The Wrong Side of Right 11

The Sigiri came out of hyperspace shuddering violently. I woke from my doze disoriented and confused. I had been dreaming but the images in my head made no sense to me. For a second I had no idea where I was and then everything came flooding back. The emptiness I felt in the pit of my gut was so physically painful that I had to fight the urge to throw up. I would have cried if there had been time but alarms were screaming at me. My sorrow could wait and I shoved it deep down inside of me.

The Sigiri’s engines had over heated and there had been more damage done by the shock wave from the Death Star’s explosion than I had thought. I wasn’t sure if I could fix it but I was pretty sure I could nurse the hyperdrive until I reached a safe place to set down and get repairs. I patched up the engine as much as I could then I consulted the star charts to see where I was, grateful the nav system was functioning properly.

I had flown quite far and according to the charts I was somewhere out on the edge of the Mid Rim past a planet called Rakata Prime. I didn’t know much about this planet and there was very little in the database so I made the decision to avoid it. I had no desire to find myself on a rebel friendly planet in an Imperial shuttle. I sighed as I ran through the data-base looking for Imperial friendly planets and found a name I knew. Nirauan.

I sat back in the pilot’s chair with a sigh. Thrawn, I thought. He had told me about this planet, he had built a secret base of operations on it. I wondered where he was and if news of what had happened had already made its way out to the Unknown Regions. I had tried to contact any Imperial ships who would have been close on the emergency frequency but there was nothing but static. Long range communications in that region of space were unreliable because the HoloNet system was not fully set up so far away from the core. I punched the coordinates to Nirauan into the nav computer and prayed the engines would hold until I got there.

I was truly tired but I couldn’t sleep. I should have tried but every time I closed me eyes all I saw was the Executor as it crashed into the Death Star and the sensation of being torn apart from the inside out as Lord Vader had died. I couldn’t bear it so I buried it and spent much of my time in the engine room babysitting the engine and the hyperdrive. I was grateful for the small mercy that I was at least on a ship I knew well and had spent many hours in. I forced myself to think rationally and concentrate on what I would tell Thrawn when I finally found him. I wasn’t sure he would be at the base on Nirauan but I had to try. It never even occurred to me to go back to Coruscant or to make contact with any of the other ships in the fleet. I had been so torn apart by the Emperor’s planned betrayal of Lord Vader that I had not thought about anything else. When the hyperdrive alarm peeped to let me know I was entering normal space I was curled up on the engine room floor, numb and exhausted.

Nirauan was a small arboreal planet, the second of three, which orbited a weak red star. Thrawn had spoken of its strange terrain, beautiful vegetation and natural lakes. The base itself had been built over an existing structure and vaguely resembled an outstretched hand. They call it the hand of Thrawn, he had said jokingly as he told me about some of the people who he had stationed there. As I approached the planet I broadcast my Imperial security clearance codes on the Imperial emergency channel. It did not take long to get a reply. I was asked for more identification and I gave it, after a moment’s pause I was given landing instructions. I followed them to the letter not wishing to make what I was sure would be a difficult meeting any harder.

As I styled the shuttle to land I could see why the place had been nicknamed the Hand of Thrawn, there were five towers which reached up out of the base. It did, from a certain angle, resemble like a hand. All they needed to do to make it perfect, I thought wryly, was paint it blue.

Once the Sigiri had touched down, her engines shut off and the boarding ramp lowered I gathered my courage and went to meet who ever was waiting for me. I was shocked to see a friendly face and even more so to see no armed guards or angry troopers waiting for me.

“Miss Gabriel? This is a pleasant surprise, did Lord Vader send you?” Voss Parck stepped forward to meet me, motioning the two Chiss at his side to relax. His smile was genuine but he could not hide the puzzlement he felt.

“Commander Parck….” I began but suddenly lost the ability to speak. Emotion swept through me like blast fire and I had to cover my mouth to stop the sob that threatened to spill out. I fought to calm myself and stay steady on my feet.

“Are you okay? You are as white as a snow lilly.” He asked taking me gently by the arm and leading me out of the landing bay into the facility itself.

I shook my head. “No, no not really.”

“Your shuttle shows signs of damage, there’s a lot of carbon scoring, were you in a fight, some sort of skirmish or an ambush?”

“Endor.” I whispered.

He gave me a quizzical look and a slight shake of his head. “Endor?”

“Have you not heard?” I couldn’t believe that he did not know.

He shook his head. “There has been no news from the Core for the last twenty-six hours, apparently the Holonet is having technical difficulties. We have been in a long range comm blackout and the secondary channels are all silent. Has something happened?”

I choked back a strange urge to giggle and glanced at the two Chiss who eyed me with suspicion. “I think we had better speak in private.” I said.

He did not argue against it and led me to a small meeting room, his hand on the small of my back. His familiarity was comforting despite being a breech of decorum. I sat down hard on the nearest chair, grateful for the solidity of the conference table. With my elbows on the table I buried my face in my hands. Park turned to the two Chiss and asked them to leave. One of them went to argue but Park held up his hand. “Miss Gabriel is Lord Vader’s personal assistant. Grand Admiral Thrawn trusts her, so should you. Please wait outside.”

They didn’t like it but they did as they were asked.

“Now,” He said, “First things first, you look awful can I get you something to drink, to eat?”

I shook my head and drew a deep breath. “Where’s Thrawn?” I asked, getting to the point.

Parck shook his head. “We don’t exactly know. He goes out into the Unknown Regions and he’s out of contact range. We are still trying to establish solid Holonet links but there are pirates and traders, as well as several alien species that disapprove of this technology have a tendency to destroy the emitters. Communications at long range out here are difficult. The Admiral generally goes out for two months and unless there is a serious emergency we don’t hear from him until he returns.” He said. “Miss Gabriel, if I may ask, what is going on? Why are you here?”

