The Other Side of Grace 3

I surveyed the mess in my living room and then looked at Shiv who just shrugged and smirked.

“You want something to drink?” I asked.

“’Fraid not.” He said. “I need to get in some last minute work before tomorrow, it being a holiday and everything. I guess I don’t need to ask what you’ll be doing.” He told me eyeing the pile of books and holo films that littered about the living room table.

I just laughed. “I still can’t believe he had the whole set of Jeb Holloway books there.”

Shiv shook his head. “I can’t believe he gave you such a good discount, they’re worth a lot.”

“Perks of working for the Empire, I guess.”

Shiv made a face. “Bevin Glack hates the empire but he is a sucker for a pretty face who makes baby bearded jax eyes at him.”

“Oh, you noticed that, did you?”

“You, missy, are a shameless minx who shall come to a nasty end on the wrong side of the planet.” He said in the weirdest attempt at an accent I had ever heard.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” I laughed.

He nodded towards the pile of holo books and films. “Well, read that lot and you will. I gotta run, see you tomorrow for lunch, don’t forget then gang’s all going to be there so be prepared for the inquisition. They are dying to know about everything.”

“Roger that. Thanks Shiv, I had fun this afternoon.”

He smiled and nodded. “Later kiddo,” he said doing his usual kiss, kiss thing. “Don’t stay up all night reading!”

I was still smiling when I locked the door and went back to make tea. In difference to what Shiv thought I actually had other things on my to-do list than read, I had a letter to write.

Mia e’Tekari,
I laughed at your opening paragraph, engine rooms are great places, you know. And you should always listen to the sound of your ship even if you are now some high up admiral who doesn’t have to get his hands dirty with engine grease and hyperdrive fluid. I don’t know that I could ever let someone else control how my ship’s engines ran. That would drive me bats.

You were right in that Lord Vader was not surprised about who and what my birth mother was. In fact he knew her a little, not well enough to make an immediate connection but perhaps on some subconscious level there was recognition. Lord Vader is not a stupid man but sometimes he is quite single minded and he occasionally misses the little details or maybe he just doesn’t care about them that much.

I have been thinking a lot about what you said about this knowledge bringing me closure and to some extent you are right but on the other hand there are still a lot of questions open. I think Navaari would be proud though, I spent a great deal of time on Tatooine talking with my father, really talking, especially after finding out about my birth parents and being banished from Lord Vader’s side. I think, at first he was worried I might try to go off on some half cocked mission to find out more about who my birth mother really was, but I don’t need to do that. Her lightsaber, which she had sent to me via Rikka Blane told me all I needed to ever really know. That’s a force trick, I’ll tell you about later.

I would very much like to learn more about the clone soldiers but I would rather it waited until you were here and not done through letters. I hope you can understand that. I did try to find some information on them here but it is not easy to do and even my clearance doesn’t allow that sort of access and, no I am not about to try slicing the Imperial mainframe. I don’t need Intel breathing down my neck. I have already heard some serious horror stories about Ysanne Isard including a rumour that she had her father framed and executed so she could take his place as Director of Imperial Intelligence. Frankly, she creeps me out, although I suppose that is sort of her job. I have seen and occasionally spoken with her at a couple of the many of the palace events we’ve attended. I think she that she is just more interested in trying to figure out where I fit into the scheme of things than being friendly. So far, I get the feeling she is convinced I am just Lord Vader’s pet office girl and I am, in this case, very happy to play the part. I have heard whispers about what happens to those who get in her way.

I did ask Lord Vader about the possibility that my birth mother had passed along some unusual gifts to me. He told some interesting things. The Jedi, it seemed trained infants by methods that included some sort of mind touch. Melding and shaping the babies’ minds before they could form opinions and attachments of their own, seems a bit creepy if you ask me, but anyway…Lord Vader said that Jedi L’uanna had some seriously powerful gifts in this area and she used to train infants. He said it was possible for her to have somehow passed along knowledge to me. We got to talking about other force gifts and it seems there are many and they vary from person to person and whether or not you are a user of the light side or the dark side. I must admit this light side / dark side thing is confusing. It is so black and white but people are just not like that.

