The Other Side of Grace 9

The micro storm moved quickly across the city and I stood on the balcony, my favourite place in the palace, staring at it. The lights were off and no one else was around. I watched as the storm cells shifted, showering the tall, silvery buildings with flashes of lightening. The sound of thunder vibrated all around and I could feel the wind on my face as the clouds pushed the warm air forward. There was a sweetness to the heavy air and moisture so thick I could taste it, almost drown in it. When it started to rain I raised my head upwards to greet it. Rain was a miracle to a person from Tatooine. These storms were a mirror for my own thoughts, my own inner turmoil. I welcomed them. It had been almost two months now since I had been on my home world, two months since uncle Vahlek and I had taken a little side trip to the Jedi temple and two months since I had received Jyrki’s little data card and in those two months I had not slept well at all.

In difference to how I usually felt about time, at the moment it was dragging its heels miserably. Lord Vader was more often than not away and had not only growled when I had asked to go with him but had expressly forbidden me to go off world at all. When I had asked for a reason his answer was a swift and nasty ‘because I told you to so.’ followed with a little taste of force choke. I had backed down fast. I wasn’t willing to fight him on anything at the moment because his temper had been much worse than usual. So he had gone off to Mechis III and then on to Ord Mantell and I was stuck on Coruscant. He was working with bounty hunters and they were not making him happy. There was a substantial reward for the capture of Luke Skywalker now which had brought out all the very worst sorts of beings into the hunt the rebels game. I had been compiling lists of the better known Bounty Hunters for Lord Vader, sometimes my job experience from working Jabba’s Palace and the docking bay paid off but it had been a bit odd to hear him mention Boba Fett and I had to bite my tongue from saying ‘tell him Merly from Jabba’s says hi.’ I didn’t think that Lord Vader would appreciate being a messenger boy for me.

I brushed wet hair out of my face as the storm unleashed its fury and it rained with a vengeance. Everything was a weird pale orange-pink colour as the city lights reflected in the rain and the off the clouds. Only the lightening changed that into a second of brilliant bluish white every time it struck. I shivered with the sudden change in temperature as the storm cell passed. Below me the traffic moved as it always did, a steady stream of lights and noise. As the rain eased up I could once again see off in the distance the spires of the Jedi Temple. A shudder ran down my spine and I turned my attention away from it. In difference to what my uncle had thought, I had not gone back since our first visit. The temple called to me, though. It made me think of the tales that were told about strange ghosts in the deserts of Tatooine, spirits who would sing to weary travellers especially during sand storms to lure them away from safety and shelter. The temple whispered but I could shut its voice out, at least for now. While I knew there were things waiting to be discovered over there, secrets and answers but my fear outweighed my curiosity and I had no real reason to go back there. Even though I had pulled out the box with my precious things from its hiding place many times I had not activated the holocron cube of my birth mother’s diary.

I was soaked by the time I got back to my flat. I had not intended to stay out on the balcony for so long after my lesson with Master Kjestyll but the micro storms that had danced across the city had lured me and kept me there. The restlessness of the weather mirrored mine but now after an hour of storm watching I was glad to get back to where it was warm and dry. I put the kettle on and grabbed a towel to dry my hair, threw on dry clothes and when the kettle boiled made a hot water and brandy mixed with some honey. With the warm mug cupped in my hands I curled up on the couch to read the letter Jarack had delivered right before I was going to leave work for the day.


A’mia Tekari,

I can only imagine that the palace must slowly becoming back to life as the court returns from its two months on Naboo. We are currently en route to the edge of Wild Space where we will rendezvous for supplies and then continue our way towards the Core. I am hoping to be back on Coruscant in less than two months, perhaps upon my return I can entice you to join me for a quiet dinner far away from the Imperial Palace.

I had not heard about the incident you mentioned and I did not know Admiral Griff that well, only in passing I am afraid but anyone so incredibly stupid enough to come out of hyperspace on top of the flagship of the Imperial Fleet probably deserves what he gets. It was a pity so many loyal Imperials had to pay the price for such stupidity along with him. I can only imagine Lord Vader’s ire at this event. In theory an ISD is equipped with adequate warning systems for obstacles in the way of a hyperspace exit, that is, if the nav computer is properly used. These systems can, of course, be overridden.

