaking into the flat? That’s a security problem not a human resources issue!”
“Well, rumour is you are still on the outs with Priss.” Shiv said.
I rolled my eyes. “Oh please, I care as much about her and what she thinks as I do about the spice mines of Kessel. The break in had nothing to do with HR and I certainly did not imply otherwise.”
“The HR people are all scared of you; they half expect you to send Vader down on them at a moment’s notice. You get special treatment from the Emperor and they don’t know what to make of that. I heard the Emperor himself commented on the break in.” Tygs said.
“He did, but I didn’t talk to him about it, in fact I was surprised he even knew.” I said. “Who is starting these rumours?”
Antygra shrugged. “I heard it from Bobbyn who said he was told by a guy down in security whose sister works in HR.”
I shook my head at the way the rumour mill worked. “I can’t believe you even listen to this stuff or that you think I would be like that!” he went to say something but I wasn’t finished yet. “I have family out on the Rim, and they suffer because of the tax hikes and the increased patrols as well. My father runs a docking bay and transport service for Sarlacc’s sake; do you think it’s easy for him? He doesn’t get any breaks because I work here, in fact if anything it’s made things worse.”
“So you don’t abuse your position and job to get what you want?” Tygs pressed and I could not believe the weird turn this conversation had taken.
“I don’t know what you mean by that. It’s not like working for Lord Vader is easy you know! Just how would I abuse it?”
“Well… some of us wonder how it is you do stay alive when everyone else who has worked closely with that monster ends up either dead or banished to some garrison in the middle of nowhere!” his argument was losing steam but I was getting annoyed with him.
“So doing my job well in order to stay alive means I am abusing the system?”
“Well, you do seem to get a lot of special attention from some important people.” Tygs said nastily.
“What are you implying?” I was angry now. I had never seen Antygra so hostile before.
“Maybe you want to talk about why a certain Grand Admiral is courting you?” he asked.
“You’re talking about Zaarin right?” I asked. “I don’t ask for his attentions, in fact I go out of my way to avoid them!”
“Why are there more?” he asked. Then added, “Oh that’s right you also like aliens as well… I guess you’d sleep with the damned whole High Command given half a chance!”
I didn’t even think about what I was doing as I shifted into a stance that made me ready to strike out at Antygra, but before I could even think about raising my hand to slap his face Shiv intervened, standing between me and Tygs. “Hey, this is supposed to be a celebration you two.”
Antygra looked at him and then to me and then said. “Well you know what? Suddenly I don’t feel like celebrating.” And with that he left.
I stared at Shiv and Ynyth for a few seconds unable to digest what had just happened.
“I’ll go talk to him. It’s not you, Merly, he’s just not himself lately.” Ynyth said and she hurried off to follow Tygs as he left the room.
Shiv sighed. “One of the HR people arrested was his girlfriend. He’s really pissed and he’s really worried about her. I tried to tell him you had nothing to do with it but somehow the rumour got started it was your fault and he needs someone to blame. I think his family is having a difficult time at the moment and he’s not handling any of it very well.”
I nodded trying to calm down. I had been a hair’s breadth away from hitting Tygs and I wasn’t happy about it. “Well he should be careful with the Rebellion talk. That kind of chatter could not only just get him arrested but shot for treason.” I sipped my drink and glanced around the room. “How long has he been this angry?”
Shiv shrugged. “Hard to say, been building a while I think. Things got really weird after the destruction of Alderaan but then he seemed to calm down and be okay. We all thought it was because he had family on Alderaan. He’s moody sometimes and he tends to go off when he gets stressed. He often complains about things just usually not like this, never in public and not about you. It’s just recently he’s been spouting a lot of negative stuff about the direction the Empire is going in. Don’t take it personally, Merly. He’s just going through a rough patch right now. I think he’s been listening to his uncle too much. Harkov doesn’t seem to have much love for his job right now either, I guess the two feed off one another’s moods. ”
“Admiral Harkov is Antygra’s uncle?” There had been rumblings about Harkov's allegances and Lord Vader was not pleased with him at all.
Shiv nodded. “Yeah, on his mother’s side but not many people know that. He doesn’t let that fact get around, scared people will think he got his job through nepotism.”
I just shook my head. “Well, I did not complain to anyone about HR or security. I would very much like to know who is starting these lies.”
“Maybe your Admiral friend mentioned something about it?”
I shook my head. “That’s not his style, Shiv. He tackles problems straight on and he would have talked to me about this first, I think.”
“I figured as much, but I wanted to be sure.” He said. “Safe to say someone on the inside doesn’t like you all that much.”
“That’s for sure.” I said quietly, thinking about the person who I had sensed with Jyrki when he was destroying my flat.
“Come on, let’s mingle before we get a reputation for being stuck up as well.” Shiv said.
“Too late for that for me I think.” I grumbled.
We walked through the chattering crowd; the excitement over the Executor’s unveiling made the room buzz. There was nothing like a huge party to celebrate a very big and expensive toy to put the Imperial world in the festive mood, but as I mingled and made small talk I could not help but think on Thrawn’s words and Antygra’s outburst. On the outside everything seemed shiny and wonderful but on the inside I began to think that maybe the Empire was starting to rot, just a little.
I came to stand at Lord Vader’s side, Shiv had been pulled into a conversation about palace décor and I escaped before I was asked my opinion about the newest fad which involved Gungans. I sipped at my drink and looked around. It occurred to me that in three years of working here I had not really gotten to know many people all that well but this thought did not make me sad.
“People seem impressed.” I told Lord Vader telepathically.
“As well they should.” He replied.
“How is your arm?” I asked.
Lord Vader looked at me sharply then went back to staring at the crowd. “One mechanical arm is much like the other. It functions as it is supposed to.” He told me.
I had been in the med lab when he had returned to have some of the mechanics fine tuned. Once Vader had left the room, the doctor had told me that Lord Vader’s arm had been severed on Mimban.
“Did it hurt?” I asked, curious to know if the artificial limbs were as real as they were supposed to be.
“Pain is irrelevant.” He told me. “But if you wish to learn more about it I can slice off your arm and have you fitted with a prosthetic one then amputate that one and that would answer your questions.”
“No thank you.”
“The artificial limbs are far stronger than flesh and bone.” He said. He thought he was being funny.
“I’m sure they are, my lord, but I am kind of attached to mine.” I said. He chuckled.
“Miss Gabriel, how lovely to see you again, you look well.” said a voice off to my side.
I turned to see Zaarin standing just behind me. “Thank you Grand Admiral Zaarin, as do you.”
“Come now, how many times must I ask you to call me Demetri?” He chided. “Surely you are not this formal with everyone all the time are you?”
“Miss Gabriel is a fountain of good manners, Zaarin, get used to it, it can be quite tedious and I think she does it just to annoy.” Lord Vader said much to my great surprise. If I didn’t know better I would have thought he was sticking up for me.
“She cannot be that annoying, Lord Vader, after all she still lives.” Zaarin said. I sucked in my breath.
“You could sever his arm and maybe that might shut him up.” I suggested to Lord Vader.
I was certain his response would have been fun but at that moment the Emperor made his way over to us and joined the conversation. I curtsied and Zaarin gave a crisp military bow.
“Merlyn, my dear, how delightful to see you here. You look as lovely as ever.” The Emperor said.
“Thank you, Excellency.”
“Zaarin, if you would be so kind as to convene the Council of Twelve in the small conference room, I believe we have matters to discuss.”
“As you wish, Excellency.” Zaarin said. “Miss Gabriel, Lord Vader always a pleasure.” And with that Zaarin vanished. He had been dismissed and he had not liked it much but he dared not argue with the Emperor. I was certain I was not the only one who had sensed his anger ripple about us.
The Emperor turned his eerie yellow eyed gaze back to me. “And you, my dear young lady, how are you feeling now?”
“I am well, thank you.” I said.
“I see you have recovered nicely from the terrible incident at the Bunduki Trials.” He continued. I felt the force ripple and shift about us as suddenly Lord Vader became more attentive.
“Yes, thank you. The medical staff performed miracles. Had it not been for their expertise I am quite sure I would be dead.”
“And that would have been most unfortunate.” The Emperor nodded. He paused a few seconds then added. “I must admit I was surprised to hear of what had happened and that you had survived. I did not think that such a pretty young thing as yourself had it in you to kill.”
The surge of sudden hatred I felt for this man was uncontrollable. Lord Vader looked at me as though I had kicked him and I was certain that I would be punished but instead the Emperor just gave a slow, low chuckle. “There, Vader, you see? There is hope for her yet.” He said softly. Vader returned his masked gaze back to his master but said nothing.
I just stared at the Emperor; for once my anger outweighed my fear. “Even the smallest wamp rat will tear its enemy apart when it’s cornered.” I hissed. I would have said more but Lord Vader’s sudden and very painful grip on my arm stopped me, reminding me that while maybe I could get away with a smart mouth with him, this was the Emperor and I was being disrespectful.
The Emperor waved a hand, ignoring my remark. Vader released my arm. “And what about your home, is everything back to order now? All the damage repaired and your belongings replaced. The break in must have been a dreadful shock for you?” he bantered lightly but there was something underneath his tone that told me nothing here was as it seemed.
Lord Vader’s head turned sharply to look at me once more. I hadn’t told him about the latest incident with Jyrki, I had just assumed he would learn about it. Obviously that was wrong.
“It was but I am starting to get used to these incidents.” I said, he ignored the barb and I continued. “Things are slowly getting back to normal. I appreciate all you have done for me.”
“And you have moved back or are you still under Admiral Thrawn’s protective custody?” He continued.
There was absolutely no keeping anything from the Emperor. I smiled. “No, I am back on my own now. It was very generous of the Admiral to allow me to use his spare room but I did not want to encroach on his personal space any more than I had to.”
The Emperor nodded. “It has been most gratifying to see him find solace and company at my court. I am certain that he enjoyed his time with you; I know he thinks quite highly of your artistic sensibilities. He has remarked you are quite knowledgeable in this area. ”
I blushed, hated myself for it and nodded. “The Admiral is very kind.” I said.
“Not at all, my dear.” He said, patting my arm. “Admiral Thrawn knows a good thing when he sees it. He has a remarkable eye for the more unique pieces in my collection. His ability to ascertain knowledge from the art he so carefully studies is most unusual. He is a most intriguing individual.”
I wasn’t sure what we were really talking about any more so I just nodded and smiled but a shudder ran down my spine.