I drew a deep steadying breath and said, “They’re dead, Voss.”

He stared at me blankly, not understanding.

“The Emperor and Lord Vader, they are both dead. The Executor was destroyed. It crashed into the battle station.” I was amazed at how steady my voice sounded while I told him the news.

He paled visibly and sat down in the chair beside me. He leaned towards me, his face hard and angry. “If this is a joke, it’s in very poor taste.” He said.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I had to fight from breaking down. “Joke?” I asked, now my voice did tremble. “You think I flew all the way out here in a damaged shuttle to joke with you about this?”

“Forgive me, but this news, it’s difficult to believe.”

I just nodded, blinked away the tears. “I know. I was there, I saw it with my own eyes and I still don’t believe it. Download the Sigiri’s logs; you’ll see it to be true.”

“The Emperor is dead? How do you know, did you see him die?” He was still trying to process the unthinkable.

I shook my head. “I felt it. His presence in the force vanished, violently. It was the same for Lord Vader…when he died... they are both dead. They were on the battle station when it exploded. There was no way anyone could have survived that.”

“The battle Station? The new battle station? It was destroyed? How is that possible?” He ran a hand through his hair, visibly distraught by the news.

“The Emperor laid a plan to trap the rebels and destroy them by feeding them the technical data to the battle station, he hoped to lure them to Endor and wipe them all out but something went wrong…,” I stopped to steady myself. “Something went dreadfully wrong.” I hid my trembling hands under the table.

“What happened?” He asked gently.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I have no idea.” I said. “I was not on the Executor or the battle station at the time, I had been doing a…a job for the Emperor and I was on the Sanctuary Moon, waiting.” I didn’t think he needed to know the whole story. I wondered if he would even believe it if I were to tell him. “By the time I was in the air to return to the Executor all hell had broken loose. I was about half way to the station when I saw the flag ship plunge into it. After that word came down to clear the area because it was about to blow up. The Sigiri was caught in the shockwave when the death star blew. I didn’t stick around to be captured by rebels; I just got the hell out of there. I don’t know what happened to the fleet or anything. I don’t know any more than this, the Emperor is gone, everything has changed.” The words caught like hooks in my throat and I clenched my teeth tightly to the sob that wanted to escape from doing so.

“I just don't know how to believe this, I don't know what to do, …I ….”

I looked up at him so sharply he stopped mid sentence. “The Emperor is dead and so is Lord Vader. Nothing, no one could have survived that explosion.” I said. “I have to tell him, I have to tell Thrawn! He’s the only one who can sort this out; he’s the only one who can make sense of it!” I could feel the hysteria rising in my voice and fought hard to back it down.

Parck leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. “The only way to get a message to him is to go to a rendezvous point where they will still be within standard long range comm distance, drop a booster beacon and wait for them to hear the signal.”

“Give me the coordinates. I’ll find him.” I said firmly. I had it in my head that Thrawn could fix this terrible mess and I was not going to be dissuaded from this. That perhaps Sate Pestage, who was technically now in charge of the Empire, would have a back up plan for just this scenario had not even occurred to me.

He gave me a thin smile. “Merlyn, you look as though you are running on vapours, your shuttle is badly damaged and you are in no shape to go anywhere….”

I waved my hand at him and stopped him from speaking. “There is no one else who can tell him what I know. I have to find him and every minute I sit here talking about it is a minute wasted that the rebels gain. Thrawn has to know, I need to find him. Please, Voss, you know I am right.” I could have pushed with the force but I didn’t, I didn’t need to. He could see by my expression that I would not back down. I didn't give him time to reconsider either. “Please....”

I knew he wasn’t happy but that he had no counter argument. I had won. “Okay, but you will take a different shuttle, one that isn’t damaged, with an escort.”

I shook my head. “No, no escort. I do this on my own. I’ll accept a different shuttle, that way if there are rebels out here and I get caught I can lie about who I am, say that I stole the ship to escape. I won’t compromise your work out here and an escort of Imperial pilots will do exactly that. It would raise too many questions if I were to get caught. This place needs to stay a secret. You need to trust me, I am a good pilot and I know what I am doing. I won’t risk anyone else’s life for this, there has been far too much death already!”

He didn’t like this but he wasn’t going to argue either. If the news I had told him was correct, then I was right and Thrawn had to know but the secrecy of this base had to be maintained.

“Well, I guess we should get ready then but I insist you get a decent meal and at least an hour’s rest. It will take that long to prep a ship and copy over the data from the Sigiri. One hour will not make much of a difference now.” I knew from the tone of his voice that he would not budge on this so I nodded, oddly grateful.

He got up and opened the door, spoke to one of the Chiss guards and then motioned for me to follow. “Kshar will show you to guest quarters, I’ll have the quarter master send you clean clothes, and toiletries. I’ll arrange a wake up call in an hour and then you and I will share a warm meal.”

I wanted to throw my arms around him then and hug him for his open kindness and for taking me seriously. Instead I just nodded and followed the Chiss Parck had called Kshar. It was a short silent walk and the small guest area was sparse but serviceable. I thanked Kshar in basic, not wanting to give it away that I spoke his native tongue. A few moments later a knock at the door told me the clothes and toiletries Parck had promised were delivered. I took the pile gratefully and then locked the door. I lay down on the bed and let go of the breath I had been holding for what seemed like forever. I didn’t think I would sleep, but I did. An hour later a knock on the door woke me up.

Showered and wearing clean, unmarked coveralls, I sat at the table in the small Officer’s mess eating the first warm meal I had in ages. I had no idea what I was eating but it was filling and hot. As I soon as I had finished my meal, Parck explained how their communications system worked, showed me on a small data pad where I was heading and the codes I would need to activate the enhancement beacon.

