The Wrong Side of Right 2

“When did you get back?” I asked, turning around to see him come in the training room. I could not contain my pleasure at seeing Thrawn’s face, when his eyes met mine he, too, smiled. He had been off world long enough that I had missed him.

“About three hours ago.”

“How long are you staying?”

He ran his fingers through his hair; he hadn’t had it cut in a while and I thought it looked good. “I am not sure, a few days perhaps. It depends on the Emperor and how the meetings and planning sessions I must attend develop.”

I grinned. “Well, I won’t complain.” I said. I was sitting on the wooden floor bathed in the sunlight which shone through the windows. “How did you know I was in here?”

“I passed Taisto Kjestyll on my way to your office. He said, “And I quote, she is exercising some demons, you might want to tread lightly. But it seems to me that you are just doing your bearded-jax imitation and finding the sunniest spot in the room to bask in.”

I grinned as I lay back on the floor and stretched out as fully as I could. It felt so good that I never wanted to stop. “When Master Kjestyll says I was exercising demons what he really means is that he spent two hours straight kicking my ass. I get the feeling that the turn Merlyn into a deadly fighting machine isn’t going as well as everyone planned. I’m just not that good.” I said when I sat up.

Thrawn squatted down beside me, his elbows resting on his knees. “The people you get compared to have been in hard training most of their lives. You have only been at this a few years and even then only part time. Besides, when you need to, you can be quite … formidable.”

“Why are you here anyway?” I asked, looking up at him with a grin. “I would have thought you’d have gone home. I’d be there soon enough.” I reached over for my feet and stretched out over my legs.

“My presence has been requested at an exclusive art exhibition tonight by the Emperor. He suggested I bring you. I thought you might like some lead time to get ready; it is a dress up affair. I was not sure if you had other plans or if you’d be working late so I had no idea when you would be home and your comm is off.”

“Oh, didn’t the Emperor go off world to oversee the construction of that new toy of his like the rumours are saying?” The Emperor had become somewhat reclusive and no one had actually seen him for a while. The whispers were that he was unwell and maybe even dying but I knew better. I had known that he planned to go to the new battle Station and sort out the lagging mess the construction had become but no one knew when he was leaving or if he had already left.

“Apparently not yet.” He said with a slight shrug, “Has Lord Vader returned to the Core? I must discuss some issues with him.”

“He was here briefly after his trip out to the Kothlis system but then he left again almost right afterwards. The Emperor gave him permission to go search for Skywalker. I don’t know when he’ll be back.”

“I see.” He said. “So, I suppose this means that things have been relatively peaceful while I have been gone?”

“Are you asking for gossip?”

He arched an eyebrow and smiled. “Not intentionally.”

“Well, lets see… Grand Admiral Zaarin has pretty much vanished from Imperial court life. The rumour now is that he has closed out all communications and no one knows what is going on with the SRD. Lord Vader wanted to send out agents to investigate this but the Emperor told him not to; needless to say he wasn’t thrilled with this. He thinks that Zaarin is up to something big but doesn’t know what. And no, I didn’t say anything, before you ask. I figured it was none of my business and I want to stay out of it. I am a bit scared that if Vader thinks I know something he’ll send me out to spy on Zaarin under the guise of delivering a message or something.” I said with a sigh. “Of course, Lord Vader is his usual unhappy self. He came back from the trip out to Kothlis furious! Luke had escaped, and no one could find him and he had no one to really blame as somehow there were pirates or mercenaries or some such bad guys involved. He wasn’t too specific. He also thinks that Xizor is behind it all, as usual. I don’t want to be in Xizor’s shoes if that’s really the case, because if it is, Lord Vader won’t give a Jawa’s damn about upsetting the Emperor by eliminating Xizor. I suppose this war between them would be funny by now if it weren’t so damned annoying. I am just getting tired of hearing Lord Vader bitch about Xizor all the time, you’d think the second most powerful man in the galaxy would just deal with it and not simply keep complaining about it. Xizor, on the other hand seems to relish all the backstabbing snarkiness. You should hear how polite he can be now, it’s like being polite has become the new way of being rude. Oh and on top of it all he is rumoured to have a new love interest but no one knows who it…”

He put up a hand to stop me, unable to hide his amusement. “I get the picture, so about the exhibition tonight?”

“Whose work is being showcased?” I asked.

“Tarka-Null.”

That got my attention. “The sculptor?”

He nodded. “Are you interested?”

I was but I made a face. “Does it matter? Usually if the Emperor suggests something it’s more of a polite order than a suggestion.” I sat back with my palms flat on the floor. “I just think he likes making us come to these things as a couple to paint big shiny targets on our backs for the Daily Digest. I feel like we are his entertainment sometimes.”

Thrawn gave me a slight smile that never quite met his eyes and then he stood up. “As you say, does it matter?” his voice held that crispness of distaste in it that I knew meant he didn’t want to discuss the Emperor’s whims or wishes. “It will be an evening out and a chance to see some of the best sculptures in the galaxy.”

He was right, what did the reasons behind it matter? “Will The Waiting Dancer be among the collection?” I asked offering my hand so he could help me up.

“I don’t know.” He told me, pulling me to my feet. “I have not seen the collection’s datalogue, but it is one of his most well known yes mysterious pieces so chances are good it will be there. Is it a piece you like?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

I grinned knowing he would find my answer funny. “Because it always reminds me of me when I was six or so and desperately wanted to be a fluttery little dancer.” I made dancer like motions with my hands.

His eyebrow arched. “Indeed?”

“You don’t like it?” I asked as I stripped off my sweat soaked things and changed into dry clothes. I’d shower when I got home.

“I find it lacks some of the more delicate quality of his later works.” He turned his back to me while I changed and looked out of the window. “But I have never seen the original, only holos of it.”

“You know it isn’t really considered a sculpture. It was actually a Maquette for a commissioned piece.” I said, picking up my things and putting them in my bag.

“Really? No, I actually did not know that.” He said as we walked out of the training room. “That would explain the lesser detailing then.”

“My mother told me about it. He was supposed to complete a life sized version for the Alderaan Dance Academy, but it never happened and only the study exists.”

“I have never read this information in any of the literature about him. How do you know this?”

I grinned as we left the palace, “Because my mother was the girl who posed for the piece, she told me all about it.”

He chuckled. “Your family is just full of surprises.”

“What time are we expected this evening?” I asked, waiting while he unlocked his speeder.

“At twenty-two hundred hours.” He said. I just grimaced as we pulled out into Coruscanti traffic.

“Great, I have an hour to get something to eat, shower and make myself look like one of Coruscant’s elite and beautiful. You realise you’re asking for miracles, don’t you.”

He chuckled. “I have the food part taken care of, your ability to shower in under ten minutes has astounded me before and as for turning into Miss Coruscant, well you can work wonders under pressure, I know I’ve seen you do it.”

I just shook my head. There was no competing with his logic and, of course he was more or less right. By the time I had showered, he had a light, quick meal ready to eat, after which I vanished into the bedroom to turn from Rim-Girl to beauty queen, no easy task.

It was not unusual for the Emperor to arrange private collections shows, usually as fundraisers. The wealthy and elite of Coruscant were more than happy to shower money on these endeavours if it got them the chance to rub shoulders with other rich and famous as well as be seen in the company of the Emperor. It was an old game, buying favour and power with wealth.

These venues were always interesting and often unusual. This one was no exception, being held in an old power plant that had been converted into expensive offices and studios in the area known as The Works. I was glad that Thrawn knew where he was going because I found The Works a total maze to navigate.

The gallery space was large and airy, typical for a remodelled production plant. The new design had cleverly incorporated the aspects that made these sorts of building special while modernizing it so that the space was comfortable to be in. The reception itself was much larger than I had thought it would be and the despite the room’s vast size it was very crowded.

We walked through the crowd and mingled politely. It was easy to keep quiet as no one really spoke directly to me. Part of being palace fluff was being seen but not heard. I smiled a lot and sipped at the odd orange drink that I had been handed by the waiter. It tasted like a mixture of melon fruit, kiki berries and saqui liquor. It was potent and prickled on my tongue. I thought it was cute how they had decorated the glass with tabjio flowers.

I walked around the room beside Thrawn as he made polite small talk with various dignitaries and their wives or female companion and looked at the sculptures that were displayed around the room. Most of the works were from Tarka-Null’s later years and the one piece I had hoped to see was not amongst the collection.

I was lost in thought when Thrawn nudged my arm and I looked up to see the Emperor approaching. I suppressed the urge to shiver and smiled as I curtsied. The Emperor acknowledged Thrawn with a slight wave of his hand and turned to address me.

“You look lovely this evening my dear.” He said as he gestured for me to get up.

“Thank-you, your Highness.”

“And how do you like this exhibition.” He asked me.

“It’s a stunning collection of his works.” I said honestly. “I had no idea how beautiful some of these pieces were until I was able to see them with my own eyes.”

“But you sound a little disappointed.” He remarked.

I smiled to cover up my surprise. “Not at all, your Highness. I feel very lucky to have been able to view these pieces. Tarka-Null was one of the galaxy’s greatest artists.”

He chuckled. “Yes he was.” He had begun to walk and had gestured for me to walk with him. Thrawn, who had not been included in this conversation, remained where he was and continued to banter with the couple he had been speaking with. “You are familiar with his works then?”

“Yes, my mother was very fond of him and she passed that love of his art on to me. We have many books on his works at home on Tatooine.”

“Indeed.” He said. “But I still sense you hoped for something more?” The Emperor asked as we stopped to look at one of the larger more abstract pieces.

“Your Excellency does not miss much.” I said quietly. I could feel him digging, a subtle brush of his mind against mine. It felt like meat grubs boring into my brain.

The Emperor smiled slowly, “You, my dear child, are an open book to me.” He said. “So tell me, what piece is missing that you wished to see?”

“The Waiting Dancer.” I said. “Though technically it isn’t actually considered a sculpture the way the others are. I had heard it was not on Alderaan when the planet was destroyed. So I thought it might be showcased here. ”

He nodded and seemed to sigh. “Ah yes, that is an exquisite little piece.” He said, “And no I don’t believe it was destroyed in that unfortunate accident. Why are you so interested in it? It is, as you say, not considered a sculpture but rather simply a study for one that was never completed. ”

“It reminds of me when I was small. I had wanted to be a dancer. I suppose it also reminds me of my mother.” I told him. It was the truth it just wasn’t the whole truth.

“Well, in that case we shall have to arrange for you to view the piece you so obviously adore.” He said kindly.

I glanced at him, surprised. “That would be lovely.”

His expression turned to amusement. “If it would make you smile like that for me, then I shall most definitely arrange it.” He spoke in that avuncular tone which made my skin crawl. “Are you feeling better?” He asked.

“Your Highness?” he had caught me off guard with his question. My surprise was not feigned.

“I heard that you left the reception for the new assembly wing early. Siavaan mentioned you were taken ill. I remember you said you had had an accident, I hope it was nothing serious.”

I glanced at him. “I tripped, banged my head and ended up with a headache.” I lied and I suspected he knew that.