“There will be a private exhibition of Ermall Bernau’s works coming up fairly soon, if I am not mistaken. I’ll make certain you receive an invitation; perhaps you might want to ask the Admiral to accompany you, I believe he is quite interested in the art of Bernau.”
I nodded, averting my eyes from his gaze. “You are most generous, Excellency. I shall do as you suggest.” I got the sense that it wasn’t really a suggestion.
“I shall look forward to seeing you both there then.” He smiled and then with a nod to Lord Vader he moved away to speak with some of his advisors who had come over to discuss something with him. The moment they had vanished into the crowd Lord Vader rounded on me but before he could say anything I spoke first telepathically. I didn't want anyone over hearing my conversation.
“Why does he toy with me?” I asked, getting straight to the point.
“Because he can, it amuses him. You amuse him.”
“Amuse him?”
“You are not the only one he tests in these ways. Be grateful that he shows such interest in you, it allows you much freedom.”
I had no idea how to reply to that. I wasn’t sure what it meant.
“Is that what killed your assistant before me, they didn’t interest the Emperor?”
“No, I killed them. They were inept at their job and they did not interest me.” He replied.
I just nodded and sipped at my lukewarm champagne.
“Explain to me what happened to your flat.” Lord Vader said after a moment’s pause.
I told him about the break in.
“Why was I not informed of this?”
“You were away and I don’t like to pester you with my problems.” I said. “You don’t like to be bothered with trivial details, you’ve told me that a dozen times.” Then added. “I thought you would hear about it from intel or something. It isn’t as if it’s a secret.”
“That my personal assistant is being stalked by a rebel sympathiser with force abilities is hardly trivial.” He admonished. “Next time something of this nature happens, I wish to be told immediately.” I wasn’t sure what had him more annoyed, the fact that Jyrki had managed to break in despite palace security or the fact that he had not been told about it.
“Your Bunduki master informs me that your shoulder is healing well, how is it now?” he asked abruptly changing the subject.
“Better.” I nodded.
“Good. I thought that you might be interested in learning how to use a lightsaber as a weapon. I tire of using combat staves to spar with you.”
I shivered. “I would need to find a lightsaber to use?”
“You told me your mother had left hers behind for you. You can use that.” He said.
“Did you tell the Emperor about that?”
“No, I do not bother my master with such trivial details.” he said tersely. “Just because you interest him does not mean you are important to him. Do not over value yourself.”
I just nodded and with that our conversation ended because several people required his presence and they did not want to speak in front of me. He flicked his hand at me and dutifully I moved away to mingle and maybe find Shiv.
As I meandered through the crowd and found my way through to the balcony I realised I was excited at the prospect of learning how to use a lightsaber which surprised me. I leaned against the balcony parapet and stared out at the city. The day had given way to evening; the lights from the buildings twinkled and lit up the Coruscant skyline. I listened to the sounds of the party behind me. The mindless chatter and underlying networking that went on at these functions drove me crazy. After three something years I still hadn’t figured it out.
“Are you as bored as you look?” a warm, familiar voice said in my ear. I smiled.
“I thought there was a big meeting going on.” I said answering Thrawn in his own language.
“The Council of Twelve is meeting, yes.” He said coming to stand at my side.
“Without you?”
He gave me a look. “I am not a Grand Admiral.” He said.
“Yet.” I said.
He nodded with a slight smile. “Yet.” He followed my gaze to look over the city. “You have not answered my question.”
I glanced at him. “Yes. I am absolutely every bit as bored as I look.” I told him. “I hate these functions and you know this.”
He nodded. “Well, you had a sneak preview of the main attraction so this wasn’t exactly a big surprise for you was it?” he said.
I looked up at him. “I suppose it would be very politically incorrect for me to ask you take me home with you?” I asked him.
“I think forward would be a better way of putting it.” He said casually.
I nibbled my pinkie absently.
“Is everything alright?” he asked.
I just shrugged. “This is the Empire. Nothing is ever alright.” I told him.
For a moment he just watched me in silence, debating whether or not to press me on why I was in such a pissy mood, and then said. “I have some things to finalise before I leave, I can come by your flat and pick you up if you wish, unless you want to stay here.” He paused. “Of course, the two of us leaving here together would add fuel to an already smouldering fire, if I heard some of the gossip mongering going on today correctly.”
“Would that bother you?”
He looked at me sharply. “Gossip is a useless waste of time usually it should simply be ignored but occasionally it has some particularly harmful side effects. I am thinking more of you and your friends. Did you not have a rather heated discussion with one of them, Antygra I think, earlier that was a result of some fairly nasty gossip?”
“You don’t miss much.” I snapped.
“Not when your shouting alerts everyone to a problem, no, then I do not miss much at all.” He chided gently. “You must learn to be more circumspect, my dear, in a world where every tiny piece of information can and will be used against you when given half a chance.”
I sighed.
“You could head over to the flat now; you do have your own key.” He reminded me.
I nodded. “Yes I do, I hadn’t forgotten, but…”
“But you do not feel comfortable with that just yet.”
I smiled and shook my head.
He nodded. “Very well, I should not be more than an hour. I’ll come by your place. Do try to stay out of trouble between now and then.” He said and then he left.
The Emperor had decided that the main ceremony would be held at the Imperial Palace, reinforcing the statement that this was the center of the galaxy and the seat of power, but holo-net cameras would show the ship’s unveiling from the undisclosed space dock where she had been for the past two days for cleaning and last minute repairs.
When it was time for the procession everyone was told to get into their places. I watched with some amusement as the people who were standing behind Lord Vader gave him a fairly wide berth. The only men who did not seem terribly concerned about being near him were Thrawn and Zaarin. Everyone looked amazing in their dress uniforms or finest clothes. The reception, after the speeches and actual unveiling, would be one for the largest and most extravagant in some time.
I, along with the others who had been privileged enough to join the before party but did not need to walk behind the Emperor and stand on the main dais made our way into the great hall and sat in chairs that had our names in very elegant cards on them. Shiv had arranged it so we sat together and I was grateful. Sometimes it really helped to know the person in charge of organising events.
The lights in the hall dimmed as the Emperor walked forward to address the waiting crowd. I could feel the excitement and tension ripple in the air. While for me the Executor was not a new toy, for most of the people attending this function and almost the rest of the galaxy watching the holonet, this would be their first glimpse of the Super Star Destroyer. No wonder they were all excited.
“Loyal citizens of the Empire I welcome you all here today, to this auspicious occasion.” The Emperor began, his eerie voice echoing through the silence that the crowd below gave him. There was a pause and people clapped and cheered. The Emperor made a slight hand gesture and the hall was once again silenced.
“For over twenty years now, the Empire has over seen peace and prosperity in this great galaxy and today we crown this achievement by unveiling the newest addition to our glorious Imperial fleet. With this new ship we shall be more so than ever have the ability to maintain law and order through out this galaxy, protecting its citizens and providing the military might against outside threats that might wish to harm the peace and harmony we have worked so hard to achieve. For the last six months this latest addition to the fleet has been tried and tested, put through the most rigorous of training exercises with the very best of men and women the Empire has to offer, so without further ado I give you the Super Star Destroyer Executor!”
The crowd went mad as they cheered and clapped all the while watching as a giant holonet projection suddenly displayed the space dock where the Executor was cradled. In a slow, languorous movement the dock released its clamps and the Executor began to move forward so that meter by meter the ship was revealed. Flanking the great ship were two standard sized ISD’s and the scale difference produced a collective gasp of stunned amazement from the audience watching.
When the giant ship was free from the space dock film crews on board smaller more agile ships began to show footage of the Executor from every angle possible. Even I was impressed with this show. When they were done showing the ship off from the outside a crew that had stationed inside switched their live feed on and we suddenly were shown the bridge of the ship.
Admiral Ozzel, Captain Piett and the rest of the bridge officers all stood smartly to attention in their dress uniforms while the holo feed panned around to show off the sheer size and scale of the ship’s command deck. The last image that was broadcast was the view from the forward windows and the response from the crowd in the hall said that this had done its job and the populace was suitably impressed enough to forget that not only had taxes been raised significantly in the last year to help pay for this but that shortly they would be raised again.
There were more speeches made by various other members of the High Command and Imperial Council and then we were allowed to make our way from the great hall to the room which housed the Grand ball for a very large, no expense spared reception that would turn into a party.
“Well, she’s impressive.” Shiv whispered in my ear as we meandered out of the hall like a herd of domestic banthas.
I nodded. “Yep. Lord Vader’s baby. I hope they don’t scratch the paint.”
That remark made Shiv laugh.
We were joined by Antygra and Ynyth when we entered the Ball room. Shiv snagged champagne glasses from a passing waiter and we all touched glasses together and toasted to the Empire.
“I have to ask,” Antygra said. “Why do we need such a huge ship? Surely she can’t be agile enough to go chasing down all the threats the Empire faces?”
“She’ll be used more as a space oriented command center.” I said. “But she’s more agile and faster than you might think.”
Antygra gave me a look. “Of course you would come to its defence.”
I looked at Shiv for an explanation to Antygra’s sudden animosity. He shrugged. “Tygs isn’t happy about this because the defence budget was given a huge increase but the budget for his department has been cut by thirty percent for the second year in a row.”
“I had to fire five of my people last month.” Tygs said. “You work for Vader, Merly, tell me is there really a need for all this fire power?”
I sipped my champagne. “Lord Vader doesn’t actually discuss such matters with me, but with the Rebellion doing all the damage that they have been doing, along with groups like JAN, not to mention the rise of pirates and smuggling I don’t know that I have a problem with it. The Executor makes it easier to co ordinate defence from space, the command center can travel to where it is needed most as opposed to being fixed on one planet. This makes it more secure. The Rebels are less likely to be able to find it and blow it up like they would a space station or even a planet.”
Shiv nodded. “That makes sense. I heard that the costs alone from the sabotage done by the Justice Action Network could fuel half the Imperial fleet for a year. If this new ship can help sort that mess out then it’s worth it.”
Ynyth nodded her agreement. “Yeah, I heard what they did to the Corusca Line Yacht and the undersea mono rail in retaliation for Earnst Kamiel’s execution. I think I agree with Merly and Shiv. Increased Imperial defence presence is a good thing.”
Tygs shook his head. “Tell that to my family. They’ve had to sell off half their property on Corellia in order to be able to cope with the tax hikes. It seems to me that if you are really rich you get all the breaks and if you are really poor no one cares but it’s the middle class who ends up paying for everything.” He sighed and then in a whisper added. “Sometimes I wonder if the rebels aren’t right.”
I just looked at him. “You should be very careful about what you say on that topic.” I said quietly.