“It’s a very bad area of space though, I would feel better if you were not going alone.” He said as he handed me the datapad. “We have had trouble with hit and run attacks from unknowns.”

I shook my head. “You know I’m right. I stand a better chance on my own.” I did not want to have to worry about someone else. I did not want to be responsible for anyone else. I needed to do this alone. “Did you get the data off the Sigiri?”

He nodded. “Yes, and just so you know, your hyperdrive motivator is shot among many other things, it’s a miracle you made it here alive. The gods must smile on you, I think.”

I wasn’t so sure about any smiling gods that but I wasn’t going to argue with him. “Did you read through the data?”

His business like expression changed to one of sorrow. “Yes. We are trying to establish communications with the Core now, to see how bad things really are but I suspect that who ever was left in charge initiated a total HoloNet lock down and placed Coruscant under martial law until some of this mess can be sorted out. I hope we’ll know more in the next forty eight hours or so.”

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “This is such a terrible mess.”

“Well, if anyone can sort it all out the Grand Admiral can.” He said optimistically. “I’ve had the crews ready a lambda class shuttle called the Aeolian. She’s a solid little ship, used to be an ambassadorial shuttle so she’s more comfortable than the transport shuttles but Thrawn had all the older ships’ weapons upgraded, as well as their nav systems and star charts. She may look like an old girl but she’s feistier than she appears. She’s also unmarked and has a set of fake ident markers if you need to run under the radar, so to speak. The chief mechanic assures me she is in excellent running condition.”

“I need to get a few things off my ship and then, if everything is set, I will leave.” I said getting up. Time was running out, I felt it even though the unimaginable had already happened. I needed to find Thrawn.

Parck nodded. “I’ve had the quartermaster stock the Aeolian fully and added couple of changes of clothes for you; I don’t know how long it will take the Grand Admiral to respond to the signal, could be anywhere from an hour to three days so I thought it best to be prepared. Come on, I’ll escort you.”

On impulse, before he could open the door, I leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

He blushed furiously. “I think you just did. I just hope that I haven’t signed your death warrant by letting you do this.” He said a little gruffly. He had deep misgivings about letting me go on my own and there was no way for me to alleviate them. I wasn’t sure that he was wrong either but the drive to tell Thrawn was stronger than my common sense and I was far from thinking clearly.

The Aeolian had seen better days but Parck was as good as his word and she was a solid ship that had been well taken care of. I took my tool kit and my satchel off the Sigiri, when I had flown from the Executor I had not exactly planned on what had happened next so I didn’t have much in the way of belongings on board her.

“Take good care of my shuttle!” I said to Parck as I turned to board the Aeolian, “She saved my life.”

“I will see to it myself.” He said. “You have all you need? All the data and codes? How to activate the signal booster beacon? And you know what to do if you need help from me or you run into trouble?”

I nodded to each of his questions feeling a little like a kid heading out on her first trip alone. “Voss, I’ll be fine. I’ll find him and tell him what has happened and he’ll come back and fix this mess. It will be fine.” I spoke the words calmly but on the inside I wasn’t so sure. What had happened at Endor had shaken me to the core and what I was about to do made the hair on the back of my neck prickle and stand on end.

“I don’t have to tell you I don’t like this one bit. The area of space you are heading into is known to be a hunting ground for scavengers and pirates.” He frowned. “If anything happens to you Thrawn will have my hide.” He said almost whispering. The worry in his voice spilled out into his features. “He’s not a man to speak of his private life but I know him well enough to understand you are someone precious to him. I do not want to be the one who let you go to your death.”

I nodded. “Well, I will just have to make sure nothing bad happens then.” I said more firmly, more confidently than I actually felt. “A little trust, Commander.” I said. Thrawn’s words not mine and I didn’t really believe them but I didn’t know what else to say. Parck nodded and I knew he had also heard these words before. I turned to leave.

“Good luck, Miss Gabriel.” He said softly. I turned around and looked back at him. I nodded and then shivered as Navaari's words echoed through my mind. It is bad luck to look back.

The Wrong Side of Right 10

The shuttle came down on the small landing pad with a rough bump. The officer at the helm did not have an easy touch with her. I sighed as I watched him shut the engine down and then add a landing lock code on the consol computer. It made me smile a little, Jyrki had taught me all about basic locking codes and the one the Imperials generally used were simple to undo.

I unbuckled myself from the seat and stood up, pushing the blaster that the pinch faced officer still held to my head away from my face with the back of my hand.

“Relax; I am not going any where.” I said coldly. I augmented this with a not so subtle force suggestion that he might want to put the gun away before it blew up in his face. It seemed to work and he holstered the weapon slowly, as if in a dream.

“How long do you intend to keep me here?” I asked calmly.

“Until my orders state other wise, little girl.” He spat. He wasn’t happy about being on guard duty.

“Well then, can I at least get something to drink?” I asked, ignoring his insult. “I’m not going anyplace and you have the gun.”

The man looked at his companion, who simply shrugged. “She’s just a girl what can she do, like she said, Sijac, you’re the one with the blaster.” He said and unbuckled the straps as he got up from the pilot’s seat. “I could use a drink myself.” He added glaring at me, “Babysitting is thirsty work.”

We left the cockpit and made for the small galley. On the way I feigned nausea and begged to open the main ramp for fresh air. I planted a subtle suggestion in both men’s minds that being covered in my vomit would not make the Emperor happy. Fifteen minutes later, a cup of tea in hand I sat on the bottom of the Sigiri’s ramp watching the sky above. The guard named Sijac was pacing restlessly on the ground in front of me. He did not like waiting and he was unhappy with this particular assignment. The other, whose name was Egann, was calmer, more stoic and like me had taken a seat to drink his tea.