“Perhaps you were coming down with the same thing that afflicted Grand Admiral Zaarin, he was also not feeling so well when he attended the reception.”

“Oh, really? I am sorry to hear that.” I said carefully. “I hope that he recovers.” Actually I was sort of hoping he’d rot in the nine Corellian Hells but that was another matter.

“Yes, I’m sure you do, my dear.” The Emperor chuckled. “I would not trouble myself over his health if I were you; Grand Admiral Zaarin has a strong constitution. I am sure it would take more than a little run in with some minor health issues to bring him down.” He glanced at me and smiled. “You have had quite the effect on my Imperial officers; he also seems quite taken with you.”

I feigned shyness and looked away. “I was under the impression that the Grand Admiral wasn’t really interested in anything other than his career.”

Palpatine’s soft laugh gave me goose bumps. “Yes, his ambitions do seem to want to get the better of him some days. Still he is a valuable part of the Empire, as are all employees under my care. I would be most displeased should any serious harm come to those I need and have use. Zaarin plays his part in the Empire, as do you, my dear. ” He stopped walking for a moment and paused to look at me. His words were pleasant and the tone of his conversation light but the reproach and warning behind it all did not escape me. I got the message. I wasn’t sure quite how to react so I just gave him a smile and I made it reach my eyes.

“I can’t imagine anyone wanting to displease you, your Highness.” I said after a moment’s silence.

“Of course not, child,” He said patting my arm. “Now, why don’t you run along and rejoin Admiral Thrawn. I know how much he enjoys your delightful companionship and how precious your time with him is. I should attend to my guests but we will speak again soon enough.”

“As you wish, your Highness.” I dropped a polite curtsy and stepped back to let him pass. Then meandered back to where Thrawn stood.

The wife of the man he was speaking to turned to me and smiled. I exchanged my empty drink glass with a full one from a passing waiter and took a healthy gulp. Thrawn watched me for a moment carefully and I knew he had noticed my trembling hands. The woman standing next to her husband began to chatter to me about how wonderful the collection was, how pretty my dress was and how wonderful it was to see the Emperor in such fine form. While I was grateful for the distraction, I wondered if she ever stopped talking long enough to breathe. For the most part I just stood quietly and nodded politely. Out of the corner of my eye I caught Thrawn’s slight, sly smile as he covertly watched me hide my bored annoyance. The rest of the evening was completely uneventful and I was grateful when we were able to leave.

We drove back to the flat in silence and I was more than happy to get out of the dress up finery when we were finally home. It felt like shedding a mask or a costume. When I joined Thrawn in the living room he was sitting in a chair, having changed from his uniform to sleepwear he looked less austere and tense. He had poured me a brandy. I took it from his hand and sat across from him.

He had made it clear on the way back to the flat he wanted to know what had happened after Bespin, wanted to know what the Emperor had done to me to make me even more scared of him than I previously had been. I had told him I did not want to talk about it but Thrawn was insistent and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He, perhaps better than anyone else, knew how well I bottled things up inside and what that did to me. For reasons I didn’t understand he had made it his mission to draw out the poisons which damaged my soul. I never knew whether or not to be grateful or resentful, even though after talking about these things that worried at me, helped.

In truth, it was almost a relief to be able to speak of the unspeakable. To unfold the story that had been told to me by the lightsaber Luke had held. My hands shook and sometimes I had to fight to find the right words to try and describe what I had seen. Thrawn was well aware of what my talent for reading the memories of objects did to me and was patient. Once before, I had actually shared my gift with him, physically showing him the same images I had seen and it had shaken him to the core. Thrawn listened quietly without interruption until I was done. For what seemed like forever he remained silent and thoughtful. I could not tell if he was angry, upset about or just contemplating what I had told him. I swirled the brandy around in the glass, waiting for him to break the silence because I had nothing else to say.

“Did Vader tell him about this nasty little talent of yours?” He finally asked watching me closely, cupping his brandy glass in his hand.

I glanced at him. “No, in fact he suggested it was you who did that.”

He let out a slow, deep breath and sat back in the chair. His expression was unreadable but his eyes, which had never left my face, turned cold and hard. “What do you believe?” he asked.

“I believe that the Emperor found out somehow, but really how he did doesn’t really matter. I was the one who confirmed it for him. I don’t believe that the information came from you or Lord Vader. The Emperor has eyes and ears everywhere; it was bound to happen sooner or later. It’s possible he’s known for a really long time but never had anything he wished to test me on before.” I sipped my brandy slowly. “In the end it doesn’t matter. He knows what I can do and when he needs to he’ll use it.”

He nodded slowly. “He did not learn this information from me, tekari.” There was a sadness in his voice which I didn’t like hearing.

I had not thought this the case but I was glad to hear him confirm it. Still, something else nagged at me. “Did you mention to anyone about what happened between Zaarin and me?”

“No. Why?”

“I get the feeling that the he knew what had happened, just something about how he talked about the Admiral. You know how the Emperor can be sometimes, always some subtle message underneath the spoken words.”

“That would not surprise me.” He said. “Zaarin has caught the eye of the Emperor as of late with some of his more unorthodox methods of work. It is no secret that he had an interest in you just as your distaste for him was fairly obvious. The Emperor is not a stupid man; he could have put two and two together given how you were both behaving at the reception.” He said. “I am certain that he is watching his entire High Command staff very carefully. There are a lot of undercurrents going on within the Imperial ranks at the moment. Admiral Harkov’s defection was more damaging than first suspected.”

“Why do you think he did it?”

“Harkov?”

I nodded.

“Who can really say? He stopped believing in the system? Perhaps it was the arrest and execution of his nephew that was the final trigger but I suspect he had been planning betraying the Empire for some time.” He said. “What would make a man turn against everything he has known? You would have to ask him this question, not me.”

“Has it always been like this?”

“Like what?” He asked.

“Complicated and mixed up with all this suspicion and lies, all the back stabbing and double dealing.” We had had this conversation before but somehow I could not wrap my head around it all.

“For as long as I have been a part of this Empire there have been these games.” He replied. “But this is normal. I know of no society that does not have some aspect of this dance. Surely you must have seen something similar when you worked at Jabba’s Palace?”

“I was aware of it but most of the time it didn’t affect me, at least not until it landed me a job working for lord Vader. I just tried to avoid it all as much as possible.” I said. “Why does this happen? Why aren’t people just happy with what they have?”

He smiled slightly and looked at the brandy left in his glass, swirling it around in lazy circles. “I have no answer for that question. The lust for power does odd things to sentient beings. Fear, greed, ambition all set that drive for more. The easy answer is that it is our base nature for survival. He who has more, is stronger, has the biggest army, the most food survives longer.”

“It reminds me of scyks fighting over a carcass.” I said.

“An apt description.” He agreed.

“What about you?” I asked. “You also play these games.”

He regarded me for a moment. “I do.” He said slowly, “Because they are a means to an end. I am here doing the work that I do because my own people would not allow me the freedom to accomplish certain things at home. Power and a high rank, having the commands I do as well as the favour of the Emperor allow me to better prepare for any eventualities which may come.”

“You’ve mentioned this before but you don’t elaborate. You hint at threats but you never say what they are.”

He nodded. “This galaxy is full of dangers most beings, especially humans never even dream of. They feel safe, protected by the Empire, tucked away behind the security of a well armed navy. And while a little more thought should be given to these dangers which lurk out there it is more likely an invasion will come from outside our own galaxy.” He said, “Living beyond the borders of unknown space, beyond the boundary that defines this galaxy, is an enemy so ferocious that fighting it will take all of our collective minds and strengths to even contemplate defeating them.” He paused. “My people have had contact with these beings and judging by the ferocity with which the small reconnaissance force fought the Chiss, to come up against an invasion of these beings would be an unthinkable disaster were the worlds of this galaxy not allied and working together as one. Under the Empire the armed forces are strong and organised.”

“Does the Emperor know about this potential enemy?”

“He is aware of the threat.” He conceded after a moment’s silence. There was something in his voice I didn’t much like.

“This enemy, these beings, they worry you a little don’t they?”

“That would be an understatement, my dear. These far outsiders, as they have been called, are of great concern to me. I am aware of what one small recon force was able to do to a highly trained military response team. The Chiss military is one of the best there is and they were hard put to deal with this enemy. Believe me when I say I do not wish to see any more of these beings cross into this galaxy but I fear that will be inevitable.”

Knowing that he felt this way did nothing to comfort me at all. I always thought of him as fearless. I sighed and sipped at my brandy. In light of the conversation we had just had, my own problems did not seem so important any more.

He read that in my face and gestured for me to come to him. “These are worries we can leave for another day and preparations are being made to deal with the possibility of an invasion.” He said as he set his glass down on the table.

“You sound pretty sure of yourself.” I said taking the hand he offered, not resisting when he pulled me onto his lap.

“I, along with others, am doing all I can to ensure the safety of the galaxy is in hand.” He said gently. “A little trust, my dear.”

It was a phrase I was used to hearing from him and it always managed to make me smile and shake my head at the same time. It was also his way of gently telling me that he didn’t wish to speak about politics or our jobs any more. I could not blame him, he dealt with these subjects day in day out, coming home was a respite he welcomed. Sometimes, he had told me, what he needed the most was quiet and calm away from the daily machinations of the Emperor and his empire. That he found solace in my presence had touched me deeply. I didn’t push when he changed or shut down the topic of work.

I thought about what he had said, a little trust… but trusting him was not the issue, I did trust him more than I ever wanted to say, it was almost everyone else who worked around the Emperor that I worried about. It was a lot to think about and my mind buzzed as I rested my head against his shoulder. He didn’t say anything else, he didn’t have to. His hands were warm upon the skin of my back and I shivered when he nuzzled my neck, kissing that sensitive place below my ear which always made my skin prickle and me gasp. It was an effective way to direct my thoughts in another direction. Sometimes, I thought ruefully, he knew me just a little too well.

Later, as we lay curled about each other in bed; it seemed to me that even in the quiet of the night there was no peace. My fingers traced up and down his bare chest idly because I was restless but in difference to his usual methods to try and lull me into sleep this time he absently stroked my hair and we lay together in silence. His earlier words had troubled me; his own worry infected my thoughts. In light of what we had spoken of, the Emperor’s seemingly endless plots and plans did not seem quite so evil minded. This didn’t mean I liked him any better or feared him any less but it did paint a different image of what he was attempting to do, if what Thrawn had said was true. I suppose the conversation and these concerns also weighed on Thrawn’s mind as well, because he, too, was wide awake, troubled and lost in thought.

The Wrong Side of Right 1

As I had suspected there were no repercussions from Zaarin’s attack. I had gone back to work as though everything was normal and no one was the wiser. Aside from Thrawn, the only other person I told about the incident was Shiv. He had been horrified but not surprised and his only comment about it all had been; “Remind me never to piss you off, kiddo.”