“Why? Are you going to report me?” he asked a little nastily.
I opened my mouth to reply but Ynyth got there first. “Hey, Tygs, leave her alone she’s in the same boat we are.”
Tygs just gave me a look. “They arrested two people in HR because of you.” He told me. “One of them was a good friend of mine.”
“What!?”
He nodded.
I looked at Shiv and then back at Antygra. “Okay someone needs to explain this because it’s the first I’ve heard of it.”
Shiv sighed. “The word going around is that you complained about the lack of security and blame HR for someone busting into your flat.”
“That’s an outright lie!” I said my loudly enough that the people around us stopped talking and looked our way.
“Keep your voice down, Merly.” Shiv hissed.
I looked at Antygra. “First of all, I did not complain to anyone about a lack of security and secondly why would I blame HR for someone breaking into the flat? That’s a security problem not a human resources issue!”
“Well, rumour is you are still on the outs with Priss.” Shiv said.
I rolled my eyes. “Oh please, I care as much about her and what she thinks as I do about the spice mines of Kessel. The break in had nothing to do with HR and I certainly did not imply otherwise.”
“The HR people are all scared of you; they half expect you to send Vader down on them at a moment’s notice. You get special treatment from the Emperor and they don’t know what to make of that. I heard the Emperor himself commented on the break in.” Tygs said.
“He did, but I didn’t talk to him about it, in fact I was surprised he even knew.” I said. “Who is starting these rumours?”
Antygra shrugged. “I heard it from Bobbyn who said he was told by a guy down in security whose sister works in HR.”
I shook my head at the way the rumour mill worked. “I can’t believe you even listen to this stuff or that you think I would be like that!” he went to say something but I wasn’t finished yet. “I have family out on the Rim, and they suffer because of the tax hikes and the increased patrols as well. My father runs a docking bay and transport service for Sarlacc’s sake; do you think it’s easy for him? He doesn’t get any breaks because I work here, in fact if anything it’s made things worse.”
“So you don’t abuse your position and job to get what you want?” Tygs pressed and I could not believe the weird turn this conversation had taken.
“I don’t know what you mean by that. It’s not like working for Lord Vader is easy you know! Just how would I abuse it?”
“Well… some of us wonder how it is you do stay alive when everyone else who has worked closely with that monster ends up either dead or banished to some garrison in the middle of nowhere!” his argument was losing steam but I was getting annoyed with him.
“So doing my job well in order to stay alive means I am abusing the system?”
“Well, you do seem to get a lot of special attention from some important people.” Tygs said nastily.
“What are you implying?” I was angry now. I had never seen Antygra so hostile before.
“Maybe you want to talk about why a certain Grand Admiral is courting you?” he asked.
“You’re talking about Zaarin right?” I asked. “I don’t ask for his attentions, in fact I go out of my way to avoid them!”
“Why are there more?” he asked. Then added, “Oh that’s right you also like aliens as well… I guess you’d sleep with the damned whole High Command given half a chance!”
I didn’t even think about what I was doing as I shifted into a stance that made me ready to strike out at Antygra, but before I could even think about raising my hand to slap his face Shiv intervened, standing between me and Tygs. “Hey, this is supposed to be a celebration you two.”
Antygra looked at him and then to me and then said. “Well you know what? Suddenly I don’t feel like celebrating.” And with that he left.
I stared at Shiv and Ynyth for a few seconds unable to digest what had just happened.
“I’ll go talk to him. It’s not you, Merly, he’s just not himself lately.” Ynyth said and she hurried off to follow Tygs as he left the room.
Shiv sighed. “One of the HR people arrested was his girlfriend. He’s really pissed and he’s really worried about her. I tried to tell him you had nothing to do with it but somehow the rumour got started it was your fault and he needs someone to blame. I think his family is having a difficult time at the moment and he’s not handling any of it very well.”
I nodded trying to calm down. I had been a hair’s breadth away from hitting Tygs and I wasn’t happy about it. “Well he should be careful with the Rebellion talk. That kind of chatter could not only just get him arrested but shot for treason.” I sipped my drink and glanced around the room. “How long has he been this angry?”
Shiv shrugged. “Hard to say, been building a while I think. Things got really weird after the destruction of Alderaan but then he seemed to calm down and be okay. We all thought it was because he had family on Alderaan. He’s moody sometimes and he tends to go off when he gets stressed. He often complains about things just usually not like this, never in public and not about you. It’s just recently he’s been spouting a lot of negative stuff about the direction the Empire is going in. Don’t take it personally, Merly. He’s just going through a rough patch right now. I think he’s been listening to his uncle too much. Harkov doesn’t seem to have much love for his job right now either, I guess the two feed off one another’s moods. ”
“Admiral Harkov is Antygra’s uncle?” There had been rumblings about Harkov's allegances and Lord Vader was not pleased with him at all.
Shiv nodded. “Yeah, on his mother’s side but not many people know that. He doesn’t let that fact get around, scared people will think he got his job through nepotism.”
I just shook my head. “Well, I did not complain to anyone about HR or security. I would very much like to know who is starting these lies.”
“Maybe your Admiral friend mentioned something about it?”
I shook my head. “That’s not his style, Shiv. He tackles problems straight on and he would have talked to me about this first, I think.”
“I figured as much, but I wanted to be sure.” He said. “Safe to say someone on the inside doesn’t like you all that much.”
“That’s for sure.” I said quietly, thinking about the person who I had sensed with Jyrki when he was destroying my flat.
“Come on, let’s mingle before we get a reputation for being stuck up as well.” Shiv said.
“Too late for that for me I think.” I grumbled.
We walked through the chattering crowd; the excitement over the Executor’s unveiling made the room buzz. There was nothing like a huge party to celebrate a very big and expensive toy to put the Imperial world in the festive mood, but as I mingled and made small talk I could not help but think on Thrawn’s words and Antygra’s outburst. On the outside everything seemed shiny and wonderful but on the inside I began to think that maybe the Empire was starting to rot, just a little.
I came to stand at Lord Vader’s side, Shiv had been pulled into a conversation about palace décor and I escaped before I was asked my opinion about the newest fad which involved Gungans. I sipped at my drink and looked around. It occurred to me that in three years of working here I had not really gotten to know many people all that well but this thought did not make me sad.
“People seem impressed.” I told Lord Vader telepathically.
“As well they should.” He replied.
“How is your arm?” I asked.
Lord Vader looked at me sharply then went back to staring at the crowd. “One mechanical arm is much like the other. It functions as it is supposed to.” He told me.
I had been in the med lab when he had returned to have some of the mechanics fine tuned. Once Vader had left the room, the doctor had told me that Lord Vader’s arm had been severed on Mimban.
“Did it hurt?” I asked, curious to know if the artificial limbs were as real as they were supposed to be.
“Pain is irrelevant.” He told me. “But if you wish to learn more about it I can slice off your arm and have you fitted with a prosthetic one then amputate that one and that would answer your questions.”
“No thank you.”
“The artificial limbs are far stronger than flesh and bone.” He said. He thought he was being funny.
“I’m sure they are, my lord, but I am kind of attached to mine.” I said. He chuckled.
“Miss Gabriel, how lovely to see you again, you look well.” said a voice off to my side.
I turned to see Zaarin standing just behind me. “Thank you Grand Admiral Zaarin, as do you.”
“Come now, how many times must I ask you to call me Demetri?” He chided. “Surely you are not this formal with everyone all the time are you?”
“Miss Gabriel is a fountain of good manners, Zaarin, get used to it, it can be quite tedious and I think she does it just to annoy.” Lord Vader said much to my great surprise. If I didn’t know better I would have thought he was sticking up for me.
“She cannot be that annoying, Lord Vader, after all she still lives.” Zaarin said. I sucked in my breath.
“You could sever his arm and maybe that might shut him up.” I suggested to Lord Vader.
I was certain his response would have been fun but at that moment the Emperor made his way over to us and joined the conversation. I curtsied and Zaarin gave a crisp military bow.
“Merlyn, my dear, how delightful to see you here. You look as lovely as ever.” The Emperor said.
“Thank you, Excellency.”
“Zaarin, if you would be so kind as to convene the Council of Twelve in the small conference room, I believe we have matters to discuss.”
“As you wish, Excellency.” Zaarin said. “Miss Gabriel, Lord Vader always a pleasure.” And with that Zaarin vanished. He had been dismissed and he had not liked it much but he dared not argue with the Emperor. I was certain I was not the only one who had sensed his anger ripple about us.
The Emperor turned his eerie yellow eyed gaze back to me. “And you, my dear young lady, how are you feeling now?”
“I am well, thank you.” I said.
“I see you have recovered nicely from the terrible incident at the Bunduki Trials.” He continued. I felt the force ripple and shift about us as suddenly Lord Vader became more attentive.
“Yes, thank you. The medical staff performed miracles. Had it not been for their expertise I am quite sure I would be dead.”
“And that would have been most unfortunate.” The Emperor nodded. He paused a few seconds then added. “I must admit I was surprised to hear of what had happened and that you had survived. I did not think that such a pretty young thing as yourself had it in you to kill.”
The surge of sudden hatred I felt for this man was uncontrollable. Lord Vader looked at me as though I had kicked him and I was certain that I would be punished but instead the Emperor just gave a slow, low chuckle. “There, Vader, you see? There is hope for her yet.” He said softly. Vader returned his masked gaze back to his master but said nothing.
I just stared at the Emperor; for once my anger outweighed my fear. “Even the smallest wamp rat will tear its enemy apart when it’s cornered.” I hissed. I would have said more but Lord Vader’s sudden and very painful grip on my arm stopped me, reminding me that while maybe I could get away with a smart mouth with him, this was the Emperor and I was being disrespectful.
The Emperor waved a hand, ignoring my remark. Vader released my arm. “And what about your home, is everything back to order now? All the damage repaired and your belongings replaced. The break in must have been a dreadful shock for you?” he bantered lightly but there was something underneath his tone that told me nothing here was as it seemed.
Lord Vader’s head turned sharply to look at me once more. I hadn’t told him about the latest incident with Jyrki, I had just assumed he would learn about it. Obviously that was wrong.
“It was but I am starting to get used to these incidents.” I said, he ignored the barb and I continued. “Things are slowly getting back to normal. I appreciate all you have done for me.”
“And you have moved back or are you still under Admiral Thrawn’s protective custody?” He continued.
There was absolutely no keeping anything from the Emperor. I smiled. “No, I am back on my own now. It was very generous of the Admiral to allow me to use his spare room but I did not want to encroach on his personal space any more than I had to.”