I sat with my hands cupped around the mug staring out at the view. This moon was lush and green, beautiful in an untouched sort of way. It was completely different to my own home world but there was something oddly familiar, as though I had been here before. As I tried to understand why this was, I suddenly had to fight from choking on the mouthful of tea I had taken as I gasped in surprise. I had felt a tremor in the force, a very subtle shifting of power. It rippled about the galaxy the way wind plays with a gauzy curtain and felt for all the world like a cold caress on the back of my neck. I shivered and wished I could see what was happening above the moon on the space station. What ever it was it didn’t feel good.

The beta site was several kilometres away from the alpha post and was little more than a small secondary landing site with an automated monitoring station. We had landed on the further most landing pad, on top of a small hill which allowed me to look over the valley below. There wasn’t much to see, except forest and over in the distance the generator dish that kept the Battle station’s shield in place. I could hear scattered shots of blaster fire off in the distance. The fighting had begun. I sighed as I stood up. The sensation that I had been here before nagged at the edge of my mind and I couldn’t shake it but I could not place it either.

“There is supposed to be a big space battle, do you mind if I turn on the comm to hear the chatter?” I asked.

Neither men objected, nor, as I had hoped did they follow me into the shuttle. I was reasonably sure that Egann, the one who had piloted us down and put the lock code on the console had no idea of my pilot and slicer skills. He wasn’t worried about me trying to take off without them because he was certain I couldn’t. It made me smile when people underestimated me.

Once in the cockpit I dug out my satchel from under the pilot’s seat and slung it over my shoulder. I also took a few minutes to get a look at what kind of land lock I was dealing with. I smiled at the simplicity of it but left it in place. I didn’t want to give either of the two men a reason to distrust me or want to either lock me up in a cabin or secure me somehow. Undoing Egann’s work would take only a few minutes once I had dealt with the two of them. I turned on the comm to listen to the chatter, loud enough that the two officers could hear it from outside. There was surprisingly little being said. It was as if the entire fleet were holding its breath waiting for a signal, the Emperor’s signal. His plan was to give the rebels enough rope to hang themselves then pull the noose even tighter laughing as he did so.

I desperately wanted to reach Lord Vader but even calm and clear headed I could not break through his silence. He knew I was there, reaching out to him but he was busy, his mind was elsewhere. There was nothing else to do except wait. I just did not know what I was waiting for. After a few minutes I went back outside, with the wrap slung about my shoulders my satchel was hidden. Both men glanced at me, they were bored, if they noticed anything different about me they didn’t mark it as unusual.

I went back to sitting on the ramp.

“So, you hear anything?” Egann asked.

I shook my head. “The comm is quiet. I guess the Emperor ordered radio silence.” I replied.

“Gonna be a slaughter for the rebs!” Sijac snorted. “Good thing too!”

I simply nodded. Each death was like a pinprick on my soul, I was glad I wasn’t close enough to feel it or see it happen. Our heads turned when blaster fire sounded closer now. I could hear shouting and the sounds of AT STs and AT ATs tromping about the forest below. There were screams not all of them human. I shivered and pulled my wrap closer about my shoulders.

In my lessons with Master Kjestyll we had often discussed fighting and battle techniques. One of the questions that had been first and foremost on my mind was timing. How did one know when the time was right to strike? I had asked.

“Some people never know, they do not tend to live long.” He had replied, “But others, like you have an instinct. You listen to your inner voice and you simply know. It is a moment when everything aligns and you see the path before you clearly, you see the moment to act. It is then you either do or do not. In that singular point in time and space all is decided, life or death. You will know.” He had reassured, then added with a sly grin, “Or you will die. Either way, the choice is made and the outcome known. It is the waiting that drives men mad.”

I didn’t mind the waiting part as much as I probably should have. I had refilled my cup on the way out the shuttle and for all appearances seemed calm, content to sit and sip tea while all around us a battle waged. It was very surreal. I knew that Egann did not mind being here with me too much, but his companion, who was impatient and angry, itched to be in the thick of things and resented the task he had been given of watching over a stupid girl. I ignored him and spoke to Egann instead, engaging him in light conversation, asking about his life. Most people are only too happy to talk about themselves and he was no exception. In the half an hour that we sat there I learned he had a wife and two daughters. That he enjoyed his job and was content to make his way slowly through the ranks until he retired. He had trained as a TIE pilot but his eyesight was not perfect and so he had been placed elsewhere.

Through him and Sijac’s interruptions I learned enough to know who I needed to take out first now all I needed was the perfect moment in time. It came when the shield generator blew up, the explosion rocking the ground around us. None of us had been expecting this but I took advantage of it and slipped my lightsaber from my satchel. I would only get one chance so it had to be perfect. As the fighting in the distance drew closer, both of the men, sent to watch over me, forgot I was there and had turned their attentions to the forest.

“We should go down and see what’s going on!” Sijac said.

“And do what?” Egann had asked.

I got up quietly and walked to where they stood, at the edge of the landing pad trying to se the battle below. They didn’t notice me move, Master Kjestyll had trained me well. I struck Sijac first, hitting him hard at the base of the skull with the butt of my lightsaber. I heard bone crack and I wasn’t sure if I had actually killed him but I didn’t have time to see because Egann had turned around, whipped out his blaster and had it trained on me. What stopped him from simply shooting first and asking questions later I will never know, but in that split second hesitation he had lost. In the seconds between his hesitation and then action, I ignited the lightsaber and deflected the blaster bolt that came at me back to him without even thinking about it. It hit him squarely on the right shoulder and he went down in agony. It was almost too easy. I stood over him and put my foot on his chest.

