In the City that never sleeps 7

I was instantly awake. It was that weird state of hyper awareness that comes when you wake up cold in the middle of the night knowing something isn’t right. My hand snaked under my pillow and curled around the lightsaber I been keeping there. I lay as still as I could and listened. I could hear nothing, but I knew that someone was in the flat; I felt a presence as sure as I felt the weapon I was clutching. I fought to slow my racing heart and opened myself up to the force which flowed around me like sand across the ground in a storm. I searched the flat with my mind and when I found the reason I had woken up I let out a silent sigh of relief.

Thrawn moved through his own home as though he were the intruder not the owner. He walked so quietly I would have had no idea where he was if I could not sense him through the force. When he reached the bedroom I was no longer holding my lightsaber.

“You can turn on the light, I’m not asleep.” I said as he walked silently across the wooden floor. He had taken his shoes off, it made me smile. He didn’t turn the bedroom light on, instead he switched on the one in the bathroom so that it illuminated the bedroom just enough for him not to bang into the bed the way I always did but not enough to make me squint. He didn’t actually need to turn any lights on, so I was pretty sure this was for my benefit.

“I didn’t want to wake you.” He told me as he came to the edge of the bed and undressed.

I looked up at him; he had his back to me. “That happened the moment you entered the flat.”

“I should have known, I suppose.” He said. “You really are quite scary, you know.” He teased but he sounded tired. The light from the bathroom was soft, illuminating the outline his body as he stripped off his clothes. I longed to reach out and touch him but the sharp state of being awake had shifted back into a warm doziness and I couldn’t be bothered to move. I yawned.

He got up, went to the bathroom, closed the door and the room was plunged back into the usual darkness. I rolled back over onto my side and curled around the bantha toy. I heard Thrawn come out of the bathroom, but he had turned off the light before he opened the door. I felt him pull aside the covers and get into bed. He spooned himself around me, my back to his front, his arm curled around my waist, stopping when his hand touched synthetic fur.

“Is there something you want to tell me, sj’iu tekari?” he murmured in my ear.

“That’s Runi’.” I answered. “Shiv and the gang’s birthday gift to me.” I said. I rolled over onto my back making him do the same. I pulled Runi’ out from under the sheets and dumped him on Thrawn’s chest. He gave a little laugh as he took the toy and looked at him.

“A very accurate likeness of a Bantha.” He said, appreciatively.

“It’s too dark to see him that clearly.”

I felt him look at me and I felt his eyebrow go up. “My dear, I keep telling you, Chiss have excellent night vision.”

I stuck my tongue out at him and he chuckled. “I saw that as well.” He said. “I take it he was my substitute while I was gone?” He added.

“I wasn’t sleeping well.” I told him by way of answer, settling down again. He was quiet for a long moment, staring at the Bantha balanced on his chest.

“As in nightmares or as in working too much or maybe just staying up far too late with Shiv watching too much HoloNet?”

“Nightmares.”

“This has to do with what happened after Bespin?” He asked. “I sensed there was something you were not telling me in your last letter.”

I nodded. “It was bad.” I said.

He shifted a little to look at me. He patted the bantha on his chest. “Can I put your little friend here on the floor?” He asked. “Or will he be offended?”

“Banthas generally don’t like being cooped up, so he’ll probably be happier on the floor.” I said as I shifted so that one leg slung across his hips and my arm across his chest. I rested my head in the hollow his shoulder made for me, feeling him move as he put Runi’ down beside the bed. Then he wrapped the arms around me. I breathed him in deeply, hardly believing that he was here. He smelled like spice and soap. He ran his fingers through my hair.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

“The Emperor found out about my talent for reading objects.” I said bluntly and quickly, as though saying fast would make it go away.

He let out a slow breath. A ripple of anger flashed through him and I could feel it when he clenched his jaw. “What did he use to test you?” There was a strange tightness in his voice.

“Something terrible and if it’s okay with you I’d rather not talk about it in the dark.”

He pulled me closer to him as if that could protect me from what had already happened. “When you are ready, I will listen.”

“I am so glad you are back.” I told him looking up at him.

“I know you are.” He answered quietly. Something in his voice made me look up at him. I could see his eyes, a soft red glow in the dimly lit bedroom. He kissed me on the forehead in that wonderful manner he had which said, you are mine, I am here so you are safe, and I am quite tired so can we please just go to sleep now? I just closed my eyes and for the first time since returning from Wayland I slept the rest of the whole night through.

I woke up late, sunlight streamed into the bedroom, dancing through the gauzy white curtains which shifted in the little breeze coming through the open window. I was alone in the bed except for the stuffed bantha which occupied the side of the bed Thrawn slept on. It made me smile. I got up, slipped on a robe and made my way to the kitchen where I was handed a cup of creamy stimcaf with a smile that made my heart speed up more than the stimcaf ever could.

“You were so fast asleep that I didn’t want to wake you.” He said by way of explanation. He was already showered and dressed.

“Thank-you.”

“No nightmares?” He asked, pushing a plate of warm, buttered scones in my direction.

I sipped the hot stimcaf gratefully. “No nightmares.” I confirmed.

He simply nodded and went back to his own drink, reading the latest news flimsy that had been delivered.

“I see Xizor has dumped his latest girlfriend.” He commented.

The corner of my mouth curled up in a smile. “Are you reading the gossip column?”

“No, it made the headlines.” He snorted with distaste. “She is, apparently, devastated.”

“Oh.” I knelt up on the kitchen stool and leaned on the counter to read the flimsy with him.

“Oooh, Lord Vader’s offensive at Vergesso Prime was successful.” I commented, reading the headline ‘Imperials Win Again!’ “Of course you know that he went out here on a tip from the Prince. He’ll be so cross that Xizor was right.”

“Well, I would wait until Lord Vader returns and tells you what really happened before I’d believe what was written here.”

“And maybe he’ll tell me about Harkov as well!” I said. “The Admiral was executed wasn’t he? The reports don’t say much, it’s all very hush hush.”

“A very bad business that.” Thrawn commented with a nod. “Do you recall that young pilot I wrote you about?”

“Stele?” I nodded.

“Well apparently he, along with a couple of others, had a lot to do with helping in that capture. They managed to get Harkov but the fleet he commanded is still out there, presumably acting on Harkov’s behalf, and has also turned rebel.” He said. “Vader deal with Harkov personally, so you know the end result there.”


I just looked at him. “A whole fleet defected? That wasn’t in any of the reports I read. I am surprised that even after three weeks nothing has really been mentioned, it’s even fairly quiet over all the official channels.”

“Of course it is, my dear. It is bad enough that an admiral of the Imperial navy turned traitor but an entire fleet? Well, you can imagine if news of that got out.”

“This rebel thing is getting out of hand.” I said flatly.

Thrawn nodded. “Indeed.” He said. “More ‘caf?” He asked and then went back to reading the morning’s news. Something caught my eye and without thinking I pulled the flimsy to my side of the counter. This earned me a raised eyebrow and an annoyed look.

“Oh my!” I exclaimed.

“What is it?” Asked Thrawn.

“Agaddi ren’Nor is dead.” I said as I quickly read through the short obituary.

“Who is that?”

“He was one of the Emperor’s best horticulturalists; he recently went to work for Prince Xizor. It says here that before he could even start his new job he was found dead. Apparently some freak accident with a lift. There’s an investigation but they don’t suspect foul play. How sad, I kind of liked him.” I handed the flimsy back to Thrawn who skimmed the small text quickly.

Thrawn shook his head and snorted. “No foul play indeed. The Emperor does not like to give up his best people, especially to someone like Prince Xizor.”

“You don’t think it was an accident?”

He just arched an eyebrow at me. “No.” he replied.

“Speaking of accidents, did you hear about the attack on Xizor?”

He shook his head.

“Happened a little while ago now, some moon-brain managed to get past all Palace security and attacked the Prince after he had a meeting there. Wanted revenge, blamed Xizor for the death of his family or some such thing. Now you have to wear your ID tags visible at all times, no exceptions. Security keeps arresting people for no ID tags. It’s very silly.”

“How did this assailant avoid security in the first place?”

I gave Thrawn a look. “How do you think?”

Thrawn shook his head in disgust. “It doesn’t become Vader to play these stupid, bickering games, you know.”

I just shrugged. “I think he just gets bored sometimes.”

That remark earned me a smile. “They mention the public ceremony for the new wing dedication tonight; they expect a lot of people to come.” He said. “Did you get a new dress for the reception afterwards?” He remarked, switching topics deftly.

“I did.” I said with a grin.

“Has Cati performed her usual magic?”

“She has.”

“Do I get to see it?”

“Only if you’re planning on attending.” I told him coyly.

“I’d say that chances are good I will be there.” He replied as he refilled my stimcaf. For a moment our eyes met and that world shattering sensation flashed through me like a seismic charge. I swallowed, bit my lip, blushed and looked away. He smirked.

I sipped my drink. “I told Zaarin I was attending alone when he asked if I would be his date a couple of days ago. He figured that since you were not around I would be easy prey.”

Thrawn’s eyebrow shot up. “Oh?” he said. “I imagine he did not enjoy being told ‘no’ yet again. He’s quite persistent with you, I’ll give him that. Most men would have walked away by now.”

“He’s not persistent, he’s just stupid. Most men would have taken the hint by now.” I scowled. “He’s an arrogant Imperial male who thinks he can have what he wants at the snap of his fingers. ‘Getting me’ has become a personal mission, I think. He won’t win; he’s just too stubborn to figure that out!” I made a face. “I told him I was tired of being gossip fodder by way of an excuse, he said if that were really the case I should probably not be shacking up with you.”

Thrawn had to work hard not to spray the mouthful of stimcaf he had just taken all over the counter. “He actually said that?”

“Yes, he actually said that.” I confirmed.

“I am all ears as to your response, my dear.”

My shrug was nonchalant. “I just smiled at him and told him he shouldn’t believe the all the gossip.”

“Really?” He did that annoying eyebrow thing. “I see some of my lessons on diplomacy are rubbing off on you.”

“More like I can’t be bothered to deal with him, it’s tedious and besides, he tried to kill me. If he wanted me to go out on a date with him he should have thought about that before he tried to poison me and blow you up.” I said crossly. “Smiling at him confuses him.” I added. “One of these days I shall be smiling when I throttle him with my bare hands. Which I could do quite easily, you know!” I made wringing motions with my hands to make my point.

He shook his head in mock despair. “I can see that some of Vader’s tactics have also rubbed off on you.”

“Hardly! I don’t go around force choking everyone who pisses me off.”

He smiled. “No, you shower us unsuspecting males with enough desire to drown an entire battalion.”

Our eyes locked a second time and another seismic charge exploded in my belly. “Neither you nor he can complain if I am being polite.” I said. “Frosty smiles are about as nice as I get these days. I’ve run out of patience and I’m all out of nice. It doesn’t get me anywhere anyway. I could still do him in though.”