The Emperor nodded. “It has been most gratifying to see him find solace and company at my court. I am certain that he enjoyed his time with you; I know he thinks quite highly of your artistic sensibilities. He has remarked you are quite knowledgeable in this area. ”
I blushed, hated myself for it and nodded. “The Admiral is very kind.” I said.
“Not at all, my dear.” He said, patting my arm. “Admiral Thrawn knows a good thing when he sees it. He has a remarkable eye for the more unique pieces in my collection. His ability to ascertain knowledge from the art he so carefully studies is most unusual. He is a most intriguing individual.”
I wasn’t sure what we were really talking about any more so I just nodded and smiled but a shudder ran down my spine.
“There will be a private exhibition of Ermall Bernau’s works coming up fairly soon, if I am not mistaken. I’ll make certain you receive an invitation; perhaps you might want to ask the Admiral to accompany you, I believe he is quite interested in the art of Bernau.”
I nodded, averting my eyes from his gaze. “You are most generous, Excellency. I shall do as you suggest.” I got the sense that it wasn’t really a suggestion.
“I shall look forward to seeing you both there then.” He smiled and then with a nod to Lord Vader he moved away to speak with some of his advisors who had come over to discuss something with him. The moment they had vanished into the crowd Lord Vader rounded on me but before he could say anything I spoke first telepathically. I didn't want anyone over hearing my conversation.
“Why does he toy with me?” I asked, getting straight to the point.
“Because he can, it amuses him. You amuse him.”
“Amuse him?”
“You are not the only one he tests in these ways. Be grateful that he shows such interest in you, it allows you much freedom.”
I had no idea how to reply to that. I wasn’t sure what it meant.
“Is that what killed your assistant before me, they didn’t interest the Emperor?”
“No, I killed them. They were inept at their job and they did not interest me.” He replied.
I just nodded and sipped at my lukewarm champagne.
“Explain to me what happened to your flat.” Lord Vader said after a moment’s pause.
I told him about the break in.
“Why was I not informed of this?”
“You were away and I don’t like to pester you with my problems.” I said. “You don’t like to be bothered with trivial details, you’ve told me that a dozen times.” Then added. “I thought you would hear about it from intel or something. It isn’t as if it’s a secret.”
“That my personal assistant is being stalked by a rebel sympathiser with force abilities is hardly trivial.” He admonished. “Next time something of this nature happens, I wish to be told immediately.” I wasn’t sure what had him more annoyed, the fact that Jyrki had managed to break in despite palace security or the fact that he had not been told about it.
“Your Bunduki master informs me that your shoulder is healing well, how is it now?” he asked abruptly changing the subject.
“Better.” I nodded.
“Good. I thought that you might be interested in learning how to use a lightsaber as a weapon. I tire of using combat staves to spar with you.”
I shivered. “I would need to find a lightsaber to use?”
“You told me your mother had left hers behind for you. You can use that.” He said.
“Did you tell the Emperor about that?”
“No, I do not bother my master with such trivial details.” he said tersely. “Just because you interest him does not mean you are important to him. Do not over value yourself.”
I just nodded and with that our conversation ended because several people required his presence and they did not want to speak in front of me. He flicked his hand at me and dutifully I moved away to mingle and maybe find Shiv.
As I meandered through the crowd and found my way through to the balcony I realised I was excited at the prospect of learning how to use a lightsaber which surprised me. I leaned against the balcony parapet and stared out at the city. The day had given way to evening; the lights from the buildings twinkled and lit up the Coruscant skyline. I listened to the sounds of the party behind me. The mindless chatter and underlying networking that went on at these functions drove me crazy. After three something years I still hadn’t figured it out.
“Are you as bored as you look?” a warm, familiar voice said in my ear. I smiled.
“I thought there was a big meeting going on.” I said answering Thrawn in his own language.
“The Council of Twelve is meeting, yes.” He said coming to stand at my side.
“Without you?”
He gave me a look. “I am not a Grand Admiral.” He said.
“Yet.” I said.
He nodded with a slight smile. “Yet.” He followed my gaze to look over the city. “You have not answered my question.”
I glanced at him. “Yes. I am absolutely every bit as bored as I look.” I told him. “I hate these functions and you know this.”
He nodded. “Well, you had a sneak preview of the main attraction so this wasn’t exactly a big surprise for you was it?” he said.
I looked up at him. “I suppose it would be very politically incorrect for me to ask you take me home with you?” I asked him.
“I think forward would be a better way of putting it.” He said casually.
I nibbled my pinkie absently.
“Is everything alright?” he asked.
I just shrugged. “This is the Empire. Nothing is ever alright.” I told him.
For a moment he just watched me in silence, debating whether or not to press me on why I was in such a pissy mood, and then said. “I have some things to finalise before I leave, I can come by your flat and pick you up if you wish, unless you want to stay here.” He paused. “Of course, the two of us leaving here together would add fuel to an already smouldering fire, if I heard some of the gossip mongering going on today correctly.”
“Would that bother you?”
He looked at me sharply. “Gossip is a useless waste of time usually it should simply be ignored but occasionally it has some particularly harmful side effects. I am thinking more of you and your friends. Did you not have a rather heated discussion with one of them, Antygra I think, earlier that was a result of some fairly nasty gossip?”
“You don’t miss much.” I snapped.
“Not when your shouting alerts everyone to a problem, no, then I do not miss much at all.” He chided gently. “You must learn to be more circumspect, my dear, in a world where every tiny piece of information can and will be used against you when given half a chance.”
I sighed.
“You could head over to the flat now; you do have your own key.” He reminded me.
I nodded. “Yes I do, I hadn’t forgotten, but…”
“But you do not feel comfortable with that just yet.”
I smiled and shook my head.
He nodded. “Very well, I should not be more than an hour. I’ll come by your place. Do try to stay out of trouble between now and then.” He said and then he left.
19.6.06
The Bitter Twist of Dark 9
It was strange to be back in my own flat. The furniture that Jyrki had destroyed had been replaced and security in this part of the palace had been increased, although not by much. I had spent the afternoon with Shiv clothes shopping, an hour of which had been spent at Cati’s. She had been both stunned and delighted at my predicament. Shocked at the destruction of her creations and pleased that she got replace my entire formal and semi formal dress wardrobe with her latest designs and creations. She had not wanted to redo the same designs as I had before but there were two dresses I begged her for and after considerable whining on my part and a ‘please for the love of peace do as she asks’ look from Shiv she relented. The order was huge and would take her several weeks to complete. But she had promised not only to have a dress ready for the unveiling of the Executor but also to have my favourite dress redone in time for Winter Fete and for that I had hugged her.
After our visit to Cati we had gone to Bam’s hair salon. Bam was horrified when he saw me but in difference to the first time we had met I did not threaten to break his fingers when he played with my hair, I just let him work his magic on it. When we were done for the day, we polished off the afternoon by having afternoon coffee and desert in our favourite café.
As I had expected, Shiv gave me the third degree.
“So what was all that about at Cati’s?” he asked. “You tell her your secrets but not me? I’m hurt, Rim Girl!”
I made a face and stifled a yawn. Cati had asked me how my ‘gentleman’ was and I had blushed enough while answering to raise some eyebrows.
She had grinned and simply said. “Glad to know all is well in your love life, at least.”
Shiv had watched this back and forth with great interest but wisely had kept his mouth shut. Now we were alone in the café he wasn’t so circumspect.
“It’s not a secret to you that I am spending time with him.” I told him.
Shiv had given me the hairy eyeball. “I guess I wasn’t aware of just how close you two were becoming. You usually do a much better job of hiding how you feel.” I had just made a face and he had laughed. “Don’t worry, Rim-Girl, your secret is safe with me. Just don’t advertise it to the rest of the court.” He said. “Your Admiral doesn’t make a lot of friends even if he has the Emperor’s ear and favour. I am quite certain that Rufaan Tigellinus would leap at the chance to have Thrawn disgraced somehow, I would hate to see him use you for that.”
I nodded. “That wasn’t my plan.” I said.
Shiv made a face. “You don’t plan for anything, Merly, that’s your trouble.” He said.
I just sighed. “I know that, but Shiv how does one plan for working for Lord Vader and everything that goes along with it?”
That had made him laugh. “I don’t know.” He said. “It’s a miracle you are still alive!”
“More than you will ever know.” I said quietly.
He just shook his head and the topic moved on to more mundane things.
Once I was back in my flat, surrounded by new furniture and new clothes I wondered about Shiv’s comment on my not planning anything. It was hard enough trying to keep up with Lord Vader and his ever changing schedule let alone trying to sort out my own life. I was grateful to be free of the shoulder torture device. The small sling was a lot easier to deal with and the latest bacta injections had made a huge difference. I used the dermal patches the doctor had given me for the pain and did the exercises Master Kjestyll had given me as home work. My latest check up had shown I was healing well enough which was a good thing because I was certain the doctor was getting tired of seeing me. As I put away my new clothes, I wondered about what was driving Jyrki to do these things to me. Thinking about him led me to think about the Jedi Temple. I had left the box of my treasures at Thrawn’s, under the bed in his spare room. It was the only thing I had not taken back with me when I returned to my flat. I didn’t want the holocrons or Thrawn’s letters to me in a place that wasn’t secure. After putting everything away I sat in the living room with a cup of tea. It was true, I didn’t plan anything. Shiv was right.
Sitting was not the answer and before I gave myself a chance to consider what I was doing I changed into clothes easy to move in, grabbed my satchel and flashlight and was out of my flat. I thought about Shiv’s words as I made my way through the empty hallways to the little library which was quiet. I switched on just the side wall lights and locked the door behind me. The bookshelf that covered the secret passage had not been moved and it took every ounce of my strength and a bit of force push to shift it enough that I could slip behind it through the panel that slid opened when I activated the lock. For the longest time I just stared at the pitch black hole and then taking a deep breath I stepped through it, shutting the panel behind me.
The journey through the tunnel, under the city to the Temple seemed longer this time, probably because I was on my own. There were moments when I could feel panic rise but I fought it. When I reached the other end I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I opened the door and slipped back into the only place my uncle had ever told me to stay away from.
The temple was eerie and silent. I didn’t stop to explore as I made my way back to the main library. I was grateful for my perfect sense of direction. It didn’t take me long to reach the great archive room. I stood in the great hallway and looked around at the endless rows of data, holo books and files. If there were ghosts around then they were staying out of sight.
