The Hunters and the Hunted 11

A book or a Holo Drama unfolds its tale one page at a time. The reader is drawn backwards and forwards through lives, through time, through entire galaxies without ever having to leave the comfort of their own homes. For me, objects unfolded their stories like frantic lovers trying to share an entire lifetimes in a single moment, jumbled and chaotic. The visions ran through my body and my brain like a herd of banthas fleeing a fire. The experience was excruciatingly painful but I didn’t let go of the lightsaber because like most people watching a Holo Drama, no matter how awful it was, how scary or how suspenseful, I wanted to know the ending.

In the space of a few moments I had learned more about the history of the object I held than any storyteller could have told me. I had also learned much more about the man I worked for, more than he would ever have wished me to know. I doubled over in agony as the phantom pain of limbs lost, love lost and every betrayal it was possible to experience shot through me. It was a misery which was never mine yet I felt it, fresh and raw. I heard someone cry out from far away. It might have been me but I would never be sure.

The first thing I became aware of when the images slowly receded was laughter, soft and malevolent. The second thing I realised was that I was huddled on the cold stone floor, curled over, gasping for breath, clutching the lightsaber with my hands to my chest so tightly that my knuckles ached. I moved slowly, looking upwards until my eyes met those of the Emperor’s. I wondered if he could read the hatred I felt for him in my stare. For a split second I considered igniting the weapon I held in my hands and killing him but from somewhere deep in my mind another voice, a voice that often came to me in my dreams, whispered me back into sanity, a lullaby of calm, and slowly the rage receded. I drew a deep shuddering breath.

“I see that rumours of this gift of yours were more than just idle gossip.” The Emperor murmured.

I could think of no answer and just worked on breathing in and out. I blinked the tears that had welled in my eyes away and ignored them as they rolled down my cheeks.

“Well, child, tell me what you saw.” He said. His voice was gentle, almost avuncular but there was no mistaking the hardness behind it. This was not a request I could refuse.

“This was Anakin’s. He built it.” This weapon is your life…words Anakin had heard more times than I could ever have counted echoed in my head. “He used it during the Clone wars.” I said when I finally found my voice. “He used it when he fought against his mentor, Obi Wan Kenobi on a planet filled with fire.” There was so much more to this story, so much more history which I knew but I could never have been able to sum up the lifetime’s worth of pictures in a few sentences. This was the lightsaber that had cut down the children in the Jedi Temple, the same weapon that had slaughtered the separatists who were waiting word from their master on Mustafar. Its memories held so much rage and sorrow that I did not think there was enough space in the galaxy to contain them all. No wonder Lord Vader was the way he was. I did not know how he lived with these memories on a daily basis.

“What happened at Mustafar?” the Emperor prompted.

“There was a battle.” I said slowly. “Between Kenobi and Anakin,” The terrible emotions I felt threatened to overwhelm me and I had to fight to steady my voice. “There was so much anger and so much hatred. Anakin thought that Kenobi had betrayed him…betrayed you and everything that he believed in. He was so angry, so confused, and so afraid… he lost his mind….” I could not put what I had been shown into any coherent story. Anakin had not known what to do. He had been twisted into something he didn’t know how to cope with so he slipped into the dark abyss. He could not reconcile what he had done with what had been done to him or with what he had seen so he had simply given into it and had lost his soul to the man who would become Emperor.

“Yes,” The Emperor sighed lovingly. “Continue.”

“Kenobi beat Anakin. Anakin thought he could win but he let his arrogance get in the way and Kenobi… Kenobi severed Anakin’s arms and legs….” My voice caught, I had felt the pain flash through me as though it were my limbs that Kenobi’s lightsaber had sliced through flesh in a move so graceful it was like a dance. The agony was unbearable. The Emperor said nothing. He was a surprisingly patient man who knew when and how to wait. I found my voice and continued. “Then he took the weapon, he kept it for many years safe and secret. He gave it to the boy named Luke and showed him how to use it.” I closed my eyes. There were so many images, I didn’t know how to unravel them. What I did not tell the Emperor was how Kenobi would take the lightsaber out of the box he had hidden it in every now and then to look at it and weep for the one who had once owned it. He had felt responsible for what had happened to Anakin. He had not known how deep the betrayal had gone until the very end and it had shocked him to his very core. He had loved Anakin as a brother and a part of him had died when Anakin had turned. So many lives had been shattered all because of Palpatine. It was bewildering that one man could wreck so much havoc.

The Emperor nodded as if this news was not unknown to him already. “Tell me what happened on Cloud city.”

“Lord Vader and Luke, they fought.” I told him. “Luke came to Cloud city because he wanted to rescue his friends from Lord Vader but he didn’t know it was a trap. Lord Vader wanted to seduce him into falling into the carbon freeze unit but Luke was able to escape this fate. Lord Vader wanted to bring him back to you, as a gift, alive but encased in carbonite.” My voice sounded flat. Vader’s voice, a remnant of the lightsaber’s memory, echoed in my ears…The force is with you young Skywalker…but you are not a Jedi yet…Luke had been so scared but so determined as well. He did not know that he was facing his father. “The fight was so one sided. Vader played with him, tried to seduce him into failing. Luke had no chance but he landed a lucky blow which caught Lord Vader on the shoulder. In retaliation, Lord Vader cut off Luke’s hand.” I said quietly. “I do not know what happened after this. That’s where the memories end.”