“I would much rather you were frosty and polite to him than you took matters into your own hands and eliminated him.” He said with a hint of reproach. “Removing him from the galaxy is not your job and I doubt it would make the Emperor very happy if you were to attempt it.”

“Puh! You don’t let me have any fun!” I told him, taking a scone to munch on. “And the Emperor is….”

“…never happy, I know.” He finished for me. “Speaking of fun, I take it your wish to attend this thing solo means that I cannot ask you to be my date for the event?” He was teasing.

“You can ask, but you’d get the same answer Zaarin did.” I said with a shrug. “In light of self interest and self preservation I think it’s best that I go unattached or shadow Lord Vader if he will be there. He got back to the core a day ago but he’s been pretty busy with meetings with the Emperor so I have not really seen a whole lot of him. You are supposed to be in disgrace. I am supposed to be trying to keep a low profile. Besides, I am getting tired of having my face splashed on the Daily Digest flimsies and the HoloNet entertainment nightly shows just because the gossip mongers have nothing better to write about. ”

He laughed. “So you mean you actually plan behaving at this event?”

I made a face. “I always behave.” I told him crossly. “I can’t help it that trouble finds me.”

I glared at him when his eyebrow shot up. “I seem to recall the last time you attended an official function it ended rather disastrously.” He remarked tartly. “And that particular trouble was self inflicted.”

“You will never let me forget about that, will you?”

“You are very funny when you are inebriated.” He said with a little grin. “I really wonder if it is at all safe to let you loose without a chaperone.”

“You know, just because I don’t feel the need to fuel the fires that already circulate around you, me and our odd little relationship doesn’t mean I won’t behave myself at this stupid event. Last time, as I recall, it was because I got pecked at by the powers that be I ended up going off the deep end. If I hadn’t been drinking I would have hurt someone.” I told him hotly, all the while watching him try very hard not to laugh. “Anyway, you don’t have to worry; Shiv has taken it upon himself to act as the big-brother watch dog this time around. He was pretty ticked at me for getting so drunk at the last event and he blames you. He wasn’t happy about your inability to keep an eye on me. I told him it was hardly your fault, after all, it’s not as if anyone actually instructed you to baby-sit me, you didn’t force feed me the bubbly and I could have and should have just gone home. Ugh, I don’t want to even think about fizzy champagne let alone drink any.” I shuddered.

Thrawn laughed and caressed the side of my face with a brush of his fingers. “Why is Shiv even complaining? He wasn’t the one picking up the pieces the day after, I was.”

I sighed. “I can move back to the palace, you know!”

He just continued to smile. “That is an empty threat, you like my bed too much and I like having you in it.” He said. “But if you must have an answer to the unasked question behind that statement, I think I’d prefer you stay here where I can keep an eye on you.” He punctuated this statement with a light kiss on the top of my head.

I didn’t know how to reply to that so I just nodded and sipped my drink. The silence between us was so utterly comfortable that I didn’t want to break it.

“I noticed your speeder isn’t here. Do you want a ride to work?” He asked after he had finished reading and drained his cup.

“Sure.”

“Then I suggest you get yourself ready, my dear, I have to leave soon. I have meetings all day and I probably should not be late.”

It occurred to me, while I showered, that this must be what having a normal life felt like, that billions of beings all around the galaxy lived this way, every single day. It was magical. As I dressed for work, I felt a touch of regret that it couldn’t stay this way forever.

In the City that never sleeps 6

I loved B’schu’le’s and so it seemed did the rest of Coruscant. The restaurant was very crowded when we walked in and I was thankful that Shiv had thought ahead to reserve us a table.

I ordered a big salad and a noodle dish. When he ordered wine with the meal I knew we weren’t going back to work afterwards which was okay by me. Now I understood why we had taken a taxi to Cati’s instead of his air-speeder.

“Are you going to talk about what’s been bothering you?” he asked as I stabbed my fork through leafy salad.

I glanced up at him, “I told you the last time you asked. I don’t sleep very well.”

He looked at me for a moment. “The palace doc could fix you up with something that would help with that.”

“I’m not going to start taking sleeping aides, it will pass. It’s just bad dreams and I get them sometimes.”

“See, I’d normally believe you but you’ve had this scary death warmed over thing going ever since you got back after Hoth and it reminds me a lot of how you looked after Jyrki, well you know… kidnapped you.”

I made a face. “I had bad dreams then too.” I said with a mouthful of salad. “It will pass; you need to trust me on that.”

For a moment I saw him hesitate, the decision of whether or not to push me wavered across his face. He was worried. “It’s not like you to lie to me.” He said a bit sadly. He had decided to push.

“I’m not lying. I don’t sleep well, I wake up with really terrible nightmares most of which I don’t remember and I can’t get back to sleep afterwards. It’s not like I have the luxury of being able to nap in the afternoon, you know.” I frowned. “Do you really want the absolute truth?”

He nodded.

“I hate sleeping alone when I am on this planet.”

That made him smile and for the first time all afternoon he actually seemed to relax. “I knew there had to be another reason.” He grinned. “You’re pining for the man you love.”

I sighed. “See, this is exactly why I don’t tell you things!” I said crossly, mutilating the last bits of defenceless salad on my plate so loudly that people sitting one table over looked at me. I glared right back at them and they returned their attention to their own plates so fast I thought they might get whiplash. “I am not pining!”

He just shrugged. “Whatever.” He leaned over to reach the shopping bag; a glossy red dura-paper thing with little string handles and shoved it over to me. “I thought that you might want some company in bed, seeing as how you get lonely….” He let his sentence trail off with a knowing wink.

I sighed and shook my head. “Honestly Shiv, you’re as bad as the gossip girls from HR.”

The waitress came and cleared away our empty salad plates and replaced them with the main course. Shiv had some sort of thinly sliced reddish meat, rizzoles, and vegetables all drizzled with a creamy looking sauce. It smelled wonderful. My pasta was covered with a chunky sauce made from a red fruit and was heavily spiced, just the way I liked it. While the waitress hovered around us, refilling our glasses and smiling, I held my tongue. As soon as she left I pulled the bag to me and peeked inside. Underneath a layer of delicate tissue was the largest stuffed toy bantha I had ever seen. Despite the fact that we were sitting in a good restaurant I hauled him out of the bag with a squeal of delight. He was perfect, with soft, long shaggy fur and horns made from some sort of roughed up leather. The detailing on him was astonishing, even his glittery eyes seemed real.

“I am way too old for cuddle toys Shiv, but he’s gorgeous…where did you find a bantha toy on this planet?” I said as I slipped him back in the bag and grinned.

Shiv beamed. “We special ordered him from Ji-Ji’s, really he’s for your birthday, I mean, birthdays. He’s from me , Ynyth, Bobbyn, Maxxi and Cati and I wasn’t supposed to give him to you until your other birthday but goodness knows if you’ll be here for that and I figured you could use the company at night. I got the call this morning that he was done, so it seemed like the right time all around.”

I shook my head. I didn’t know what to say. I had never really talked to Shiv about my love affair with Banthas yet somehow he had known. My guess was that maybe Thrawn had given something of that away but I was pretty sure no one would admit to anything.

“Eat your lunch before it gets cold.” He waved his fork at me. “I have to tell Cati that I saw you finish a meal with my own two eyes.”

I did as he asked, not because I had to but because I really was, for the first time in ages, very hungry. Like most things, my bouts of anxiety and sleeplessness came and went. The regular routine of being back on a planet again helped a lot. That Lord Vader was more often away than on Coruscant helped even more. The best of all was that the Emperor had not been around much either. Slowly the nightmare I had lived through on Wayland was receding, relegated to the same strange part of my life that Jyrki’s treatment had been and I tried not to think about the moral implications of working for the Empire. My on going training sessions with Master Kjestyll were helping to re-ground me and for a while I could forget about the Force and all of its sides, light dark and in between.

“What are you doing after this?” I asked him.

“I am coming back to your place and we are going to watch some of the latest season of Smuggler’s Run, which I happen to know you just picked up and then I am going home and you will get a decent night’s sleep.” He said, “Unless you have a lesson or something?”

I shook my head. “Nope no lessons tonight, so we’ll go with your plan.” I agreed and went back to finishing my pasta. By the time we had done with the main meal we decided to get desert to go because while B’schu’le’s made the best cakes in the galaxy, their ‘caf was awful.

Smuggler’s Run was a brilliant drama about a band of rag-tag nobodies, in a galaxy very far away but amazingly similar to ours. It was a funny, campy show with a great cast of characters. The brilliant but broken captain who is trying to get away from his past, the crazy alien mechanic who could fix anything, twin brothers who were mercenaries and finished each other sentences, the weapons expert who just happens to be a hot chick and the stowaway kid, who everyone except the mechanic thought was a guy but who was really a girl. They lived by their wits on their ship which loosely resembled an old Corellian tub and was always falling apart. They usually ended up helping people instead of actually doing anything terribly illegal. It was hilarious but also sometimes sad and touching.

We ate our delicious deserts, sipped excellent spiced coffee and then topped it all off with a glass of Thrawn’s thirty year old Corellian brandy. I was stuffed and my sides hurt from laughing so much.

Once we had eaten I had hauled the large bantha toy out of the bag and slouching on the couch with my feet on the coffee table I had it balanced on my lap, face to face. He was the cutest thing I ever saw next to a real bantha baby. He had been made to perfection and I had fallen in love with him.

Shiv poked me in the ribs. “How can you see the screen?” He asked.

“I see fine over his head!”

“His?”

I looked up at Shiv and nodded. “Yeah, he’s a he.”

“How can you tell?”

“The shape and thickness of the horns.” I said tracing my finger around the loop of the sueded leather. “Females horns never grow to more than one circle and the ridges aren’t as pronounced. I love banthas.”

Shiv grinned. “I know.”

“Who told you that, because I’m sure it wasn’t me?”

“I am sworn to secrecy.” He said. I opened my mouth to say more but he waggled a finger at me. “Shut up, not another word, just watch the show!”

I smirked at settled back down, cuddling the huge stuffed toy, watching the ‘net with one of my very best friends.

“What are you going to call him?” Shiv asked after five minutes of silence.

“I’ll have to think about it. Naming a bantha is a big deal.”

“Will you tell me what you name him then?”

“I promise, now will you shut up?”

He laughed and grabbed the remote to backtrack so we could catch up on what we missed.