“You have a family; do you think they want to see you dead?” I asked as I pointed the lightsaber’s tip near Egann’s throat. He gritted his teeth against the pain of the blaster burn and shook his head. He didn’t need to be told to toss away his gun.

“I’m leaving now.” I told Egann. “I expect that eventually someone will find you both or you can go and get help, but the rebels blew up the Death Star’s shield generator so some part of the plan to trap them has gone very wrong. If I were you I’d start thinking up a story, one that uses the word rebel rather than little girl.”

“Who are you?” Egann asked.

I just smiled. “Lord Vader’s personal assistant.”

He gave me a look of utter disbelief and grunted in pain. The blaster burn to his shoulder was bad but not life threatening. I reached over and, as my uncle had once shown me, put pressure on a certain spot on his neck.

“Wha…?” Egann began but his eyes rolled backwards into his head before he could ask his question and he lost consciousness. I reasoned it was better to have him unconcious than to leave him lying in pain and this way I didn’t have to worry about him trying to stop me while I undid his handy work.

I bent down to Sijac’s side and touched my fingers to his neck, there was a pulse. Some small part of me was grateful I had not killed but another part of me, the part that was still angry and wanted revenge, wasn’t. I didn’t need to kill, I just needed to get away.

I went inside the Sigiri, hitting the ramp switch to close and made my way to the cockpit. If Egann had thought his lock out would stop me he was wrong. In a matter of moments I had helm control and as the engines began to whine in warm up I strapped myself in. Though it only took a few minutes before I was lifting the shuttle off the landing pad, it felt like an eternity. I flew away from where the bulk of the fighting seemed to be taking place and set the ship’s shields to maximum. The last thing I wanted was to be blown out of the sky by stray fire, enemy or friendly. I set course for the Death Star.

Darth Vader had to be warned about the Emperor’s treachery and since I could not reach him through our usual, unconventional communication channels I would go the conventional route and show up in person.

As I began to clear the moon’s surface, sweeping low over the beta command post I could see the flashes of battle being fought on the ground below. I set my system and adjusted the instrument panel so that I could see the battle which h was being waged in the space above me as well. It was strangely contained. The rebellion had moved in close to where the fleet was stationed and the dog fighting was tight between x-wings and TIEs. I frowned when I realised that none of the command ships were firing at all but when a sudden burst of brilliant green light shot from the battle station I understood why. They did not need to fire their weapons; the Death Star would do that for them. I was still too far away to see any live details, but the blips of light that vanished on my screen as ships exploded caught my breath and made me queasy.

Despite her fast engines and all my extra tinkering, no prayers or wishing would make the Sigiri faster than she was, trying gain altitude and break from the clutches of the moon’s gravitational pull. She rattled and shook as she flew through the upper atmosphere and only when a sudden silence engulfed me did I know that I was flying free in space. When I saw the battle and how uneven it was, even from as far away as I was, I gasped. The Emperor’s plan was a bold one and I shivered involuntarily. He had not meant to simply beat the rebellion at their own game he meant to wipe them all out. I caught my breath and fought to stay calm. I needed to reach Lord Vader and warn him. I opened my self up to the force, feeling its strange warmth flow through me, around me and in its wake I felt Lord Vader’s presence, mingled with that of the Emperor’s and a third touch which I could only assume was Luke Skywalker’s. It was a strange thing to feel their presence and know that up on that terrible unfinished ball of destruction someone’s life hung in the balance. I mentally called to Lord Vader but either I was just too far away to be heard or he was deliberately blocking me.

All around I felt conflict and agony. As I drew closer I began to see the shape of things and I felt that shift in the force again, this time not so subtle. I also felt surprise ripple through me but the surprise was not my own. I didn’t understand it but I knew urgency when I felt it and cursed the fact that no matter how hard I pushed her, the Sigiri was not going to be any faster.

It has been said that a single misstep can change the fate of a man from fortuitous to disastrous and so it was in this instance. Even though I did not see what happened, I sensed it. A great wave of sorrow washed over me and something else, anger hatred and a sudden release of fear. There was an astonishing shift in power as though a great spring which had been pushed as tightly as it could go had suddenly snapped back shattering everything in its path as it did so. Something in the force broke. I clutched at my chest and gasped at the pain of it, an invisible shockwave spun out all around us with the battle station at its epicentre. Something had happened, something in the force had shattered, something that would change the face of the Empire forever. The terrible ever present power of the Emperor had suddenly vanished.

I had to force myself to take a deep breath, willing my nerves to be steady. Even at my ship's top speed I was too far away from the battle station to make any difference so when the Executor plunged into the battle station I was dumbfounded by the sight of it. Still heading toward the Death Star some part of my shocked brain registered what I was seeing and I changed course. At that very moment I felt a presence touch my mind.

Lord Vader. I whispered both out loud and in my head.

I had never felt him so strongly before and something had changed. There was no more anger.

Go! He said telepathically. Go now!

My Lord, it’s a trap… the Emperor…

Too late for warnings now, girl. His words echoed in my head, sounding strange almost calm.

My lord, I can help, I am coming!

I felt his smile even from such a distance, I felt it. I release you from my service, Merlyn Gabriel; now go before you also die here, go! His voice in my head was full of peace but before I could say anything back to him I felt him sever the tie that had bound us for over four years.

I felt his life force ebb and then vanish. In that moment I understood he was dead but I could not comprehend it. There was a terrible tearing of my soul, a physical pain that hurt as nothing else ever had. I know I screamed in denial but my voice was drowned as the comm channel exploded with frantic voices screaming that the battle station was about to explode. Rebels and Imperials alike scrambled to clear the immediate area and I was no exception.

