The Bitter Twist of Dark 6

In the quiet of the early dawn I woke up. The light from the rising sun was still pale, its quiet colours meandering their way into the night sky, mauves and pallid pinks. At sometime during the night Thrawn had rolled away from me, sleeping on his back, his face turned towards the window. I moved carefully so as not to wake him and not jar my aching shoulder.

I watched him for a few moments, marvelling at how different a person’s face looked when they were asleep, how peaceful and free from the concerns of daily life. He was so beautiful to me and I wondered how anyone could hate him simply because he looked different, just because he was not human. I resisted the urge to reach out and stroke his face. It was early and I didn’t want to wake him. Just watching him made my heart skip a beat, I wondered if that was normal.

I had never considered myself a particularly romantic person and after the resounding blow to my ego from Jyrki when I had declared how I had felt to him romance, such as it was, was a thing I shied away from. It was a word in the books that Bel secretly read and then left lying around for me to secretly read after her. I despised the women in these ridiculous stories. I hated the men too but that didn’t stop me from pouring through the books anyway, just to see what would happen.

I had asked Bel once why she read these books and her reply had been surprisingly shy.

“Because in real life there is no such thing as romance.” She had told me. “There are no larger than life heroes and no perfect men. These books are trashy, I know that, but I like them anyway because they aren’t real. Love is a horrible thing, Merly, it just hurts you.” She had said and I couldn’t disagree with her because from my perspective at that time, she had been right. But, looking back I wondered, what had I known about that particular subject? Not very much. Unlike Bel I did not think romance was terrible but it was a bit of a mystery and I kinda liked mysteries….

I puzzled over the man that lay asleep next to me. He was considerably older than I was, alien and brilliant. He had told me on more than one occasion that he had not given much thought to having someone, anyone close to him in his life. His job came first, yet every now and then he offered me an opening, a small place in his world and I didn’t understand why. I often thought about this but I never dared to ask him about it. My own insecurities had nothing to do with him and he knew his own mind better than any one. If he decided I was a part of his life then who was I to question this?

I got out of bed slowly, and stole the robe he had slung over the back of the chair I suspected was there solely for that purpose and went to the kitchen. I made a pot of tea and then drank a cup leaning against the counter, watching the sun rise. This moment in time, this perfect stillness was something I had learned to treasure. That moment of the day before the air, the people, the world wakes up and everything comes alive.

Thinking about Bel and her crazy romance stories made me smile. I had been young enough the very first time I had found one of her holo books lying around that most of the innuendos had escaped me entirely. My crush on Jyrki had still been in its early stage and I was pretty clueless about the concept of sex and lust and its vocabulary. So reading this book had prompted many questions, not the least of which was about the strange descriptions of male and female anatomy.

I had asked Bel about one particular line describing what I thought was a description of the male reproductive organ and she had turned beet red, almost impossible for a Rodian and had spluttered some explanation about how I might want to go to the library and look stuff up. It was very confusing. So I went and asked Jyrki next who had simply regarded me with his brittle blue eyes and then asked; “Yer smarter than that, Mouse, read something real not that rubbish.” He had said and with that he had turned his back on me and gone back to work. That a he had blushed had totally escaped my notice.

On that particular day there had been no one else about so I had gone to my father, shown him the troublesome passage in the book and asked him to explain it. Much to my surprise he had, clearly in plain language that made sense to me without visible embarrassment or hesitation.

We had studied biology in school and I had learned the very basic ins and outs of human anatomy and a little about being female. It had been Bedi who had helped me when I had first started my period and after that, I guess, everyone just assumed that someone else had taken the time to explain the ins and outs of human reproduction and all its complications or they had all hoped to avoid it.

So for over an hour my father and I had talked, or rather he had talked and I had listened. At the very end of his detailed explanation of sex and how it all worked I was still perplexed about a few things.

“What’s still not clear, pet?” he’d asked.

“Why does everyone get so weird about this subject if it’s so natural?” I had asked.

My father had just smiled. “It embarrasses people. It’s such a private thing and what makes it so difficult for people to talk about is not the actually act itself but all the emotions and the feelings that go along with it.” He had sipped his drink and continued before I could ask even more questions. “Merly, sex is not just about making babies and continuing the species, it’s something that allows two adults to share their love, show how much they feel for one another in the most vulnerable, intimate way possible. It’s the emotions that mess people up and makes us different from, say banthas. It’s almost impossible to explain, you will just have to learn from doing and I hope that doesn’t happen until you are very, very grown up.”

“Why?”

