A few Days Off 7

I waved to Shiv and watched as he drove off. It was much later than three but I didn’t think that Thrawn would really mind. The flat was quiet when I went inside and the door to Thrawn’s study was closed. I knew he was working so I didn’t disturb him even though part of me desperately wanted to. Instead I went into the master ‘fresher and ran a bath. I poured the most expensive bubble bath I had into it and then went into the kitchen to get a glass of wine.

As I undressed I could not help think about but what Shiv had told me but I didn’t know how to react. It was overwhelming and it made me unbelievably angry but it also made me incredibly sad.

The water was a tad hotter than was comfortable and I slid slowly into the sea of foamy bubbles with a great deal of care. Usually the bathtub was one of the few places I felt safe and relaxed but at this moment it didn’t make me feel better it just enhanced the sorrow that was already overwhelming me. I took a big gulp of my wine and hiccupped.

The last few days had been stressful and unpleasant. I was getting fed up of this treatment at the hands of a man I had once looked up to and loved. I was getting tired of being hunted, of being hurt. Now I had learned that it was not just Jyrki trying to do me harm but someone who I knew fairly well, someone who I should have at least been able to trust not to do me serious harm. As the information Shiv had passed on to me slowly sank in I realised that no matter where I was it seemed that there would always be someone wishing to hurt me, even within the upper echelon of the Empire. I sat, my knees drawn tight to my chest, my forehead resting on my arms and allowed the tears I had been holding at bay to finally escape. For the first time since Jyrki’s latest attack I wept silently and this was how Thrawn found me.

“A’myshk’a?” he asked as he knocked once on the door and came in.

The late afternoon’s light was slowly fading into dusk and at first he didn’t see the tears on my face. When I did not look at him he crouched by the side of the bath tub and reached over, tucking two fingers under my chin, to bring my head up to look at him.

“What is wrong?” He asked.

I pulled my head away from him, shook my head and gulped back the desire to just burst into more tears. I had had enough of crying, especially around him.

He frowned. “I didn’t hear you come in. Why didn’t you come to me and tell me you were home?” He asked. When I didn’t answer him, he pressed. “Sj’iu tekari, what is the matter?”

I wiped the tears from my face angrily and with a deep breath to steady my voice I replied. “Your door was closed.” I told him looking up at him. “I didn’t want to disturb you while you were working.”

He sighed. One of those deep sighs that seems to come from the bottom of a person’s soul, as though he carried a huge weight and I had just made it heavier. “A’myshk’a, I know you think there is this gap, this distance between us, and that you have to respect my privacy but I am not certain why. You need to know that for you my door is always open, no matter what.”

I just looked up at Thrawn; his eyes glowed softly in the fading light.

“Did something happen at lunch with Siavaan?” he asked when I didn’t say anything. “Talk to me.”

I sighed, rested my chin on my knees. “You know, the last few days have not exactly been the greatest holiday I have ever had. I got cornered and ambushed at the medal event, so I drank too much, got a dreadful hang-over and was as sick as a drunken dewback, then when I finally felt well enough to go shopping I was attacked, stabbed, sedated by some guy I once called the love of my life. I was then dragged through hell and back due to being inadvertently poisoned by the deadliest snake venom the Anzati assassins can use, dumped in a bacta tank for over twenty hours and subjected to all the embarrassment that entails. Now, I just went out to lunch with my best friend only to find out that the man who has been trying to get me into his bed for the past two years is the same man who tried to murder me in order to disgrace you. So not only do I have to worry about Jyrki trying his best to do his worst but I also have to watch my back against the very people with whom I am supposed to work with and for, as well as trust.” The last words hiccupped as I fought against the shake in my voice.

Thrawn stroked the damp hair from my face and said nothing but the hiss breath he let out from between clenched teeth told me a lot.

“You knew, didn’t you?” I said quietly. He stayed very quiet. “Were you ever going to discuss this with me?” I asked. “You maybe want to tell me why Demetrius Zaarin tried to kill me? You want to tell me what he has against you?” I asked.

“I don’t think that this is a very good time to do so, tekari.”

I frowned at him. “Why not?”