“You sense no deception in Lord Vader? No desire to save or protect this boy? No desire to tell this boy of his heritage?”

I shook my head. “No Excellency. This weapon holds no memory of Luke knowing who his father is. Lord Vader only wished to please you. He lives to serve you.”

“Do you truly believe that, my dear?”

“Yes.” I said with as much conviction as I could muster.

There was a long moment of uncomfortable silence as the Emperor weighed my words, sifted to find a lie. But I had told the truth and the visions that had assaulted me were, for the most part, from Anakin’s time with this weapon not Luke’s. I let him probe because there had been nothing to hide. Satisfied that I had not been withholding anything he wanted to hear, the Emperor chuckled. It wasn’t a very good sound.

“Your loyalty to my apprentice is delightfully touching. What has he done to deserve such admiration, child? He is a man who has done despicable things. He slaughters without thought of mercy or second chances; he is ruthless and full of hate. He would kill you in an instant if you were not of use to him in some way or under my protection, yet you come to his defence without hesitation.” He asked as he leaned forward to take the lightsaber back out of my shaking hand.

I did not know what to say. I had no answers for this question because I did not understand myself what it was that bound me to a man so consumed by regret, hatred and anger it was devouring him up from the inside out. Perhaps a part of me believed that some where deep inside of Lord Vader a piece of the man he had once been still remained, because I knew he had once loved someone so much he was willing to risk everything for her, or maybe it was because he had given me a place and a purpose. I simply didn’t know.

“No matter, my dear.” The Emperor said when I didn’t answer him. “Lord Vader knows his place as will you, soon enough.” He drew a deep breath. “I was not aware you had such a valuable gift until quite recently but given how it seems to affect you I can understand why you choose to keep it hidden.” He gracefully placed the lightsaber back in its box and sealed it.

From my place on the floor, I looked up at him wondering if I was now to be punished for keeping it a secret.

“You must have Kiffar blood in you. Psychometry is their particular gift.” He mused. “It would be of interest to try and trace your bloodline. I am quite certain we would find Jedi blood in there somewhere, would we not?”

I didn’t answer and for what seemed to me to be an eternity he stared into my face, into my eyes, as though he were looking as deep into my soul as he could but I had learned how to mask some of my feelings. I had learned how to hide what I thought and what I felt. Perhaps not all of it and certainly had he dug hard enough the Emperor, with his power, would have broken through my walls but I had learned and it had been Lord Vader who had taught me. I just stared back, waiting. I wasn’t sure if his question was rhetorical. If he already knew the answer and just wanted to hear me confirm it or because he really had no idea about my family. Either way I wasn’t answering.

He smiled at me and a part of me felt as though it had died because I realised, as I knelt on the floor, that it did not matter if I could hide some of what I felt from this man or not. It did not matter if he knew who my birth parents really were. He knew what I could do, he had learned of my gift, the only one that was not a force talent but was simply enhanced by the force. The one gift that was the most useful to him and most terrifying to me.

He touched something on the arm of his throne as he spoke to me, his voice now laced with disinterest. “You may leave. Lord Vader does not like to be kept waiting. Aloo will show you out.” He said and waved me away.

His throne turned around and as it did I watched him caress the box which held Luke’s lightsaber along with the boy's severed hand, a grisly memento of the task Lord Vader had failed to complete. I stood up slowly, my legs were still shaky and politely curtsied although the Emperor had his back to me and could not see it. No matter what I felt, no matter what occurred, courtesy needed to be observed. Numbly I walked to the turbo lift where the Emperor’s aide was waiting for me. I was calm and collected as I glanced at him but on the inside I wanted to run away as fast as I could and never look back. The last memory I would have of that dreadful room was the Emperor’s soft laughter.

Lord Vader stood with his hands behind his back, staring at the Chassu painting. I reached out to him with the force but he blocked it. “You will pilot me back to the Executor and then we will be heading back to the Core.” He said coldly without turning to look at me. He had not known why the Emperor had wished to see me but he had suspected and now he was unsure of where I stood, uncertain of what I had told the Emperor and whether or not he could trust me. It was at that moment I understood he thought I had betrayed him and I did not know how to tell him this was not the case.

“Hurry up, girl!” he snapped.

I nodded and followed him, his Noghri slipping into the shadows behind me and we went back to the shuttle the same way we had come. As gravity lost its grip on the small ship and the planet receded into the distance I felt an enormous sense of relief. I did not know what usually went on down on Wayland, or what terrible secrets the mountain hideaway held but I knew for certain that I never wanted to set foot there ever again.

The return to the Executor from Wayland was difficult. I had been badly shaken by what the Emperor’s little gift from lord Vader had shown me. It had been work just to concentrate on piloting the shuttle without mistakes. We were about half way back to the Executor when Lord Vader had joined me in the cockpit. I guessed that his curiosity had gotten the better of him but for a long time neither of us spoke.