So, according to Lord Vader I have three very strong talents, telepathy, empathy and psychometry. I also have telekinesis, the ability to move objects with thought, but he said that was child’s play for most force users who had any talent at all and I can sometimes step into another’s being’s mind and ‘push’ them a little or a lot depending on how weak minded they are. This is not one of those talents I like to talk about or use, although I have on occasion. There are other abilities that I can learn but I need a teacher who is able to spend time with me and that’s something Lord Vader has very little of these days. The ones I have listed above are the talents I have naturally, that developed on their own without any real training. I do see a difference now from two years ago. Practice and Lord Vader’s teachings have helped me sharpen these skills.

The empathy part you know about, you’ve experienced that. I had thought it was just my ability to feel and sense the emotions of others but apparently it works both ways and I can send as well as receive. Lord Vader suspects this is strong in me because it was something my mother was very good at. It allows me the very handy ability to tell when someone is lying or not. He said this was a useful and somewhat unique little side line.

Telepathy is my second strongest gift and it is often how I and Lord Vader communicate when he doesn’t want to try and sort out my addled descriptions of things. I can send him images, thoughts and words directly into his mind and vice versa and no it’s not always pleasant but it gets the job done fast. I have to be close to him physically to do this, although he tells me that it is possible for someone powerful enough with this gift to hear and send thoughts as far away as across the galaxy. I joked that it was a good thing I wasn’t that strong because I could then bother him all the time, but he didn’t find it all that funny. I truly like working for and with Lord Vader but he has no sense of humour most of the time or maybe it is just that he doesn’t get mine at all.

It was the last and probably the least likable of my own force gifts that we both spent a lot of time talking about, my ability to pick up the memories from an inanimate object. For me this gift is unreliable and frustrating. I simply have no words to describe what it feels like to touch something only to be flooded with memories and emotions that were never mine. It doesn’t happen all the time and the strength of the images, the sensations varies greatly. Mostly, though, it feels like hell. Lord Vader says I really, really need to work on control and practice a lot more. He likened me to an ungrounded power coupling, sending sparks all over the place.

There are many different aspects of the Force and the various powers that go along with it. Lord Vader was in a good mood when we spoke about these things and he gave me some data on the various abilities telling me that perhaps he might be able to help develop some of them, when he does have time. I copied some of the more pertinent data on to the enclosed chip for you, since you asked. Do you have force users among your own people?

I told him about what happened when I held the lightsaber A’kali L’uanna had left for me. He was not surprised that I had learned so much about her from that. She was my birth mother and the connection between us would have been forged probably even before birth. He said while it was very frowned upon there have been Jedi children born and it was noted that the connection between the mother and the babies was often far stronger than that of normal parents with force sensitive children. He was curious about why I had hidden the lightsaber away; I suspect he wanted to see it. I told him I never wanted to ever touch it again as long as I lived. I mean, in the end, it’s not as if I will ever use it as a weapon anyway. He seemed surprised by this but he didn’t force the issue. He doesn’t have this force gift of psychometry so he doesn’t understand what it is like, how awful it really is. I asked my uncle to hide the stupid thing away. I half hope he’ll destroy it but I know him better than that. Anyway, those are my particular force talents. Lord Vader says that had I been found and trained as a Jedi in the days of the Republic I would have been slightly above mediocre. I just laughed when he said that. I could live with being mediocre, after all that generally doesn’t get you killed in the Empire’s service, where as being good at what you do does.