He had shaken his head at my never ending curiosity. “Because I am your father for one thing and if I have anything to do with it, men won't be coming close to you until you're a hundred and fifty and I'm dead, it’s a dad thing so don’t ask for more explanations than that.” He had said with a smile. “Also because it’s a special time and you should share it with someone you truly love who loves you. Your first time is precious; don’t throw that away on just anyone.”

I had nodded but I had not really understood. After a moment’s silence I’d asked a question that had made my father choke on his tea.

“So papa, why do they call it a flaming hot rod of desire and not a penis?”

Once he had stopped coughing up tea he had just shaken his head. “You’ll have to ask the writers of those stupid books that question, pet. I have no idea. I can tell you this though; if I was a woman and read that I’d be more temped to run as far away as possible. This description makes men sound like diseased weapons rather than something good.” And that had been the end of my first serious lesson on human sexuality. At least I had a better idea of what happened in general, what went where when and what could occur afterwards. The discussion on the emotional baggage that accompanied sex, lust and love came a lot later, after I was in the throes of a broken heart and impossible to live with and then it had been Bel who had come to the rescue.

Now, in the quiet of the kitchen this conversation came back to me. For well over two years Thrawn had courted me, ignited a passion that was breath-takingly intense and shown a compassion for my well being that often left me baffled. I wondered what my father would make of my relationship with this man, for that matter I wondered what to make of it all. I was so deep in though that I didn’t hear him get up and come into the kitchen to join me.

“Credit for them?” he said as he poured himself a cup of tea.

“Man parts.” I answered without really thinking about what I was saying.

He just stared at me for a moment then decided it was too early to ask for an explanation, planted a kiss on my head, took his tea and went to sit out on the balcony. I followed him and we sat in silence watching as the sun lit up the city with a soft red- gold light. Only when I was cold enough did I go back inside and decide it was time to get dressed. I would wash up in my own flat, I wasn’t so comfortable here yet that I felt I could just hop into the bath. I cleaned my teeth and washed my face, by the time I was done Thrawn had showered and dressed.

“Are you really busy this morning?” I asked as we drove back to the Imperial Palace.

“I could spare a couple minutes, if that is what you are asking.” He replied.

“I wanted to show you the book Bel bought for me; I think it might be something you’d like to borrow, Tiveria Sekanis’s poems are really wonderful.”

He smiled. “For that I can make time.”

For the remainder of the trip through rush hour traffic I watched out of the speeder’s window and marvelled at how busy this planet was. We landed at the bay closest to where I lived and walked in silence to my flat. This part of the palace was, thankfully, quiet at this time of day so it was unlikely that anyone would see us together or ask awkward questions. While, for the most part, pairings between Imperial Officers and palace employees was ignored, it was still not officially allowed. The last thing I wanted was another Entertainment Holo-Net scandal or to get either myself or Thrawn into serious trouble, I had enough of that in my life as it was.

Coming back to the palace made me melancholy. I had not wanted the last twenty four hours to end. There had been a magical quality to the time I had spent in Thrawn’s home, as though the rest of the galaxy and all my troubles no longer existed. Coming back meant facing reality. I was lost, deep in my thoughts as I dug my card-key from my pocket. It was Thrawn’s arm suddenly braced in front of me, stopping me from moving forward brought me sharply back to reality.

“What the …?” I asked looking up at him then following his gaze. My heart caught in my throat. The door to my flat was open and the lock had been ripped out. “Oh!”

Thrawn drew his side arm and motioned for me to stay back. I ignored him and went to barge into my home, angered beyond belief that someone would actually break in to my home. He grabbed me by the arm. “Stay here!” His tone scared me. It was the voice of a man unused to having any order disobeyed ever. I swallowed my anger and nodded my understanding, watching as he entered my flat in a way that reminded me sharply he was first and foremost a military officer.

“It’s clear. There’s no one here.” He said when he reappeared from inside my flat after what seemed an eternity. I pushed past him and walked in through the ruined door and just stopped dead at the total destruction that had once been my home. I didn’t know where to look first. It was as if someone had let an enraged rancor loose. Everything that could be smashed, broken or ripped had been. For a moment I was shocked into a numb stillness and then anger writhed its way from my gut to my brain, followed closely by a sudden realization that I had things I truly valued, that I was afraid to lose. I ran into the bedroom, ignoring Thrawn’s protest. It didn’t matter to me what else had been destroyed I just needed to make sure the most precious things I owned in the galaxy had not been discovered. This was how Thrawn found me. Kneeling on the bedroom floor holding the wooden box which held his letters to me, the holocrons, and the few other treasures I owned. I was at a loss for what to do next and angry beyond words.