It was late when he left and despite his advice of letting the dishes sit until the morning I just couldn’t. Thrawn did not like clutter and chaos in the house and some of that had rubbed off on me, besides I couldn’t stand the sight of dirty dishes when I first got up and ever worse was a messy kitchen, I was never awake enough to deal with that first thing. Once everything was tidy I took my bantha toy and went to bed. I hadn’t slept with a stuffed cuddle toy in bed since I was a very small child. I sighed when I slipped under the beautiful linen sheets, wearing one of Thrawn’s pyjama tops and wrapped my arm around the bantha to snuggle it. A small piece of furry comfort in the darkness the night had become. Unfortunately its presence didn’t stop the nightmares but it was something to grip on to when I felt as though I were drowning.

The nightmares had become indefinable night terrors involving faceless attackers and endless chases through never ending labyrinths which usually ended up with me falling into the molten lava on the planet the Emperor had called Mustafar. It was not a particularly great way to wake up. Going back to sleep after such a nightmare was usually impossible so I would get up, make myself tea and use the portable computer terminal to get some work done. This way I could sit in the living room and have the HoloNet on in the background. While I was wading through the latest barrage of inter-office mail the late night programme that was currently on was interrupted.

The news anchor was shaken as he read out the latest report of fighting between the Empire and the Rebels. While these kinds of reports were not really new the disclosure that someone from the Imperial side had defected to the rebels was. The news programme did not have a name and details were sketchy at best which was typical.

With my portable computer terminal, I quickly logged into the palace network and began to scan through the internal imperial bulletin boards that I had access to via Lord Vader. The traitor was Admiral Harkov. It shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did and I could not help wondering how many more so called loyal Imperials were not exactly as they seemed.

In the City that never sleeps 5

I got word that Thrawn had been sent to the Pakunni sector, aboard the victory class star destroyer Stalwart and was currently engaged in setting up a base there as well as fighting off pirates. His latest letter had described the attacks and his impressions about the mission in general with his usual flair but underneath his eloquence I got the feeling that he was a little bored and that policing the area against pirates was not particularly challenging. The one thing that had been of interest to him, had been a pilot named Stele.

…He’s quite clever, more so than the average Imperial pilot that the Academy spits out these days. While on escort duty he actually used his TIE bomber to defensively beat back an attack. Most impressive when one considers that TIE bombers were never designed with defensive manoeuvres in mind. I found it refreshing to see a young pilot think outside of the box when it comes to combat tactics. He will be reassigned to your favourite Grand Admiral, Zaarin’s command shortly, as I feel he will not get the notice he deserves serving under me. In the meantime we continue to deal with the pirates in this system and serve the Empire as best we can.

You asked if I had heard anything further concerning the rumours about Admiral Harkov and while I have, I am not at liberty to discuss this. You will, I am quite certain, learn what you wish to know soon enough. You are one of the most resourceful people I have ever met when it comes to securing information of any sort, when it piques your interest. …

The rest of his letter had gone on to discuss a set of books I had been reading as well as more personal things which had made me smile. He was one of the few constant and consistently good things in my life. Grand Admiral Zaarin, on the other hand, was not especially when he barged into my office demanding information I was not prepared to give him.

“He’s away.” I said tersely.

Zaarin looked at me crossly. “Away? where?” It was a stupid question because he had high enough clearance he could have found this information out for himself.

I shrugged with one shoulder which irritated him even more. “If you want to speak with him you need to do so via the secure HoloNet.”

“I thought getting in contact with him was your job?”

“No sir, that would be his secretary droid’s job.” I said trying to keep my annoyance out of my voice. “I am not his secretary. I am not one of his aide de camps. I am his personal assistant.”

“What is the difference?” Zaarin asked leaning over my desk.

“I don’t make comm calls to my boss when he’s out in the middle of space on a military engagement.” I told him, it was sort of a lie but I wasn’t playing secretary for Zaarin. “His secretary droid is in the next room.”

He stood up and tugged at his jacket. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt you to be a bit more polite to me.” He said.

I raised an eyebrow. “I am being polite, Grand Admiral Zaarin.”

Instead of making a scene or getting annoyed he simply smiled. That kind of smile I was used to from Imperial men that said Oh I see, you’re playing hard to get. He stared at me for a moment then said. “I wonder, Miss Gabriel if you would accompany me to the dedication ceremony for the new wing.”

That surprised me. I hesitated just a fraction of a second too long before I said, “No. But thank you for asking.”

This surprised him. “May I ask why? Admiral Thrawn is not in town so you should be free to accompany anyone you wish.”

I arched the other eyebrow because I knew that annoyed people. “I prefer to go alone. I have been the subject of the Daily Digest gossip column enough thanks.”

He stared at me for a moment and then nodded. “Perhaps that is to be expected when you shack up with the Emperor’s pet alien, or is this just another rumour?” He smiled as he said this but his eyes remained stone hard.

I just looked at him, not rising to the bait. “One should not believe all one hears on the gossip nets, Admiral.”

His expression didn’t change. “Well, Miss Gabriel, I hope to see you there. Perhaps you will share a drink with me.”

I smiled coolly. “Perhaps.”

He didn’t react, he just left. He didn’t need to ask me to contact Vader for him; he was quite capable of doing that himself. He just came in to bait and bother me. We both knew it but since this was how Imperials played games there wasn’t much I could do about it. I was glad when the door to my office closed. I sighed and patched a short note through to Lord Vader that Zaarin was looking for him. The last I had heard he was off on a wild bantha chase somewhere out near the Lybeya system. I knew he would not answer any call I put through to him so I just sent a text message.

Grand Admiral Zaarin had been seen around the palace on and off, despite the fact that official reports placed him permanently placed in the Vilonis Sector doing research on new versions of TIEs. I assumed that he was back for briefings and planning sessions that had to do with the second space station the Emperor was having built and other military issues I was not in the least bit interested in. I had seen more than one White uniform running around so his presence was of little surprise. I supposed that the Emperor would also want an update on the projects Zaarin had been working on, after all his funding was worth millions of credits. He had spoken to me about his research some time ago at one of the Grand balls but since then I had not heard any more about the development of these designs.

I had to fight to keep my loathing of the man from surfacing every time he was near me. He had tried to kill me in order to disgrace Thrawn and when that had failed he had tried to get rid of Thrawn by means of a cloaked ship which had attacked the shuttle we were on en route to rendezvous with the Avenger, neither tactic had worked and I wondered what he would do for the third encore. If Zaarin had any inkling that I knew what he had done, he never gave it away, I suspected he didn’t. Like so many men who worked for the Empire he made the standard mistake of assuming I was not terribly smart or perhaps it was just that he felt he was smarter. Either way, I wasn’t about to try and educate him on the error of his ways. With a sigh I went back to reading the mail.


TO: Office of Lord Darth Vader
FROM: Human Resources and Development Department
RE: Notice of Employment Termination

Pleased be advised that effective immediately Agaddi ren’Nor, palace horticulturalist, will no longer be working for the Imperial Palace Botanical Gardens. Please join us in wishing Mr. ren’Nor all the best in his new position with Prince Xizor.

Yvett Tourne,
Assistant Manager
Human Resources Development Department

That raised my eyebrows. I had met Agaddi ren’Nor a couple of times and had chatted to him while he had been working in the gardens. He was very good at his job and it surprised me that he would accept a position with the Prince. I guessed that the offer Agaddi had been given must have been worth it. I would miss seeing him around; he was a quiet man with a gentle nature. The Imperial palace did not generall have a quick turn over in jobs, unless one worked under Lord vader. Most people tended to keep the jobs they had. I was never sure exactly why that was but I suspected it was partly out of fear and partly because working for the Empire had a great benefits package.

TO: Miss Merlyn Ty’Erijann Gabriel
FROM: The Imperial Palace Social Department
RE: Dedication Ceremony for New Palace Wing

Miss Gabriel, Please find enclosed your personal invitation to attend the Dedication Ceremony for the New Assemblage Wing of the palace. This invitation is for the closed reception which will follow the public dedication and will be held in the Tarkin Conference Room.

Please note that the reception is formal dress and / or dress uniform with no exceptions. There will be no admittance without the invitation. Should you wish to bring a guest you must register his or her name and pertinent details with the Palace Events Coordination team twenty-four hours prior to attendance.

The reception will be catered by Ta’lucci and Frolla, there will be an open bar. Music provided by the Imperial City String Quartet. The reception begins at 21:00 hrs and ends at 00:00 hrs CST.

Marlann Taralae
Palace Events Coordinator

I looked at the invitation that had been tucked inside the form letter that had arrived on my desk along with a dozen other memos and letters. I set both my invitation and the one for Lord Vader to one side. I had reminded him about the dedication ceremony but I wasn’t sure if he would be back in time for it. I confirmed my dress fitting appointment with Cati and then set about dealing with the daily barrage of nonsense that never seemed to end. I was fairly certain that if Lord Vader had to deal with and answer all the mail he received himself there would be a lot less bureaucrats in the Empire. I was in the middle of replying to the last memo when Shiv poked his nose in my office.

“Lunch?” he asked.

“Only if it’s very quick, I have a dress fitting in half an hour, or can we do lunch afterwards?”

“Sure that works for me, I need to find a new suit for this dedication reception. Are you heading to Cati’s? I take it you got your invite? Share a taxi?”

I nodded to all of his questions. “Yep. Formal dress required means I need to show up in a dress I haven’t worn before.”

He grinned. “Don’t make that face Rim-Girl, you love being a fashion plate.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t but I do like Cati’s dresses.” I slung my satchel across my shoulder and followed Shiv out of the office locking the door behind me.

While Shiv was searching for a decent suit to wear I was standing on the platform which I had dubbed Cati’s alter of pain while the Rodian seamstress pinned the final adjustments to the dress she had designed for me.

“So, will your gentleman be there?” she asked casually as she took the delicate fabric in at the waist.

“I hope so but I don’t know.” I told her. “It’s just a reception for the new wing dedication but you know the Empire, all fuss and fanfare.”

Cati managed a shrug. “I don’t complain, Miss Gabriel, it keeps me in business.” She let out a little sigh. “You need to stop losing weight. This is the third time I have had to take this dress in for you. I’ll never get it finished in time if you keep that up. Have you been ill or something?”

I looked at her and the dress she was taking in. “No, not really.”

The look she gave me said ‘Uh huh. I don’t believe a word of it.’

“I don’t sleep well because I have constant bad dreams and I have no appetite to speak of.” I told her tartly, anything to get her to stop looking at me in that manner.

“Well, you might want to stop that particular bad habit, this dress is for showing off curves not bones.” She chided. “Your gentleman will not like to come home to find you withering away. The skinny waif look is very passé.” She said.

“Well don’t pin too tight then, I’m going to B’schu’le’s for lunch with Shiv. I plan on eating lots because I’m famished. I didn’t think I had lost that much weight.”

“Enough it shows, you are not at the wasting away stage yet. Are you having your hair done at Bam’s for the event?”

“Hadn’t planned on it, I have an appointment for a wash and trim tomorrow though. I made the appointment ages ago.”

She nodded and stepped back to take a look at her work. “Smart, he’s booked solid.” She said. “So, what do you think?”