Grand Admiral Zaarin had vanished back off to where ever it was he had been stationed without a word. I was grateful for that; I didn’t really want to face him again although I was sure the feeling was probably mutual. Not only had I hurt him physically but it had been a pretty major blow to his ego. Most men, it had been my experience, didn’t like getting their asses kicked by a girl.

Lord Vader came and went as his missions dictated occasionally I accompanied him but more often than not I was left behind which I mostly didn’t mind. His focus was on catching his son but the Emperor kept holding him back, sending him on other missions that often had lots to do with Prince Xizor. This did nothing to improve his already bad mood. Occasionally, I got a call to ferry something out to him or meet him somewhere in the galaxy. Sometimes I used a lambda class shuttle, if one was available, and sometimes I used my own ship. While it wrecked havoc on my schedule I didn’t mind. It was good for my piloting skills and helped me keep up the mandatory hours I needed to maintain my pilot’s papers. The last trip I had made out to meet him had also been one of the weirdest.

Lord Vader had been campaigning in the Outer Rim, near Shalyvane. Rebels had discovered the Emperor’s desire to capture a strange, mythical creature called a teezl which was supposed to be a non-sentiment, creature that could be used as a natural hyperspace communications amplifier. It had sounded like a bunch of bantha poodoo to me when I had heard about it and Lord Vader was also sceptical but the Emperor had been quite insistent one of these things be found and captured, much to my surprise this had actually been done. During the skirmish between the rebels and the Imperials that had ensued over this galactic oddity many pilots had been injured or killed because the rebels had somehow managed to get a hold of TIE codes and the chaos that caused was incredible. The pilot casualty list had been greater than usual and the atmosphere on board the flag ship had not been good. Lord Vader had been fairly insistent that I stay out of the way, he was busy enough, he had said without me being under foot as well. That was fine with me; he had been driving me crazy anyway.

Shortly after the battle over the teezl, we had ended up in a huge argument that had started over a mixed up delivery but had ended with him pointing out all my flaws as a student to the darkside. He had not been very impressed when I had pointed out that he could either have me as a student or as an assistant but there wasn’t enough time in the galaxy for me to be both and it wasn’t my fault that he wasn’t the best teacher in the galaxy. Needless to say, after this he had ranted at great length about why I was such a terrible student and that he did not know why he ever put up with me. The discussion had escalated into a true yelling match, the air between us fairly crackled ended with him storming out of my office and me being riled up enough to throw the nearest datalogue at him, after he had gone and the door had closed.

I had been so annoyed and angry that sitting down and getting back to work had been impossible so instead I had decided to go and work off some energy but I instead of ending up in the training room, I had wandered into a small secret medical facility. I had been so cross that I had taken a wrong turn, had not noticed where I was and had high enough clearance that the door opened for me.

I had known I was not supposed to be in the med lab the moment I had entered. It had that kind of feel to it, but the medical droids who had been fussing about the bacta tank had merely glanced at me briefly and then gone back to their work, monitoring the patient within.

Inside of the bacta tank had been a young woman. When I’d stopped and stared at her I had realised with a sudden knot in my gut that, despite the terrible injuries, I knew her face from an image I had seen while talking to Jorae. She had been an Imperial agent named Shira Brie. I could feel her strength as she fought for her life. She was a very powerful force user and I wondered if it had been that energy which had drawn me to find her there.

I don’t recall how long I had stood there and watched her. I would never be sure if she had been aware of what had happened to her or not, but I had hoped not, I had hoped that Lord Vader had allowed her to be sedated and on pain meds unlike when the Emperor had taken care of him. In a bacta tank one was doped up pretty good and her condition was critical. She had been horribly burned and had lost limbs in the space battle. Part of me had felt sorry for her and part of me had been morbidly fascinated about what would happen to her next. I had been deep in thought when Lord Vader came in to check on her. He had not been pleased to see me there and I had felt the ripple of his anger keenly but I had ignored it and had chosen to let my own curiosity override my need to get out of shouting distance.

“Will she live?” I had asked him before he could chastise me for being in a place I wasn’t supposed to be.

He had glared at me then went back to staring at the girl in the bacta tank, his thumbs hooked into his belt, his annoyance at me more or less contained. “Yes.” He answered after a lengthy silence.

“She’s a force user, isn’t she?”

He had seemed to sigh. “Yes she is.” He’d said, “Quite powerful, far more so than you are.”

I had ignored his barb. “What will happen to her?”

A moment of silence passed then he had answered. “She will be returned to Coruscant and have reconstructive surgery, cybernetic implants and then she will be retrained.”

I had shivered. “Retrained?”

My questions and my presence in this secret little medical lab had not been welcome and he grew impatient with my questions. When he’d answered me it was not friendly. “She is everything you are not.” He had said snarkily. “Her force potential is great and her will to work hard and learn all that I and my master can teach is great, unlike you, she does not question every single little thing that happens to her and she thirsts for knowledge. Despite her injuries she will become a great student of the dark side of the force. She will be a powerful agent for the Empire.” As he spoke I could feel the pride in his voice. He admired her for her strengths, for her ability to survive her catastrophic injuries and the student she might become. “Her ambitions will make her great, unlike like you….” He had not bothered to finish his sentence. I knew he felt I was a bit of a failure when it came to developing my force abilities. Although, his words had stung, as I had stood there looking at the damaged body of the woman he planned on reshaping in his own image, I had realised that what she was, I never, ever wanted to be and if that meant disappointing Lord Vader then that had been okay with me.

I had been grateful when we had returned to the Core and I could resume my normal routines and work. Shira Brie had been transferred to the special medical facility for rehabilitation and cybernetic augmentations. I had no idea what had become of her afterwards but assumed she had recovered and was undergoing training. She would be, I had guessed, just one of the many secret agents Lord Vader and the Emperor had at their disposal and while Thrawn had often urged me to broaden my horizons and become more than just an office girl, I was glad I hadn’t listened to him. I was rather attached to my limbs and it had seemed to me that seriously becoming a dark side adept had meant giving some of them up.

I liked the job I had, I was good at it and it was the one area where Lord Vader did not have too many complaints about. It was also, relatively speaking, safe. I didn’t want to be an Emperor’s Hand. It had never been my goal to run around the galaxy doing the Emperor’s dirty work and I was extremely glad that neither he nor Lord Vader seemed intent on pushing this point at the moment. While I had some talents with the force, my best skill was also the most unpleasant and I wasn’t terribly keen on using it. I was grateful that with the rising insurgence from the rebels, the construction of the second Death Star, and the additions of two new classes of Star Destroyers also in the works, the two men had more than enough to worry about without concerning themselves about the training of a single, insignificant girl from the Outer Rim who was not particularly compliant. As long as I did my job and stayed out of everyone’s way, I was mostly left to my own devices, which was fine with me.

I was in the middle of confirming the latest order for more duelling droids when Lord Vader, who had recently returned to the Core, stormed into the office I occupied in his Coruscant home. He was furious. He had been ordered to go to the Kothlis Sector by the Emperor to retrieve Luke who had been captured by pirates. I thought he would be happy to finally have permission to go after his son instead of being sent on missions he considered beneath him, but that was not exactly the case.

“What is he thinking?” He snarled while pacing back and forth in front of my desk so savagely that his cloak, flaring out behind him, disturbed the air enough that I had to rescue several flimsies from flying off my desk.

I watched him stalk back and forth with my eyes. I didn’t dare speak for fear of upsetting him further, when he was in this sort of mood, someone usually got hurt, someone usually me. He stopped for a second to glance at me. I just raised my eyebrows. I had no idea what he was talking about. He went back to pacing.

“Was it not bad enough that the first Battle Station was destroyed due to the plans falling into rebel hands that he has to actually hand them the plans to the second one as well?” He yelled. “It is the stupidest thing I have heard of yet! I cannot believe that my master would actually listen to the advice of that Falleen thug!”

I opened my mouth to say something but realised there was nothing to say. If what Lord Vader was telling me was true, then I had to agree with him. It sounded like a pretty stupid plan to me.

“Now I have to go out to Kothlis and pretend to care about getting the plans back! To make it all look real! It is a ridiculous waste of my time!” He ranted.

“Will I be accompanying you on this mission, my lord?” I asked.

He stopped mid stride and looked at me as though he were seeing me for the first time and had only just realised I was there. “No. I want you here to keep an eye on things; to let me know should that so called Prince tries anything else.”

“I am quite sure your personal informants will do a much better job of that than I can.” I replied carefully. I wasn’t a spy and I didn’t like being used as one, the last time I had tried to play that game the results had been mixed and I had ended up fighting with Thrawn over it.

He folded his arms across his chest. “Yes, they but you have a knack for getting information they cannot. I want you on Coruscant, is that clear?”

I nodded. “Crystal.” I said.

While I was not happy about the reasons, I was happy to comply with his order. The thought of being cooped up on the Executor with him while he hunted down his son and put on a show for the rebels, was not my idea of fun. It didn’t help that the rumours that Zaarin had become difficult to get in touch with, reclusive and secretive the TIE defender project was now the subject of hushed whispers and concern. Something was going on but no one knew what. This all made Lord Vader very unhappy. He was hard enough to live with at the best of times and these were not the best of times.

He stormed out of my office and went to destroy some droids, venting a little of his anger before he headed back into space. I was grateful when I finished up my work for the day and could go home where I planned on soaking in a tub full of hot bubbly water with a glass of very good wine. All the scheming and plotting which was currently going on was making my head spin.

In the City that never sleeps 14

Sand swirled about my bare feet but when I looked up I found myself in the Jedi Temple not the desert. A young woman grabbed my hand and began to pull me through the sunlit hallways. I knew her face, A’kali L’uanna as a girl.

“Come on, they’re here!” She said and all but dragged me to a place where we had a clear view of a wide entrance. She pointed to the people arriving, specifically at a small blond haired boy.

“Who is that?”

“He’s the Chosen One.” She whispered. There was no mistaking the reverence in her voice.

I turned back to took at the boy not noticing that A’kali had slipped away. He looked frightened and lost. I sensed a great sorrow around him and the people he was with. It pierced my heart with its intensity.

“He mourns my death.” Said a new voice at my side. I looked up into the face of Qui Gon Jinn. “He has too much attachment, it will be hard for him to let go. This was our first mistake.” His words puzzled me.

I looked back at Anakin only to have him stare up into my face. “You.” He mouthed but I didn’t understand. For a moment our eyes met then everything around me morphed into something else.

I found myself still in the Temple but in the great Library. All around me was chaos, while I could not see anything I heard the screams and knew what night it was. The night the five oh first came, following Anakin who had turned to the darker side of his passions. The five oh first would forever be known as Vader’s fist after this, the terrible Fist of a man who would kill children to serve his own needs. I often wondered how those cloned soldiers had felt following the duty that Vader had tasked them with.

I didn’t understand this dream but I couldn’t get away from it either. I shut my eyes tightly and covered my ears with my hands hoping to block out the screams and sounds of blaster fire and lightsaber’s slice. Only when someone touched me on the shoulder did I open myself back up. The silence was more deafening that the sound of the furious slaughter. I glanced at the shimmering image of Qui Gon and then followed his own gaze. I shuddered at the sight.