Yesterday, I finished the Hallet Fenbach book you sent, you know the Holloway Era one, Dark is the Lonely Night. I loved it. I haven’t laughed so hard in ages. I had no idea books like this existed to be honest but now I have ‘seen the light’. Did you know, Shiv is a huge fan of this genre and he knew the perfect book shop to visit. He says that the one you sent is in the middle of the whole Hallet series, his Jedi turned detective set and that it probably wasn’t the best example so if I liked it I will love the others. I ended up buying the entire set of Jeb Holloway books, since he was the one who started the whole ‘grime crime’ genre to begin with. Did you know there were holo films made from many of his books? I bought a few of those as well. Shiv was talking about hosting a Holloway theme party. He suggested that if you are on planet I invite you to come along. I told I would pass on the message but I wasn’t sure how many clichés you could handle in one evening. Still, it could be a lot of fun. I am looking forward to seeing the holos myself. I am a big fan of Thaddeus Martin and Xandi Kitt and Shiv says they just spark in the Holloway films. And because I know you’ll ask, my mother was a big fan of both these actors and we had a lot of their films at home. I just don’t remember any of the grime-crime ones.

I promise I won’t start spouting lines that include words such as dastardly rat- bastard, babe-face, sweet-cheeks or mollycoddle. I have no intention of trying gravity defying hair styles, Zenji sticks are hard enough as it is and slinky dresses with thigh revealing sides are not generally my kind of fashion statement…but the stiletto strapped to my thigh? That could be fun and useful considering the last few adventures I have had. I rather like knives and I know how to use them.

Speaking of actresses, Prince Xizor is now dating a famous holo actress by the name of Tylisha Ianko, she starred in the recent set of films based on Pell Norvic’s books, The Black Star and the White Sun trilogy. Apparently she played very hard to get but he won her over anyway. I deal with his office on a fairly regular basis as he and Lord Vader communicate, if you can call it that, on a fairly regular basis. I dislike him intensely. I met him briefly at the very first Grand Ball I attended and it was not a good experience. He apparently has the ability to give off some sort of pheromone that make him irresistible to women cross species and he has a thing for Humans. Personally, I feel that if a man has to use chemical means to attract a girlfriend then he’s probably lacking something in some department some place. Thanks to Shiv I have this bit of information and so every time the prince comes near me I just have to pretend I am smitten and he leaves me alone. He pulled that pheromone trick on me at the grand ball and it was Shiv who saved the day, telling me that Xizor only goes after women he feels are challenging. So by acting like a besotted courtesan I am saving myself a ton of trouble. The man is repulsive, and has the personality of a Mos Espa Junk Dealer. If you ask me he’s got serious issues. I give this relationship a month and a half, just because she is SO famous and he enjoys the lime light.

I was really saddened to hear about your brother. I should imagine that the not knowing what really happened one way or another must be awful. I am sorry if I helped stir up old memories better left alone. I don’t find it strange at all that you would think of family, you spend so much talking to me about mine, comforting me and listening to me, it makes perfect sense you would remember and think of your own. It does make me sad though. I always thought it was amazing the depth and insight you seemed to have on family and loss and now I have a better understanding of why. I am truly sorry. I never had brothers or sisters so I cannot even imagine what such a loss is like.

I think I would be honoured to see some of your sister’s work some day although I would hope that if I ever do have the chance to visit your home world that the welcome would not be too unkind even though I am an outsider. I can’t imagine you as rebellious at all. If you are rebellious then your people must be very… hell, I don’t even have adequate words to describe how they must be. Have I just not seen this rebellious side of you yet or was this a phase you went through as a teenager and I missed it? You know, I never understood xenophobia. I guess that comes from growing up on a planet where the aliens almost out number the humans. We have so much to learn from other cultures, other beings I don’t really get the whole fear thing. I am glad that you are teaching me Cheunh, it is an extraordinary language and my world is richer for the learning of it. I did ask Lord Vader about my ability for languages and he confirmed your thoughts. He also thinks that my ability with them is directly related to my own force abilities but he added that perhaps I also had some natural talent in that area. In the end I don’t care what it is that helps me along with learning other languages. I am just happy to be able to do it.