I turned around and looked at my reflection in the mirror. She was right, I looked as though I had been ill but mostly this was a product of sleepless nights. The dress she had created was lovely. She had found the perfect shade of pink that matched my skin tone and hair colour. The fabric was soft and supple, and clung to what it touched. In difference to most of the dresses she had designed for me in the past, this one had a back and a pretty, not too indecent, sweetheart neckline. It also had both slender shoulder straps and flowing off the shoulder sleeves. It was very pretty.

“You should wear Corellian Sweetheart rose buds in your hair, the colour would go perfectly wit this dress.” Cati said casually and she took in her handy work.

I glanced at her and nodded. I had long since given up arguing with her in the area of accessories. I had come a long way from tying my hair back with bits of routing wire. I was about to step off the fitting platform when Shiv came in.

“Wow.” He said, setting down his new suit which was all carefully wrapped up in a garment bag and another huge shopping bag whose contents I couldn’t see.

Cati grinned. “Show him the shoes.”

I did as I was asked and lifted the dress so he could see the matching shoes.

Shiv grinned, “Oh the little bows on the open toes are very cute.” He teased.

I made a face at him. I felt a little like a prized eopie at an auction.

“Okay, that’s it, get out of the dress so I can finish it off and get it sent over to you. Don’t lose any more weight between now and the event!” Cati scolded. “Because if I have to re pin this dress one more time, I shall hurt you.”

I nodded, and went to get out of the dress and back into clothes than made sense. While a part of me loved the elegance of the Empire, it was just so unreal. I much preferred my standard Tatooine chic.

While I was changing I heard Shiv ask if she wanted to join us for lunch but true to Cati form she refused politely stating a busy fitting schedule. She had made time for me and I was grateful, while Thrawn wasn’t back yet I knew he would be and I wanted the dress to look perfect. I hadn’t told her this but she had figured that out anyway. I was a bit sad that she would not come with us because on the few rare occasions when she had joined us it had been a lot of fun. Their conversation had ended with Cati telling Shiv in not so uncertain terms ‘For goodness sakes Shiv, feed that girl before she fades away to nothing!’ I walked out of the changing room pretending I hadn’t heard a thing.

With a brief hug and the traditional kiss-kiss both Shiv and I said our goodbyes and headed off to B’schu’le’s.

In the City that never sleeps 4

I was grateful that things around the Palace were mostly quiet. With Thrawn away and Lord Vader in and out, I was left to my own devices which meant I could actually work to a decent schedule. I was glad of this because of meant I could return to training with Master Kjestyll on a more or less regular basis. However not all my lessons with him went as well as I liked. In difference to what he usually did when I was wound up and unmanageable, this time he surprised me. Instead of trying to bend me to change, he changed the environment.

The wind whispered through the trees, rustling the leaves gently. The constant hum of the Coruscanti traffic had faded into the background. The air was sweet here, filled with the scent of the flowers which bloomed in the well groomed beds and the grass which was perfectly manicured. This was a small pocket of calm in a city which never stopped moving, never slept and never knew peace.

I was both exhausted and exhilarated at the same time, something that came with hours of exercise and concentration. It was a state I was rarely able to reach but when I did, I knew a sort of peace which, these days, was hard to come by. I sat cross legged with my eyes closed, breathing in and out as though there was nothing else in the universe that mattered. Seated across from me was Master Kjestyll. For the first time in a long time I felt a sense of satisfaction radiate from him.

Dragging me out of the training room we usually used to this small private garden well away from the palace had been an idea I was opposed to but in the end, as usual, he had been right.
He had known the moment he had seen me, for the first time since I returned to the core, that something was terribly wrong. He was not a man who pried, as a rule. He had been hired to train me in the Bunduki arts not act as a counsellor but sometimes a teacher had to be both, especially when the weight I carried around on my shoulders interfered with what he was trying to teach me.

“The burden of your fears constricts the ease of your movements.” He had said without reproach or annoyance when I could not seem to perform the particular move he had asked me to. This was an old issue, one that I could not seem to overcome and it frustrated me. The more frustrated I had gotten the less I was able to do as he instructed.

His words had provoked an immediate and unwanted flash of both anger and sorrow. I had had to turn away from him then because I had wanted to lash out and cry all at the same time. He had considered this for a moment then without explanation or further discussion he had told me to follow him. I had done so without question.

He had led me out of the palace, along the common walk ways until, after well over an hour I found myself in a part of the city I had never been to before standing before a wall with a locked door. He had unlocked the door and ushered me inside. I was surprised at what I saw. It was a garden of extraordinary beauty. The moment I entered and the door closed behind us, it was as if the rest of the galaxy no longer existed. I sighed, letting go of a breath I was not even aware that I had been holding and Master Kjestyll had smiled.

He had not spoken a word but I knew by the look on his face and his body language that now the real work would start. Warmed up from the brisk walk to this place we began to train, to spar without words. For the first time in a long time I felt uncluttered and free. Hours passed like moments. When he felt that I had done enough we went through the process of stretching to cool my body down and then he had insisted I close my eyes and find my center. I did as he asked and time slipped by like a whisper. With a deep, deep breath I ended the meditation and opened my eyes. I found myself staring into the eyes of my Bunduki Master. He had been watching me the entire time.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“Light headed.” I told him honestly, “As though the world suddenly got brighter, easier to carry.”

He smiled. “You trained well today.” He nodded.

Compliments from him were rare. “Thank you, Master.”

“Now, perhaps in this place away from prying eyes and hidden ears you will tell me of what it is that troubles you.”

In difference to how I usually reacted when someone asked me this question, I didn’t make a face. Instead I considered my words carefully. It was not that I didn’t want to tell Master Kjestyll what was eating me up from the inside out, it was more about finding the right way to do it. He was patient and he waited.

As I sat, bathed in the warmth of the sun’s light, caressed by the soft breezes which made the leaves in on the trees shiver, I searched for the right words. In the end I began my explanation by telling him about what had happened at Wayland. I didn’t need to go into details; I suspected he knew far more about such things than most people could ever imagine, I just told him what had occurred. I told him about the nightmares that had plagued me since and about the nagging sense of wrongness I had been feeling recently with everything that had to do with the Emperor and all that he touched. Master Kjestyll listened without interruption or comment.

“Do you sympathise with the people who fight against the Empire?” he asked after a very long silence. It was not the question I had expected from him.

I shook my head. “No.” my answer was honest and immediate. “I understand why they fight but I don’t think they are right.”

“Why?” He asked.

“These conflicts are cyclical.” I replied. He cocked his head to one side in question; he had not expected this answer. I continued. “I have been reading about the wars the galaxy has gone through in the past. It seems to me that there is always someone at some point who decides the government needs to change. One side dictates the rules and another side decides they don’t like it. The galaxy is in constant turmoil, it is only the size of these battles that really changes. Sometimes it’s on a planetary scale and sometimes it’s on a galactic scale but it’s always happening.” I said. “At any given time in the galaxy someone is in some sort of conflict.”

“This is true, but do you not feel you should take a side?”

I shook my head. “If I had remained on Tatooine I would not be an active part of this conflict currently happening. It would have been words on a news cast, something happening some place else. It’s only because I work so closely within the government that I know so much about what is going on. Are we all really so oppressed by the Empire? Is it really that terrible? I don’t see a difference between how the Hutts run things and how the Empire runs things. What happens if these rebels win? What will they replace the current government with? How do I know that won’t be worse?” I drew a deep breath. “From everything I have ever read it always seems to me that when there is a revolution to overthrow a government that is unpopular whatever replaces it eventually makes the same mistakes. It goes around in a huge circle.”

My master watched me carefully, his steel grey eyes thoughtful and a little surprised. “That is a cynical answer for someone whose spirit is not usually so dark.”

I shrugged. “It is what it is.” I told him flatly wondering what he knew about my spirit.

He regarded me for a moment then asked. “So what is it that you are afraid of?”

There was a moment’s pause then unbidden and without thinking I blurted out, “I am scared of being swallowed up by the darkness all around me.” I was surprised by this, he was not. This was the answer he had wanted but woudl not have gotten had this been his first question.

“This is the weight you carry around with you.” He said gently. “This fear clouds your judgement and your ability to move. You know what it is you fear, but do you know why?”

I shrugged and shook my head. “I can think of many reasons, all of them valid but none of them strong enough to be the answer that makes perfect sense.”

“You look for perfection in an imperfect galaxy. No such thing exists.” He chided.

“Then what do I do?” I asked, for the first time understanding I was lost.

“Let go of your fear.” He said.

“That is easier said than done.”

“Yes, it is.” He nodded.

I studied my nails for a moment, avoiding his steady gaze. I sighed. “I feel as though I am at war with myself. It feels like I imagine having brain parasites or some similar infection must feel.” I said finally. “It’s an itch in my head I can’t seem to scratch, a buzzing. It just feels wrong. Like a ship’s engine with something out of synch.” I paused. “I feel as though I am being pushed down a path I am not sure I want to take.”

He nodded. “That is a perceptive description of the Dark side of the Force.” He said thoughtfully.

“How do you know about the dark side of the Force?” I asked.

“When you have lived for as long as I have you tend to learn a thing or two about many topics and many systems of belief.”

“Are you a force user?” I dared to ask him.

His smile was slow. “Do you sense the force in me, Ke’ashj Merlyn?”

I drew a deep breath and dropped all my guards. I opened my self up to him, to the living world around me. I could feel the ebb and flow of the garden, I could sense the city that lay beyond the walls vaguely, as though the high duracrete walls kept most of that white noise at bay but of Master Kjestyll there was no sense at all. In the force he was just a shadow. This was unusual. Even beings who were head blind, like Thrawn, shone in the force like a beacon to me. The more I pushed to find master Kjestyll in the swirling dance that was the Force of all things, the more vague his image became. If I kept this up I would give myself a headache. I withdrew.

“No, not the way I would if you could use it, I’ve met other force sensitives. They leave a ripple. You don’t.” I said. “But my talent isn’t very strong.” I added.

He regarded me for a moment. “Perhaps not, but you are.”

I shivered a little as a cloud passed across the sky, blocking the sun’s warmth for a moment. I looked at him, waiting for him to clarify. He folded his hands together, resting in his lap, a motion I found disarmingly delicate.

“I have trained many at the palace during my time under Palpatine’s rule, seen many students, some of which were touched by the force and many more who were not. It is not often that a student comes to me as old as you were when I first began your training. Usually when this is the case, that person’s will had already been bent in a certain direction. You were not like that. Despite the directions that certain people wish to pull you in, you resist. You are strong, which is why, in spite of the fact that you are difficult to teach, I continue to do so.”

I looked at him for a while. Trying to figure out what it was he was trying to tell me without actually saying anything. He held my gaze until I dropped my eyes to study my hands.