It was me that broke the silence. “Did you tell him? Did you tell him about my gifts, about what I can do?” I asked suddenly, angrily. He did not turn his head to look at me. He sat still in the co pilot’s chair and stared straight ahead out into space. I waited for him to answer; I only needed to ask the question once.

“No.” he answered finally. “What did he want from you?”

“He gave me your… I mean Luke’s lightsaber to hold.” I told him flatly.

There was a terrible silence and then he asked. “What did you tell him?”

“Nothing he did not already know.” I said coldly. “If he did not find out about my psychometric talent from you, then how did he find out?”

“Perhaps you should pose this question to the man whose bed you share.” He said, glancing at me.

“Why? Thrawn would have no reason to tell the Emperor about what I can do.” I snapped. I did not want to even hear that sort of suggestion but the seed of doubt had been planted. I had never actually asked Thrawn not to speak of it. I had just assumed he would not betray my trust. I had assumed that he understood how awful this particular talent was for me and the consequences, should the Emperor find out what I could do, would be terrible. I shook my head, as if I could shake the doubts away. “No, he would never do that.”

Lord Vader shook his head. “Are you really so naïve?” he asked.

I looked at him, waiting for him to explain. I was getting tired of hearing that word.

He sighed, or came as close to sighing as he was physically capable of. “Admiral Thrawn has his own agenda with the Emperor. It would earn him great favour to reveal something of value to my Master about you. This gift you have is very rare and very useful to him.”

It was my turn to shake my head. “No, Thrawn cares for me; he would not use me as a tool.”

“Love is blind and you are stupid.” He growled. I guess he knew a thing or two about this particular subject.

I had to take a deep breath to calm down the rising annoyance I felt stir in my gut. I gritted my teeth and concentrated on the hyperspace lane we were flying through.

“What did you tell the Emperor?” Vader asked again, it wouldn’t be pretty if he had to ask me a third time so I told him the gist of it. There was no need for details, he knew them all intimately.

Lord Vader was thoughtful as he replied. “So, you were telling me the truth.” He mused.

“I don’t lie to you.” I snapped crossly.

He just chuckled and folded his arms across his chest. “Everybody lies girl, when it suits their purpose.”

I gave him a filthy look and sighed. I thought about what we had just talked about. The Emperor had indeed known everything I had told him, none of it had come as a surprise. He had not needed me to confirm these things because he had already known the truth. The one thing he had wanted to know was the one thing I had been unable to tell him. So all he had done was test his hunch about me in the in the most brutal possible way. I was certain that Thrawn had not spoken to Palpatine about my talents, I had betrayed myself.

While I had learned so much about the force and how to use it over the past few years I had never learned how to control the ability to read the memories from objects and this talent was growing in strength. Now my head was filled with bits and pieces of the nightmare that Lord Vader lived with every day.

In my life I had never known such violence or anger. Anakin had chosen his path because he had desperately wanted to save his wife. The death of his mother had scarred him deeply and he had feared losing another person that he loved so much. But I had a hard time understanding how he could have gone so far. How he could have believed that Darth Sidious, who was actually Palpatine, could save his wife with the Force was beyond me. It was because of this belief; this lie that Palpatine had told that Anakin had gone on to brutally murder the younglings at the Temple. With this action, Anakin’s fall from grace was utterly complete.

I wondered, as we sat there, if it was ever possible to escape one’s past and escape one’s destiny. My birth mother had hidden me to protect me, knowing that if I had indeed inherited her talents I would be a target, yet in the end I had ended up in the exact place with the exact people she had tried to protect me from. It didn’t feel good, especially in light of all I now knew. The Emperor’s question came back to nag at me. I glanced at Lord Vader and wondered what A’kali L’uanna would think of me now had she lived? The answer that wormed up through my gut was not positive. She would have been horrified and who could have blamed her. I had become attached to and admired the man who had turned against her and all the other Jedi. Anakin was a traitor to his kind. The man, who had, as the Emperor had said, committed more atrocities than one person could even consider. In my small corner of Lord Vader’s life I had refused to see these things but the deaths and the savagery seeped its way past my blind-spot. He had slaughtered children. Nothing I could think of made that act justifiable, not even saving Padmé’s life. I sighed and blinked away tears which threatened to blur my vision, the horror of my experience in Palpatine’s chamber receding to a numb sort of shock.

My sigh caught Lord Vader’s attention and I felt him turn to glance at me but I didn’t return his gaze. Instead I turned my head away from him so that I was staring out of the side view port into the weird illumination that was the hyperspace lane we were in. I felt his Force touch, a questioning like itch in the back of my brain, but pushed it away. He was surprised and there was a momentary flash of anger and perhaps even hurt from his side but then he withdrew. He was satisfied that whatever it was he was hiding from his Master had stayed hidden. I was startled to realise that I was deeply angry with him. I wasn’t sure I could define the reason why. The mood which permeated the cockpit was oppressive and the rest of the trip back to the Executor was uncomfortably silent.