The Wrong Side of Right 7

Thrawn sat on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees, his face resting in his hands. I stroked his bare back with my finger tips.

“Are you really alright?” I asked.

He turned his head to glance at me. “Yes, I am just exhausted, sj’iu tekari. This has been a difficult campaign.” He said.

“So he’s finally dead?” I asked, getting up to curl about his back, pressing my cheek against his skin. When I kissed him on the shoulder he reached back and caressed my hair then continued to undress.

“Yes.” His reply sounded so weary it almost broke my heart.

“I am so glad you’re home.” I told him quietly.

I hadn’t seen him in what seemed like forever and even though the boys in the spook room had done their best to let me know what was going on the details were greatly lacking. I got snippets of information mostly with the tag line – he’s alright- tacked on for good measure. Sometimes, when he was actually on planet Lord Vader would tell me more but mainly the time together, which did not involve work, was spent with him teaching me.

It became a pattern of his to roust me out of bed and send for me to meet him at his Coruscant home. Most of the time he would instruct me in methods he had learned from his masters long before the mask and the anger, often we would spar and sometimes we would talk. It was a strange time and there was an odd sense of limbo, of waiting for something to happen. The strange restlessness that had permeated the Imperial Palace seeped its way into daily Coruscant life. Despite his annoying habit of waking me up at odd hours, I didn’t mind, especially since Lord Vader never did this when Thrawn was on planet only when he was away.

Oddly enough, I welcomed Lord Vader’s presence and the peculiar hours he kept didn’t really bother me, I was used to them. If he felt the same for me he never said, he was not a person to speak over how he felt but I got the impression he was happy to have someone to wake up in the small hours of the night, to keep him company. Loneliness comes in many guises, who was I to question this? I suppose it was a compliment that he allowed me such a place in his private life. I knew more about him than almost anyone else, while I could never condone the terrible things he did, I understood, maybe just a little better than most, why he was the way he was. He also understood about fear, about worry for someone else.

Despite the fact that I tried to keep my feelings about Thrawn and what he was doing to myself, Lord Vader knew anyway, how could he not? So he would impart knowledge of Thrawn’s work in small careful nuggets for which I was grateful. He knew things no on eels would tell me. I supposed it served his own purpose to keep me informed and up to date. Worried, I was not much use to him and my work suffered, my studies suffered. Much of the news I heard never made it to public channels so I was glad I had my own resources. Still, when the conflict with Zaarin was finally over I was relieved beyond belief. I knew that Thrawn was on his way back to Coruscant because Lord Vader had let me know.

It had been just past three in the morning when Thrawn had finally returned home. I had not been sleeping well so when the door to the flat opened I had woken up instantly. I had turned on the small side lamp to let him know I was awake and that there was no need for stealth. I had not been prepared for how worn out he looked when he had walked in the bedroom. He had motioned for me not to get out of bed and had begun to undress right away; stripping out of his uniform, stripping away the vestiges of the battle he had been instrumental in winning. I was glad he had returned safely.

“Do you want a cup of tea.” I asked as he got up from the bed, moving away from my embrace to go to the refresher.

“No, but a brandy would not be unwelcome.” He said before he closed the door. “I’ll join you in a few minutes.”

I got up, pulled on a robe and padded, barefoot, to the kitchen. Two glasses of brandy in hand I went into the living room, set the glasses on the table and lit a couple of candles. I could hear when he finished showering and I smiled when he joined me, wearing the long robe I had bought for him to replace the one I had stolen from him, the scent of his damp hair and soap filling the air.

“I suppose you will want to hear all about it then?” He asked touching is glass to mine.

“At least the Daily Digest version.” I replied. “But I don’t really need all the gory details and only if you want to talk about it.”

He nodded and caressed the side of my face gently. “How much do you know?” He asked sipping his drink slowly.