“Child, look at me.” His voice was quiet, reminding me of my uncle’s. I did as he asked. He smiled a little. “The palace is full of negative energy, that you cannot settle there never surprises me.” He said.

“Why do you teach me?” I asked suddenly.

“Because I was asked to do so.” He answered. It was not a lie, but it was not the whole truth either.

“Why did you bring me here?” I glanced, indicating the garden we sat in.

He smiled. “So you might know peace.”

I just stared at him for a moment, weighing the merits of further questions. His expression never changed. There was something about him, about his manner that told me he was more than just one of the Emperor’s Bunduki masters. This had always been the case but up until now I had ignored it because he worked for the Emperor and the Emperor always had an agenda no matter what. I assumed this agenda continued on with the people who worked under him, but now, in this garden I was not so sure this was the case.

I sighed and looked up into his grey eyes. “You are not what you seem to be, are you?”

His unblinking stare never wavered as he answered. “None of us are.”

It was the only answer he could have given but all of a sudden it stirred up more curiosity than it had quelled. I opened my mouth to ask something but he waved at me with one hand.

“No more questions today.” He said firmly. “Clear your mind. In this place the stillness you seek to become is easier to find. Take advantage of this.”

I nodded and closed my eyes. Despite the fact there was only one sun, its light warmed my skin. I leaned back against the tree behind me and listened to the wind. I wasn’t sure if I would ever be shown this place again and I wasn’t ready to leave its quiet just yet.

Slipping back into that meditative state was easier than usual. Finding that quiet centered space where everything and nothing seemed to meet and become one was a little like coming home. It was a comforting and familiar greyness that held neither promise nor threat; it simply was so when the vision began, at first, I was very confused.

I opened my eyes but instead of seeing my master I saw vast forest that went on for kilometres. I had no idea where I was or, for that matter, when. I looked around but I was alone except for the lambda class shuttle that sat on the plateau a short way from where I stood. Off in the distance I could see smoke and I could hear the faint sounds of blaster fire. I shivered with a deep sense of inexplicable sorrow, there were tears streaming down my cheeks. I had not bothered to wipe them away. I looked up just in time to see something massive burst apart with such force that I expected I, too, would be wiped out by the shock wave that must surely follow but no such thing happened. I watched as billions of tiny fragments, meteors burned up in the atmosphere. A wind rippled through the forests and I thought I heard it whisper my name. I turned around as a shiver crossed my spine. Behind me shimmered a ghost like figure, a young man with long shaggy hair and a scar across his right eye. His face was familiar to me but I couldn’t quite place it.

“You should go now.” The ghostly figure said.

A blaster shot, much closer than before broke the moment and I turned to see where it had come from, when I turned back the ghost was gone. The sense of loss was overwhelming and I had no idea where to go or what to do next. As I stood on the precipice hesitating, one word echoed in the air…’Go!’

The touch of a hand, warm and strong upon my own brought me back to the here and now. This time when I opened my eyes I found myself looking into Master Kjestyll’s. He was concerned. The disorientation I felt was disarming. It took me a few seconds to realise that there was no forest, no explosion and no ghost. There was just me and him in a garden somewhere on Coruscant. It did nothing to explain my tears.

“What did you see?” he asked.

I told him. It did not occur to me to question how he even knew I had seen something, anything.

“I have known Jedi who were able to see backwards and forwards through time.” He said. “A powerful skill but not one I ever envied. The force sometimes sends its users visions of the past, of the future.” He commented. “A Jedi master I once knew told me that time is always fluid and in motion. Visions are fleeting glimpses of what may be, and what has passed.”

I struggled to shake off the terrible sense of sadness which lingered. “I don’t know what this was, the future, the past, I have no idea.” I told him. “I get dreams all the time but visions like this are rare. Why do they happen? What does it all mean?”

He shrugged ever so slightly. “For the answer to that you would have to consult a Jedi master or perhaps a Sith master.” He replied. “But perhaps they are sent as warnings or as guides.”

“I thought all of the Jedi were killed. How would I be able to ask them if they are all dead?” I asked more crossly than I had intended. I didn’t relish the thought of discussing my dreams and visions with Lord Vader or the Emperor.

Master Kjestyll regarded me for a moment. “Of course, you are right.” He said in that manner which told me I had missed the point, as usual.

I was suddenly very tired and it was getting late. I had not noticed the passage of time or the fact that the sun was now low in the sky, the bright yellow if its light turned to dusk orange. Master Kjestyll stood up and I did the same, taking once last long glance around at the beauty of the garden before reluctantly following him out of its sanctuary. I was startled by the noise of the city which had seemed so faint behind the garden’s walls and the sorrow I had felt in my vision returned. As he locked the door to the garden it occurred to me to wonder why no one seemed to notice this place. A small walled off square in a less busy area of a city that just never stopped. I knew we were not on ground level; there had been too much sunlight for that, so it must have been on top of some flat roofed building which had been somehow covered and layered into the ever changing landscape of Coruscant.

“Will I ever get to come here again?” I asked quietly as he began the walk back to the palace.

“Perhaps.” Was all the answer I got. I was content that it hadn’t been a ‘no’. The rest of the walk was silent.

At the foot of the stars which led to the small entrance near the North side of the Palace, Master Kjestyll bid me good evening.

“We will continue our lessons the day after tomorrow in your training room. I have asked another student to come and spar with you; I believe you know Makki Iekki.”

I nodded. I could not hide my delight. Despite the fact he had told me I would be able to train with other students it was something that happened rarely. I had met Makki at the Bunduki trials and we had become friends after a fashion. I was happy to get to see him again.

“Then, Ke’ashj Merlyn, I wish you a pleasant night without any more disturbing dreams.” And before I could reply or bow in respect he had turned around and disappeared into the oncoming night.

In the City that never sleeps 3

I was at my desk reading through memos when Jarack knocked on the door. It was late afternoon and he looked tired.

“Miss Gabriel, I feel I must apologise I should have been here at least a week ago but things got a little … interesting.” He said by way of explanation before I could even open my mouth.

“Oh?”

He just gave me a weary grin.

“Rough trip?” I asked, getting up.

“I’ve had worse.” He told me.

“When was the last time you ate?” I asked looking at his pale face, which was gaunt and drawn.

He smiled but it never reached his eyes. “Do ration packs count as real food?”

I shook my head. “I can order you some really decent Zabraki food, I know a good place.”

“Ugh, no thanks, I hate Zabraki cuisine, no offence, but it’s too spicy, gives me heartburn.” He grinned. “I’ll take a cup of that Tatooine coffee of yours though, if you have some handy.”

“For the man who delivers my letters, I can make mek’kefa. How about a sandwich instead, I have pelekki-fish or hadhiki salad? My droid feels that choice is important.” I gestured to the small refrigeration unit under the counter.

“pelekki fish, man I haven’t had that in ages, is it fresh?” He said as he shucked his jacket and sat down wearily on the couch.

“I hope so; they were made for my lunch so yeah, fresh.”

“Your lunch? So why didn’t you eat them then?”

“Because I had a really late breakfast, I’m still not that hungry.”

“Alright for some, I guess.” He grinned. I was lying, I hadn’t eaten anything, I just wasn’t all that hungry these days, especially in the mornings. Lately the only thing I could face without feeling ill was stimcaf, of which I probably drank too much. When I did eat during the day it was usually later rather than earlier. I’d probably end up taking whatever sandwich was left over home with me.

He let out a huge breath and sat back against the couch, rummaged around his satchel and placed a large courier package on the coffee table, nodding at it. “The Admiral sends apologies for the delay in replying.”

“I take it things have been … busy?” I asked, making spiced coffee and unwrapping a sandwich for him.

“That’s one way of putting it.” He said rubbing his eyes and yawning.

“Is everything alright out there?”

He drew a deep breath. “Yes, it’s just intense. Not everyone is pleased to see an Imperial presence in the regions of space beyond the Outer Rim. It’s been a relatively stressful time.” He said. “The last two systems we visited were less than appreciative of our presence.”

“So what you are telling me in your round about way is that you guys have been having fun?”

He smiled and nodded. “Yes.” He said, “Although the Admiral would not be particularly pleased if I were to go into details.”

“Is he okay?” I hated myself for asking this question but I needed to hear the answer.

Jarack smiled and this time it made it to his eyes. “He’s more than okay. He seems to thrive on these sorts of engagements and problems that we have been having but of course it does mean that he’s very busy. ”

I felt the weight I had been carrying around with me lift. “Well, busy keeps him out of trouble I guess.” I said trying to joke. “I’m glad to hear everyone is okay.”

“I guess that depends on your definition of trouble.” He grinned taking the glass of spiced coffee and plate with the sandwich I offered gratefully. “The Admiral enjoys the challenges presented to him.” He said.

While he ate and drank I gathered the three letters I had written and put them on the table beside the package waiting for me to open, something I would do when I got home. “But apart from that?”

“Apart from that, things are pretty good actually. The base we have been setting up is growing.” He continued as I sat sipping my own glass of Mek’kefa. “We have had a lot of recruits coming from both the Imperial side of things and also from the Admiral’s home world but communications between the two are often difficult. The Chiss language is very hard to learn, most of the basic speakers have trouble with even trying. Hell, we can’t even pronounce their names right let alone communicate.” He paused to take another bite of sandwich then continued. “The Chiss are a strange group of people and they don’t really like to mix with humans so you can imagine that this causes some tensions. The Admiral tells me it will pass, given time, training and the right personnel. He’s currently considering his options as far as translators and training goes. Right now we rely heavily on the Outer Rim trade languages. It’s been a lesson in patience, that’s for sure.” He stopped and looked at me. “What about you? How are things?” He asked.

“Crazy, as usual.” I said. “I suppose you heard all about Hoth, yeah?”

He nodded. “Read some of the Intel reports. Sounded like fun.”

“Oh yeah just buckets of amusement. You know what kids and snow are like.” I made a face. “Still, maybe the victory will calm things down a bit.”

“You actually believe that?”

I stared at him for a moment. “Uhm, nope… not really.”

He finished the last of the sandwich, bobbing his head in agreement. “That’s what I thought. The Admiral thinks this defeat will only serve to fuel the rebellion’s fire, but you didn’t hear that from me.” He said draining the last of the mek’kefa and smiling. “Now, I am afraid I have to get going.” He got up, picked up the letters, tucked them in a courier envelope and then made me sign for everything. “I appreciate the pocket of calm though, the hot drink and lunch. It will tide me over till the next rations packet.”

“You really should eat better.” I admonished. I sounded like Bel, or worse, Shiv.

He gave me a look, “You’re one to talk.” He retorted giving me the once up and down.

I just made a face. I knew what he was seeing. Since the meeting with the Emperor on Wayland I had neither slept nor eaten properly. I was well aware of the dark circles under my eyes and that I had lost some weight. I figured it was just an adjustment phase and I’d get back to normal soon enough, provided I could figure out what normal actually was.