There is so much more I could babble about, but it is, once again, really late here and I am exhausted, truth be told. It has been a busy week and on top of my crazy work schedual at the moment I have been in some pretty strenuous training sessions. Between the brief moments I get to spend under Lord Vader’s tutelage and the fairly gruelling lessons with my master who is prepping me for the up and coming trials to pass me to the next level, I wonder sometimes how I can actually stay on my feet. I think I mostly owe that to my uncle’s amazing spiced coffee recipe. Once the level trials are over with I am hoping that my routine settles down a little bit although I have heard rumblings from Lord Vader that he would like to have me start accompanying him on board the Executor for some of his longer runs. I won’t complain, my time with him is limited enough as it is. No one, not even I, understands this bond I have with him and I have stopped trying to sort it all out. I only know I am happy when I am on his good side and unhappy when I am on the wrong side of his good grace.

So, I hope that you are well and that Jarack delivers this swiftly. I really think he enjoys the galactic man of mystery thing, to be honest. He’s kind though and his presence is always a sign of something good so I am always happy to see him. I was also glad to read I am not the only one with a certain amount of sentiment that needs to be released every now and then. I was always told as a child that absence makes the heart grow fonder but in truth, I don’t believe that. Absence is a black hole that is sometimes never filled back in when someone you care for is no longer in one’s life. You know and understand this better than most and for that I am grateful.

Mera’ta’llath’Ia,
Merlyn

It always amazed me how quickly time seemed to vanish especially after I had started working for the Empire. My job was interesting and ever changing, Lord Vader was not a boring man to work for. The correspondence between Thrawn and me only served to make my life sweeter and Jarack’s visits became moments of calm in the storms that whirled about the day to day life of Vader’s pet office girl, as I had become known. It was a peculiar thing to be working inside the Imperial machine. Out on the Rim the Empire was just a name, a faceless government that cared little for the affairs of people so far away from the central core. Tatooine was ruled by the Hutts not the Imperials. Stormtroopers did not instil fear on the people of my home world, Jabba and his minions did. I was starting to see that it actually didn’t matter where one lived. It was a trade off, really, one sort of dictator for another, one set of rules for another. The uniforms of the beings that did the dirty work for those in charge changed but the actions remained the same. My father wrote regularly about life in Mos Eisley and his latest letter talked about the recent fifteen percent increase in consumption taxes that the Imperial economic advisor, Pinac Galous had announced a few weeks prior. The reason for the tax hike was the increase in rebel activities which had created a rise in raw material cost. My father was annoyed that now ship’s parts would be even more costly and difficult to come by than they had previously.

…I wonder if these rebels have any idea of the chaos they are unleashing by attacking the current regime? It seems to me that there is an element of selfishness wrapped up in this cause and it is not as if the Empire itself is actually that bad, or do we out here just not see into the deeper workings? Was it not your Captain Thrawn who pointed out that the Empire is merely a system of government and as a rule there will always be those who oppose and wish to change said government? He is right, the same could be said about this planet, there are many here who would wish to see the Hutts long gone, but the question that always remains is what do you replace the government you have ousted with? The Captain had some interesting things to say on this topic while he was here; I think you had gone back to the bay to finish working on your ship and missed this part of the conversation. Needless to say this new tax hike will have some dire consequences for us out here and I am betting that smuggling will rise dramatically which will make life interesting…

My father was right and smuggling, according to the latest internal report that crossed my desk was up and an increase in patrols had been called for, not that this would do any good mind you. I was surprised to read that Imperial Customs Captain, Dalea Trovin had managed to uncover a large raw materials smuggling ring that had been using Brentaal as a base of operations. Usually the smugglers were always one step ahead of the rest of the galaxy. I was torn, I had worked with smugglers on their ships from time to time and part of me had a tendency to romanticise their crazy life style. I suppose that was to be expected, on Tatooine smugglers were the unofficial heroes, doing the impossible against all odds. This was an opinion I kept to myself though, I was certain that most of the Imperials I worked for would not agree at all. So I made the appropriate noises of disapproval when the topic came up with others but secretly smiled at the boldness of the rogues on the Rim. It was easy to forget that these rogues were dangerous and that everything they did had consequences.