“Well, after Zaarin’s kidnapping attempt failed he vanished and then there were reports that he had begun to rain Imperial facilities, I am guessing he wanted to slow production of the TIE advanced. I heard that the battles were pretty vicious. I also heard there were rebels adding to the mix and that Zaarin actually used an interdictor against you while you were on board the Sceltor. I heard that your ship took heavy damage but everyone I talked with went to great pains to let me know you were okay.”

He smiled. “I see your friends in Intel have been keeping you informed.”

“They said you had come back to the Core but it was a quick turn around.” I told him.

He nodded. “That is true, though I stayed onboard while we were in space dock to supervise the repairs. I did send you a message to let you know that I was alright.”

I smiled at that memory, a bouquet of white Corellian roses mixed with pale blue lilies and tiny bright red poppet-blossoms. “I got it.” He had sent me flowers, much as he had once before letting me know that he was not so easy to kill, still I had been a bit freaked out. “But seeing you alive in person would have been nice.” I added. “I was worried.”

“Duty comes first, tekari.” He chided gently.

I rolled my eyes at him. “I know that.” I said and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

“So do you know that when we returned to go after Zaarin he was trying to destroy the TIE Defender project?”

I nodded. “Yes, but didn’t you get a couple of prototypes out before he destroyed the place?”

“Three in total,” he said, “Which we shipped in separate corvettes to Coruscant but one was stolen by pirates while en route.”

I gave a short, mirthless laugh, “I heard about that, the pirates tried to auction it off to the highest bidder, which turned out to be the Emperor.” I said. “I suppose it’s a good thing the Emperor is so wealthy he can buy back his own technology.” I added. “And didn’t Zaarin have some involvement with the pirates?”

Thrawn drew a deep breath. “Yes. He used everything available to him to try and keep us from finding and using the prototypes. It got very messy.” He said quietly. “I lost an ISD and a lot of good people. Fighting Zaarin was sometimes like fighting a ghost. It was very challenging and sometimes very frustrating.”

“Bet you almost wish I had done away with him when I had the chance!”

He just gave me a hard look and did not dignify my question with an answer “It was a jax and mouse game for a while and most intriguing to do battle against someone with such a keen mind.”

“They announced your promotion, by the way.” I said when he stopped to take a sip of his drink.

“Yes, there was another ceremony done out in the Eva-T system; you know how the Emperor likes things done properly.” He said with a touch of disdain. “However, I felt it was inappropriate given the circumstances.”

“The Emperor could afford to let everyone know I suppose, after all it was official that Zaarin was a traitor and you would probably win.” I did not bother to hid the bitterness I felt.

Thrawn arched an eyebrow at me. “So you figured out Palpatine’s game then? Clever girl.” He said softly.

“He really is evil.”

Thrawn simply shrugged.

“Well at least now I get to call you Grand Admiral for real.” My words made him smile. “So what finally happened?” I asked.

“We attacked his convoys based on information from prisoners, it was mostly a success except when Zaarin ambushed us and we lost the ISD. After this we used missile boats to lure him out of hiding. I suppose he must have begun to feel desperate because it ended up that he stole the corvette with the cloaking device. He thought he could use it to escape but he did not realise there was a major design flaw. When he tried to make the jump into hyperspace the cloak became unstable and exploded. He was killed instantly.”

“Well, I can’t say I am sorry to hear that he is finally dead.”

Thrawn looked at me for a moment. “Nor can I, tekari, nor can I.”

“What about the cloaking technology?”

“Gone. The Emperor decided that it was too unstable to continue with the project for now and he has his mind on other things these days.”

I made a face. “Right, the new battle station and his nefarious plan to trap the rebels.”

“You disagree with this plan?” he asked mildly in that manner which let me know I wasn’t the only one and that he was just interested in knowing why.

“I think it is stupid.” I snapped crossly, echoing Lord Vader’s sentiments. “He’s underestimated the rebels before and look at what happened.”