“You need to take care of yourself, Miss. When the Admiral returns to find you looking like a refugee from a war zone he won’t be all that happy, especially with me since I tell him you’re fine when he asks.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Don’t suppose you can give me a time frame on the ‘when he returns bit’ can you?”

“That would spoil the surprise.” He said lightly.

I just cocked my head to one side and saw him to the door. “So it would. Take care of yourself.”

“Take your own advice.” He shot back with a cheerful grin and vanished out of the office.

As I cleaned up I thought about what he had said concerning the base on Nirauan. I knew how tricky Cheunh was to learn and I found it amusing to imagine a base full of stiff Imperials trying their best to learn it. What was even more amusing was the image of a frosty group of Chiss trying to decipher basic from a bunch of stuffy Imperials who didn’t really like aliens to begin with. I wasn’t sure this combination would work, but if anyone could pull it off Thrawn could. These thoughts made me smile. Once I was done, with Thrawn’s latest mail in hand, I shut the lights off to my office, locked the door and went home.

I had been living in Thrawn’s flat, away from the palace pretty much since the unveiling of the Executor. While, for appearances sakes I still kept some clothes and some basic belongings at my palace apartment I was rarely ever there unless I absolutely had to be. The palace, despite all the security no longer felt safe to me. Leaving it was sometimes the best part of my day.

When I got home I was always grateful when I could close the door and walk inside to the one place on this busy, noisy planet where I truly felt at ease. Despite the fact that Thrawn hadn’t been on Coruscant in a while, the flat still held a vague hint of his scent. I put this down to his soap and shower gel which I sometimes used. It was comforting in an odd way.

Once indoors I made my way to the bedroom, stripped off my work clothes and changed into more comfortable things. I decided to order in from the local Corellian take out place. While I was waiting for my food, I opened a bottle of wine, poured a glass, went into the living room, lit candles and sat down to finally open my mail.

The package contained one letter and two books. The books held memories, quick flashes of images, one of Thrawn buying them from a bookseller in an antique shop filled with shelves of books and some of the people who had read them before he had found them. Each reader had fallen in love with the books. They were warm memories that filled in the loneliness of the evening and they made me smile.

I put the books down and opened his letter; it was bulky which meant it was long. With a sip of wine and a smile I settled down to read.

A’mia Tekari,

I know this reply comes late and for that I apologise. It has been a busy time for us. As you can imagine, not everyone we meet out here in the Unknown Regions is sympathetic to our cause and sometimes a show of force is a necessity. As of late I have found myself engaged in several small conflicts which have had to be dealt with quickly and efficiently. No need to worry though, these particular skirmishes were minor and the results were in our favour.

I found your ‘Daily Digest’ version of the events at Hoth most amusing, especially as I was also privy to the official reports shortly after the events took place, and before you ask, I have my sources. I was satisfied to read that the victory was swift and without great losses for the Imperials but I am also certain, that like most fanatics this defeat will only help to fuel the Rebellion’s fervour. Those who died will be revered as martyrs to their great crusade, held up as heroes and only serve to persuade others to join in the cause for which they have died, rather than act as a deterrent.

It did not surprise me to read of Admiral Ozzel’s error in judgement, nor of Vader’s swift and final punishment. While brutal and unyielding in many respects, Vader is, in his own right, a brilliant tactician. It must have infuriated him to have his plans overridden by an admiral who was never known for his brilliance in battle strategy.

It was your account of what took place at Bespin that was of more interest to me because there was no official report made about these actions. It does not surprise me that events which concern the capture of Luke Skywalker are kept quiet. Aside from the fact that he is the offspring of the man who is now known as Lord Vader, he is also a focal point of the Rebellion. He is their hero, the kid from the Rim who turned into their saviour at the last minute just when it counted the most and thus, their inspiration. If a young, somewhat uneducated farmer from Tatooine can succeed then anyone can. It stands to reason that any attempt to capture this very important figure will be kept as secret as possible. The rebels are surprisingly well informed, which leads me to believe there are leaks coming from within the Imperial ranks that should be dealt with swiftly.

Does it really surprise you that the son of Lord Vader would be sought after as prize by the Emperor? If the father’s force powers are a thing to be reckoned with then would it also not stand to reason that so are the son’s? You are living proof that a Jedi’s offspring often carry on that particular family trait. Lord Vader’s plan to trap the young Skywalker boy was ambitious but once again, it would appear that he has underestimated both his son’s strengths and the will of the boy’s friends to survive. Desperate people who feel they have nothing to lose are often capable of the most astounding feats.

Your description of Bespin made it sound lovely and to answer your question no, I have never seen it. Your comment about being able to sleep in the pilot’s chair made me smile, and trust me, I am well aware of everything you are capable of in a ship, probably more so than anyone else, especially in the engine room where, if I recall correctly, you are quite good dealing with heated situations. And before you complain, yes you did say ‘no jokes’, but you did not mention anything about innuendos so I will take full advantage of the situation and the opening you have left for me. While I do so enjoy these verbal skirmishes I should return to the topic at hand, there will be time enough to tease you later on.

I cannot imagine what must have been so valuable that Vader would risk the entire fleet including its flag ship to go tearing through an asteroid field just to capture one smuggler’s ship. I must confess, my dear, there are moments when even I do not understand his thought process. Just as an aside, I can attest that space slugs are real. The Vengeance was all but destroyed by one near Ithor, but they are a rare sight and for most denizens of the galaxy as much myth and legend as the Dantassi so that you had difficulty convincing your young friend of their existence is of no surprise.

Speaking of the Dantassi I assume that you were able to use your talents and figure out that it was Kirja’navaar’inkjerii who made the small box which housed the pendant I sent for your birthday. I am not sure how much you were able to read from the box so I shall tell you a little more about it here.

He carved your gift from a tooth of the great crystal worm which is a species native to the planet Mygeeto. The great worms burrow and bore their way through the planet’s frozen surface using rings of large teeth with which they chew through the ice, warm it up to liquid within their bodies, digest the nutrients and minerals they need, then secrete the waste as water which subsequently freezes behind them. You can tell where the worms have travelled because the when the waste-water they leave behind freezes again it is not the packed white glacial ice standard to such a climate but a clear ice that appears as the most astounding colour of blue one has ever seen. This ice is mined and used for drinking water as it is quite pure and clean. It is also said to have magical properties, but of that there is no proof.

A Crystal Worm’s teeth are highly prized for their strength and their beauty. They are usually carved into a variety of things ranging from weapons to jewellery. The average size of a crystal worm’s tooth will have the approximate diameter close to the width of your hand and will be as long as the length of mine, so you can imagine, given the size of their teeth, how large the creatures themselves are. While these worms are elusive and rarely seen they are formidable fighters when hunted and renowned for their viciousness and cunning.

The Dantassi consider hunting the Crystal Worms an enormous challenge and such a hunt is usually done only as a rite of passage. The difficulty of tracking and then actually killing one of these creatures is barely balanced by the wealth of its meat, teeth and skin. As you well know, the Dantassi do not hunt for pleasure, it is a part of their culture. They do not kill for the sake of killing and use as much of whatever they have hunted so that there is no waste, nor do they take more than they need, thus they maintain the balance between them and nature.

When Kirja’navaar’inkjerii was a young boy on the brink of manhood he was taken on such a hunt. Young Dantassi males are given the right to choose the creature that will mark their passage into manhood. He requested the most difficult creature of all. As you can guess, he was successful. The tooth he carved your gift from came from the worm he killed. As the one who made the kill he had the privilege of keeping the worm’s teeth. The tale of this hunt is gripping and it is often told, as is tradition. Despite the fact that I have heard it many times, it never loses its magic. One day I hope that you will get to hear it first hand from Kirja’navaar’inkjerii, it is not my story to tell and I would never be able to do it justice.

He often speaks of you when we are fortunate enough to meet up and while I do my best to keep him appraised of your whereabouts and adventures he is none the less concerned that I am not doing my duty as your Ta’kasta’cariad. The next time you meet with him, be prepared to be interrogated heavily on my participation in your life.

He was also most concerned about the continual harassment of Jyrki Andando and mentioned something about hunting this individual himself. I felt it important to inform him of the involvement of the Tze’yusha’Jin Akosh and his facial expression told me that they do indeed know each other. He would not, however, elaborate and I know Kirja’navaar’inkjerii well enough to know when not to push. I could not get a sense of whether or not the relationship between the two men was one of good terms or not, Kirja’navaar’inkjerii is notoriously difficult to read when he wants to be and has what you would call an amazing sabacc face.

Speaking of faces, I can picture the expression on yours and the question that you are bursting to ask, namely, how is Kirja’navaar’inkjerii doing, just as clearly as I can see you sitting at home, probably curled up in your favourite chair in the living room, with candles lit, and a glass of wine, most likely the dry Veronian. So before you explode with curiosity I will tell you that he is well. When I last saw him we were on our way to Ilum, an ice planet in the Unknown Regions known for its rare Adegan crystals as well as its inhospitable climate. There was a pirate base there which was used by Imperials at one point, but due to its fairly isolated location in relation to the rest of the galaxy was left abandoned some time ago, sporadically used by opportunists. I thought, given its prime location in the Unknown Regions it might be of use to revive it as a small outpost and we now have a working garrison stationed there.

I had contacted Kirja’navaar’inkjerii to aid us in navigating the planet’s surface, as you know there are no better trackers than the Dantassi and as a Jhal’kai, Kirja’navaar’inkjerii is among the best this galaxy has to offer. We two, along with a small detachment of snow troopers, explored and secured the base and I was pleasantly surprised to find it mostly intact. Once that task was completed I was able to spend some private time with him and catch up. While most of what we discussed will not be of particular interest to you, I can tell you that he recently spent time with his daughter and her husband on Csilla, citing you as the catalyst for trying to repair his relationship with her. From what he said, it was not unsuccessful and he seemed more at peace with this subject than I have seen in many years. He informed me that he would like you to come and spend time with him and the enclave on Hjal, to learn the Dantassi ways and to join him on a hunt or two. I think that behind this request is a desire to make sure that you are safely out of Mr. Andando’s way. I told him that I had already discussed securing you to a desk under the guard of a garrison of storm troopers and he was as unimpressed with this suggestion as you were.

I do not say this lightly, he is concerned for you and the negative attentions you are receiving at the hands of your mechanic friend. I don’t believe that respect or fear, if that is even the case, of Tze’yusha’Jin Akosh will prevent him from making it a personal mission to hunt down Andando and eliminate him as a threat should that situation not find resolution soon. Jyrki’s use of the Anzati weapon in your last encounter made Kirja’navaar’inkjerii angrier than I have seen him in a very long time and while he is a man of great patience, it is not infinite. I would not be too surprised if he seeks you out at some point to see for himself that you are, indeed, in one piece and doing well. Don’t say that I did not warn you if he should show up unannounced.