Jarack strolled into the office almost exactly at eleven o’clock and he looked tired. It had been almost four weeks since I had last talked to him. I signed for the courier pouch and then asked if he wanted something to drink. For the first time since I had met him he did not refuse the offer of a cup of spiced coffee and he sat down as though it had been the first moment of rest he had had in a long time.

“I don’t mean to pry, but you look like bantha poodoo, is everything alright?” I asked as I handed him a large cup.

He accepted it with a wan smile. “It’s been a busy time but nothing to worry about; I’ll catch up on sleep when I get back onboard my ship.” I looked at him carefully and he, in turn noted my scrutiny. “Ask your question, Miss Gabriel. I don’t bite.”

“Admiral Thrawn said that you do this letter delivery thing as a favour, so I just wonder what it is you really do. Are you a spy for him or something?”

For a moment he just looked at me and then he smiled. “One of the first things the Admiral told me when I offered to do this letter delivery thing for him was ‘be warned the young lady is blessed with an over abundance of tenacious curiosity.’ I see he was not exaggerating. No ma’am, I am not a spy, although I am in the information business and yes, I pass along his and your mail as a favour. I’ve known the Admiral for a long time now and I guess you could say I owe him my life.”

“An over abundance of tenacious curiosity?” that sure sounded like Thrawn’s words.

“Yes, ma’am that is exactly how he put it.” He grinned.

“Well, the Admiral is certainly gifted with a profuse desire to shower everyone with his superfluous verbiage.” I said a tad more tartly than I meant to.

Jarack laughed so suddenly I thought he was going choke but he recovered nicely. “I am quite certain the Admiral will enjoy hearing that.” Then he changed the topic quickly and added. “May I say, you make amazing spiced coffee.”

“My uncle Vahlek’s recipe, he calls it the Akosh Sacred Spice Secret. I am sworn never to give it out to anyone.” I said.

Jarack raised an eyebrow. “Vahlek Akosh? The Vahlek Akosh is your uncle?”

“You know him?”

He shook his head. “By reputation only. I wasn’t aware he had any living family, though.”

“Well, I am not a blood relative, he is my Dajdofa guardian and how do you know of him?”

Jarack drew a deep breath and studied my face very carefully for a moment. “Really, well that is interesting?” I noticed he had not answered my question and something about his manner told me not to press or ask.

I frowned. “Why is that interesting?”

“Men like Akosh generally do not attach themselves in such a manner and Dajdofa guardianship is for life.” Jarack said.

I sighed. “I don’t really understand.”

He looked at me for a moment then said quietly. “No, I am certain you do not.” He did not elaborate and the look on his face told me that part of our conversation had ended. He finished his coffee and set the cup on the table by the chair. “I must be on my way, deadlines to meet and I am certain that the Admiral will be waiting for this.” He said getting up. He turned to leave but then turned back to face me. “You know, when the Admiral first asked me to play post boy, especially as a favour, I was a bit surprised. He never struck me as a man who attached himself to any one person, always kept himself to himself as a rule but not so with you. Then again, you are not at all what you appear to be, are you?”

I stared at him for a moment. “You know, if I knew what it was I appeared to be then maybe I could answer that and if I had a credit chip for everyone who said those words I wouldn’t need to work any more.” I retorted.

He barked a shot sharp laugh. “Perhaps it’s good that you don’t know and can’t answer that.” he smiled. “See you next time, thanks for the coffee.”