“You have done well, my young apprentice.” I heard the terrible voice of Palpatine say. His words echoed through the stillness.

Anakin, a young man torn by grief, anger and the knowledge that he had betrayed everything, knelt on the floor before his master’s feet. What went through his mind I did not know but I could guess. I wished I could have saved him, turned back time and stopped it all from happening. I had to choke back a sob that threatened to engulf me.

“He doesn’t understand. He never understood.” Qui Gon told me. “Neither did we.” The sorrow in his voice was heart breaking. I watched as the scene once again shimmered and changed.

“Why do you show me these things?” I asked. I knew I was crying but I didn’t bother to wipe away my tears.

“So that you might know.”

“But why?”

“Because someone has to, because you see beyond the mask.” He said cryptically. Before I could ask another question he faded away leaving me in the empty library. I looked about and realised that it was completely bare. Everything that had been in it had been stripped away.

I walked about the room trying to find a trace of the history it had once held but there was nothing at all. The place was finally dead. It didn’t make me sad, it was a relief. I could touch things but felt nothing.

“You often come here, don’t you my child.” Palpatine’s soft voice whispered from behind me, making me jump in fright.

“Your Highness.” I said and began to kneel but he made a gesture with his hand and I remained standing.

“What do you hope to find in this place?” he asked gently.

“I don’t know.” It was the truth. “I never know.”

“There are no more answers here.” Palpatine said.

“I don’t understand any of this.”

Palpatine smiled. “Exactly, neither did he … until it was too late.”

I looked at the Emperor trying to decipher the hidden meanings underneath his words, but this was a dream and nothing made sense.

“You should not come here any more.” He said in that avuncular manner, as though I were a favoured niece not one of his pawns. “You should return home now.”

The room shifted and I found myself in a med lab but not one I was familiar with. This one was dark and intimidating. It smelled like charred flesh and metal. When I heard a scream I turned around and at first could not understand what I was seeing.

Medical droids bustled around the terribly burnt body, stripping off charred clothing, strips of flesh, in some places down to the bone and the man on the medical bed was still aware, still awake and screaming in agony. The droids seemed oblivious to his pain. They busied themselves with the artificial limbs which would take the place of the ones Obi Wan had severed.

“Suffering will make you strong, Anakin.” A voice behind me chided. “Use your anger and rise above the pain!”

I shuddered. Suddenly I felt sick. The Emperor had done this to him. No anaesthetic, nothing to dull the terrible pain. The med-droids began their terrible work, attaching metal to flesh, making Anakin whole again. No wonder Anakin hated the Emperor so much. No wonder Lord Vader was the way he was. How could one man endure so much pain and anger? I tried to turn away from the sight only to find someone holding my arm. When I looked to see who it was I found myself staring into Anakin’s charred face, his eyes had turned a dreadful colour of fire. I couldn’t bear to look at him but I couldn’t turn away.

“Wipe them all out!” He screamed. “Cut them all down! Traitors all of them! Even you, you betrayed me!” He stared straight at me but he wasn’t seeing me, he was seeing someone else. Ghosts…I was surrounded by them.

I snatched my hand from the metal claw that held me and backed away. I bumped into Palpatine who, with his hands on my shoulders, spun me around to face him. “You see, little one, there is no escape, eventually everyone becomes mine. I have plans for you and your talents, but not just yet.” He caressed my face with the backs of his fingers. I shivered. His smile was grotesque, as though a thousand years of malignancy had eaten away his flesh. “Go home now, he’s waiting for you.” He said, propelling me towards a door I had not noticed. It opened onto nothing and before I could do anything he had pushed me through it into the void where I fell, screaming.

I woke up with my cries still echoing in my head, gasping for breath and disoriented. This was not the bed I was used to and for a moment I wasn’t sure I really had woken up. When the reality of what room I was in hit and the memory of everything that had happened flooded back I knew I was not sleeping any more and got up. The chrono said it was just after two am.

I stumbled into the bathroom and cleaned up then headed for the kitchen to make a cup of tea. While the water heated up I went to the balcony to get some fresh air. At first I didn’t see Thrawn, standing in the darkness staring into the night, the lights from the city illuminated his skin softly but when I did my heart gave a little jolt. I stood very still thinking he had not noticed me, that I could just go back inside and not have to face any more of his angry accusations but then he spoke.

“Are you alright?” He asked without turning to look at me. “I heard you cry out.”

“I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m sorry.” I said and turned to leave.

“You did not wake me.” He said turning to face me, “and you didn’t answer my question.”

“It was just a dream.” I said, “A bad one, but just a dream, I don’t think it meant anything. I’m fine, I’m just … I’m fine.”

“Does this have to do with what happened after Bespin?” He asked.

I shook my head. We had not talked about that and although he knew something terrible had occurred, something that gave me nightmares so bad I was often afraid to go back to sleep afterwards, he had not pushed for information yet. “No. It was just a bad dream and it didn’t make any sense. If it had any meaning I don’t know it.”

We stared at each other for a moment. Then he broke the stillness between us when he stretched out his hand to me, gesturing that I should come to him. I did so hesitantly.

He reached out and caressed the side of my face with the backs of his fingers. “I’m sorry.” He said.

I blinked up at him in disbelief. “You’re apologising?”

“Yes,” He said, “I had no right to speak to you the way I did. You sound surprised.”

“It’s been my experience that men don’t usually say sorry for anything, right or wrong.”

That earned me a smile. “Well perhaps you have been keeping company with the wrong men.” He said. “When I am wrong, I will admit it.”

“Oh,” I said as I looked up into his face. This was the last thing I expected him to do or say. His eyes, which glowed with an eerie reddish light, held concern and something else I couldn’t read. “And here I was thinking that you were partly right about some of the things you said.” I was grateful that I had wrapped a warm shawl about my shoulders, the night air was cool.

His eyebrow arched. “Oh, I was.” He replied, “But that does not excuse the way I behaved.”

I nodded. “Okay.” I said slowly. “Were you going to just stand out here all night then or had you planned on coming in and telling me this?”

“When I went in to talk to you earlier you were sound asleep, I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Ah.” I said quietly, turning away from his intense stare. “I kind of wish you had.”

“I’ll be honest with you, A’myshk’a, you drive me to distraction.” He said plainly. “Never in my life have I come across anyone quite like you. Nor have I ever experienced the wide range of emotions you seem to delight in putting me through. This relationship of ours is problematic at best and at worst, wrecks constant havoc on my well laid order and plans.”

I held my breath and my heart thumped in my chest as I readied myself for the we should stop seeing each other speech which I was sure was coming. I opened my mouth to say something but he shut me up by placing his forefinger gently on my lips and continued to speak. “I have never thought of myself as a man with a jealous nature. I am ambitious and probably also proud, but not jealous. Tonight’s little incident proved me wrong and I handled it very poorly. I took my anger at what Zaarin did out on you. It was not my intent to raise my voice or imply the things I did.”

I looked up at him puzzled. That had not been what I had expected. I took a deep breath. “Well, as disagreements go, this was a pretty normal one, if you ask me.” I said slowly. “Tame in comparison to some of the fights I used to have with papa.”

He nodded. “The Chiss do not fight. Nor do we have loud, angry arguments about anything. We are taught from very early on to contain our feelings and choose a logical not an emotional course of action. Humans are utterly chaotic in this respect. It is a wonder to me sometimes how anything in this galaxy ever gets accomplished.” He paused. “Having an orderly discussion with you on a topic that you are emotionally involved in is nearly impossible.” He said. “I am unused to this method of conflict on such a personal level. You make things not calm, not logical. Sometimes it is like living with a never ending, wild and unpredictable storm.”

“Well,” I said quietly, “At least it’s not boring.”

He gave a short laugh. “No, you are anything but dull, my dear.”

“The Sand People have a saying. Without the wild winds there would be no beautiful dunes.” I told him.

“Yes, there is a Dantassi saying much like that only it has to do with snow not sand.”

For a moment we were quiet, just looking at one another. Then I asked a little uncertainly. “So…I won’t have to pack my things and move back to the palace?”

He opened his mouth then shut it again and gave me a look which said remind me which planet are you from again? “What in Da’hajn’s name made you think that?”

“I tend to assume the worst these days.” I said with a little shrug. “You were very angry.”

He smiled. “You do have a knack for stirring me up, as it were.” He said, I just looked up at him and sighed.

“I don’t mean to, most of the time.” I replied. “So, I don’t have to leave then?” I gave him a little grin to hide the fact that I really needed to hear him say it.

“No.” he said then added, “I have told you before, I am bound to you.”

“What exactly does that mean?” I asked.

“That I won’t be breaking up with you over something that was not entirely your fault to begin with.” he replied.

“That’s not really an answer.”

“Yes it is, just not one you were expecting.” He countered. “How is your face?”

I touched the place where Zaarin had backhanded me, the swelling on my lip had gone down and if he had not mentioned it I would have forgotten about the bruise. “It’s fine.”

He said, “So it won’t hurt if I do this.” His hand cupped the back of my head, his fingers snaking under my hair as he drew my face up to his. He kissed me slowly, tenderly. Relief washed through me as I kissed him back. When the kettle peeped to let me know the water had boiled, he broke from me to ask, “Do you still want to make tea?”

“Uhm, not really.” I breathed.

“Good.”

“Why?”

“We have a conversation to finish.”

“I thought we were done fighting.” I frowned.

“We are.” He said. “I am speaking of the discussion we began before you left the flat this evening.”

“Oh.” I replied. “I guess arguing with me wasn’t on your list of fun things to do this evening?”

“No. It was not.” He said and he began to show me what was on his list of fun things to do.

The culmination slow and elegant seduction through our letters, the verbal foreplay from before the evening’s events coupled with our anger at what had happened was so powerful I felt as though we would implode from it. Fighting, it seemed, built up a lot of passion and all that energy had to go somewhere; I liked his current solution better than the one from earlier on.

Thrawn was fierce and dominant, stirring me up like sand dancing in a windstorm. With his mouth, his hands and his body he marked the territory of what he had claimed was his. I didn’t argue about ownership rights and I matched his intensity with my own, untamed and wild. I, too, had teeth and nails. The Chiss prided themselves on their cool logic, and had done their very best to train their kind to eschew all public displays of emotion but I knew better than to believe this all went bone deep. Thrawn was a man of intense passions, though well schooled by his people in the art of playing it cool, he allowed himself, on occasion, to be free of the constraints his lineage demanded. Ice to my fire, he melted and in doing so quenched the heat that threatened to incinerate me from the inside out. If I could have physically burned his name on the inside of my soul I would have. I wondered briefly if such passions as these would eventually die off and if so, what would be left in their place but these tiny doubts were soon forgotten as he made sure he my full attention.

In the quiet of the bedroom we moved like light on water. Our bodies rippled together as I sat astride his lap, riding upon him. His hands rested on my hips, holding me as he leaned against the headboard of the antique bed which I gripped tightly, trapping him within the circle of my arms. This was one of his favourite positions and when I had once asked him why this was, he had simply replied because it is one of the few times we see eye to eye. I had thought he was playing with words, just a joke answer but that was not the case. I had not really understood what he had meant.