I do find it of interest that Admiral Ozzel is now in charge of the Death Squadron, as you so delicately put it, he is a bit of a pompous snob and he is not quite as suitable as some of the other men who might have been better prepared to serve in this posting. Time will tell how good of a placement he is. Firmus Piett, on the other hand, is a very suitable choice as captain if the Executor. I have only spoken with him once very briefly several years ago, before his promotion to Captain. He struck me as a deeply intelligent man with a slight penchant for worrying too much. Like all officers serving directly under Lord Vader’s command I do wish them a certain amount of luck. Vader goes through men the way small children devour sweets.

Memorial services, it has been my experience, are usually sad and quite painful affairs. As a rule they are attended only by the family left behind, close friends and the few officers who have been given leave to do so. I imagine that the service held on Coruscant for Admiral Griff and the men who perished in this disaster was larger than most due to the sheer scale of the accident. It does not surprise me that your attendance was not so well received and you should not take it personally. You know what losing a loved one is like and you also know the anger tat comes with that. They need someone to blame and Lord Vader, along with his associates, is an easy target. It does not matter who is actually at fault.

Speaking of Imperial men, I was intrigued to hear what Zaarin has been up to. Placing hyperdrives in TIEs has been spoken of for several years but it has been mostly a question of logistics, weight verses speed and so on. Shields have been another tricky problem and it will be very interesting to see if the new designs actually work as well as being cost efficient. Zaarin is a brilliant engineer and tactician so I am quite sure that if anyone would be able to make these plans a reality, he will. While I may not like the man on a personal level, his engineering skills are to be admired. Your comment on my popularity amongst some of the Grand Admirals was most amusing. No, they don’t like me very much. As an alien I am in a minority amongst Imperial officers and it would seem that the Emperor’s faith in my abilities has created some sibling rivalry amongst his favoured twelve.

Tigellinus is especially unhappy about my place in the Emperor’s fleet, he feels that Palpatine has made a very grave error in affording me the freedom he so far has. However, Tigellinus is short sighted and sees nothing beyond his own petty desires for power. He is not a military genius but does have a commendable knack for courting the right people at the right time and ingratiating himself into the elite circles. He does not like me much at all I am afraid, although I am not sure exactly why, apart from the obvious fact of my not being human. With Zaarin, on the other hand, it is more a rivalry borne of our individual gifts for strategy and tactical thinking. I do not think that he, unlike Tigellinus, actually hates me, but rather I annoy him and I am in his way. To be honest he probably every bit as intelligent as I am and I am quite certain were we ever to engage in a game of dejarik the outcome might very well be stalemate. He’s quite analytical in his thinking.

This must seem a bit like petty school yard politicking to you and, indeed, it is. None of these men understand my reasons for doing what I do, nor do they understand my relationship with the Emperor. I suspect that if they were to ever uncover the truth of the matter the shock would kill them but like so many men of power they are blinded by their own desire to not only hold onto the power they feel they have worked so hard for but they also wish to gain more. These petty games don’t interest me much but I find myself forced to play them in order to get what I want from this position. One of these days perhaps you will understand this a little better. We all play games, my dear. It is just our reasons for doing that differ.

I find it hard to put into words the anger I felt upon hearing that Jyrki Andando has not seen fit to leave you in peace. That his message frightened you is of no surprise, you suffered great trauma at his hands. This is not as easily forgotten as one might hope. Your uncle feels the same way, it seems, in his desire to protect you and I was glad to hear you were not alone when you came back to the Coruscant. Thanks to that delightful holo-vid you sent, I have an image in my mind now of your entire family and I should think that Vahlek Akosh would be a very interesting person to speak with. Perhaps one day we shall get to meet in person although I am not sure about the reception I would receive from him. I am quite certain that while he is aware of my presence in your life, you have not been exactly forth coming in telling him everything about me. Speaking of being forth coming, I hope that you have submitted a report of Jyrki’s message to Intel or at the very least to Lord Vader. There is a warrant out for his arrest.

My dear, you seem to excel at getting yourself into trouble and you do not need much help in this area from me. As I have explained previously, the Chiss have a very strict policy of not attacking first. I, however, do not always agree with or follow this policy as you have pointed out. While it has served the Chiss people well enough to sit back and wait for the aggression of another. I do not subscribe to this approach, feeling it leaves us open to an attack that perhaps we would be otherwise better prepared for had we known before hand the military capabilities of our opponents.