“Anytime.” I said and watched as he left. I looked at the courier package and made a face as I heard the words over abundance of tenacious curiosity echo in my head. I set the package aside, slipping it into the drawer of my desk and got back to work. I was grateful for my job because it was the one thing that distracted me from all the strange little mysteries that had piled up in my life. My uncle Vahlek was slowly rising to the top of this list.

I yawned and poured myself another cup of spice coffee. Jarack was not the only one who was tired except my reason was too much partying Imperial style. Most of the time I tried to avoid the social functions if I could but sometimes even that was impossible and if Lord Vader said go, well I attended dressed appropriately either at his side or with Shiv at mine. Last night’s event was quite unlike anything I had ever seen before and at Lord Vader’s insistence I had remained until he had been ready to leave.

It was a busy time in the office and Lord Vader was in and out a lot. As usual, when he was about so everyone else needed to see him. Although he had a personal protocol droid who was supposed to take care of his minor appointments and an aide de camp for military things, most people preferred to come and bother me to arrange an audience with the Dark Lord. This included people like Demetrius Zaarin. The Grand Admiral had been a frequent visitor to my office since I had returned. Although his reasons for stopping by were always plausible and official I never quite trusted them or him. He often tried to engage me in conversation but I didn’t feel that chatty with him.

He was a heavy set, older man with a thick neck and a strong, square jaw. He was not quite as tall, his shoulders not quite as broad and nor was he as slender as Thrawn but he kept himself in decent shape unlike some of the other Grand Admirals who had trouble still fitting into their uniforms and had to suck in their abundant bellies every time a pretty courtesan passed by. He had wavy brown hair that was silver at the temples and cut in a regulation military style. It made his lined face seem harder and older. He almost never smiled and when he did the smile never reached his deep hazel coloured eyes. Everything about him bespoke of a man who was quite used to getting what he wanted and not used to hearing the word no. I had said no to him far too many times and he was more than annoyed with me. Thrawn had warned me to watch my back with this man because he was quite brilliant and powerful and didn’t like not getting what he wanted.

“I see, Miss Gabriel that the Emperor’s Iron Fist keeps you as busy as ever.” He was good at making polite banter.

“Lord Vader is a busy man, Grand Admiral Zaarin. If he is busy then so am I, truth be told this is a good thing.” I said lightly, wishing the man would just go away.

“Oh, why is that?”

“Busy means I have a job.” I replied lightly.

He laughed. “You know, Lord Vader tells me that you are quite the mechanic.”

I raised an eyebrow. “His praise is too kind.” The sarcasm was lost on the man leaning on my desk.

Zaarin laughed even harder. “The word kind and Lord Vader do not belong in the same sentence, dear. I can see why Admiral Thrawn enjoys your company, you are very amusing.” He paused for a few seconds to see if I would rise to the bait and when I didn’t he continued. “Perhaps you will make it out to the facility to see what we are doing, I am sure you will be impressed by the improvements we are making to the current ship designs.”

“If Lord Vader allows it, I would be delighted.” I told him, knowing full well that chances were good Lord Vader would not allow it. As I understood it what went on at that particular facility was top secret.

Grand Admiral Zaarin merely smiled and continued with his banter until Lord Vader was ready to see him. Zaarin was the last appointment of the day and I was grateful when Lord Vader brushed his mind to mine and told me I could go, his exact words being more along the lines of 'I have no further use for you today, you may go away and amuse yourself.' So, I went home with Thrawn’s latest missive tucked under my arm. I set it on the counter and changed into my exercise clothes then slipped quietly into the training room where Master Kjestyll was waiting for me. I started to apologise for being late but he waved at me to stop. He knew what my schedule was like when Lord Vader was around and knew there was not much I could do about it.

Four hours of training and a long hot bath later I was curled up on my couch with a cup of tea and a letter from the one Imperial Admiral I was always happy to hear from.