There was so much power in our coupling that it sometimes amazed me we didn’t spontaneously combust from it. He had taught me well in the art of giving him pleasure just as he had learned how well to please me. I had come a long way from the first night he had taken me to his bed, wounded and nervous. I enjoyed giving as much as I received. It was the one place where I did not feel as though he were constantly trying to teach me a lesson in politics or tactics of some sort and occasionally I was able to surprise him. I wondered, for a moment, if it was possible for two separate beings to meld into one because that’s what it felt like, that’s what I wished for. As the world boiled around us and when the energy between us finally exploded, I felt as though I had shattered into a billion pieces.

I could feel his heart pounding in his chest as I shuddered against his body, now holding onto him tightly, my legs around his, thigh to thigh and my fingers digging into his back. Our laboured breathing was in perfect synch. For a singular point in time it really seemed as though we had become one, but that tiny moment passed in the wink of an eye.

In the wash of serenity that followed the manic passion, still wrapped about his body, I inhaled his scent deeply and, sighing contentedly, I rested my head upon his shoulder. He mistook it for a sigh of something else.

“Contrary to what you often seem to feel, the weight of the galaxy does not rest on your shoulders you know. That would be the Emperor’s job, tekari.” His fingers ran through my hair.

“I know that.” I said indignantly but his words made me smile, which had been his intent. I looked into his eyes. It awed me how much I felt for this man, the ache it gauging a great hole in the pit of my being. Too much, a little voice in the back of my mind whispered but I ignored it as I touched his face with the tips of my fingers, taking in the shape of his bones, the surface of his skin which was all shadowy lines in the bedroom’s dim light. For a moment we simply looked at each other. Then, drawing my face with both hands, to meet his, he kissed me before I could speak. I wondered, not for the first time, how a kiss could be so tender and yet at the same time so incredibly possessive. I did my best to return it in kind.

“Peyla’mer a’mal’yn.” He whispered in my ear. You belong to me.

“Zav’niaask nen kahden.” I murmured back without hesitation. Forever and always.

“Yes.” He growled so fiercely and so protectively that I looked up at him for an explanation. He gave none. I was his and that was that. It had never occurred to me before to ask if it worked the other way around. There was something unsettlingly familiar about these words and how they were said but I couldn’t place it.

“But you are also mine, aren’t you?” I asked, trying to shake the sense of having lived this scene already.

He studied my face carefully and nodded slowly. “Yes, bound by word and ritual.” He said very softly.

There was more going on here, underneath the surface of the words he spoke, but I could not decipher them. I felt the same weird electricity now as I had during the middle of the unmasking ceremony on Hjal. Some deeply meaningful thing being observed without me knowing or really understanding it. I looked him in the eyes and asked, “So this means that I am bound to you as well?”

I could not read the expression on his face. “Yes, in a manner of speaking, if that is your wish. Although it is not formally binding.”

“What does that mean, exactly?”

He caressed my face with the backs of his fingers. “There are some things which must be spoken aloud, witnessed and marked.” He said gently.

“This is some weird Dantassi thing you won’t explain to me and I will have to badger Navaari to tell me what it all means, isn’t it?”

“Something along those lines.” He said with a smile. “But for that to happen we must visit Hjal.”

“I’m game for that. Navaari’s always telling you to bring me and besides,” I grinned, “I miss him.”

“As he misses you.” He replied. He moved slightly so that he could see my eyes. I watched his face but I couldn’t read it. “A binding pledge is not given lightly and words spoken in the heat of passion can often be recanted or even regretted.” He said.

I just looked at him. “There is no one else, now or ever. I am yours. I don’t regret this, so deal with it.”

He laughed and kissed my forehead. “Such are my trials.” He smiled and I knew that this was all I would get from him on this topic but something in his tone of voice said my answer had greatly pleased him and some little missing puzzle piece had fallen into place between us. Goosebumps rippled down my arms and I shivered.

With the passion receding and the affection between us a quiet thing, I was cold now with no clothes on in spite of the warmth from his body. We moved apart then, one becoming two, and he pulled me down to lie beside him, tugging the covers up over us both. His long fingers traced the contour of my body, shoulder to hip and back. I would have though that in the aftermath of our coupling we would have been sleepy but that was not the case. Instead we lay thoughtful as though there were unfinished business to deal with.

“You know, the Empire is going to all nine Corellian hells and back.” I said, breaking the silence as I nestled into his body.

He moved to accommodate me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Things have not been running as smoothly as they should lately, that is true.”

I snorted. “It seems to me this entire galaxy is coming apart at the seams.”

“I suppose it must feel like that on occasion but really when one puts it all into some sort of perspective, what is going on is very small compared to the entirety of the galaxy.”

“So these defections that have been occurring lately are normal?”

There was a moment’s pause and I glanced up at him so I could see his face better. “Perhaps not so many in so short a time, but given the number of people who work for the Empire both from a military stand point as well as civilian, I don’t think it is so unheard of. It is however, unacceptable.” Thrawn replied. There was anger in his voice. Loyalty was one of the things he prized above all else.

“How did your little private promotion thing go?” I asked, changing the subject, there had been enough anger for one night.

He looked at me. “It was small and fairly unremarkable.” He said. “Attended by the Emperor, a few of his most trusted advisors, Lord Vader and a certain young lady he seems to hold in high esteem.”

That caught my attention.

“You know her as Lianna, I believe.”

“But that’s not her real name.” I said pointedly.

Now I had his attention. “I’m listening.”

“Her name is Mara Jade; she’s one of the Emperor’s agents.”

“Yes, I learned this tonight. She is an Emperor’s Hand, although I was under the distinct impression that she thinks she is the only one.” He said.

“Why would she think that? The Emperor has many agents.”

“Yes, you and I both know that. I suspect it is his way of controlling her, manipulating her.” He said.

“So why was she there anyway?” I asked failing to keep the sudden pang of jealousy I felt out of my voice.

Thrawn glanced at me, and caressed my face gently, lifting up my chin so that I knew what he had to say next he meant for me to pay close attention to. “Envy is not an emotion that you wear well, tekari. Put your claws away, you have no reason to feel threatened by her. She works for the Empire, as do you. She was there because the Emperor felt it was necessary I learn her true identity. You should feel sorry for her, not envious of her.”

I gave him my ‘what do you mean’ look. He continued. “She was taken from her family at a very young age and raised by Palpatine as his ward, raised by the Empire as it were. She has been bent and shaped to his will her whole life. She has never had what you had, a family who loved her or a proper childhood. She lives only to please Palpatine and do her duty. She has never known anything else. You have nothing to be jealous of and she has every reason to envy you.”

I just glanced at him. “Well I guess that would explain why she doesn’t like it when the Emperor shows favour on others.”

“She has never been allowed the luxury of friends. I am also certain that under Palpatine’s hand she has learned far more about distrust and disfavour in her young life than you ever will. Palpatine is a master at manipulation when it comes to bending others, something you have also experienced.”

I just nodded. I got the message and changed the subject back to the original topic. “Is it true that the Council of Twelve isn’t aware that you are one of them?”

“Yes, this is true.” He said.

“Why is that?”

“You would have to ask the Emperor that question.” He said with a slight shrug.

“I think I’ll pass.” I said, “So how long will your promotion be kept a secret?” I asked.

“Until the time is right to make it public and that is up to Palpatine. He has his reasons for all the secrecy.”

“He always does.” I said a little crossly.

He shifted, leaning up on elbow to stare at my face. “Do not underestimate the Emperor in anything he does, tekari, and do not assume to know the way of things. Not everything with Palpatine is as it appears to be. He is a man capable of such manipulations and machinations; I have never seen anyone as skilled in this art as he is.” He chided gently but underneath the softness of tone was an edge of cold steel.

“So why doesn’t he want anyone to know you are a Grand Admiral?” I asked.

He sighed as he lay back down, allowing me to reassert my territorial claim over his shoulder. “The quick answer is because he has stated there would only ever be twelve. I make thirteen. He wishes it to be a secret so it stays that way. The truth is, my dear, I don’t know who does know and who doesn’t. I only know that the Emperor has his reasons and I did not care to argue with him on them for the time being.”

“You think it has something to do with what ever is going on with Zaarin?”

I felt him smile as he stroked a lock of hair from my face. “That possibility had occurred to me. The Emperor has a disturbing knack for seeing the future of things.”

“That’s a force trick.” I told him. “But it isn’t always right or even accurate.”

“Have you ever seen into the future?”

I sighed. “I have had visions on a few occasions but I don’t know what they mean. Without context there is no way to discern meaning.”

“Give me an example.”

“I had one of you once. At the gallery show where we saw the Bernau pieces, do you remember?”

That caught his interest. “I remember you went as white as a Csillian snow field. You had claimed to have not eaten enough but that was a lie.”

I nodded. “It was a flash, really nothing more but so real, as if I had been some how transported into a different time and place. I saw you seated on some sort of command chair on a star destroyer, dressed in white, a Grand Admiral’s uniform. You were clutching your chest. There was blood running over your hands. What ever had happened had surprised you. You were not expecting it.” I shuddered involuntarily at this memory.

“Well, as you can see I am very much alive.” He said thoughtfully.

“I have no idea what it all means, when it will happen or even if it will ever happen. But I can tell you this, it had that feel to it. I know when I get a real vision because there is a quality to it that is just unlike anything else, not a dream or a memory. The only time anything I have seen has come true was when I was on Rothana but I read it wrong. I thought it meant that Lian…I mean Mara Jade would be killed, instead she was just wounded. So you see, without context there is no way to know meaning. And if it is the future, it can change because the future is fluid and relies on the past. It’s all terribly confusing.”

He was quiet for a log moment then he said, “So the skill is in actually learning how to read these visions then and not just having them?”

I nodded. “I guess so. I don’t know much about how it works and I don’t talk to Lord Vader about this subject any more because he got tetchy and violent the last time I tried. I don’t dare ask the Emperor because Sarlacc knows what he might do if he knew I had this ability as well.”

“Do you not think that the Emperor would have the experience and the skill to more accurately read visions of the future than you would?” He asked.

“I am sure he does, but would you not agree that even the Emperor is not perfect and could make mistakes?”

“Yes.”

“And if he is wrong about something important, something that could affect the entire balance of power?”

Thrawn drew a deep breath. “Well,” he said slowly, “that will be an interesting moment in time.”

“I think it would be terrible and chaotic. If he relies on this power to see ahead but misses some small detail or doesn’t account for some tiny element of surprise then everything could collapse.” I shivered at this thought. “I mean can you imagine a galaxy without the rule of the Emperor?”

“I imagine it would be messy.” He said quietly.

I glanced up at his face. “Not if you were around to step in and take over.”

He laughed a little. “Your faith in my abilities as a leader is overwhelming, sj’iu tekari.”

“People would follow you.” I said and I meant it.

“Only if they overcame their fear of my differences first.” He replied in a voice that said no more talk of this.