His head cocked to one side. “Because you are sitting in the bath, naked and crying. You have me at a distinct disadvantage.” He said gently. “Even if I wanted to I could not concentrate properly on the discussion at hand, you in this state is most unsettling. I think if we are to talk about this it will not be in this room with me crouching uncomfortably on the floor beside the bathtub and you should be wearing some clothes not barely covered by bubbles. That alone is distraction enough, never mind the tears which despite my best attempts to ignore still illicit a very disturbing need to comfort you and make everything better.” He said standing up and fetching me a towel.

He waited in the living room while I dried off and dressed. I slipped into my favourite pyjama top and robe and went to join him on the couch.

He curled his arm around me and pulled me close, kissing me on the forehead. “How did you find out?”

“Shiv told me.” I said.

He nodded. “How did he learn of this?”

“One of his courtesans spoke to him about it. She was Zaarin’s favoured companion and apparently he was drunk and boasted about it after the medal ceremony. Shiv told me that apparently, according to the courtesan, Zaarin had said you were the bane of his existence and he would stop at nothing to rid the galaxy of the alien spawn that has fooled everyone into thinking he is better than everyone else, including the Emperor.”

Thrawn’s jaw tightened and he sighed. “I suspected he might have had a hand in the glow spice laced cake but I did not know for certain. He covers his tracks amazingly well. I knew that he was behind the most recent attack on me because he was the only one who would have access to that technology. He is in charge of the cloaking technology project but I have a great deal of input into it.” He said tiredly. “He is very intelligent, in some areas even more so than me and he is jealous that I have a say in some of his work. While for the most part he has masked his dislike of me and the fact that I am not human well in public, in private he has spoken vehemently against me. The fact that I have the Emperor’s ear bothers him greatly. He desires power and feels I stand in his way.”

I made a face. “I guess lord Vader would get tetchy if I killed Zaarin.” I said.

Thrawn looked at me. “I would get tetchy, as you say, if you did that.” He said sternly. “I would prefer you leave that nasty little job up to someone else and trust me, my dear, when the time is right that will happen but first we must allow Zaarin enough rope to hang himself by.”

It was my turn to look at him in question.

He continued. “Zaarin is power hungry and he believes that the Emperor is not the right person to rule this galaxy. The man is just biding his time before he does something rash. While he is very intelligent he does not always see the implications of his actions and he does not always think or plan ahead. He will eventually over step his bounds and then we can act without fearing the wrath of the other Grand Admirals or making Zaarin into some sort of martyr. I would be very grateful if you would stay out of his way and never give an inkling of what you know to him. Should he suspect that you are aware of his part in what has happened he will no doubt try to rid himself of you. I would prefer that did not happen, I am quite fond of you, you know.” He ran his fingers through my hair.

I sighed and nestled against his body. “Then I will do my best to stay away from him.” I said. I didn’t think that would be too difficult. “But why does he hate you so much?”

Thrawn shrugged. “Who knows?” he said. “There must be hundreds of reasons for a man such as him to dislike one such as me, aside from the very obvious.” He paused for a moment. “I suspect he sees me as a threat. I have the Emperor’s ear and to a certain extent his respect. I rose through the Imperial ranks swiftly, was inducted into the Canted Circle, and as well was given charge of many important projects. I am in his way and he feels that without me to compete with he will gain more power. The Emperor allows these petty squabbles to run through his court and his military because he feels these minor conflicts help to strengthen an individual’s desire to stay alive and work harder to curry his own favour. I personally find it all terribly counter productive, however I play the games because they are a means to an end.” He looked at me. “I also have my own agenda and long term goals I wish to accomplish, there is much to do to prepare for the future. I would very much hope that you are a part of this future so stay out of Zaarin’s way.”

I gave him a small smile and we were quiet for a while then I asked. “So are you done with work for now?”

He nodded. “Yes, why?”

“Just asking.”

“Well at some point I will make supper and then I wanted to watch the holo-news but after that I had nothing specific in mind.” He said. “Was there something you wanted to do this evening?”

“I think I’m doing it.” I told him as I snuggled closer into his warmth.

This earned me one of his rare, brilliant smiles and another kiss on the top of my head. “Well, we do have to leave early tomorrow.” He reminded me.

“We? You’ll be flying with me?”

He nodded. “Yes, Lord Vader has requested my presence for a brief face to face meeting on board the Executor; I told him I would be accompanying you to deliver you safely. He found that very amusing. But yes, we will both be flying out tomorrow with the transport ship. I fully expect it will be a long, dull trip and we will not be alone. Once my meetings are done I hope to be heading back to the Admonitor with a new rotation of storm-troopers.”