A’mia Tekari,

I hope that this letter finds you happy and well. Yours arrived three days ago and it was a bright spot on a fairly dull day. I fear that to the outside observer the life of an Imperial Officer seems glamorous and full of excitement but you and I both know that could not be further from the truth. For the past week we have been meandering, I suppose is the best way to put it, around the edge of the Outer Rim in the Unknown Regions. I am hopeful that in six months or so we might be headed back to the Core. While I enjoy what I am doing, I also look forward to some time planet side as well. At least I will not have to spend the first week back catching up on what has been happening. Were it not for you, I would be so far behind on the gossip and stories of Coruscant’s rich and infamous that I could not show my face in court. Where do you get all this nonsense from? Siavaan, I am betting, has a lot to do with it.

I could not, however, help but laugh at your somewhat apt description of Prince Xizor’s prowess with women. I wasn’t aware that he used pheromones to seduce unsuspecting young ladies such as yourself and I am indebted to Siavaan for rescuing you, no wonder you were so unhappy that evening. You do seem to attract the sharks. I am still entertaining the thought of chaining you to your desk under the watchful eye of a garrison of Stormtroopers. You have an amazing habit of inviting the worst sort of trouble.

My dear, I truly understand your desire to talk rather than read about the Clone Soldiers and the war they fought. I imagine this subject is quite difficult for you. I also understand your desire to stay out of Isard’s way, please do. She is a dangerous, ambitious woman who will stop at nothing to get what she wants. So I would take it as a kindness if you would avoid getting on her bad side. I doubt though that she truly believes you are a simply Lord Vader’s pet office girl, she knows better than most that Lord Vader would not keep you about or so close at hand (most of the time) unless there was something extraordinary about you. Those whispers you have heard about what happen to those who get in her way, including the tales about her father, are more than just whispers.

The information you sent on the various force powers and gifts was incredibly helpful. The Chiss have never, to the best of my knowledge, produced a force user of any kind. While we are not a people who have been able to use this power we are certainly not immune to it. Once before, when I was considerably younger I was given the opportunity to experience what I believe Lord Vader called force choke. It was a most unpleasant sensation. Your delightful gift of empathy has a far more pleasant effect and one day I hope we can explore this to its fullest extent. Lord Vader’s description of you as an ungrounded power coupling is not so far from the truth. I am curious if you have ever tried to use your telepathy on me? If so I have never noticed. Does it work on those who are not in tune with the force? I feel it would be to my advantage to know everything I can about this Force and all the implications that goes with it.

That Siavaan was a fan of the Grime-crime genre somehow does not surprise me, however, that you would become so enamoured by it does, just a little bit. I have not read the entire Holloway series but I am told he was the best. I am sure you will regale me enthusiastically with all the gory details of your newfound passion and when I return perhaps you will allow me to borrow your books. I find the idea of a party themed around this topic a little unnerving, as you say I am uncertain as to how many clichés I could handle in one evening although I assure you I am a good deal tougher than you seem to give me credit for.

Tad Martin and Xandi Kitt were among the greatest actors of their time, if I remember correctly. Popular culture is not as high on my list of studies as a fine art, but I do keep an open mind and ear. Your mother was quite eclectic in her tastes and I see that she has passed that along to you. I shall hold you to your promise of not spouting clichéd lines from your latest influence and I believe you when you say that Zenji sticks are difficult to use, not, mind you, that I have any practical experience in that particular department. I do wonder though, if I should have to frisk you for concealed and illegal weaponry when I return. Ladies with sharp objects are remarkably dangerous especially when they actually know what they are doing with them.

It delights me to no end that you are not only becoming quite proficient in Cheunh but that you truly enjoy it as well. So few of your kind actually even bother to inquire about it let alone wish to learn it and it is I who am indebted to you not the other way around. It allows me to share with you a part of myself that has long been tucked away and kept from sight simply due to the inability for self expression in the language that is my own. Perhaps your world is indeed richer for the learning of it but I assure you mine is all the more enriched by your enthusiasm and desire.