I am not certain as to whether frisking you for concealed weapons would come under a pre-emptive strike heading or not, as I recall when we met for the first time you did threaten to do me bodily harm. As I see it, my searching your persons for dangerous objects is merely a measure of self protection after the first aggressive moves had already been made. I highly doubt that your inexperience in the area of the type of conversational tactics we have been engaging in will be a hindrance for you, you learn swiftly and do not often make the same mistake twice. I am quite certain under my firm guidance you will become a more than worthy opponent in these exercises, you are physically and mentally adept at adapting. I am also well aware of your most unique and interesting defensive abilities but you should be made aware that I have a habit of turning situations around so that I have the tactical advantage despite any appearances to the contrary. I would be more than happy to educate you in this delightful field of tactics and strategies, I am quite certain you would enjoy the hands on approach I would choose. I am most definitely, as you asked, up for this little rumble (you really must stop reading Holloway books) and I am most curious about how far you wish this to go with it. I believe you have the next move.

On that note, my dear, I must end this. I wish you the very best of luck in your up and coming Bunduki trials. I am quite certain you will do very well. Do not take the disparaging looks you received at the Griff memorial to heart. As with all things, once the initial sting of loss has passed the family will come to terms with it and move on as we all must do after the death of a loved one. You have nothing to do with the military side of things and this is a known fact. You are not responsible and no one blames you at all. You just happened to be a convenient target. Don’t take it personally.

Ilath’mera’talashti’Ia
Mitth’raw’nuruodo


The rain pelted against the windows of my flat and I shivered even though I wasn’t cold. Thrawn’s words about Jyrki brought back the fear I had felt when I had received the data card message. I had neither submitted a report to Intel, nor had I told Lord Vader about it. I didn’t actually think either would be that interested. For Intel, I was unimportant and in Lord Vader’s eyes I should be able to take care of myself. This situation just annoyed me more than anything else. I wasn’t at all sure what Jyrki had hoped to gain by sending me this message. His actions didn’t make any sense to me they just made me furious as well as frightened and I wasn’t sure which emotion annoyed me more.

My mind drifted to the up coming trials. I had been training hard and had learned much. Master Kjestyll assured me I was more than ready but I was nervous about it. I had been trained in private by one of the best Bunduki masters around; while this gave me the advantage of being well trained it had its disadvantages. I almost never got to train with other students of my own level. It was a little lonely sometimes but I never brought it up because I was certain that my master had his reasons for this and who was I to question his wisdom. He would have probably berated me for this way of thinking. He had told me often enough, ‘A student’s job is to question everything, including the master’. I still did not know what these trials would be like and the more I thought about it the more I worried about them. I had tried to talk to Lord Vader about my concerns but he didn’t anything helpful to say.

As lightening flashed, momentarily brightening the living room, I wondered what it would actually be like to see Thrawn in the flesh once more. It had been a very long time and yet despite this and the distance between us I never felt closer to him. His letters were gifts and the presents he sent gentle reminders that he thought about me from time to time. That pleased me and the strange verbal teasing we had engaged in was thrilling. I looked forward to his return to the core. His absence not only made my heart ache but created a longing that was difficult to ignore. I suppose it was only normal that I had begun to imagine what being with him for real again would be like, distracting thoughts that helped me pass my free time that were not very productive.

With a sigh I put Thrawn’s letter away. Jarack had told me that because they were on some sort of manoeuvres at the moment he would not be back until after my trial. I had told him that would at least give me something worth writing about, that my life was quiet and dull at the moment. He had laughed and said teasingly that a person should be careful when saying that sort of thing out loud.

“Why is that?” I had asked.

“The gods might just be listening.” He had replied with a grin.

I had just shaken my head as he was left but now, sitting here in the solitude of my flat, the micro storms raging outside, I wondered about his warning. He had been joking but now I didn’t think it was all that funny.

It was late and sitting in the dimly lit room being maudlin was not doing me any good so after I tucked Thrawn’s letter away and cleaned up my dishes. I went to bed. Lord Vader was still away but that didn’t mean I wasn’t busy. I had more than enough to do, on top of preparing for my trials. I did as Thrawn suggested and stopped dwelling on the animosity I had felt at the Griff Memorial service, stopped worrying about things I could not control and tried to get some sleep.