Thrawn nodded. “He is taking a risk, I agree, but the rebellion’s fleet is limited as is their technology. If the battle station’s weapon is fully operational which is the plan, the rebels won’t stand much of a chance.”

I sighed as I swished the last of my brandy around in the glass. “You said so yourself, the rebels have nothing to lose, they will fight like cornered animals and the Emperor is too sure this plan will work. Lord Vader on the other hand….”

“I know how Vader feels, believe me I have heard plenty about it. He even asked me to speak to the Emperor on the subject, which I tried to do but was told on no certain terms to leave it alone. The Emperor does not like to be told he is wrong and I have done that one too many times it seems.” Thrawn said softly. “I was not part of the planning for this particular trap so I don’t know all the details and I also have my reservations but I cannot argue against the amount fire power the Empire has.”

“As I recall, that is what everyone thought the last time one of these huge battle stations was built and look at what happened to that one!” Vader’s words echoed in my head. I told them that ridiculous weapon was nothing in comparison to the power of the force but they just laughed. Never underestimate the power of the force and never underestimate a force user. He had said.

Thrawn merely nodded and changed the subject. “So, my dear, how have you been?” I knew better than to try and fight him when he did this. If there was more to say about the episode with Zaarin, when he was ready, he would tell me. I had meant what I had said, the details were not important I was just glad Zaarin was dead and Thrawn was home.

“Busy, mostly even though Lord Vader left a week ago to go and over see the lagging construction on the new battle station. He keeps me on my toes with all the stuff he needs done. And when he is in space his schedule is non existent so he wakes me up at the weirdest times to get stuff sorted for him. I am kind of surprised he hasn’t asked me to come out and join him on board the Executor yet, to be honest, not that I mind.” I said. “Oh and I had an interesting run with Mara Jade a few days ago.” I shrugged. “Mostly I just work and that has been insane especially since the death of Xizor, you heard about that right?”

He nodded. “I did, bad news travels faster than light speed. Although I cannot say I am sad to see the back of him. If I understood the story correctly all his plotting was to get revenge for something Lord Vader had done years ago.” He said.

I nodded and filled him in on the details.

“I can understand Xizor’s wrath and I have to say I am impressed by his patience and planning but once again it seems everyone underestimated young Skywalker.”

“Yep and Xizor underestimated Lord Vader. He thought that Vader’s fear of the Emperor’s wrath would keep him safe enough. I wish I could have seen the look on Xizor’s face when he realised that was not the case.”

“Was Vader punished?”

I shook my head. “Not that I know of. I personally think the Emperor found it all very amusing and couldn’t really care a wamp rat’s ass if Xizor lived or died. I think he just enjoy baiting Lord Vader.”

“That guess is probably more truth than any of us will know.” Thrawn replied. “What happened with Mara Jade?”

“Oh, well I was in the training room trying to work on a particular move Lord Vader was teaching me when she came in. I haven’t seen her around much to be honest. I just figured she was off saving the galaxy from evil doers or something along those lines so I was kind of surprised. Anyway, she didn’t waste much time in getting to the point and wanted to know what working as a dancer for Jabba the Hutt was like.”

I smiled at the reaction on Thrawn’s face. “Really?”

I nodded. “It was a little odd, but since she asked I told her what I knew. Then she started asking me about the palace and the people who worked there and dancing there. Her questions were pretty pointed so I knew she was on a fact finding mission. I haven’t worked there in a while but things with Jabba don’t change a lot. I am pretty sure it’s same old same old, if you know what I mean.”

He nodded. “Do you know what she needed the information for?”

“No. She likes to gather intel not give it out. Although, I did get the distinct impression that asking me had not exactly been her idea. I suspect the Emperor had a hand in that and he knows well enough where I worked before I came here.” I replied. “It could mean anything from the Emperor wanting to blow up Jabba’s palace and sending her to do it or she’s fed up with working for the Empire and wants to try her hand at another profession. I really don’t know. She didn’t lie to me about anything but she didn’t give much away either but what ever she is doing it made her a little nervous so it must be big.” I shrugged. “I wasn’t going to press her either because to be honest, Za’ar, I just don’t care. She is just another one of the Emperor’s pawns and I have no desire to get tangled in her business.”