I sighed. “Are you sure you don’t want to just retire to Hjal, father my children and go hunting with Navaari?”

He smiled with a sigh. “That idea has such sweet appeal but I am duty bound to serve the Empire and my duty comes first. However, there is nothing stopping you from leaving Lord Vader’s employ and heading out to Hjal if you wanted.” He was teasing.

“Yes there is.” I said, poking him in the chest.

He wrapped his hand around mine. “And that would be?”

“You.” I said. “It’s too damned cold there and who would keep me warm at night?”

“Who indeed?” He murmured in my ear, sleep creeping into his voice.

I just nodded and sighed comfortably. He completed a part of my world I had never even known was lacking. What it was he got from me, I didn’t know but I hoped it was enough. We lay drowsy until just before dawn but we also did not speak. There were no more words. When I woke up it was late and he was gone.

The note he had left for me on the Kitchen counter said;

Mia tekari,
I hope that you slept well. There is stimcaf ready to go in the pot and fresh scones in the warmer. You were so fast asleep I thought it best to let you rest. Lord Vader has been called off world. He did not say how long he would be gone for. You officially have the day off. Given the events of yesterday I do not think you will complain. Shiv left a message asking if you were alright and he will try to get a hold of you later on this afternoon. I am sure that will entail lunch and you explaining a great deal.
I am not certain when I will be home but it should not be terribly late. I have dinner taken care of and plan on not letting you out of my sight this evening so for the sake of peace and quiet, will you please try to stay out of trouble between now and then?
Za’ar

I just stared at the note and waited for the stimcaf to brew. I grabbed the latest news flimsy, warmed up the scones he had left for me and sat down to read. I could not think of a better way to start my day. It was the last truly peaceful day and night I would know for a very long time.

In the City that never sleeps 13

I was sitting out on the balcony when Thrawn returned. I had bathedd, scrubbing my skin so hard it had almost glowed pink, and changed into comfortable clothes. I had a Dantassi blanket wrapped around my shoulders against the cool of the night and was nursing a large brandy. My face ached dully despite the pain-killers and the bruising by my swollen lip was a pretty shade of reddish purple. I did not move as he went through his usual routine. Once he had changed out of his dress uniform, washed up and gotten something to drink he joined me. I sat in one of the balcony chairs with my feet up against the railing; he came to stand with his back against the same balustrade, facing me. For a very long time neither of us said anything we sipped our brandy in silence.

Finally he broke the stillness. “So, do you care to explain what happened this evening without being cryptic?” He asked. He was tense and I could feel his annoyance and anger underneath his calm facade. This would not be a happy conversation.

I drew a deep breath and I told him. I kept it simple and as close to just the facts as I could. He listened without interruption or comment and when I was done it was his turn to take a deep steadying breath.

“Are you certain you did not misinterpret his intentions?” Thrawn asked carefully.

“He had his hand all over my breasts, he slapped my face when I told him to piss off and he ripped my dress, so I would say that me misunderstanding his intentions is a definite no.” I retorted hotly. I wasn’t exactly happy with what had had happened but I was certain I had not instigated it nor misread the situation at hand.

“Why did you let it get that far? Why did you not simply evade him?”

“Evade him? Like how? It’s my office not his and I did ask him to leave. Things didn’t get interesting until after he’d backed me up against the wall” I said. I didn’t tell Thrawn that I had kind of let that happen in the first place. “He was the one who said he was tired of hearing me say no to him. He was the one who decided to push.”

“So you just decided to play his game instead of getting away from him or calling for help?”

I scowled at him. Call for help, I thought? Who the hell would have come running at that time of night in a deserted part of the palace. Instead I said, “That’s complicated,” which was entirely the wrong thing to say.

“Well, un-complicate it for me. I want to know why you let it get that far.” He said dryly.

“It didn’t get that far at all.” I snapped.

“He tore your dress, he touched you in an inappropriate manner and he hit you. I’d call that far enough.” His voice had gone stone cold.

I sighed. “I wanted to stop him once and for all. I wanted to make it clear I am not part of the palace stable of pretty girls free for his taking.” I sipped my brandy. “If I had not made my stance there and then he would have just tried again some other time, maybe when he would have had more of an advantage over me. He made the mistake of thinking he was stronger than me and that fear of him would keep me in line. It didn’t even occur to him that I would fight back in the way I did, much less hurt him.” I said calmly. “Besides, I thought it would be a good opportunity.”

“A what?” He asked, clearly puzzled by this. I had momentarily stunned him. “The man wanted to physically assault you and you thought this was a good thing?” He hissed through clenched teeth.

“Well, yes, sort of.”

“Care to enlighten me on this particular line of thought because your logic escapes me.”

I drew a deep breath knowing he was not going to like what I said next at all. “Lord Vader wanted me to read him.” I said. “I thought that while he was distracted with other things Zaarin might let something slip.”

I could feel Thrawn’s anger swirl about him as he tried to contain it. “And did he?” he asked coldly.

I made a face. “Sort of, I got the impression he is planning some sort of overthrow of the government. A coup, maybe. He kept hinting at how different things would be after the Emperor was gone. That the Emperor’s rule would not last forever and I should make plans for a job change. For sure, he wants to get rid of the Emperor and wants to take his place. I got the distinct impression that what ever he has planned, he is very sure it will succeed and that it will happen sooner rather than later.”

Thrawn arched an eyebrow. “I don’t suppose you managed to seduce any actual details for these particular plans out of him, did you?” he asked, his voice still cool but now it carried a nasty edge I had never heard from him before.

I stared at him for a moment. His attitude was starting to piss me off. I drained my glass in one gulp. “No, and for the record I did not plan on seducing him at all. In fact I tried to stay the hell away from him but he had other ideas!” I said crossly. “I simply took advantage of an existing situation.”

“Yes,” He nodded, “an existing situation. His attentions to you at the dedication ceremony did not escape my attention. I should have thought that alone would have made you think twice about engaging him in any sort of conversation in private.”

“Engage him… in private…?” I didn’t know how to respond so I resorted to girl logic, “You’re making it sound as though I invited him to meet me in my office for exactly that purpose!” I said hotly. “If I had known he was following me I’d have gone someplace where he could not find me! I thought it was Shiv who was at the door when he knocked so I opened it. It didn’t occur to me that it would be Zaarin.”

Thrawn ignored my statement. “He was making a play for you at the dedication ceremony. The drink he handed you this evening was full of glow spice.”

“Yes and he knew exactly what it would do to me if I actually drank it.”

There was moment’s pause while Thrawn took in my words. “He lied about his knowledge of your allergy, then.” It wasn’t a question. We both knew that it had been Zaarin who had arranged the glow-spice laced cake which had damn near killed me.

I nodded.

“So, while he knows about your allergy he does not know about your force talents for reading truth from lie then.”

That hadn’t occurred to me. “I guess not.” I said with a little shrug. “I was hoping to maybe get something out of him that I could report to Lord Vader, something concrete not just a vague sense of ill will.”

“Instead you got attacked and he knows a whole lot more about you than he did several hours ago.”

“Would you rather that I’d played the victim and let him have his way with me?” I asked snarkily.

“I would rather none of this had happened at all! I told you to stay away from him!” He said sharply, losing some of his eerie façade of calm.

“Well, you failed to tell him to stay away from me!” I shouted.

“I am beginning to wonder if you deliberately manage to get yourself into these situations just to see how angry you can make me!”

“What?” I exploded, “This is not about you!”

“You court danger the way most people eat fruit.” His eyes were hard as he glared at me.

“Oh, for Sarlacc’s sake!” I exploded. “Zaarin wasn’t a threat to me! He’s an old man with grandiose ideas and a libido to match his ego!” I got up from my chair. Now I was cross. “He’s lucky I didn’t permanently damage him, which I could have and probably should have!”

“You didn’t report this did you?” Thrawn asked completely ignoring my outburst.

I made a noise of disgust. “Just how stupid do you think I am? Do you really think anyone would believe the truth? He is one of the Empire’s highest ranking, most respected officers and while you and a couple of other people know I am a tad more than palace fluff that’s not what would come across in an investigation. I am certain that no matter what the truth was, the reality of the situation would be distorted so that he was the victim and I was the one leading him on. I don’t want that, I don’t want my life, my relationships and everything I am dragged through the muck. No one really cares about the attempted rape of a ‘palace girl’; it happens all the time and gets ignored. Imperial men seem to think they can do what ever they please. I’ve heard enough horror stories from Shiv about this that I know no matter how much in the right I am it would never be presented that way. If I have learned anything by working here it is that sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all. I’ll bide my time, sooner or later Zaarin will get what he deserves.”

I took the long pause that followed for agreement. “Have you spoken to anyone else what you gleaned from your little foray into the world of seductive espionage?” He asked.

I shook my head. “No. I was going to tell Lord Vader when I see him next.”

“Don’t.” He commanded.

“What? Why not?”

“Because I asked.” He said in a tone of voice that said this was anything but a request. “Because I would rather let Zaarin think you had decided to forget the whole incident and say nothing about what he did.”

“Now who is playing games?” I shot back.

“Merlyn, stop it!” He raised his voice. He was finally angry, I had pushed enough. “It’s bad enough you land yourself in hospitals when you tangle with your friend from Tatooine but you make it far worse when play the spy for Lord Vader and get mixed up in things you have no idea about. You meddle in affairs better left alone. You have absolutely no idea what is going on so stay out of it!”

“I do not set these situations up!” I shouted at him. “Why are you making this so complicated?”

“I am not the one who makes things complex, my dear.” He said icily.

I stared at him for a moment. “What is really pissing you off here? Is it the fact that I didn’t do as you asked and stay away from Zaarin, even though he was the one chasing me or the fact that he tried to take by force what I give to you freely?” If Thrawn had been even remotely inclined to violence chances are good he would have slapped me after that statement instead a deadly stillness crawled over him. I would have welcomed violence in contrast to his unreadable calm.

“Have a care with how you speak to me on this incident.” He said softly. “Under Dantassi law this would be a very serious matter.”

For a moment he had floored me then I said, “Dantassi law has nothing to do with this!”

“I am your ta’kasta’cariad.” He replied. “I am required by our Dantassi laws to protect you, to keep you from harm.” That was not the whole truth of it but I didn’t think this was the right time to ask for clarity.

“Oh, like you kept me from harm by dragging me to Myrkr?” I asked as I hiked up my skirt and pointed to the large white scar on my thigh, reminding him of the injuries I had sustained on that planet. Technically this was unfair as he had taken me to Myrkr before he had taken on his Dantassi role in my life. His jaw clenched and his body language said he had not expected me to throw that back in his face. It was entirely the wrong button to push but I couldn’t help it. “And none of this has anything to do with the current situation!” I wondered, briefly, how far I could wind him up and push him before he would explode at me. I decided I wasn’t sure I wanted to experiment with this right and bit my tongue to keep from saying anything else that might dig the hole deeper.

“It has everything to do with this situation.” He countered. “You are a chaotic menace to order and careful planning in every single way possible.”