“I’ll notify Palace security.” He said touching my good shoulder. I looked up at him. “You will need to look around to see what is missing and give a report.” He added. I just blinked at him for a moment, then putting the box down I got to my feet. It was then, looking around, did I realize the extent of the damage done. All of my beautiful dresses, my shoes, and clothes had been taken from the closet, slashed to shreds and strewn all over the room. My voice caught in my throat and I covered my mouth with my shaking hand. This wasn’t a simple break in, this was vicious and personal.

Thrawn activated his comm and contacted security, giving them details. He watched as I began to touch things, not pick them up or disturb how they were but just brush them with my fingertips. He finished speaking to security and went to try and stop me. I shook my head at him and continued until something gave up its secret to me. I gasped making him step forward but something in my expression made him stop mid stride.

“What is it…?” he began looking at my face.

I was beside myself with fury. “Jyrki.” I spat.

There was a moment’s stillness which was broken by the sudden arrival of half a dozen storm troopers and security agents. I picked up the wooden box and left the bedroom. I didn’t know how this could be explained, how could Jyrki have not only slipped back into the palace unknown, unnoticed but violently break into my flat as well. I brushed past the troopers and security agents to go back out into the hallway. I heard Thrawn giving them details but I didn’t pay attention. I was blinded by anger. Only one of the things I had touched had given me any information but it had been enough. I had seen Jyrki’s face twisted in rage as he slashed at my formal dresses. The thing that disturbed me more was that he had not been alone. I had no idea who the second person was, I had seen nothing of them, just sensed that there had been a presence, that someone else had been there with him. I slid with my back against the wall to the floor.

Thrawn finished with talking to the security agents came out to squat down beside me. “You need to give a statement.” He said gently. I nodded and he helped me up. “Give that to me.” He said taking the box that I had draped my arm over protectively.

The lead security agent, named Tam Erskari, was a tall, lanky man with soft blond hair and hard brown eyes. I told him everything I could and watched him mask his disbelief when I explained how I knew who had broken in. He didn’t say anything but he didn’t have to, his scepticism was obvious but I didn’t care.

“At first glance is anything missing, Miss Gabriel?” he asked.

I looked around the chaos that had once been my living room. The stormtroopers, having no one to protect or shoot had retired outside the apartment and the other three agents were in the process of gathering what ever evidence they could.

“No, I don’t think so. I don’t have much of value, I guess mostly the clothes and they just destroyed those.” I said. For the first time since discovering the break in my voice caught in my throat and I had to fight the wave of emotion that engulfed me. I bit back the threatening tears and fought the sadness in favour of anger.

He nodded taking notes. “Do you have any enemies who would do this?”

“I already told you who was responsible, Agent Erskari. His name is Jyrki Andando.” I said not bothering to hide my annoyance.

He nodded and noted it again. “Anyone else? Anyone who works inside the palace?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I don’t really know that many people here all that well.” I said which was true. “Working for Lord Vader doesn’t exactly make me popular, you know.” I said. “But I can’t think of anyone who would do this.”

He gave me an unexpected smile and nodded. “Well, I am afraid we’ll have to seal off the place until our investigation is concluded. Do you have a place to stay?” he asked.

I sighed and opened my mouth to tell him I had no idea when Thrawn answered for me. “Yes, Miss Gabriel will be under my protective custody until this matter is cleared up.” He said. “Lord Vader will expect nothing less than the best for his Personal Assistant.”

Agent Erskari nodded without raising an eyebrow and made further notation then left us to go and confer with his other agents.

“Under your protective custody?” I hissed at Thrawn under my breath.

He arched an eyebrow. “Yes. You do not have any place else safe to stay, do you? So you stay with me.”

I opened my mouth then closed it again. “No way!” I told him, raising my voice so that the security agents all stopped what they were doing and looked up at me. Thrawn clenched his jaw and then not so gently taking me by my arm led me out of the flat into the hallway. The stormtroopers had all vanished. I guessed there was not enough action for them.

“What is the problem?” he asked.

“I don’t need a babysitter, especially you!” I hissed.

“I thought you enjoyed spending time in my home?” he asked.

I blinked. “That’s entirely different and you know it!” I said.

“Merlyn, please do not fight me on this, you will not win.” He said his tone of voice changing from concerned to authoritative.

“I don’t want to live in your home. I want to live in my own!” I told him. “This is ridiculous!”

I was trying his patience. He drew a deep steadying breath. “I know that, I understand that but you need a safe place to stay away from the palace until this gets cleared up and security here can be sorted out. Jyrki Andando is a wanted felon and still he manages to not only elude the authorities here but get into a secure area right under everyone’s noses and perform acts of vandalism. This isn’t a game; your life is at stake.” He said firmly. “You will not be a prisoner, you are free to come and go as you please, but at least I know you will not be attacked in the middle of the night at my place and if that should happen, well, I am a very good shot with a pistol.” His attempt at a joke didn’t go well with me.