“Will you tell him what happened while we were en route to the Avenger?” I asked.

He drew a deep breath. “I am debating the merits of that action. I think for the moment it would be best if we did not mention it. There is no proof of who was behind the attack and perhaps it would work to my advantage if it were thought that the experiment failed, that we did not experience anything unusual.”

I was quiet for a moment then I nodded. “Okay, but if Lord Vader asks about it at all I won’t lie to him.”

Thrawn smiled. “I would not expect you to.”

I made a face at him and then sighed. “What a rotten week this has been. I didn’t get anything done that I wanted to.” I said. “I didn’t even get to buy new underwear!” He laughed. I punched him on the arm. “It’s not funny! I need new clothes and I lost the books and stuff I bought when Jyrki jumped me. I’m really cross about that!”

“I know you are, tekari.” He said getting up. “Are you hungry at all?”

“A little, I didn’t eat a lot at lunch. I mostly pushed it around the plate.”

He nodded. “How does some ke’tahl and djaari sound?”

That made me smile. “Oh, wonderful!”

“Then you can help prepare the jaari potatoes.” He said.

I loved ke’tahl and djaari, a Dantassi dish. Ke’tahl was a sort of creamy, spicy soup and djaari were small cakes of fried jaari potatoes which were sweet. It was one of the dishes that I had eaten on Hjal which I had really enjoyed. Thrawn had surprised me one day by making it for me, remembering that I had loved it the very first time I had ever tried it.

I followed him to the kitchen and took my usual place sitting on the kitchen stool by the counter watching him cook. Like everything else he did, he excelled at cooking and he really enjoyed it.

“Tea?” he asked beginning to make it before I had even answered.

“When you go back to the Unknown Regions, what will you do?” I asked.

“Continue to establish a foothold in the region and create bases to further the Imperial presence in the galaxy.” He said as he poured tea into two cups.

“What about the base on Nirauan?” I asked.

He smiled. “That will be the alpha base. It is well fortified and we continue to strengthen it and grow.” He gave me a peeler and a bowel full of jaari potatoes. “It is my hope that at some point I can convince some of my own people to join us. The Chiss, while not being overly friendly would be a valuable ally.”

“Do you think that your people would be willing to do this? I thought that they had exiled you?”

“Indeed they had but not all of my people, not all of those who served under me agreed with this punishment. There are many who remain loyal to me despite my supposed disgrace.” He said as he prepared the base for the soup.

“You seem to be falling from grace where ever you go.” I teased him.

He nodded. “Yes, rather like your ending up in a hospital bed, it is a bad habit of mine.” He added all the soup ingredients and began to stir the pot slowly. “It is a means to an end, nothing more, a ruse of mine to create an illusion for others.”

“The Emperor exiled you, banishing you from his court but you were in attendance at the medal ceremony. Doesn’t that tell people you are not really in disgrace?” I asked as I shaped the small cakes from the grated potato goo I had mixed.

“What that said was that whatever it was I was doing in the Unknown Regions was unimportant enough to be interrupted for a medal ceremony. It gave the impression that my assignment is low on the list of vital Imperial operations.” He replied, taking the small potato cakes and setting them in the frying pan.

I shook my head. “That is really crazy thinking, you know?”

He grinned. “Yes. I do know.”

“No wonder I lose at chess to you.” I said with a sigh. “There’s no way I could think like that.”

He laughed. “You lose at chess with me because you spend far too much time trying to distract me with your feminine wiles.”

“I like watching you work under pressure.” I told him with a grin. “And I rather like the results I get when you realise that resistance is futile. Anyway I usually win at the best part of the game in the end.”

His smile was warm. “Perhaps after supper we could have a rematch?”

“Gosh, I don’t know, the last few days have been such a strain, I’m not sure that I could….” I started.

He shut me up with a sudden, passionate kiss and then broke it off abruptly to continue cooking. “You were saying?” he asked smugly.

“Well… uhm…since you put it that way….” I gasped. I was glad I was seated because his kiss could still make my knees wobble.

“I thought you might see it my way.” he said with a grin. “Go set the table, supper is almost ready.”

After we had eaten and the dishes were taken care of, we ended up back on the couch watching the HoloNet. After an hour of news which was mostly dull I decided that we should bypass that whole chess playing thing and get to the real fun.