I swung the shuttle around, heading away from the Death Star so that when it blew up I was mostly ready for it and half the calculations for a hyperspace jump had already been computed. The blast and the light from the explosion were beyond anything I had ever seen, but I didn’t feel that. What I felt was death, the Emperor’s, Lord Vader’s and a part of my soul. The Sigiri lurched and rocked violently, if I had not been strapped in, I would have been flung across the cockpit. My instrument panel went wild and alarms screamed at me. Years of training took over and I numbly went through the motions to fix the problems and sort out the damage the explosion’s shock wave had done to my ship. As fast as I could, I got out of the planet’s gravity well and hit the hyperspace jump switch. I had no idea where I was headed I only knew I had to leave.

Go! Lord Vader had said. It was the last order he would ever give me and because there was nothing else for me to do, I obeyed him one final time.

The Wrong Side of Right 9

The room, although huge felt claustrophobic to me. I shivered. I knew or felt that Lord Vader had been here recently. I opened up my senses and searched for him but all that lingered was a vague ripple of his presence along with someone else and nothing more. I took a deep, steadying breath and walked from the turbo lift to where the stairs which led up to where the Emperor was seated. His throne was very much like the one he had in the Imperial palace and it seemed to swallow him whole.

“Yes, my apprentice was here, child. I see your talents are growing stronger.” He murmured but his voice sounded too loud in the darkness. I tried to shut out the sensation of spiders crawling across my brain but I couldn’t. He was far too powerful for that. I shivered and surrendered to his force touch. When I reached the bottom of the steps I genuflected and bowed my head, waiting for his permission to move, to look up. I felt rather than saw his smile. He let me wait for what seemed a very long time before he told me to rise.

“You wished to see me your Excellency?” I asked as I stood, my voice sounded small and child like in the vast room.

“Yes.” He said. “So tell me, what do you think of this new battle station?”

I shifted my stance and placed my hands behind my back. “It’s very … big, your Highness.”

He laughed. He actually threw back his head and laughed. I shuddered. “Yes, child it is, but that is merely a description of how it looks, I asked you what you thought of it.”

“I don’t know what to think.” I told him quietly. “It’s designed for massive amounts of destruction. It could annihilate a planet in the blink of an eye. It scares me to death. That’s how I feel about it.” I was angry without any real reason. This room, this place was making me edgy and nervous.

“And so it should, child.” He said satisfied. “Come, I wish you to see this.” His hand waved at me to come forward. As if pulled by some invisible rope I climbed the steps until I was standing near him, near the throne.

“Look out of the window what do you see?” He asked, waving his hand vaguely in the direction of the large viewport.

I did as he asked. “The fleet, stars…space.” I said. “But people are going to die out there aren’t they?”

He nodded and sat back against the throne, melding once more into the shadows. “You have witnessed space battles before have you not?” He asked.

I turned to look at him, the cowl of his cloak hid most of his face but his eyes seemed to glow with a light of their own. They frightened me. “I have, Excellency.”

“And you feel them do you not? You feel the deaths?”

I swallowed and nodded.

“Lord Vader should have taken better care with you.” He said softly, “For that matter, perhaps so should I. You have many talents you have kept well hidden from us, from me.”

I looked away. I wondered how much deeper he would dig into my soul. You have a strong, stubborn will which amuses my master but make no mistake you will be broken and then you will be his obedient and compliant servant. And what is more, you will be powerless to stop it from happening. Lord Vader’s words echoed through my mind. I wondered what it was the Emperor wanted of me but now I was scared to ask. I used the quiet moments to find my center, to breathe and find strength.

“Come closer child.” He beckoned. I did as he asked and came to stand before him.

“Sit.” He said, motioning to the space on the floor at his feet.

I moved as though in a dream, doing as he commanded without thinking about it. I sank to the cold stone floor, one knee tucked under the other which was pressed close to my chest. Without even realising it I was echoing the position of the little statue he had allowed me to see. I watched as he pushed a button on the armrest of his throne, a small compartment opened up and he withdrew something from it. In the dim light I saw the glint of silver, a slender cylindrical object. I knew what it was right away and I looked up at him puzzled, I had already read a lightsaber for him once and I couldn’t tell if this was the same one as before.

“You did so well with the last one Lord Vader brought me…,” The Emperor purred as his fingertips caressed the lightsaber as though he were stroking a kitten, “I thought I would share this one with you as well.”

I could feel my pulse quicken and the knot in my gut tighten as fear shot through me. I knew without asking what he wanted just as I knew this was not the same weapon he had handed me after Bespin on Wayland, deep in the mountain complex. I held my breath without realising it. When he leaned forward to hand it to me, I hesitated, shrinking back from him. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a flash of red, a Royal Guardsman had shifted ever so slightly ready to make certain that I obeyed. Palpatine made an almost imperceptible gesture with his free hand and the guard sank back into the shadows.

“The young lady knows her place; she will do as she is told.” The Emperor said in a quiet voice as hard as durasteel.

I shut my eyes tightly for a second, drew a deep breath then looked up into his face. I had been trained to get past this fear, Master Kjestyll’s words echoed in my head almost as if he were at my side. I gave a slight nod and the Emperor’s eyes seemed to glow. I did not like what I saw in the expression on his face, glee, satisfaction, and triumph. It reminded me so sharply of Venthan Chassu’s last painting that I had to look twice at the throne to make sure it was not made from bones.

“No disobedience, child. You work for me.” His reprimand was sharp edged and left a bitter taste in my mouth.

When I reached out to him my fingers were trembling visibly. With a soft chuckle he placed the weapon into my outstretched hand.

“Tell me what you see,” He commanded, “As you see it. I know you can do this now. Do not hold anything back as you did the last time.”