This was not how I wanted things to be. I was furious, I desperately wanted to bathe and wash my hair and I was in pain. To top it all off, he was right about everything he had said.
Suddenly I looked at him. “Did you know this was going to happen? Is this why you wanted me to stay with you last night?” I asked.

He looked at me for a moment and I wasn’t sure if I had crossed a line or not but I didn’t care. “If I had known, Jyrki Andando and his accomplice would be in custody and we would not be having this discussion.” He said coldly. His words made sense and while I wanted to stay angry and direct my fury at him I couldn’t, he was not the enemy. He knew he had won this round by the expression on my face. “Go and pack what you need for at least a week.”

“A week…?” I began.

He cut me off. “Just do as I ask.” He said in a tone of voice that stopped any further argument from me.

I stared at him, tight lipped and frustrated then turned abruptly on my heel and went back inside to salvage what ever clothes had been left untouched and gather the things I would need. As I began to look more closely at the damage that had been done to my home I realised that all my books had been strewn around the room. I knelt down and picked up one of my books. It was the antique one that Bel had bought for me. As I tried to straighten out their damaged pages I began to cry.

“Merlyn….” Thrawn’s voice was soft in my ear as he squatted down at my side. “This man will be found and dealt with.” He said, taking the book out of my trembling hand. “Books can be replaced, you cannot.”

“Why is he doing this?” I asked.

“Well, that is the question isn't it?” Thrawn said thoughtfully.

I nodded, indignantly wiping the tears from my face and got to my feet and continued to pack what I could. When I had stuffed a bag as full as I could Thrawn took it and the wooden box before I could protest.

“Miss Gabriel, we’ll notify you via your comm when we have completed our investigation.” Agent Erskari said. I just nodded numbly and then because there was nothing else to do I followed Thrawn back to his vehicle. There wasn’t much to say and I was too angry to start a conversation just because the silence between us was heavy and uncomfortable.

I followed him back into his home, a place that two hours earlier I had delighted in and felt lost. He didn’t say much as he led me down the hall to where his study was and opened the door across from it. I sighed and felt some of the fury in my gut lessen. He put my bag and the wooden box down on the bed. It had never occurred to me that he might have a spare room in his flat but then again I had never actually seen the whole place either.

It was a nice room, spacious and light, tastefully decorated. There was a bed, a beautiful dressing table, a comfortable chair next to a small bookshelf filled with books, a small desk with a holo terminal, a built in closet and a floor to ceiling window that opened up onto a small balcony. Before I could say anything to him he had vanished only to return with a set of towels.

“I know it isn’t what you are used to, but you will be safe here.” He said then added, “I’m sorry about this, I truly am.”

I just looked at him.

“I’ll have someone drop a vehicle off for you to use.” He said and then he handed me a card key. “This is yours. I told you, you are not a prisoner here, but I do remind you that you are under doctor’s orders to rest and it would seem to me this is a good opportunity for you to do so. Take the pain killers that were prescribed instead of suffering.” He said.

“How did you know I wasn’t taking the meds?”

He smiled slightly. “You don’t always do a very good job of hiding the fact that you are in pain.”

I couldn’t think of anything else to say so I just nodded my head again.

“There’s plenty of food in the kitchen, help yourself, you’ll find where everything is. I will return when I can although I don’t know when that will be. I am in meetings all day and goodness knows how long they will go for.” He said. “If you need anything you have my personal comm, use it.” I walked with him out to the flat’s personal landing pad.

“Thank you.” I said after a moment’s awkward silence. I should have felt grateful but I didn't. Instead I was resentful and cross.

He cupped my face with one hand. “This Pash’kja’anta will be found and dealt with appropriately.” He said.

I nodded but I didn’t believe him. Jyrki was too good and he had inside help. For a moment we just watched each other, his hand warm on my face, and then with a slight nod he turned, got into the small air speeder and left. I watched until I could no longer see him and then went back inside, closing the doors behind me. This was not how I imagined my life turning out, this was not how I imagined spending time with Thrawn and I was furious at the situation Jyrki was creating. There was nothing else to do except dig out clean clothes to wear, run a shallow bath, try to wash my hair and do as Thrawn had suggested, take the prescribed pain killers and then see what else the day brought. Still, I thought grimly as I stripped off my clothes, heaven help Jyrki if I ever got my hands on him because I would kill him and not even think about it. I wasn’t sure what he hoped to achieve with his acts of terrorism but if teaching me to hate was one of those things then he was more successful than he knew.