Thank you for your kind words regarding the loss of my brother. It seems strange to me to even bring up his name in a world where no one knew of him at all. He was a very good man and, as with all things, one only realises what one no longer has after it is irretrievably gone. Brothers and sisters enrich one’s life greatly in ways I have no ability to properly express. Unlike parents they are partners in crime for small mischiefs accomplished, the keeper of secrets and best friends who are unafraid to tell you on no certain terms when they think you have screwed up, yet they will come dashing in to your rescue when no one else will. I had always thought that Thrass lacked my ability to over step convention. He tended to play most things by the book but he had skills which I did not and now I miss those things, I miss conversing with him and hearing his thoughts. As you said, some wounds are never truly healed and for me this is one of them. To the casual observer the Chiss, as a rule, can seem very cold hearted and calculating. We are an aloof, proud people who do not like showing our emotions but I can tell you that underneath this veneer this is not always the case. I cannot tell you the number of times Thrass ‘looked after me’ or did his best to sort things out and save me from getting into trouble. While this used to annoy the hell out of me, in the end I see now that it was love and a desire to protect something, someone he held very dear. How do you replace this when it is no longer there? How do you fill in the empty space left behind? My dear, while you did not grow up with siblings you have experienced such great losses in your own life that I know when I speak of these things, you will understand. This gives me some measure of comfort and I am thankful.

My sister took his disappearance very hard. She was still in her early teens when it happened and a small part of her blames me, which she is right to do. I set into motion events which led to his demise and while she still clings to some faint tiny hope that he lives, I know in my heart he does not. She and Thrass were very close, he was incredibly protective of her and she adored him, as a little sister with an elder brother should do. The last time we spoke about it, it was painful and we fought because neither of us was able to see beyond our own pain. Her loss and my guilt have created a wall that has divided us and I don’t know how to break through it. There are only so many times one can utter the word sorry before it becomes meaningless and empty. We both dealt with Thrass’s disappearance from our lives in vastly different ways. Hers was far more creative and I still get chills when I see the paintings she produced stemming from her grief. Mine was to walk away from it and concentrate on my career but in the end, as you know so well, one can never escape one’s past and eventually it will return to haunt you until you deal with it. You need not apologise though, for talking about these things. It is not your words that stir up old ghosts, but the ghost themselves who wish to be heard. I am grateful in more ways than I can express. It is a rare gift to have someone with whom I can speak about these things to. Like you, I do not make close friends easily and in my service to the Empire confidents of this nature are non existent. You, sj’iu tekari are a treasure to me and have done nothing you need to apologise for.

That you have not seen my more outgoing side is of no surprise. My rebelliousness is of a subtle nature. My people’s rebellious nature is non existent. The Chiss love the safety net of rules, regulations, and traditions, hence the reason I am here working for the Empire and not with the CEDF as I used to be, a long story I promise one day to tell you.

On this note I am afraid I must end this letter. I reiterate that you should not stay up late writing to me at the cost of your health especially if you are to under go some sort of physical trial for your mysterious martial arts. What pray tell does this involve? You really aught to take better care of yourself, I would prefer to come back to Coruscant knowing that you were healthy and vibrant and not in a med clinic somewhere suffering the ill effects of exhaustion or worse.

Do give my regards to Siavaan and let me know should he actually follow through with his dastardly plan for infesting the Imperial Center with influx of Grime Crime via the means of a theme party; Fore warned is fore armed.

Ilath’mera’talashti’Ia
Mitth’raw’nuruodo


I sat with his letter in my hand for a long time and eventually fell asleep on the couch only to wake up at the crack of dawn with a painful crick in my neck. This was not the first time, nor would it be the last time that I had not even made it to my bed to sleep. Working for the Empire was playing havoc on my life, or maybe it was the other way around.