“That was probably wise, tekari. The Emperor does like to play his games.” Thrawn said with a sigh, quietly, drinking the last of his brandy, setting the empty glass back on the table. “I guess we will know what he was up to when we see how it all plays out.” He said getting to his feet, offering me a hand up.

“So now what?” I asked as he tugged me up out of my seat, wrapped his arms about my waist and pulled me in to hold me tightly. When I looked up into his face I could see the fatigue etched on it. I suppose he read the concern in my eyes because he smiled then and kissed me lightly on the forehead.

“Now, we go to bed.” He said quietly, caressing my face with his beautiful hands. I was not about to argue with him on this at all. I looked at him for a moment and felt my heart suddenly skip. I know he noticed. He could see it in my eyes, the flush on my cheeks, he always noticed. Despite the fact we were both tired, the desire between us blossomed and he smiled that smile. He moved my hair aside to kiss the side of my neck.

“I thought you were tired?” I murmured. I could sense his own waking need. I had tuned into that a very long time ago, and now I could feel it almost before he could.

His hands swept the robe off my body and then grazed up under the shirt top. I gasped.

“I am,” He said. He lifted the top over my head and my bare skin prickled as nothing but air brushed against it.

“I was wearing that.” I whispered.

He gave me a feral smile. “Not anymore.” And before I could argue he swept me up and carried me to the bedroom. “Sometimes, tekari, even I need to lose myself in the good to forget about the bad.” He said as he laid me on the bed. He disrobed and I smiled. His own interest was more than apparent.

“Well, welcome home.” I whispered in his ear when he lay down in the space I made for him as I moved my legs. Any more words spoken were lost in the urgency of his mouth meeting mine and after that the conversation was of a vastly different nature. How I treasured these bedroom discussions.

I was not at all surprised when two days after his return Thrawn told me he had been ordered back to the Unknown Regions to continue the task he had started. Unspoken but implied the Emperor’s command was telling him to stay away from Endor. It also did not surprise me that the day he gave me this news Lord Vader summoned me to join him on board the Executor.

Luckily for me, I had enough time to pack carefully but this time I decided on leaving almost everything I usually dragged with me, including his letters and gifts, behind. Mostly it had been his doing. I had been sitting on the bed in the room that was mine agonizing over what to bring when he had come in to ask if I wanted tea and then just stared at me with that raised eyebrow look.

“Why do you do this every time you get called off world?” He had asked.

“I hate leaving my things behind.”

“They are safer here than anywhere else, tekari.” He had said. “Especially the letters, I will write more, you know.”

I sighed. “I know, it’s just that I just miss you, I miss …well I miss home… and the letters are like having a part of you with me. Great sarlacc that sounds so sappy.” I had said with a shrug, the fact that I caressed the letters which lay on the bed with trembling finger tips had not gone unnoticed.

His expression had softened then and he had sat down beside me on the bed. “Leave these things here, take only what you need. This flat is safe, your treasures are safe. I would not like to know what would happen if these letters should end up in the wrong hands.” He said.

“No one can read them!” I said, “At least most of them anyway, they are in Cheunh.”

He had looked at me then, “Are you willing to take that chance?” his voice soft, dangerous.

He was of course right. “No.” I had said, making a face. It touched him, I think, that I dragged these things around with me every time I went off world. That his letters meant so much to me, of course he had mine hidden away as well. So in the end we were as bad as each other.

“I promise, I’ll write and send books enough to keep that curious mind of your busy.” His finger tips grazed through my hair. “I doubt you’ll be away for that long anyway. After all Coruscant is the seat of power and once this latest battle is over with hopefully there will be some semblance of peace. You won’t be gone long enough to miss me.” He had said with a smile. He had meant his words to be reassuring but they sent a shiver down my spine.