I bit my lip. How he had known I had not spoken of every detail was beyond me. I was certain the Emperor could not read minds but he always seemed to know, his ability to read people was uncanny. I nodded and held the lightsaber in both hands tightly, opening myself up to its memories.

At first I wasn’t sure what to think. These memories were new, just like the weapon. I watched them unfold, like the way Thrawn undressed me, slowly, carefully, bit by bit. I watched as Luke put the weapon together, and then as he tried it out, feeling his trepidation then triumph and relief. I saw as he made his plans to get back his friend, to rescue Han Solo, slipping the weapon into the little R2 unit. The memories jolt forward to a battle on Jabba’s sail barge. Jumbled, chaotic. I saw flashes of imagery, Boba Fett falling into the pit of Carkoon. I know I gasped out loud. Boba Fett was part of my life and being fed to the Sarlacc was one of Jabba’s favourite punishments but Fett’s fall was an accident. I gasped for breath as the fight continued until the sail barge was destroyed taking Jabba with it. After that were only snippets, faces and a space journey to a planet I had never seen before. There was a terrible sense of sorrow then. Luke had lost someone he had loved and admired but I couldn’t tell who it was. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks as I spoke of what I was seeing out loud to the Emperor. He was right, I had learned some measure of control and despite the overwhelming sensations that accompanied the memories I could describe them almost as they unfolded in my mind. It was like describing a holo-drama to a blind man.

I saw the journey to Endor, vague flashes mostly of fear of getting caught, worry about his friends. Something in Luke had changed from brash young boy to thoughtful young man, bound and determined to right a wrong. He knew that Lord Vader was his father and had accepted it, more or less. He had also known that Lord Vader had sensed his presence. I’m endangering the mission, he had said, I shouldn’t have come… but he had come anyway because he believed he could turn his father back towards the light, that somewhere deep inside Lord Vader’s soul there was still good, and because it was his destiny which he could no more back away from it than I could let go of his lightsaber. I took a breath and gathered my thoughts trying to sort out the jumble in my mind. What happened next was confusing, small furry creatures, the Ewoks, had taken them hostage. The images were unclear because Luke’s own mind had been on something else, something more serious, more frightening, confronting Darth Vader. I felt it, the moment Luke decided to give himself up and perhaps save his friends. His naïveté and his arrogance were astonishing to me. Even as I said this out loud I heard the Emperor’s soft reply.

“That was the failing of all the Jedi.” He said. “What else do you see?”

Lord Vader had known. He had felt Luke’s presence and there had been no surprise when the young man had shown up, turning himself into the guard at the Alpha base on the Sanctuary Moon. For the first time Father and son faced each other in a quiet sort of calm. When the guard had handed Lord Vader Luke’s lightsaber I felt the flash of pride as sharply as though I had been struck across the face. Your skills are complete, you are as powerful as the Emperor has foreseen… Lord Vader had said when he had ignited the weapon. It shone with a brilliant green light. For a moment the two men regarded one another, Luke looking for the good in the man he stood before, the father he had never known but had yearned for and Lord Vader contemplating the past, watching, his own emotions in turmoil, as the guards had taken Luke away for the final confrontation. Dawn was slowly beginning to break. For a few moments Lord Vader was torn and then he moved, ready to present his son to the Emperor on the Death Star. His loyalties decided, his path chosen, his downfall complete.

I sat on the floor, my breathing coming to me in short gasps, the lightsaber still clasped in both of my hands. I looked up at the Emperor to tell him I was done when suddenly a new set of memories flashed through me making me whimper. Lord Vader had passed Luke’s weapon to the Emperor. I had not expected to see this and what came next shook me to the core. I did not speak the memories that came to me, short and crystal clear. When they were finished I trembled violently but not out of fear, out of anger.

I scrambled to my feet suddenly. I felt the Royal Guardsmen move, a subtle shift in stance. I had a weapon in my hands and I was unpredictable. The Emperor laughed softly. He knew exactly what I had seen; he knew because this was what he had truly wanted me to see. I backed away from him, my knuckles white from gripping Luke’s lightsaber so hard.

“Yes.” He said, nodding. The word came out as a long slow hissing caress.

“How could you?” I asked so quietly I wasn’t sure I had spoken the words out loud.

“It is the way of things, young Merlyn, surely you must understand that.” He explained to me the way a father would explain to a small child that fire burns.

“You can’t…! Not after all he has done for you; after all you have done to him!” I shouted. The guards behind me tensed, shifted their stance and readied their weapons.

The Emperor laughed. “Anakin Skywalker would have been the most powerful sith in the galaxy had he not let his pride, his fury better him. He lost power when he lost his limbs, he is imperfect.” Palpatine hissed, leaning forward to emphasise his words. “His son is stronger, almost whole and primed to take his father’s place. Lord Vader knows this to be true.”

That was a lie. Lord Vader did not expect this betrayal. Lord Vader thought the object of this game was to turn Luke so that he might serve them both. Vader had no idea that the Emperor was planning to replace him.

“No!” I screamed defiant, angry. This was so unfair that I had no words to express what I felt.

Palpatine sat back in his throne and laughed. “Now you see the way of things, little one. Oh I have such plans for you.” His voice was a sigh, “Your talents make you valuable, your gift of psychometry is so rare. Honed to perfection, what a weapon you will be, reader of things, keeper of secrets….”

“I will never work for you, ever!” I spat out defiantly.

The Emperor chuckled softly. “Oh I think that you will. I think that you would not want to see your adoptive family hurt because you refuse to do as I ask.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You leave my family alone they have done nothing to you!”