You spoke of the book by Aude’luan’tyvan that I gave you and I must admit, my dear, I felt a great sense of satisfaction hearing that you enjoyed it in the way that you did. Perhaps it will dissuade you from continuing to read the terrible rubbish that passes for Romance writing which Bel seems to love so much. While I understand, to a certain extent, the need for such reading material in her life, I am not so understanding when it comes to why you would wish to continue to have it in yours. From my point of view I can only say it gives men a terrible reputation and a very strange viewpoint on what love, relationships and romance even sexuality is all about. Or am I missing the point entirely?

While Aude’luan’tyvan’s novel is considered a classic it is also regarded as a break-through in the genre of romantic, passionate bordering on erotic writing something the Chiss are not at all known for. When it was first published some two hundred years ago the scandal it caused was enormous. Thankfully this did not deter him from continuing to write and now, more enlightened that we are, my people see his works as an important part of our evolution as higher educated beings who have come to understand that devotion to a more logical side of thinking and behaviour does not preclude tapping into the more sensual aspect of our psyche.

I have sent you two more books which I think you might enjoy, one is by the same author as the previous one and one is written by an author called Chia’mylee’stranjeri who is a newcomer to the genre but very good at her craft. I thought that it might be of interest to you to get both a female and male perspective.

What I enjoyed the most about reading these books was the authors’ abilities to express the erotic without actually expressing anything in a truly graphic manner. One can buy such graphic reading material in any dive on Coruscant, but I would hardly call it literature in any sense of the word. Perhaps I simply feel, from my somewhat snobbish point of view, that literature aught to have all elements of plot, character development and good use of language not just an extended how- to of the act of sexual union and a barrage of monotonous descriptions of what two or more beings engaged in the act of mating looks like. Of course Bel’s romance books are less like that and more along the lines of long winded explanations of how the virginal heroine winds up in bed with the local buffed up bad boy, amusing to be sure, but hardly great literature.

As I said before, I had hoped that you would feel the same way I do about the book I sent and I gratified to see you do. You can, if you wish, wait until I have returned to the core to read the two books I have sent but would it not be more enjoyable to spend our free time together in other more productive, more communicative ways?

Sj’iu tekari, you are a creature of extraordinary depth and passion despite what you may think. It did not surprise me to read that you experienced the writings of Aude’luan’tyvan so keenly. Your rather unique ability to not only sense emotion but shower it back at others is one that I have been privy to on more than one occasion but I swear will never quite get used to it. I do not envy you the powers that you have but sometimes I am grateful to be on the receiving end of that one in particular. It is good to know that you miss sharing my bed with me and believe me when I say, this feeling is mutual.

I am certain that you know me well enough by now to know that I do not sit in the dark brooding nor do I have the tendency to be maudlin and morose but suffice to say, sometimes in the quiet moments of my down time, you are on my mind. Every now and then, I am certain that I catch a hint of your perfume and hear your voice whispering in my ear but these are merely tricks of memory, and never as good as the real thing. My dear, should I describe to you how you come to me in dreams sometimes? That occasionally I wake up, the lingering sensation of your fingers still upon my skin? Perhaps these are conversations better left for face to face, when I can augment my words with kiss and caress. You, of all people, know that some things are worth waiting for.

Lastly, you caught me very much by surprise with your last question. I was not aware that any information about my possible change of rank had been made public, or is it that you have better sources than I give you credit for? Perhaps it is simply impossible for anything that is supposed to be secret to remain that way within the sphere of the Imperial Court. Of course, you do have access to more classified information than most, still this particular tidbit was supposed to be, how shall we say, unattainable. I can neither confirm nor deny these rumours but if I were to mention that we shall be seeing each other soon enough, would that answer your questions? I would also beg of you not to speak of this publicly, there would be serous repercussions if word of this got out. I would prefer it did not come from you.

On that note my dear, I must end this missive so that I can give it to Jarack before he leaves the ship. Take care of yourself and try not to isolate yourself too much when you return to the core, take advantage of all the Imperial City’s culture and sparkle while you can. Despite your feelings for the planet, Coruscant has much to offer and you are in the fortunate position to enjoy it without impediment. And, for goodness sake, stay out of trouble I do not wish to return only to find you recuperating in a med-lab. I, too, have plans which mostly involve you being healthy and whole.

Ilath’mera’talashti’Ia
Mitth’raw’nuruodo

I had just finished reading when the door chime rang to let me know that my food had arrived. I let the delivery guy up and cheerfully took the food box he handed to me. I must have been beaming because he gave me a beautiful smile back.

“Looks like someone had a good day.” He said with a grin.

“It was. I hope yours was too.” I paid him and gave him a healthy tip. His grin broadened, he gave me a polite nod and left.

There was nothing like a letter from Thrawn, good wine, decent food which I didn’t have to cook, and a delivery man who smiled like he meant it to make the day’s end perfect.

In the City that never sleeps 2

Shiv strolled around the living room admiring the art while I pottered around the kitchen. I didn’t feel awkward inviting him into what I still thought of as Thrawn’s home, because he’d been here once before and been welcomed in. Thrawn had once told me that he was happy that Shiv had chosen to take me under his wing. I was glad too; Shiv was a good friend, one who didn’t put up with any silliness from me. He kept me grounded, which was a necessity considering where and for whom I worked. It would have been easy to let all the glamour and wealth of the Imperial Court lifestyle go to my head. Even though I tried really hard to ignore the silliness, I could still see the negative changes it had on me. I had made Shiv promise me once that if I ever started turning into one of those people that he should smack me upside the head. So far, he had taken this request to heart. The results were amusing and occasionally painful.

“He has amazing taste in everything doesn’t he? I never get tired of looking at his art collection.” Shiv said, looking over his shoulder at me as I walked into the room.

I smiled as I opened a bottle of wine. “Yes, he does, but that’s not a side of him most people ever get to see.”

“Well, can you blame him for keeping that part of his life private?”

I shook my head. “Considering how the carrion eaters that dine on gossip seem to turn everything good into everything ugly, I’m glad he’s that way.”

“Have you heard anything from him lately?”

I shook my head. “No, not since my birthday. I guess I had hoped for a letter when I returned here, he’s usually good at keeping track of when I am back on planet, but you know how it is…” I shrugged but I didn’t quite keep the whine out of my voice. It was the first time I had worried about him and what he was actually doing, something that when I had really thought about it, I knew very little about.

He smiled. “He’s a high ranking Imperial Officer, Merly, he’s busy.”

I made a face. “I know that, I just get concerned is all!”

“Well being an Admiral in the Imperial Navy isn’t exactly a nine to fiver if you know what I mean. As I understand it from the teeny weenie amount of things you will let slip about the two of you, he tries to fit you into his life as best he can. You’re a lot luckier than most of the girls I know in your place. He actually gives a damn about you unlike some of the other officers and the girls they sleep with.”

“I know, you’re right, I’m sorry. I hate that I feel this way but I do. It’s driving me crazy.” I stopped him from lecturing me further. “But if I can’t talk to you about this stuff, then who can I talk to?”

“Cati?” he teased.

I gave him a look. “I adore her but she doesn’t want to hear this crap from me, she gets an earful from enough of her other clientele. I don’t want to become one of those girls who always whine about everything man related.” I retorted.

“Are you really worried about him?” He asked coming back to sit at the breakfast bar, taking the glass of wine I offered.

I thought about it for a moment. “Worried isn’t really the right word.” I replied. “He can take care of himself and he’s incredibly good at what he does but it’s still dangerous.” I paused for a second to choose my words carefully. “When I first came to work for Lord Vader I actually never gave all this fighting stuff much thought, it’s not as if we see a lot of massive space conflicts on Tatooine so I didn’t know enough to be concerned but now that’s changed. I’ve been in some of these space battles, albeit relatively safe on the side lines but still, I’ve stood and watched Imperials die fighting for what they believe in. Lately it seems as though the conflicts between the Empire and the Rebellion have been getting more and more vicious, so yeah, I am concerned. Thrawn’s brilliant but he’s not omnipotent, there is always the chance that something will go wrong.” I shrugged. “And, I miss him.”

“Of course you do.” He said with a gentleness that made me look up at him. “I’d be worried if you didn’t.”

We touched glasses and took sipped our wine in silence for a few moments.

I looked at Shiv for a second then asked coyly. “So, just how much do you know about what goes on at the palace these days?”

“Enough to make Isard worry should I ever turn into a rebel sympathiser.” he said casually but there was a pain in his voice that made me wince. “Why, what do you want to know?” He asked.

“I heard a rumour about something when I was on the Executor.”

“There are lots of rumours going around could you be a tad more specific?” he said cagily, watching me from over the rim of his wine glass as he took another sip.

“I heard that a certain Admiral whose home we are currently sitting in is about to be promoted to the highest level attainable.”

That made Shiv pause. “How…where did you hear that?” He was genuinely surprised.

“I told you, while I was on Executor. Is it true?”

“Did Vader tell you this?”

I shook my head. “No, he’s never mentioned it and I haven’t asked him about it,”

He drew a deep breath. “Merly, you can’t know this.”

“Why not?”

“Because in difference to the usual palace gossip, this is seriously top secret. Almost no one knows.”

I shook my head. “Can’t be that top secret, I found out and you know.”

“Yes, and that worries me.” He said. “Who told you?”

“How did you know?” I countered.

We stared at each other. He caved first.

“I get told certain things when I need to organise separate venues, particularly when there are high levels of security involved. Despite the Shiv is a bit of a twit thing I try to maintain, my job actually entails a lot of security details and I get entrusted with a lot of classified information.” He said after a moment. He raised his eyebrows. “Your turn.”

“Someone who works closely with the Emperor tipped me off, but in confidence.”

“Let me guess, a certain Royal Guard on trooper rotation.” It wasn’t a question, I had written to Shiv often enough about my friendship with CJ.

I made a face. “I am fairly sure he thought I knew when he told me.”

He shook his head. “Listen to me; you need to keep this information really, really quiet.” He sighed. “Or have you already told anyone else?”

I shook my head. “No one, I only asked you because you are the best source of news I know.”

“If word of this was to get out, if the media gets a hold of it well, bloody hell Merly, it would be messy and really bad. I am not even sure the Council of Twelve knows about this. The last thing you want is to be labelled as a leak or worse.”

“I get the message.” I said defensively. “What do you mean they don’t know?”

He avoided giving me an actual answer. “What about Thrawn, is he aware you know about this?”

“I asked about it loosely in one of my letters but we don’t write in basic so it would be hard for someone who didn’t speak Cheunh to translate. I haven’t heard an answer yet.” I told him. “In fact I am still waiting for Jarack to drop by so I can send Thrawn my thank-you for his birthday gift.”