In the end, I had taken his advice and packed up my little treasures in the box I kept them in and tucked them away in the back of the closet under a pile of blankets. This amused Thrawn to no end who just watched me shaking his head in silent laughter. How could I explain to him that if I had found Jyrki’s secret hidden away in the Jedi Temple that I was sure someone, if they tried hard enough, could find mine. Call me paranoid but I wasn’t taking chances.

I had not realised that I had made a home in his flat on Coruscant. But when I thought about it, it seemed silly to keep dragging my stuff everywhere I went. The Executor was not my home, there was no need to try and make it into one. The only thing I hesitated over was the lightsaber and in the end I reasoned that I could tuck it in my satchel and carry it with me along with my ident cards and my datacard reader.

“Don’t spend all night in here sorting out the past, tekari; I just opened a rather nice bottle of wine.” He had said, cupping my face to kiss me. His smile had told me all I had needed to know and he caught the blush that coloured my cheeks. “I want to spend the last evening we’ll have together for a while … together.”

The rest of the evening and night had been filled with enough pleasurable memories to last a life time. Chiss, he had once said, have amazing stamina, and this was true but I had been well trained in the Bunduki martial arts and so did I. We teased and played each other in way I suspect would make his people squirm. In between the passion were pockets of subtle and gentle affection, words and stories, memory and thought. I knew as I lay in the safe circle of his arms that as he had been the first man to truly love me, to bed me, he would also be the last.

I hadn’t lied before when I had told him, there was no other. If I had known what was to come, know how things were going to change I would have told him truly how I felt, that which I kept so close to my heart, words we never ever spoke for what was between us. As it was, I was certain he knew anyway, how could he not, but I would wish I had told him. Our passion for one another could have rivalled the fire from the twin suns of Tatooine but some how passion is never enough when everything else around you is broken.

With our goodbyes said quietly and in private, once again I left Coruscant on board a shuttle headed for the Outer Rim Territories to the Endor system. I sat as a passenger this time and was oddly grateful for it.

The journey was long and quiet; the shuttle was mostly empty save for a couple of Imperial Intel officers who ignored me completely. I was glad of the large selection of electronic books Thrawn had given me before I left but for much of the journey I could not actually concentrate on reading, instead I spent the time either staring out into the hyperspace lane, absently playing with the necklace I always wore, the small round ma’arilite stone with the hidden star in it, or sitting on my own in the tiny galley drinking tea.

So much had happened in what seemed to be such a short time that I had barely had time to put it all together. Xizor was dead, Zaarin was dead, two men who had caused so much trouble for such a long time suddenly gone. I wasn’t unhappy about their deaths but it all seemed so surreal.

Thrawn had spoken sparingly about the details in the drawn out battles Zaarin had caused. I knew better than to push him. He was angry with himself for losing an ISD, for losing so many men and women and decent pilots. He was also angry with himself for not seeing everything play out the way he usually could. I had to remind him that it was he who had told me often enough of Zaarin’s intelligence and tactical genius. That in spite of Zaarin’s intelligence Thrawn had still managed to out-think him on more than one occasion. It had not helped to ease his mind.

Like Xizor, Zaarin had had an axe to grind and his hatred of the Emperor as well as Thrawn had burned deeply inside of him driving him to do what he did. I didn’t understand why he had loathed the Emperor so much. I knew why I hated Palpatine but Zaarin had no obvious reason to and the only thing I could put it all down to was Zaarin’s lust for power. In the end it was his own greed that did him in, that and the fact that Thrawn knew something he did not. My uncle had once told me that in the end everything always came down to details. When I had repeated this to Thrawn he had just laughed bitterly. I toyed with the pendant around my throat and sighed. In the end I closed my eyes and dozed fitfully until we landed on board the Executor.