I blinked at him for a second then let my mouth get the better of me. “Oh, I’m sorry, am I stepping on your toes? Have I stumbled on some plan or nefarious scheme I wasn’t supposed to? Do you actually know what is going on with Zaarin?”

He drew a deep breath, trying to keep his temper in check. “It’s no secret to me and a few others that Zaarin wants more power. It is also no secret that he does not appreciate the Emperor’s method of ruling. I have been studying his moves at great length for some time now and I believe I know him well enough to gain some insight into what he will do but you are making this job difficult.”

“I am making your job difficult?” I almost exploded. “How can I make your job difficult when I don’t even know what that is?” I asked. “May I remind you that Zaarin is the one who came after me! I just went to my office to get some bloody work done. I did not ask him to show up uninvited and prove how big of a man he is!” I yelled. “You make it sound as though I deliberately enticed him to come after me!”

“Did you?” He asked frostily.

I didn’t think about it I just flung my empty brandy glass at him. When he actually caught it in his hand it infuriated me to the point of being irrational.

“I’ll take that as a no.” He said calmly as he set my glass down on the floor.

“Is it so unbelievable that he would actually come after me without me doing anything to encourage him?” I asked. “Or do you, along with everyone else in this Sarlacc forsaken galaxy, think I am just a cheap palace whore?”

He jaw tightened and he drew a deep breath, “I did not think Zaarin would be so desperate to prove his manhood that he would chance coming after you like this. It would appear I underestimated his libido and the bruising his ego has taken at your hand.” He said tartly. “Never speak of yourself in that manner again. You dishonour me, you dishonour Kirja’navaar’inkjerii and most of all you dishonour yourself. This I will not have.” We stared at each other for a moment. We had never fought like this before and I didn’t know how to untangle the mess we were making.

“So what you are really saying is you underestimated me.” I stated flatly.

His answer held a nasty edge to it. “I only underestimate how well you seem to manage getting into ridiculous situations that land you in a med lab!”

I shook my head and stormed back inside the flat. He was making me cross, this conversation was making me cross and what had happened earlier on in the evening made me cross as well. It was not a very good way to end an evening. I heard him follow me in, closing the door behind him. He caught my arm and pulled me around to face him. I didn’t fight his grip but he let go of me as soon as he saw my expression. I was fed up of being man handled and some of that must have shown on my face. The air between us crackled. I folded my arms across my chest defiantly and waited for the lecture I knew was coming.

“What you did tonight was foolish. Brave on some level maybe, but truly foolish and Vader has no right to ask you to spy on Zaarin, force talents or not.” He said firmly. “Zaarin thinks that he is unobserved and free to do as he wishes. If he even suspects his plans are discovered he’ll change them and make it that much harder to deal with when the time comes. He may come off like a stupid middle aged man whose desire for a young palace girl clouds his judgement but let me tell you he is far more intelligent than you seem to give him credit for. I am assuming that he thought you would be an easy target tonight due to all the rumours that were flying around you and me. Perhaps he had a little too much port at dinner or something and once he came after you, I strongly suspect you helped him out in the desire department hoping to egg him on in a misguided attempt to lure some information from him. Now he has a real reason to hate you and he knows just how sharp your teeth are. He won’t underestimate you again. You had just better hope he doesn’t think you’ve figured out something of his plans because he will stop at nothing to make sure he eliminates any threats to his power. This includes you. While you have a place of some small importance in the Imperial court, make no mistake, you can be replaced. Aside, perhaps, from the Emperor, everyone in this galaxy is expendable.”

I knew he was mostly right but I hated to admit it so I didn’t say anything. Thrawn took my silence for stubbornness and pressed his point. With my arms folded, I gritted my teeth and glared at him. He stared back at me. Neither of us was backing down.

“Stay away from Zaarin. I am not asking you. I am telling you.” I knew this tone of voice and it was non negotiable.

Petulance made me snarky, “Fine!” I snapped.

“Then we have an understanding.” He said in a manner which told me he thought everything was settled.

“No, I don’t think we do!” I said crossly. “I don’t understand you at all!” I yelled at him. “And you sure as hell do not understand me!” My outburst puzzled him but I wasn’t about to try and explain why I was now so pissed off because I wasn’t sure I knew myself. It was probably a girl thing.

We stared at each other for a moment then I turned around and stormed away from him, into the spare bedroom and slammed the door as hard as I possibly could. I could not ever recall a time when both of us had been so angry or said so many unpleasant things to each other before and I had no idea how to undo it all. I stood with the door at my back and swallowed down my anger, letting out the breath I felt I had been holding since the evening had begun. It occurred to me that I did not have the upper hand in this situation, and by locking myself into the small bedroom I had essentially backed myself into a corner. With a snort, I went and flung myself down on the bed. I wondered if my world was crashing down around me, if I should pack my things and go back to living in the palace and never see Thrawn again but somewhere in the back of my addled brain I knew this was over reacting.

My father and I had often fought, especially after the death of my mother. The shouting matches in the house had been spectacular and usually ended with me storming off. Unlike Thrawn, my father had a temper that matched my own and I used to wonder why we didn’t cause lightening to crash inside the house when we sparked against each other, usually over something stupid I had done. At least fighting with my father had been satisfying somehow, as though airing the anger and frustration between us somehow cleansed the spirit. Fighting with Thrawn was like fighting a great wall of impenetrable silence. I did not know how to battle his calculating logic and icy calm and I had really wanted to make him mad, to get him shouting at me because that the only way I knew how to fight. Loud, emotional and with sparks flying I could deal with, unnerving quiet calm put me completely off balance.

As I lay on the bed with my arms folded crossly over my chest it occurred to me that just maybe Thrawn was not so wrong in his over all assessment of what had happened. It had probably not been the brightest move to allow things to play out as they had and now instead of Zaarin just being an annoying pest, he had become an enemy. I closed my eyes and sighed. I was suddenly very tired. It had been a long, awful evening and I just wanted it to go away. Despite my anger, curiously enough, I fell asleep almost instantly.

In the City that never sleeps 12

By the time I had finished changing and sorting my self out, the reception was well underway. As I entered the hall, I looked around but didn’t see the Emperor or Thrawn. I did see Shiv and Ynyth who along with Bobbyn were waving like mad at me to get my attention. As I made my way through the crowd to meet them I stopped one of the waiters handing out drinks.

“Do you have anything besides that fizzy stuff?” I asked.

“Yes miss, whatever you like, I can get you form the bar.” He replied politely.

“In that case I’d really like a Corellian double brandy kiss.” I said and with a nod he vanished to fulfill my drink wish.

Shiv was the first to comment. “There you are, we were about to send out a search party.” He said.

I grinned. “No need. I’m here. What did I miss?” I asked.

“Not much. It would appear that all the important people have vanished on some secret meeting and left us to fend for ourselves.” He said in a mock whisper. “What about you, what happened?”

“A little accident. I was not watching where I was going.” I said with a small shrug.

“Well, good that you keep extra clothes here, I guess.” Shiv said as he gave me the once up and down. “But the other dress fit you better.”

I nodded. “I know, but I kinda like the blue and all that pink does tend to make me feel like a china doll.”

“Did you hit your face?” Ynyth asked suddenly, the light catching the bruising starting show under the make up.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I feel dumb enough as it is.” I had hoped no one would really notice but my friends always did.

She looked at me and nodded. I could see by the expression in her eyes that she, like the others, thought Lord Vader had done this. He had hurt me often enough and left his mark on my face that it was an easy thing to assume. I did not correct them but something about my hesitation had alerted Shiv and he would not let the matter drop.

“It’s not like you to be clumsy; in fact you are one of the most graceful people I know. You wouldn’t be lying to me would you?” He said quietly, taking me aside.

“If I was would you understand that if something else had happened this is neither the time nor the place to speak of it?”

He drew a deep breath and nodded. “Yes, but you better fill me in later or else.” He waggled his finger at me. I just nodded and when the waiter came with my drink I took it from him gratefully and drank a large steadying gulp.

We kept the conversation light, laughed at the silliness we saw around us, made fun of guests and courtiers alike but if I had been asked what had been said I couldn’t have answered. It was a blur.

The reception was surprisingly well attended which meant that Shiv and Ynyth were busy making small talk with whomever came over and joined our little circle. Neither Bobbyn nor I minded being left to our own devices and for the most part we were quite content to just watch the crowd in silence. Bobbyn was always the quiet one but ever since Antygra’s arrest and execution he had withdrawn even further in to his shell. I never knew if he blamed me for what had happened to Tygs or if it was just that with Tygs gone the group dynamics had changed. I had been accepted as one of them only through Shiv’s insistence, Ynyth as his mate had backed him up and somewhere along the line we had also become friends after a fashion but I was Vader’s handmaiden, and no one really trusted me despite what appearances they gave. I didn’t mind not having many friends, it meant less hurt when one of them betrayed me.

It was easy to tell when the Emperor had entered the hall because the electrified quiet that washed over us made me shiver. I looked to the entrance and saw Lord Vader follow in his master’s footsteps. The hushed awe that had settled over the room receded slowly and soon the noise level was back to where it had been before the Emperor and his second in command walked in surrounded by a sea of red from the Royal Guard and the gaggle of colourful courtiers.

I was surprised to see Lord Vader in attendance because he had told me he would not come. I guessed that the Emperor had ordered him to show his face, so to speak, and this meant that Lord Vader would be in a foul mood. I made a mental not to stay away from him because the two of us in a mood was never a good combination. Despite the cheery happy face I was putting on underneath all the fancy dress and finery what I really wanted to do was hurt something. The last thing I needed was a reason and someone to goad me into it. Lord Vader had a knack for picking up my moods and he always knew how to needle me. I didn’t want him to try that in public, bad mood or not.

The Emperor, on the other hand, must have been a great mood because he was actually mingling, something he rarely did any more. There had been many rumours about this failing health. In the few public appearances he had made where I had been present I had noticed he seemed older, shrunken somehow, as though the use of the Force was consuming him from the inside out. I had often wondered what toll using the force as he did must take. I knew from my own small experiences that after it I was very weary. Everything was energy and all that energy had to go some where, my uncle had once said to me. The Force is energy, using it takes its toll, be careful how you wield your power lei’lei. I watched the Emperor carefully, looking for signs of illness or weakness but I saw neither and the power that radiated from him was as strong if not stronger than it had ever been. He moved through the crowd with exquisite grace, Lord Vader at his side a towering, clumsy nightmare, dressed in black to scare. I wondered how many would be scared of him if they knew what he had been before the mask? A reckless hero, desperate for the recognition and love of those too haughty, too blinded by pride, to give it to him. In many ways, I thought, he was still like this, looking to Palpatine for acknowledgement and praise. Despite all the evil he had done, I did not hate Lord Vader, the same could not be said for the shrunken old man at his side.