“He sent you a gift; you never told me that, what did he give you?” he changed the topic so effortlessly I was momentarily speechless then I pulled my necklace out from under my top and showed him.

“Oh my!” he said as he took the pendant in his fingers to look at. The way he moved the stone back and forth told me that he had found the stone’s inner fire. “Is this genuine?”

I nodded.

Shiv shook his head. “Well, this just reaffirms my statement about his taste and how he feels about you.” He said letting go of the pendant. “But you should avoid showing that off, or at least telling people who it is from.”

“Why?” I asked, and then added. “And just for the record, I don’t run around showing off.”

“I know you don’t do that but I needed to say it anyway. It makes me feel better.”

“Okay, so why the warning?”

“While I know that he gives you expensive gifts because he actually likes you, there are some at court who will think he is buying your loyalties or worse buying Vader’s by courting you.” he said.

We’d talked about this before. “That’s ridiculous!”

He gave a little one shoulder shrug. “Is it? Paranoia runs rampant within the Imperial Court especially these days. Thrawn is a major player, despite his supposed fall from grace, and you are the woman who shares his bed. You and Lord Vader have a very good working relationship which has also not gone unnoticed. People will assume the worst not the best.”

I sighed. “Why does everything that is good have to turn into something sordid and tainted?”

Shiv shook his head. “It doesn’t have to if you don’t let it. But the inner circle of the Imperial world is a vicious place. This is a court that does not like unknowns and that’s what the two of you are. Thrawn because he is alien who shares nothing of whom or what he is to anyone. He is a huge threat to the men who want the power that he appears to so casually disregard yet so effortlessly gains.” He said. “You are an unknown because although you officially have the title of Personal Assistant, the rumours are that that Vader regards you as much, much more than this but no one knows quite what that is. You get special treatment from important people, yet you still wander around the place like a dewy eyed farmer’s daughter fresh off the transport. You, my Outer Rim friend, don’t add up.”

I made a face.

He continued. “Despite the fact that neither of you flaunt your relationship with each other, people have still figured it out. It’s a little difficult to hide the chemistry between you two actually, even though you try. HoloNet reporters can smell an affair or a scandal a light year away. Plus, what makes it all the more unusual is that from behind the scenes, the Emperor seem to condone your affair, leading people to think there is more to the story than just simple romantic attraction. That very public banishment and innuendo about your involvement was for show, most people in the inner circle suspect that there were ulterior motives behind that event. It would not be the first time that Emperor has played this sort of game. It’s natural for the flesh eaters at court to want to strip the bones bare.”

“So…are you saying that my relationship with Thrawn was set up by the Emperor?”

Shiv shook his head. “No, I don’t think that is the case but this is how it looks to the outside viewer.” He shrugged “I don’t know the Admiral nearly as well as you do but I don’t think he’s the kind of man who would engage in a serious relationship with someone just because it was good for his political career. If that were the case he’d be best pals with the Council of Twelve and you’d see him at the Officer’s club being social, or with a HoloNet starlet on his arm instead of keeping himself to himself here with you.”

He swirled the remaining wine around in his glass. “You know, when you first came to work for Vader there were pools going on all over the place as to just how long you would last in the job. You’ve surpassed them all. Then people started to take bets on which of the high ranking officers you would end up with. Thrawn was not on that list but Zaarin was, in fact he was ranked number one. You’re not what you appear to be and anyone who spends more than five minutes with soon figures this out.” He paused to sip his wine, “Did you know there’s a huge theory saying that you are really Vader’s daughter secretly being trained by the Emperor to take his place?”

I nearly choked on my wine. “Are you serious?” I rolled my eyes. I had not heard that one yet.

He nodded. “Merly, you would probably have kittens if you knew half of the stories that fly around the palace about you.”

I buried my head in my hands. “I don’t think I want to know. I can assure you, though, I am most definitely not Vader’s daughter and I am absolutely not being groomed to take his place. I never heard such ronto-rot in all my life.” I giggled, then sighed. “I don’t understand this obsession the court has with sex, scandals and conspiracy theories.”

Shiv replied. “Because while to the outsider courtly life may seem exciting, glamorous and fun, in reality it is mostly boring. People look for anything to make it less dull and give their stupid lives here some meaning.” He answered. “I know you don’t sleep around and Thrawn would not jeopardise his career by indulging in bedroom politics. That would be beneath him, he has too much integrity and pride for that.”

“Pride?” I asked, rising to the bait.

Shiv laughed. “Oh yes, maybe you don’t see it but he is proud and arrogant, he just hides it behind that cool blue mask of super intelligence.”

I made a face. I did see it and had even called him on it once or twice, but Shiv didn’t need to know that.

“Don’t put him up on a pedestal, even the best of men cannot live up to that sort of expectation.” He chided gently. “He’s not perfect you know, if you do that to him you will be disappointed.”

“I do know that, but you’ve got to admit, he’s pretty damned close.” It was as close to gushing as I ever got. I quickly shut my mouth and refilled our wine glasses.

Shiv rolled his eyes and gave me a huge mock sigh. “Ugh, love really is blind, isn’t it?”

I just looked at him then realised how neatly he had veered me off track. “Stop avoiding my initial question and tell me what you can about this possible promotion.” I poked his arm.

He took a drink of his wine and sighed. “Okay, you are aware that the dedication for the new wing is coming up soon?”

I nodded, “In two weeks if I read the memo correctly.”

“Well,” Shiv said with a nod, “If I were you, I’d expect to see a familiar face in attendance at that event.”

I let out the breath I had been holding. Grand Admiral was the highest rank that a military officer serving in the Empire could achieve. For Thrawn it would be the pinnacle of his career and it would give him a great deal of power and perhaps even the respect he had earned.

“So it’s true and the Emperor is really planning this?”

Shiv raised his eyebrows. “Come on kiddo, use your brains. I can’t tell you anything concrete outright and you know that. But let’s just say the dedication party will be a really big thing and if a few high ranking people vanish off for a while to hold a private meeting…well.” He gave a small shrug.

“Why so secret?” I asked. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“Doesn’t it? Imagine what sort of a message this will send to the Council of Twelve when they find out. It shakes things up. It makes people edgy. It tells the fat rats who think they own it all that they can be replaced by someone who isn’t human. Thrawn is one of the Emperor’s most valued, most underrated and most useful pieces in what is a very complicated chess like game.”

“How do you know that?”

“I have my sources.” He said. “Did you know that Thrawn has been demoted about eight times and then the Emperor promptly promoted him again?”

I nodded. “Yeah, he’s spoken about some of that, I didn’t know how many times though.” I said. “The Emperor doesn’t like being told he’s wrong.”

“It is a game the Emperor plays with him or maybe he plays with the Emperor.” He shrugged, “Thrawn is not scared of Palpatine and that makes him unusual in every way possible. Do you know what that must mean to a man like the Emperor who has it all, including the fear of an entire galaxy?”

“Are you saying the Emperor is scared of Thrawn?”

“Of course not! Don’t be obtuse!” He snorted “Palpatine doesn’t seem to fear anything but he is very intrigued by your Admiral and has been for a very long time. Curiosity, something that actually piques his interest is rare so of course he plays with this toy. Thrawn’s brilliance and alien nature are a never ending source of amusement to the Emperor.”

I drew a deep breath. “I’ve never really thought about any of this.” I could not imagine what Thrawn must have felt about any of this. Then again, Thrawn was quite adept at playing these games to the best of his advantage.

“Well, sometimes you can be a little self involved.”

His comment stung. “Is that your way of telling me I’m selfish?” I asked.

He shook his head, reached over and ruffled my hair with a smile. “No, not selfish, self involved there is a difference. It’s just that you tend to look inward rather than outward. You still see the world in terms of how it affects you and not a wider circle. It’s normal at your age; my sister was like that too. Most people are, but you’ll grow out of it.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because you ask the right questions.” He said knowingly.

I just sighed. “Remind me never to whinge at you again.”

He laughed. “It’s easy to see you grew up an only kid.” Then his expression softened, “Look, I know you miss him. It’s not as if you have it easy either. Been there done that, but I have to tell you I think you handle his absence way better than some of the officer’s wives I know do when their husband’s get sent off on some mission for a week. I half expected when you guys started to sleep together that you would moon over him all the time. I guess you’re a bit tougher than even I thought.”

“Glad I could surprise you, I guess.” I said and then added thoughtfully. “I don’t think Thrawn would have kept me around if I was the mooning mopey kind.”

He grinned. “You’re right about that.” Then he added, “Listen kiddo, when this event does happen, I am certain you will know about it. You might not get to see it, but you will know.”

I toyed with my wine glass, wondering what it was that the Emperor was really up to because if I had learned anything it was that he did nothing without subterfuge. Shiv noticed my expression but read it wrong.

“Don’t worry about the Admiral, like you said, he can take care of himself. I’m sure you’ll hear from him soon and he’ll be back before you know it.” Shiv said and before I could correct him the door chime rang, our food was here. We sat and ate in the living room in front of the Holo screen watching a fairly decent Holo version of Schiell Dannett’s The Corellian Curse. Eating in the living room was something that would have horrified Thrawn who considered it incredibly uncouth to eat dinner anywhere but at the table, oddly enough I delighted in this act, it reminded me of being at home on Tatooine.

I was glad that Shiv was around. He was an excellent friend. Even though Tygs was gone, Jyrki was still out there and he was clever as well as obsessed, not a good combination. If he really wanted to he’d find a way to get to me which was not a comforting thought. Shiv left after the film was done and he had helped me clean the dishes.

The flat always seemed vast when I was alone in it. I went through the routines of going to bed knowing that if I slept through the night it would be a miracle. Nightmares had become a regular feature in my sleep. In between them were dreams I could not decipher and only half remembered upon waking. They included my birth mother, Qui Gon Jinn among others. I put the dreams down to too much time spent listening to my mother’s diary.

It was a strange thing to hear and see the young woman who would give birth to me talk about her daily life, her dreams and her fears. I was learning a lot about the life of a padewan learner, a jedi in training but I was not sure if that was what I wanted to know. I wasn't sure what it was I was looking for. I was searching for answers but I wasn’t finding any. I suspected this was because I was not certain what my questions were. Even more frustrating was that I still hadn’t been able to access the second holocron. It occurred to me that at some point I would probably have to go back to the Jedi Temple but I didn’t want to.

I lay in bed, tossing and turning, my thoughts wandering all over the place. I felt as though my life had become a series of oddly placed events surrounded by surreal settings. Lack of a decent night’s sleep made me maudlin, edgy and well aware that I not only did I miss Thrawn; I also ached for him, yearned for him. It was a weakness I hated myself for and usually left me reading trashy romance novels as a substitute into the very small hours of the morning. Sleeping had become something I dreaded and the nights stretched out long and unforgiving.