In the holocron diary my birth mother had mentioned the archives many times. She spoke of the head librarian, Jocasta Nu with a comical mixture of awe and fear. She had also mentioned the data terminals that stored all the indexes and help files. It didn’t take me long to find one and I jumped with fight when it activated under the touch of my hand. For the next hour I spent utterly immersed in learning how to use the antique system. Once I had figured out how the index worked the rest was a lot easier. I wanted to find Jyrki in the system but personal records were under classified files and I had not figured out how to slice through the security. I wasn’t even sure I could. I was able to find a full map of the temple, which surprisingly enough gave a listing of who lived where. My heart leaped in my chest when I saw Akali L’uanna’s name pop up. I memorised how to find her room and then went back to my search for Jyrki. Eventually, I found him but it hadn’t been easy. While he had kept his first name his last name was different. I was glad there had been an image of him as well. There had been no mistaking those blue eyes. He had shared a dorm room with three other boys. I figured out how to get there and without considering anything else, that’s where I went.
The Temple was huge. Next to the Imperial Palace it was the largest building I had ever been in. I could not imagine it during the light of day, filled with people and I was a little sad that I would never know it in this way. Being careful about what I touched, I made my way through the halls and up the stairs to find the dorm room where Jyrki had slept. Many beings had been killed here but there were no bodies. I wondered what had become of them. It had only been twenty three or so years since the massacre here, if the dead had been left where they had been slain, the remains would still be around. Another mystery that would probably never be answered.
The living quarters in the Temple were sparse but spacious. My birth mother had often talked about the lack of possessions that a Jedi owned and it showed in how they had lived. I found the room easily and walked through the door when it opened. I shone the torch and looked around. There were four beds, four dressers, four small desks and one large closet. I took a deep breath and stepped into the room. My heart pounded in my chest but I refused to let my fear to get the best of me. I found my center as I had been taught so many times to do and began to touch the furniture.
The memories were scattered and fractured. I had trouble sorting them out. Pictures of children I didn’t know flashed through my head, laughter and tears echoed in my mind as though they were real.
The third bed was where Jyrki had slept. I don’t know if it was my connection to him or that I was in tune with him but the visions that I saw where powerful and vivid. I sighed when the images released me. I began to open drawers and look through them. His clothes were still there, all that he had owned still sat in the drawers. It reminded me that the people who had lived here had not left willingly; they had been killed quickly and violently. The beds had not been made and it there was s strange sense in the room as though the boys might return at any moment. I pulled out some of the clothes and looked at them. They were small tunics, reminding me that he had been a little boy when all hell had broken loose here. Some of the things I touched gave up memories and some did not. In the space of half an hour I had learned more about Jyrki from his past than I had in all the time I had known him in person.
He had been a quiet, wilful boy. He was not the instigator in some of the pranks that were played but he went along with them. He had not laughed much, even as a small boy and that made me sad but I didn’t know why.
In the small desk drawer I found a lightsaber. I touched it but it did not give up any particular memories. The weapon was generic; Jyrki had not made it he had only used it for practice. I took it out and looked at it. I had seen Lord Vader use his often enough that I knew how to turn it on. The instant hum of the brilliant blue blade gave me a start and I dropped it. The blade vanished instantly. A safety mechanism turned it off the moment I let it go. I picked it up off the floor and studied it closely then tucked it in my satchel. I had not wanted to touch or keep the one my mother had sent to me, but this one was nothing more than a weapon. I thought it might be of use.
I searched further but found nothing else. I guessed that even as small children the Jedi initiates took the rules seriously and did not keep any personal possessions. I was about to turn away when I thought about this for a moment. Maybe Jedi younglings were brought up to believe in no possessions and no attachments but that was not how children were. I sat on the bed for a moment and tried to think where I would hide my precious things if I were forbidden to have them.
I looked under the bed. I looked under the bed’s mattress. I went through the clothes drawers again, emptying them out, looking for false bottoms and hidden compartments. Nothing. I went back to the desk and began to search through it. My fingers found what they were looking for.
The false back on the small bottom drawer had been cleverly designed. The memory showed me Jyrki making it in the quiet hours of the dark. I saw him put it together and the vision showed me how to unlock it. The soft click was rewarding and I pulled the tiny secret box out of its hiding place. It buzzed in my hand and I opened it cautiously.
He had lined this small box with a soft swatch of fabric. Lying in this cloth were two things. One was a simple ring, a man’s wedding band and the other was a pendant. The locket opened up to show a tiny holo-image of a young couple holding a baby and a lock of dark black hair. I wrapped these items up in the small cloth and slipped them in my bag. They had secrets they wanted to give up. I had not touched the wedding band and the locket had not been locked shut. Underneath the cloth at the bottom of the tiny box was a very small holo-transmitter. The kind used to send short messages. I didn’t activate it. I just slipped in long with the other treasures into my satchel.
I tried to put the things I had disturbed back the way I had found them and when I was satisfied that at least on first glance no one would know anyone had been here I left.
I had no idea how much time had passed or how late it was. I wasn’t tired but I was suddenly aware of where I was and what had happened here. The over powering sense of evil that I had felt the last time was not present but a slow sense of unease began to creep into me. A niggling itch between my shoulder blades that made me feel as though I was being observed.
I made my way back into the great library and went to stand in front of the door to the room where uncle Vahlek had found the holocrons from my mother but something whispered through me not to push my luck. With a sigh I made my way back to the safety of the Imperial Palace and my library.
I didn’t bother to move the bookshelf back into place instead I shifted it as much as I could to the right of the passage and then back against the wall. At least this way it looked as though it belonged. When I closed the panel that hid the entrance to the tunnel I was relieved to see it was invisible. I left the library quietly and made my way back to my flat ignoring the sensation of being watched.
I sat down on the couch and emptied the contents of the satchel. It was the holo transmitter I wanted to see. It sat in the palm of my hand and I activated it. The image of an older man appeared.
*** You don’t know me son, but I am your grandfather. I don’t know if this message will reach you or not but I have to hope it does. I have terrible news for you. Your parents are dead. They were killed two days ago when their ship was mistaken for a separatist’s vessel and was shot down by the Republican army. They missed you so very much, Jyrki. Not a day went by where your mother did not think of you, hope for you and pray for you.
You were just a baby when the Jedi came to take you to the Temple. They said you were strong in the force, that one of their people had sensed your powers. Your family did not want to give you up but the Jedi said it was for the best. I will never believe that. I have tried a few times to come and find you but I have not been able to and so I am sending you these things, your parents would have wanted you to have them. The locket was your mothers, it has a hologram of you all together a day after you were born. I took the image and gave her the necklace, a gift to commemorate my daughter’s child. The ring was your father’s wedding band, he had taken it off before the flight because his fingers always got swollen in space and it was in the jewellery box with the locket. I know that you will have no memories of these people but they created you and brought you into the galaxy. They loved you and they were your family.
I have found a man who says he can locate you and get these items to you without raising suspicion. His name is Akosh and you will know him by his white hair. He will know how to get in touch with me should you ever need my help. I am the only living family you have left now and you are mine, I would very much like to hear from you, son. ***
My hand shook. My uncle Vahlek had delivered this message to Jyrki. I tried to think back about all the conversations I had ever had with my uncle about Jyrki. I was certain that I had never asked him if they had met before.
I picked up the locket and clasped it in my hand. There were sharp memories of Jyrki’s grandfather giving to his mother. She wept tears of joy when he had placed it around her neck, but it was the second set of images that really jolted me. It was of my uncle, looking much younger, talking to a very small boy with ice blue eyes, handing him a small package and telling him to keep it very secret. Then my uncle had handed Jyrki something else and had told the small boy that should he ever need help he was to use the tiny transmitter.
“Why are you doing this, sir?” Jyrki had asked.
“I owe your grandfather a favour.” Uncle Vahlek had told him, laying his hand gently upon the boy’s head and then he had vanished leaving Jyrki to ponder the carefully wrapped items he held in his small hand.
I dropped the locket down as though it had stung me. My uncle had known Jyrki and he had said nothing to me about it. Why? I was surprised at how angry I was and with a very deep breath swallowed it down. I picked up the wedding ring and was overwhelmed by memories of a happy marriage. There was nothing special in the information the ring had to share, just that Jyrki looked a lot like his mother but he had his father’s eyes. I knew, as I sat in my living room alone and wound up that I would have to go back into the Temple and find Jyrki’s records, find out where he had come from and who his parents had been. I wondered if his grandfather still lived, though I doubted it. Most of all I wanted to know what uncle Vahlek’s connection to all of this was.
I picked up the lightsaber again and studied it closely. It was an elegant weapon. Not clumsy or awkward like pistols and blasters. It had the feel of a combat stave or sword but with a far more deadly blade. I had watched Lord Vader often enough to know just how deadly a lightsaber was. I sighed and picked up everything I had found, tucked them all away in the small satchel and hid it in my hidey hole in the bedroom. It was very late and I was tired. I got myself ready for bed and was grateful to crawl under the covers. However, instead of falling asleep like I really wanted to, I lay there awake feeling very alone and troubled. Every noise, every creak, every strange sound made me aware that I was sleeping in a flat which had recently been broken into and vandalized by a man intent on hunting me. Pride had made me insist to Thrawn that I would be fine. He had given me a look that I had not been able to decipher but had said nothing. I wanted to live my life in my own place but I was regretting this now. I missed his presence and his warmth next to me and puzzled over how I could have gotten used to that so quickly. I also missed the security that his being there gave me. For the first time in as long as I could remember I was truly scared to sleep in my own bed. I would not make this mistake again.
In the end, after an hour of tossing and turning I got up and fetched the lightsaber out of the satchel from the secret place. Only then, holding it in my hand, under the extra pillow did I fall into a restless, listless sleep. It never occurred to me that this was probably not the smartest move in the universe and that I could have accidentally turned it on while I was sleeping and sliced my head off.
After our visit to Cati we had gone to Bam’s hair salon. Bam was horrified when he saw me but in difference to the first time we had met I did not threaten to break his fingers when he played with my hair, I just let him work his magic on it. When we were done for the day, we polished off the afternoon by having afternoon coffee and desert in our favourite café.
As I had expected, Shiv gave me the third degree.
“So what was all that about at Cati’s?” he asked. “You tell her your secrets but not me? I’m hurt, Rim Girl!”
I made a face and stifled a yawn. Cati had asked me how my ‘gentleman’ was and I had blushed enough while answering to raise some eyebrows.
She had grinned and simply said. “Glad to know all is well in your love life, at least.”
Shiv had watched this back and forth with great interest but wisely had kept his mouth shut. Now we were alone in the café he wasn’t so circumspect.