I was lost in thought when Thrawn, speaking with one of the Emperor’s advisors, made his way gracefully down the stairs that led from the entrance. He was elegance personified and I could not take my eyes off him. I was not alone; other heads turned to look at the blue skinned, red eyed alien whose favour came and went at the Emperor’s whim. I wondered what the courtiers would say if they ever learned the truth. They thought Thrawn was a puppet, a distraction of the Emperor's whose grace at court was tolerated only because he was good at battle tactics. I wondered if the Emperor even knew how deep Thrawn’s brilliance went, and who it was that was manipulating who. He moved with a languid ease through the crowd and my heart raced at the sight of him, though I did my absolute best not to show it. I watched him until he made eye contact with me, and wove his way to where I was standing. Shiv and the others decided that now would be a good time to give me a little space and drifted off into the direction of the buffet table.

Thrawn smiled when he reached me but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I distinctly recall you wearing pink when you left the flat earlier this evening, my dear.” He said quietly.

I nodded, returning smile with one of my own. “And as always, your memory would be perfectly correct.” I sipped my very strong drink.

He gave me a curious glance, the tone of my voice let him know that something wasn’t quite right. “Is everything in order?” He asked quietly.

“If we are talking about the pink dress rule, then yes.” I glanced over my shoulder and saw that Zaarin had finally made his entrance. He was too proud to retreat and it would have looked very bad for him, not showing up as all the other members of the Council of twelve were there and had been long before I had arrived. He didn’t look so well. I was glad.

Thrawn followed my gaze, watching me watch Zaarin. “The pink dress rule?” he asked, his eyebrow lifting slightly.

“Every time I wear a pink dress something bad happens to me.” I said lightly, glancing at Zaarin again from over the rim of my glass. His hand went to his throat often which made me smile.

Thrawn gave me a look which said ‘Explain!’

I turned my attention back to him. “I want you to do something for me.”

He nodded. “If I can.”

“I want you to smile and nod as though the conversation we are about to have is light and fluffy.”

“Merlyn, what is going on?” He asked, frowning slightly.

“Smile.” I urged and glanced around quickly to see where Zaarin was now then turned my attention back to Thrawn. “We are having a lovely time at this wonderful event but I will be heading home soon.” I said through clenched teeth. The flirtatious tilt of my head did not quite match the venom in my voice.

“Are you ill?” he asked.

“No, but I am angry. If I stay here all evening I might do or say something that won’t make anyone very happy. ” I chattered gaily. Then once again looked about to see where Zaarin was heading. Thrawn’s gaze followed mine and for a moment we stood in silence. Then I said. “This event is well attended, don’t you think? All the Grand Admirals are here, even Zaarin.”

“Indeed, although I am surprised to see him arrive so late.” Thrawn said. “I thought he would already be here, there was no Council of Twelve meeting before hand and he is neurotic about punctuality.”

“Well, maybe some fluffy distraction detained him.” I said cheerfully.

Something in my voice made Thrawn study me carefully. “What really happened to your dress?” He asked coldly.

“The dress was unfortunately damaged beyond repair.” I answered. It was the truth.

I watched the muscle in Thrawn’s jaw twitch as he clenched his teeth. “How?”

“Delicate fabric doesn’t tend to do well against brute strength.” I replied.

I knew when he had noticed the bruising I had tried to hide under the makeup because he frowned ever so slightly, his eyes narrowing, and reached over, moving my chin with the tip of his finger to see it better. I felt a ripple of anger from him. “Did you and Vader have a disagreement?” His voice was hard but he kept his expression neutral.

“I will answer that question of yours with a no.” I giggled, sipped my drink and glanced in Zaarin’s direction. “The Grand Admiral doesn’t look so well this evening, does he?”

Thrawn watched where I was looking but said nothing. From under dark lashes he studied the Admiral’s demeanor carefully then looked back at me. “Is he limping?”

“It would appear he has some sort of groin injury judging by his walk. Perhaps he pulled it trying out a new sport, a one on one sport that requires aggression and submission to work properly.” I bantered lightly.

Thrawn stared at me for a moment. It didn’t take him long to put it all together.

“Something happened between you and Zaarin.” His voice had gone flat.

I tilted my head to one side, “Nothing a good knee to his groin couldn’t solve.” I smiled sweetly.

“Merlyn, did he…?” He began.

“He tried.” I answered, cutting him off quickly from voicing his thoughts. I sipped at my drink.

I watched as Thrawn worked to maintain his calm. “Are you….?”

“I’m fine. I am a big girl and I can take care of myself against the likes of him. I’ll have some bruises on my face but nothing worth writing home about.” I said with a casual shrug. “Believe me, he didn’t get what he bargained for and he won’t try it again. He’ll be having… performance issues for a while.”

Thrawn turned away from me. I felt his anger came off him in waves. I watched as he drew a deep breath under the guise of flagging down a waiter. When he turned back to face me he had his emotions under control. I didn’t think that anyone else in the room would even notice that he was upset. He hid his feelings so well that even I would have not seen it unless I had known exactly what to look for.

“Shall I take you home?” He asked coldly as he touched his glass to mine and pretended to sip at his drink.

“No. I need to show him he didn’t win, which is why you need to smile at me.” I told him.

He did one better. Not only did he smile but he reached over and caressed the side of my face tenderly as though we were simply flirting with one another not discussing Zaarin’s attempted assault. It was a gesture that did not go unnoticed. I hoped that it would quell some of the negative rumours and maybe give the gossips something to talk about that did not lead in a Merlyn - Zaarin direction. I did not think it would be prudent for anyone to even imagine anything had happened between he and I, especially not the truth.

Thrawn’s hand slipped behind my hair, around the back of my neck and he drew me close to him, his grip unyielding, so that he could whisper in my ear. “You had better damned well be prepared to enlighten me in full when I return home.” He said, his voice was whip sharp and ice cold. “Now, Miss Gabriel, I do believe it is your turn to pretend everything is light and fluffy.” I had never know him so angry but he hid it remarkably well.

I pulled back from him and turned away shyly and pretended to smile even though his quiet fury had unnerved me. “You should mingle now, otherwise people will talk.” I told him nibbling on my pinkie finger.

He glanced at my trembling hands and said, “People will talk anyway. This evening appears to be rife with rumour, particularly about you and me. I did not know we had such an interesting private life both together and apart.” He replied with such disdain that for a moment I let go of the part I was playing to stare at him, hurt and angry.

“Remember where you are, A’myshk’a.” He spoke softly in Cheunh.

I drew a deep breath and found my smile but it made my jaw ache. “The Imperial Court does love its intrigue.” I said in Basic. “But this keeps the gossips from digging up the real news from behind the scenes, so I don’t mind. Perhaps we can swap stories later on?”

He nodded. “Certainly I shall wish to hear yours.” He replied with a cold smile that went nowhere near his eyes.

I gave him a sweet, girly giggle. The strong drink I was slowly sipping helped me play the coquette. “Enjoy the rest of the evening.” I told him quietly and then I walked away from him without looking back.

I found my way to where Shiv was standing, laughing at something Ynyth had said. I joined in their conversation for about half an hour then I told Shiv I was going home because I wasn’t feeling so well.

“You do look a bit pale. Maybe that accident you had some more damage than you thought? You could stop by the med-lab on your way. ” He said.

“No, I’m fine really, it’s just a headache and I am quite tired.”

“Do you want me to run you home?”

I shook my head. “No, thanks you stay and enjoy the party. I’ll get one of the palace drivers to drop me off.”

“Okay, kiddo. I’ll talk to you tomorrow then.” He said and we all went through the kiss-kiss ritual.

I handed my still half full glass to the nearest waiter and meandered through the crowd to leave.

I was almost to the entrance when the Emperor intercepted me. Standing at his side was Grand Admiral Zaarin and several royal guards.

“There you are my dear,” He said. “I was hoping to see you here.”

I curtsied. “Your Highness. The dedication you gave earlier was lovely. The new wing is quite spectacular.” I babbled. I had hoped to avoid seeing Zaarin again so close, so soon.

“Thank you my dear.” He said. “You know Demetrius Zaarin, don’t you?” he asked, gesturing to Zaarin at his side.

I smiled as genuinely as I could. “Yes, we are acquainted with each other.” I said looking at the Grand Admiral. He stared back at me, his eyes were as cold as the smile he managed to give me. I could feet the hate coming off him in waves and knew that if I could sense it so could the Emperor. I shivered involuntarily.

“I was just telling Demetrius about your Bunduki skills and how well you carried yourself at the trials you last took.”

My smile stayed exactly as it was but my anger grew. “Is that so? I didn’t know the Admiral was interested in that sort of thing.”

The Emperor smiled. “Demetri commented on what a delicate little thing you are. I merely told him that looks could be deceiving, you are quite talented.” He said.

“As always, your Highness is very kind with his praise.” I said demurely.

“Oh come now, child, you have done very well in your training. Your skills in defense are to be admired and spoken of.” The Emperor smiled. Then he turned to Zaarin and added. “She was challenged to a death match and killed her opponent, even though she had a punctured lung and a dislocated shoulder. Our Miss Gabriel is really quite lethal, you know.” He said, “Goodness knows what she would do if her fury was truly unleashed.”

Zaarin glanced at the Emperor. “Oh really?” he asked. His voice was still a little hoarse. “One would never suspect such a thing of a simple office girl.”

“Indeed, as I said, looks can be terribly deceiving.” The Emperor said, with a wide, toothy grin.

Zaarin wouldn’t look at me directly and that made me smile a little more. “I have excellent teachers.” I said. “I owe everything I have learned to your kindness, your Highness.” I wondered what he would say if I suddenly dropped the bomb that the Grand Admiral at his side really wanted to kill him and take over his place as ruler of the galactic empire. Then I wondered if that was something the Emperor already knew. It certainly wouldn’t surprise me in the least; he seemed to know everything else.

The Emperor chuckled. “Indeed, child.” He said. “Oh and speaking of looks, what happened to the pretty dress you were wearing earlier? I rather liked the pink, it suited you.”

“I had a little accident and the dress was unfortunately torn.” I said. It was the truth, sort of.

“Oh I do hope that it wasn’t anything serious.” He commented. “Did you hurt your face at the same time?”

I glanced at Zaarin before I could stop myself. He had the good grace to flush and look away. I smiled and then shook my head. “Your Highness’s concern is most touching but really I am fine, I tripped and stumbled, nothing to worry about.”

The Emperor patted my arm. “Then I am glad to hear it. I should be distressed if anything were to happen to you. I do so enjoy your company and your unique talents make you a valuable asset to my court.”

I could feel Zaarin's discomfort coming off him in waves and I was almost certain that the Emperor knew something of what had happened. I feigned embarrassment and glanced away shyly. “Your Highness is very kind.” I said.

“Well, child, I have other guests I must attend to, enjoy your evening. I make certain we have further opportunities to talk when I have more time. I shall let you know.”

“I would be honoured, your Highness.” I dropped another curtsey and smiled waited until he had left, with Zaarin at his side, then as quickly as I could I got out of the reception hall. I could not get home fast enough and the driver had broken several speed limits for me when I had threatened to sic Lord Vader on him.

In the quiet of the flat, I wondered as I stripped off the finery and ran a bath, why I didn’t just get on the nearest transport and get the hell off this planet. It was a question I had no answer for.