“It’s not a secret to you that I am spending time with him.” I told him.
Shiv had given me the hairy eyeball. “I guess I wasn’t aware of just how close you two were becoming. You usually do a much better job of hiding how you feel.” I had just made a face and he had laughed. “Don’t worry, Rim-Girl, your secret is safe with me. Just don’t advertise it to the rest of the court.” He said. “Your Admiral doesn’t make a lot of friends even if he has the Emperor’s ear and favour. I am quite certain that Rufaan Tigellinus would leap at the chance to have Thrawn disgraced somehow, I would hate to see him use you for that.”
I nodded. “That wasn’t my plan.” I said.
Shiv made a face. “You don’t plan for anything, Merly, that’s your trouble.” He said.
I just sighed. “I know that, but Shiv how does one plan for working for Lord Vader and everything that goes along with it?”
That had made him laugh. “I don’t know.” He said. “It’s a miracle you are still alive!”
“More than you will ever know.” I said quietly.
He just shook his head and the topic moved on to more mundane things.
Once I was back in my flat, surrounded by new furniture and new clothes I wondered about Shiv’s comment on my not planning anything. It was hard enough trying to keep up with Lord Vader and his ever changing schedule let alone trying to sort out my own life. I was grateful to be free of the shoulder torture device. The small sling was a lot easier to deal with and the latest bacta injections had made a huge difference. I used the dermal patches the doctor had given me for the pain and did the exercises Master Kjestyll had given me as home work. My latest check up had shown I was healing well enough which was a good thing because I was certain the doctor was getting tired of seeing me. As I put away my new clothes, I wondered about what was driving Jyrki to do these things to me. Thinking about him led me to think about the Jedi Temple. I had left the box of my treasures at Thrawn’s, under the bed in his spare room. It was the only thing I had not taken back with me when I returned to my flat. I didn’t want the holocrons or Thrawn’s letters to me in a place that wasn’t secure. After putting everything away I sat in the living room with a cup of tea. It was true, I didn’t plan anything. Shiv was right.
Sitting was not the answer and before I gave myself a chance to consider what I was doing I changed into clothes easy to move in, grabbed my satchel and flashlight and was out of my flat. I thought about Shiv’s words as I made my way through the empty hallways to the little library which was quiet. I switched on just the side wall lights and locked the door behind me. The bookshelf that covered the secret passage had not been moved and it took every ounce of my strength and a bit of force push to shift it enough that I could slip behind it through the panel that slid opened when I activated the lock. For the longest time I just stared at the pitch black hole and then taking a deep breath I stepped through it, shutting the panel behind me.
The journey through the tunnel, under the city to the Temple seemed longer this time, probably because I was on my own. There were moments when I could feel panic rise but I fought it. When I reached the other end I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I opened the door and slipped back into the only place my uncle had ever told me to stay away from.
The temple was eerie and silent. I didn’t stop to explore as I made my way back to the main library. I was grateful for my perfect sense of direction. It didn’t take me long to reach the great archive room. I stood in the great hallway and looked around at the endless rows of data, holo books and files. If there were ghosts around then they were staying out of sight.
In the holocron diary my birth mother had mentioned the archives many times. She spoke of the head librarian, Jocasta Nu with a comical mixture of awe and fear. She had also mentioned the data terminals that stored all the indexes and help files. It didn’t take me long to find one and I jumped with fight when it activated under the touch of my hand. For the next hour I spent utterly immersed in learning how to use the antique system. Once I had figured out how the index worked the rest was a lot easier. I wanted to find Jyrki in the system but personal records were under classified files and I had not figured out how to slice through the security. I wasn’t even sure I could. I was able to find a full map of the temple, which surprisingly enough gave a listing of who lived where. My heart leaped in my chest when I saw Akali L’uanna’s name pop up. I memorised how to find her room and then went back to my search for Jyrki. Eventually, I found him but it hadn’t been easy. While he had kept his first name his last name was different. I was glad there had been an image of him as well. There had been no mistaking those blue eyes. He had shared a dorm room with three other boys. I figured out how to get there and without considering anything else, that’s where I went.
The Temple was huge. Next to the Imperial Palace it was the largest building I had ever been in. I could not imagine it during the light of day, filled with people and I was a little sad that I would never know it in this way. Being careful about what I touched, I made my way through the halls and up the stairs to find the dorm room where Jyrki had slept. Many beings had been killed here but there were no bodies. I wondered what had become of them. It had only been twenty three or so years since the massacre here, if the dead had been left where they had been slain, the remains would still be around. Another mystery that would probably never be answered.
The living quarters in the Temple were sparse but spacious. My birth mother had often talked about the lack of possessions that a Jedi owned and it showed in how they had lived. I found the room easily and walked through the door when it opened. I shone the torch and looked around. There were four beds, four dressers, four small desks and one large closet. I took a deep breath and stepped into the room. My heart pounded in my chest but I refused to let my fear to get the best of me. I found my center as I had been taught so many times to do and began to touch the furniture.
The memories were scattered and fractured. I had trouble sorting them out. Pictures of children I didn’t know flashed through my head, laughter and tears echoed in my mind as though they were real.
The third bed was where Jyrki had slept. I don’t know if it was my connection to him or that I was in tune with him but the visions that I saw where powerful and vivid. I sighed when the images released me. I began to open drawers and look through them. His clothes were still there, all that he had owned still sat in the drawers. It reminded me that the people who had lived here had not left willingly; they had been killed quickly and violently. The beds had not been made and it there was s strange sense in the room as though the boys might return at any moment. I pulled out some of the clothes and looked at them. They were small tunics, reminding me that he had been a little boy when all hell had broken loose here. Some of the things I touched gave up memories and some did not. In the space of half an hour I had learned more about Jyrki from his past than I had in all the time I had known him in person.
He had been a quiet, wilful boy. He was not the instigator in some of the pranks that were played but he went along with them. He had not laughed much, even as a small boy and that made me sad but I didn’t know why.
In the small desk drawer I found a lightsaber. I touched it but it did not give up any particular memories. The weapon was generic; Jyrki had not made it he had only used it for practice. I took it out and looked at it. I had seen Lord Vader use his often enough that I knew how to turn it on. The instant hum of the brilliant blue blade gave me a start and I dropped it. The blade vanished instantly. A safety mechanism turned it off the moment I let it go. I picked it up off the floor and studied it closely then tucked it in my satchel. I had not wanted to touch or keep the one my mother had sent to me, but this one was nothing more than a weapon. I thought it might be of use.
I searched further but found nothing else. I guessed that even as small children the Jedi initiates took the rules seriously and did not keep any personal possessions. I was about to turn away when I thought about this for a moment. Maybe Jedi younglings were brought up to believe in no possessions and no attachments but that was not how children were. I sat on the bed for a moment and tried to think where I would hide my precious things if I were forbidden to have them.
I looked under the bed. I looked under the bed’s mattress. I went through the clothes drawers again, emptying them out, looking for false bottoms and hidden compartments. Nothing. I went back to the desk and began to search through it. My fingers found what they were looking for.
The false back on the small bottom drawer had been cleverly designed. The memory showed me Jyrki making it in the quiet hours of the dark. I saw him put it together and the vision showed me how to unlock it. The soft click was rewarding and I pulled the tiny secret box out of its hiding place. It buzzed in my hand and I opened it cautiously.
He had lined this small box with a soft swatch of fabric. Lying in this cloth were two things. One was a simple ring, a man’s wedding band and the other was a pendant. The locket opened up to show a tiny holo-image of a young couple holding a baby and a lock of dark black hair. I wrapped these items up in the small cloth and slipped them in my bag. They had secrets they wanted to give up. I had not touched the wedding band and the locket had not been locked shut. Underneath the cloth at the bottom of the tiny box was a very small holo-transmitter. The kind used to send short messages. I didn’t activate it. I just slipped in long with the other treasures into my satchel.
I tried to put the things I had disturbed back the way I had found them and when I was satisfied that at least on first glance no one would know anyone had been here I left.
I had no idea how much time had passed or how late it was. I wasn’t tired but I was suddenly aware of where I was and what had happened here. The over powering sense of evil that I had felt the last time was not present but a slow sense of unease began to creep into me. A niggling itch between my shoulder blades that made me feel as though I was being observed.
I made my way back into the great library and went to stand in front of the door to the room where uncle Vahlek had found the holocrons from my mother but something whispered through me not to push my luck. With a sigh I made my way back to the safety of the Imperial Palace and my library.
I didn’t bother to move the bookshelf back into place instead I shifted it as much as I could to the right of the passage and then back against the wall. At least this way it looked as though it belonged. When I closed the panel that hid the entrance to the tunnel I was relieved to see it was invisible. I left the library quietly and made my way back to my flat ignoring the sensation of being watched.
I sat down on the couch and emptied the contents of the satchel. It was the holo transmitter I wanted to see. It sat in the palm of my hand and I activated it. The image of an older man appeared.
*** You don’t know me son, but I am your grandfather. I don’t know if this message will reach you or not but I have to hope it does. I have terrible news for you. Your parents are dead. They were killed two days ago when their ship was mistaken for a separatist’s vessel and was shot down by the Republican army. They missed you so very much, Jyrki. Not a day went by where your mother did not think of you, hope for you and pray for you.
You were just a baby when the Jedi came to take you to the Temple. They said you were strong in the force, that one of their people had sensed your powers. Your family did not want to give you up but the Jedi said it was for the best. I will never believe that. I have tried a few times to come and find you but I have not been able to and so I am sending you these things, your parents would have wanted you to have them. The locket was your mothers, it has a hologram of you all together a day after you were born. I took the image and gave her the necklace, a gift to commemorate my daughter’s child. The ring was your father’s wedding band, he had taken it off before the flight because his fingers always got swollen in space and it was in the jewellery box with the locket. I know that you will have no memories of these people but they created you and brought you into the galaxy. They loved you and they were your family.
I have found a man who says he can locate you and get these items to you without raising suspicion. His name is Akosh and you will know him by his white hair. He will know how to get in touch with me should you ever need my help. I am the only living family you have left now and you are mine, I would very much like to hear from you, son. ***
My hand shook. My uncle Vahlek had delivered this message to Jyrki. I tried to think back about all the conversations I had ever had with my uncle about Jyrki. I was certain that I had never asked him if they had met before.
I picked up the locket and clasped it in my hand. There were sharp memories of Jyrki’s grandfather giving to his mother. She wept tears of joy when he had placed it around her neck, but it was the second set of images that really jolted me. It was of my uncle, looking much younger, talking to a very small boy with ice blue eyes, handing him a small package and telling him to keep it very secret. Then my uncle had handed Jyrki something else and had told the small boy that should he ever need help he was to use the tiny transmitter.
“Why are you doing this, sir?” Jyrki had asked.
“I owe your grandfather a favour.” Uncle Vahlek had told him, laying his hand gently upon the boy’s head and then he had vanished leaving Jyrki to ponder the carefully wrapped items he held in his small hand.
I dropped the locket down as though it had stung me. My uncle had known Jyrki and he had said nothing to me about it. Why? I was surprised at how angry I was and with a very deep breath swallowed it down. I picked up the wedding ring and was overwhelmed by memories of a happy marriage. There was nothing special in the information the ring had to share, just that Jyrki looked a lot like his mother but he had his father’s eyes. I knew, as I sat in my living room alone and wound up that I would have to go back into the Temple and find Jyrki’s records, find out where he had come from and who his parents had been. I wondered if his grandfather still lived, though I doubted it. Most of all I wanted to know what uncle Vahlek’s connection to all of this was.
I picked up the lightsaber again and studied it closely. It was an elegant weapon. Not clumsy or awkward like pistols and blasters. It had the feel of a combat stave or sword but with a far more deadly blade. I had watched Lord Vader often enough to know just how deadly a lightsaber was. I sighed and picked up everything I had found, tucked them all away in the small satchel and hid it in my hidey hole in the bedroom. It was very late and I was tired. I got myself ready for bed and was grateful to crawl under the covers. However, instead of falling asleep like I really wanted to, I lay there awake feeling very alone and troubled. Every noise, every creak, every strange sound made me aware that I was sleeping in a flat which had recently been broken into and vandalized by a man intent on hunting me. Pride had made me insist to Thrawn that I would be fine. He had given me a look that I had not been able to decipher but had said nothing. I wanted to live my life in my own place but I was regretting this now. I missed his presence and his warmth next to me and puzzled over how I could have gotten used to that so quickly. I also missed the security that his being there gave me. For the first time in as long as I could remember I was truly scared to sleep in my own bed. I would not make this mistake again.
In the end, after an hour of tossing and turning I got up and fetched the lightsaber out of the satchel from the secret place. Only then, holding it in my hand, under the extra pillow did I fall into a restless, listless sleep. It never occurred to me that this was probably not the smartest move in the universe and that I could have accidentally turned it on while I was sleeping and sliced my head off.
16.6.06
The Bitter Twist of Dark 8
The worst thing about coming back to my flat was not facing the destruction of my things, or the fact that I was alone trying to clean it up with one working arm but the strange sense of violation I felt. That Jyrki had broken in and done all this and no one had been alerted, no one had heard or seen anything amazed me. When I had expressed this thought to the security agent in charge of my case he had merely shrugged.
“The older part of the Palace isn’t as easy to protect, Miss.” He had said. “I would suggest you request accommodations in the new residence wing. We have much better security and better surveillance systems there.”
I had nodded but I knew that was the last place I wanted to move. I had seen the new residence wing and it had reminded me of a prison not a place to live. Too many locks, too many security guards and far too many holo vid recorders keeping track of every little thing a person did. Plus I hated the design and the more modern style of architecture. It was a trade off, safety versus privacy.
By mid afternoon I was tired and the pile of destroyed clothes and things to be thrown out was far larger than any of the other piles I had started. I was furious at the wanton destruction of my material life but there wasn’t much I could do about any of it. I was taking a break with a cup of tea when a soft knock at the broken door interrupted my feeling sorry for my self.
“Hey, Rim Girl!” Shiv said as he walked in. “I heard you were here thought you might want some company.” He motioned for me to stay seated on the couch and came to me. “What a bloody mess.” He whistled.
“This is tidy compared to three hours ago!” I told him.
He gave me a hug and did that kiss kiss thing. “You poor thing. Maintenance says they’ll have the new door by tomorrow afternoon and security said there will be a better lock system in place. I came by to see how you were holding up?”
“I’m doing okay, just tired.” I said.
“Well I don’t imagine you would get much sleep after this.” He agreed. I had to bite my tongue. “I heard a rumour that it was Admiral Thrawn who saved the day?” He was digging but I didn’t mind.
I nodded. “He happened to be with me when I discovered this mess.” I said.
“I heard he took you in, ‘protective custody’?”
I made a face. “Oh for goodness sakes!” I swatted his arm. “You are so nosey!”
“Well…?”
“He has a place away from the palace and a spare room. He was kind enough to offer it and I was too much of a mess to think twice about accepting. It’s not what you think!” I said but it was exactly what he was thinking and I was pretty sure he could read that on my face.
“Uh huh!” he nodded giving me a grin then his expression turned more serious. “Are you really okay? I mean first that,” he pointed to my shoulder, “And now this, you don’t have much luck.” He said.
“I don’t know about that. I was lucky I wasn’t here when the break in happened. I mean it’s not as if I am in the best of shape to be fighting at the moment.”
“When you put it that way…” he looked around the room and caught sight of the pile of wrecked clothes. “I guess we need to go shopping soon?”
I grinned. “Yeah, they didn’t approve of my wardrobe I guess, every single one of my dresses was shredded.” I sighed. “The girl at HR said to provide a list of everything that was damaged or destroyed. Apparently news of this break in reached the Emperor and he was ‘most distressed’ to hear about it. They said they’ll replace everything but I’d have to shop for my own clothes. Cati will have something to say about the destruction of her works of art I am sure.”
There was a moment’s silence and then Shiv looked at me seriously. “Why would someone do this to you? Does this have something to do with that fight thing that almost killed you? I heard rumours that someone put a contract out on you.”
I sat back. “No, this is a different thing, not related.” I said wondering if the part about the contract on me was true. If it was, things could get awfully interesting and awkward around here pretty fast. I hoped it was just gossip doing what it usually did, running wild.
“So put me to work and maybe we can go out for Corellian cheese cake afterwards or does the Admiral have you on a strict curfew?” he grinned. I rolled my eyes and with Shiv at my side began to finish the job of cleaning up and sorting out my wrecked home.
By the time we had done as much as it was possible it was later than I had thought. I turned down Shiv’s invitation for late night tea and desert at our favourite café and went back to Thrawn’s. While I wasn’t under any sort of curfew, I was reasonably sure that something would be said about me staying up all night sorting out my flat, doctors orders to rest and all that, I didn’t need that sort of grief. The apartment was empty and silent. I glanced at the chronometer and sighed. It seemed that late nights were the norm rather than the exception when one worked for the Empire. I washed up, changed into night clothes and made myself tea. I was bone weary but not tired and I knew that lying in bed would be futile and annoying so I curled up on the couch with a book.
He came in well over an hour later. He glanced at me but said nothing and the look on his face told me to leave him alone so I did. I knew that look well enough because I had worn one just like many a time after a normal day with Lord Vader. I went to the kitchen and poured us both a brandy. I handed him the glass wordlessly when he joined me on the couch twenty minutes later. He had showered, his hair was still wet and he smelled like spice and soap. He had changed out of his uniform and, wrapped in his robe, he was ready for bed. He sipped his drink thoughtfully and then reached over and kissed me on the forehead.
“Thank you.” He said.
“Were you in meetings all this time?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yes, if there is one thing the leaders of this Empire love to do it is to listen to them selves talk.”
“I take it they weren’t productive meetings?”
“Sometimes I have to really wonder how this Empire can run at all. It is no wonder there is a Rebellion brewing. If the bureaucracy and self interest of the majority of the advisors and High Command doesn’t destroy us, then the megalomania of the Emperor will.” He told me with an angry shake of his head.
“I thought you were involved in budget discussion?”
He nodded. “That was this morning. Military spending is out of proportion with the money that needs to be assigned to infrastructure and support systems, especially for some of the Outer Rim planets. The way these people talk you would think that nothing exists beyond the Mid Rim. It is no wonder that smuggling is out of control and the petty thugs who run the Outer Rim planets have more control over the populations than the Imperial garrisons and outposts do.” He shook his head. “Zaarin’s new TIE designs were also unveiled. Very impressive, but the costs of producing these ships will far out weigh any advantage they will give us over the X-Wing designs the Rebellion is using. It will be very interesting to follow this project and all its possibilities.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “To top it all off, I heard the most ridiculous thing I have heard in a long time this afternoon. The Emperor has started building an improved design of battle station, to replace the original one that was destroyed at Yavin.”
I blinked at him, it was the most critical I had heard him speak in a long time. “Why does he want to build another one?” I asked in disbelief.
Thrawn shrugged. “Ego or perhaps he didn’t like it that his last toy was broken, I have no idea.” He said. “Vader not was overly impressed and made no bones about showing his displeasure. Sparks were flying between him and Palpatine.”
I couldn’t help the short laugh. “Lord Vader is rarely impressed with anything like that. He was against the first one as well; he thought it was a total waste of time and money, man power and technology. He wasn’t quiet about it then so it doesn’t surprise me that he hasn’t changed his mind.”
He nodded. “Yes, I am well aware of how Lord Vader feels on this subject. We have often discussed it.” He said. “At least he is honest about his opinion on this matter and not a weak minded fool, nodding his head in agreement to further his career.” He sipped his drink. “The problem is that in order to pay for this monstrosity taxes will have to be increased and there is a new demand for slaves to construct it.” He spoke the word slave with utter distaste. “How Palpatine and the rest of his yes men think this will hold the Empire together, is completely beyond me. Fear will only serve to drive the already growing unrest further rather than quiet it. Hate and fear are not good motivators, despite what most people seem to think.”
I sighed. “Maybe you should run for Emperor.” I joked. It earned me a slight smile.
“I have no interest in ruling an Empire, sj’iu tekari; I wish to see law and order in place but that will not happen if the current government insists on following this narrow minded path. You cannot marginalise the alien and Outer Rim populations and expect them to cheerfully tow the line.”
“Can you change anything?” I asked.
“That will remain to be seen.” He said. “It is not going to be easy with the likes of Tigellinus, Zaarin and the rest of the council of twelve, along with the Moffs, bickering over how gets more power and rights over territories. It is a waste of time. These men who are supposed to helping run this Empire efficiently are effectively driving it deeper and deeper into debt.” He shook his head.
“It doesn’t make you very happy, being here on Coruscant, does it?”
He looked at me for a moment, reached over and caressed my face. “Forgive me, I am tired. Normally I would not let these matters get under my skin.” He sipped at his brandy thoughtfully. “I usually enjoy watching the political dance that goes on at these meetings but today it was just tedious.” He said. “I apologise, here I am burdening you with all this nonsense and I have not even asked you how you are?”
“Well, I am fine.” I said with a smile.
He finished his brandy and nodded. “You look exhausted and I’m tired so let’s go to bed.” He said. I didn’t see any reason to disagree. After cleaning my teeth I joined him and curled up into his warmth. I lay in the dark of the room, in the circle of his arms with a billion things on my mind but no words to express them. I sighed.
“Stop thinking and go to sleep.” He told me, stroking my back. Surprisingly enough, under his hypnotic touch, I did but it didn’t last long.
I woke with a start, sitting straight up in the bed gasping for breath. Whatever had brought me out of my sleep did not linger in my waking mind long enough for me to remember, but the fear it left behind was enough. The disorientation receded slowly and as I remembered where I was I realised that I was alone.
I got out of bed and pulled a blanket over my shoulders then went in search of Thrawn. I found him on the balcony dressed in nothing more than the loose pants he slept in. He was seated in a chair with his legs stretched out and crossed one over the other and a cup of tea in his hands. I wondered how he could sit out in the cold of the pre dawn wearing next to nothing. Without the blanket I had slung across my shoulders, I would be shivering.
He looked up at me when I stepped out onto the balcony. “Did I wake you?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Is there more?” I asked pointing at his cup. He nodded so I went back inside to fetch myself a cup of tea.
“So why are you not asleep?” He asked.
“I might ask you the same question.”
He laughed slightly. “Yes, well sometimes I need to think, to meditate more than I need to sleep. What is your excuse?”
“Bad dreams, but I don’t remember what they were about.” I told him.
“They will pass.” He said gently.
I just nodded then asked. “What is on your mind? The meetings?”
He didn’t say anything for a moment, sipping at his tea and staring out into the never sleeping city. “Partially, mostly I am trying to sort out my next moves within the confines of my time here.” He said. “I have certain goals I wish to accomplish. I have to work out the best way to achieve these things. I find that sitting in the quiet of the night often aides me in my thinking.”
“It’s too chilly out here to think, but then again you don’t get cold do you?” I asked.
He grinned and shook his head; we had often had this conversation. “Not like you do. I find it quite refreshing actually, but then I don’t come from the giant ball of sand with an over abundance of solar power.”
I shook my head at his teasing. I was leaning with my back against the balcony railing, the soft wind tugged at my hair. “I like my sandbox home!” I said.
“Mmm, I know.” And we looked at each other and smiled. We came from opposite ends of the galaxy, from planets with climates that could not be more diametrically opposed and some how we still managed to get along. I marvelled at how comfortable I felt with him, here in this place. It should not have surprised me really; we had known each other for a long time and had shared a lot. Perhaps the fact that actual time spent in each other’s company was limited and precious made these moments together more remarkable. I didn’t know and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know either. Just like some secrets, some mysteries were not meant to be unravelled. When I truly thought about it, aside from my family, this man knew me better than anyone else in the galaxy, perhaps even better than my family.
“When will they get your flat sorted out?” he asked breaking me out of my thoughts.
“The door will be done tomorrow, I mean today, and the cleaning crew is scheduled for the day after. I have to be there to let them in because the new door comes with a new, high tech locking system. Then if I understood the HR girl right they will deliver new furniture to replace the damaged stuff in the afternoon after the cleaning crew is done. So I guess things will be finished at the end of the week.”
“So you will stay in that flat and not move some place else?”
“The alternatives are not all that appealing. The new residency wing is more like a prison and off palace living is expensive.” I said. “Besides, I really like living in the older part of the palace and all my stuff, well what’s left of it now, is there.”
He nodded. “How do you feel about it?”
I sighed. “Honestly?”
“Honestly.”
“Scared.” I said.
“Then why stay there?” he asked.
I sighed. “Because if I do leave then Jyrki wins and I lose by giving into my fears. I won’t do that. I just don’t really know how to live this way. It is starting to feel as though I am waiting for him to make his next move rather than live my own life.”
“So you will choose pride and fear over safety and peace of mind?”
“You make it sounds as though I have a choice.” I snapped.
He drew a deep breath. “A’myshk’a, I have a proposition for you. One I have been considering discussing with you for a long time.”
I nodded, listening.
“I know that you want to move back into your own home, maintain your independence and I understand that but I want you to keep the key to this place.” I went to speak but he held up his hand to silence me. “I am more often than not off world and this perfectly good apartment, which I own outright, is empty and unused for long periods of time. After your kidnapping I thought about it carefully then I had your name added to the papers on this flat. Should anything ever happen to me, ownership will be transferred to you.” He said.
“Why would you do that?” I asked very quietly.
“Partially because I want to know that you have a safe place to go that is away from the confines of the Imperial Palace and secondly I would feel a lot better knowing someone who truly loved art would be looking after mine.” He said. “And I wanted you to know that you are welcome here, any time whether I am here or not. This place is as much yours now, as it is mine.” He said and then watched my face carefully.
I had no idea how to respond to this.
“Is this a good silence or a bad silence?” he asked after what seemed an eternity, beckoning me with his hand to come closer.
I took a deep breath, put down my cup and came to him. He took my hand in his and pulled at me to sit on his lap. I just rested my head on his shoulder. His fingertips brushed the wind from my hair and I could feel the beat of his heart as I leaned against his chest. No one had ever given me what he had, the beautiful books and treasures. My hand went to the pendant I never took off. Now he was giving me a safe haven and I had no idea how to put into words how I felt. He watched me carefully, waiting.
“Why did you wait until now to tell me?” I asked. “It’s been well over a year since that delightful little event.”
He nodded. “I wasn’t certain you wouldn’t see it as interference and then you left the planet for Tatooine. I felt you would be safer there than on Coruscant. Telling you wasn’t necessary, but now,” he shrugged slightly, “well, the situation has shifted somewhat.”
“The situation?”
“You and I. This situation.” He said looking at me as he lifted my chin up to make sure I got the full meaning of his words.
“Oh.”
“I am reasonably certain had I made this offer some time ago it would have been very politely refused outright. Lack of independence is not one of your problems and I suspect you would have felt awkward about co habitation in what you would see as my space.”
I nodded. “You’re right about that. So why now?”
He shook his head a little and smiled. “The desire to keep you chained to a desk under the watchful eye of storm troopers is starting to become overly tempting. This seemed a better compromise.”
“That’s not really an answer, you know.”
“Of course it is, it’s just maybe not the one you expected to hear and, for the record, you have still not answered me.”
“Because I don’t know what to say.” I told him after a moment. “Thank you seems too small for something so huge.”
He stroked my hair. “Will you consider the offer then?”
“Yes.” I nodded, yawning. “But you won’t mind if I chose to stay in my own place?”
He shook his head. “Of course not, I merely wanted to give you a second option.” There was just a hint of untruth in his words but in this case I didn’t mind.
“Options are good to have.” I nodded. “Now, will you come back to bed with me? It’s freezing out here and I don’t need to watch the sun rise for a third day in a row.” I asked getting up.
His answer was simply a smile.
***
“Can you move it slowly?” the Doctor asked.
My shoulder immobilizer lay on the examining table beside me and the doctor was man- handling my arm and shoulder.
I moved it and had to bite down on the squeal of pain.
He nodded and then man-handled it some more. I gritted my teeth. “Well, it is much better than I thought it would be. Taisto Kjestyll has informed me he will be involved in your physiotherapy.” He said.
“You spoke to my master?”
The doctor nodded. “He came to me. We have discussed the best course of action for the quickest path of healing. Now with bacta injections and the pins holding the bone fragments in place your shoulder socket is healing nicely. I think you will recover fully but it will be painful for a while yet. When you smashed the joint back in place you not only smashed the bone but you damaged the muscle and ligaments, even bacta can’t heal everything quickly.” He told me and after easing the terrible stiffness out of the muscles that had not been used since the Bunduki fight, he then stuck two very long and painful needles of bacta into my shoulder. I just gritted my teeth and shut my eyes. I figured that my session with Master Kjestyll later on would be ever harder. I wasn’t wrong.
The new training room was perfect but I wasn’t. Master Kjestyll spent two hours trying to teach me how to breathe while he was manipulating my arm and my shoulder.
“Breathe out, child.” He said as he move my arm in a way that made me gasp.
“Ow!” I finally complained.
He stopped and looked at me. “This pain will pass when the ligaments and the muscles relearn what they are supposed to do. You need to stop fighting it and breathe as I showed you along with the movements.”
I sighed.
“Now concentrate.” He said and the torture continued for another hour.
My day had been mostly about sifting through paperwork, sorting out my flat and waiting for people to come to do the things they were supposed to do and pain. So when I returned to Thrawn’s flat, I was grateful for his gentleness and good supply of excellent wine. He had cooked and after dinner we sat on the couch, the holonet babbling in the back ground. My arm was now in a small, removable sling. Everything was much easier without that horrible brace, even sitting was more comfortable. He listened as I told him about my day, trying not to exaggerate the agonies and failing miserably. He just smiled.
“So, I can go back to work and I can move back to my own flat tomorrow. Then I’ll be out of your hair.” I told him.
“You are not in my hair.” He said. “You have work at the moment? I thought you were still under rest orders and that Vader was off world?”
I made a face. “I always have work to do, it’s the Empire. We’d drown in bureaucracy given half a chance.” I sighed. “It doesn’t matter if Lord Vader is around or not. In fact it’s often worse when he’s not here.” I explained. “And yes, he’s off-world. He got called away suddenly to Mimban. The governor of the planet contacted him saying that the rebel he’s been looking for was being held in custody. He went off like a shot. I have no idea when he’ll be back. He’s incredibly focused on finding this boy.” I said.
“Well, that doesn’t surprise me.” Thrawn said.
“Oh?”
“Luke Skywalker is his son.”
“You know this?” I asked after a moment's pause.
He nodded.
“How?”
He gave me a slight smile. “This is the Empire, there are few secrets kept here from people like me. So, yes I know. I have done for some time now.”
“So much for secrecy.” I muttered, not arguing the fact that he had not actually answered my question.
Thrawn raised an eyebrow and for some reason I found this hilarious and I started to laugh and I couldn’t stop. My laughing jag turned into a short unexplainable crying jag followed by more laughter completed by spending the rest of the night in bed with the most amazing man I knew. For the fourth morning in a row I was awake to watch the sun rise. It was a good thing I could go back to my own apartment, there were far too many distractions here and I desperately needed my sleep.
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