His hand waved in a dismissive manner. “On the contrary my dear, shall I reveal your father’s controversial smuggler’s past to you? Tell you of some of his less appealing qualities? He should have been arrested and executed long ago for the crimes he has committed and continues to commit against this Empire. And do not think I do not know about the Tze’yusha’Jin Akosh, his actions during the clone wars alone merit my wrath. If you wish to protect them you will serve me.”

“So you use my love for my family just as you used Vader’s love for Padmé.” My voice was low and cold. Hatred for this man who sat before me coursed through my veins.

“Vader’s passion made him easily pliable but he has become old, useless to me. He defies me to suit his own needs. His son will replace him as my apprentice and stand at my side as I bring order to this galaxy and crush this ridiculous rebellion once and for all! You will comply because you do not wish to see the people you care for hurt. You are not quite as easily manipulated as I had hoped but I do believe you can be coerced and perhaps this will actually have the desired effect.” His words were a snarl competing with my anger which buzzed in my brain like angry hornets. I saw his hand twitch and felt the Guardsman closest to me move. “You may go now, we will speak later. I have much for you to do and you have much to learn about being in my service, girl, first of all, obedience and compliance. I shall enjoy watching you take these lessons to heart.”

I didn’t think then, I simply acted out of rage, out of desperation and whirled about igniting the weapon in my hand. Green flashed through the air as I swung out at the guardsman behind me but before I could even strike the lightsaber was swept from my hands by Palpatine’s force pull. His laughter filled the room.

“Yes, your anger is a powerful thing. How your Jedi mother would weep to see her daughter turning to the dark side. In time you will make a fine addition to my stable, but not yet, I think. You still have too much defiance but we will break you of that when the time is right….” He told me, patting the weapon he now held in his hands.

I was so angry I was shaking. Somewhere inside of my head a voice I knew from dreams was shouting at me to calm down, to think but I ignored it. Fury raged through me, a blinding storm of terrible emotion that would eat my soul whole if I let it. “I hate you.” I hissed and I meant it.

“Yes, I know,” He replied almost tenderly, “And I will use that emotion wisely, I can assure you.”

“He will never forgive you for this.” I hissed through clenched teeth. Neither will I, I thought.

“His forgiveness is not sought nor will it matter. He will be dead and I will have a new apprentice at my side, a more powerful apprentice.” He replied softly.

Bereft of words I simply shook my head slowly. I had not expected this; I had not thought him capable of such betrayal. As deeply as I loathed him in that moment a tiny part of me deep inside sensed he was wrong but I was too stunned, too angry to voice it. He just smiled at me then, almost lovingly, the way a master will smile at a trained pet which has finally learnt the lesson being taught.

“Escort Miss Gabriel to her shuttle, see that she arrives safely at the beta landing pad. She is of value to me, keep her from harm… until it is over.” Palpatine said as two uniformed guards stepped out of the shadows. They both gave curt precise military bows and the Royal Guard who had come up behind me gasped my arm tightly.

I have never liked being taken by force and the Royal Guard’s touch shoved me over the edge. I struggled wildly, screaming at the Emperor, berating him for what he was about to do, hating him for the betrayal of Lord Vader, hating him for what I knew he wanted to do to me. I was beside myself with fury and utterly out of control. I wondered briefly if this is what it felt like to go mad. Somewhere in the bottom of the darkness a gentle voice pleaded with me to find calm, to back down and while part of me ignored this voice another part listened. Slowly I came back to some semblance of sanity. The Guardsman who held me was very strong and I could feel his fingers digging into the flesh of my arm but the pain helped to clear my head. No matter how hard I struggled I knew I didn’t stand a chance against these men or the Emperor and there was nothing I could to do prevent what came next but it didn’t stop me from railing against it.

I was all but dragged to a second turbo lift, struggling all the way. I could feel Lord Vader’s presence so close it was as if he were standing next to me but I could not reach out to him with the force, there was something blocking me, he was shutting me out. It’s a trap! I screamed at him with my mind but my mental warning fell on deaf ears. In the scope of his world I was no longer important, all that mattered to Lord Vader was turning his son and pleasing his Master. For the first time in a very long time I felt very small and very alone. It was only the vague hint of Qui Gon Jinn’s ghostly presence in my mind that brought me back from the brink of utter despair. I stopped struggling then and the Guardsman released my arm when we reached the docking bay where my shuttle was.

The two officers followed me onto the Sigiri. I was shoved into the co pilot’s chair, a blaster held tightly to my head by the shorter of the two men while the other piloted the shuttle off the Battle Station to the beta site on the Endor moon. Neither of them spoke a word to me. I could feel their disdain and dislike of me coming off in waves. Had it not been for the Emperor’s words to take care that I was not harmed, I wasn’t at all certain what else they would have done to me. I had seen looks like they gave me before and it made my skin crawl. As it was they did nothing except maintain guard. The trip took no more than thirty minutes and in that time I had formulated my plan. I drew a deep shuddering breath and began the process of calming down to find my center. Be the stillness you seek…. I would need all of my wits about me if what I wanted to do when we landed was going to work.

The Wrong Side of Right 8

I stood at the window in my office on board the Executor and gazed out at the planet we were orbiting. Endor was a huge gas giant with nine satellites including the life sustaining forested moon, known as the Sanctuary Moon because it had once been a protected nature reserve during the time of the Galactic Republic. During the rule of the Empire the Sanctuary Moon had been surveyed many times with mixed results.

The moon itself was home to several indigenous species of sentient life including Ewoks, yuzzums and Duloks. While the reports had down played any dangers any of these species posed I had heard rumours that on one expedition the Ewoks had managed to run circles around the first scouting party that had been sent down to explore the moon yet there had been nothing noted about this in the official reports. It would not be the first time that Imperial surveys had completely discounted the intelligence of the local species and I was certain it would not be the last.

Thrawn often spoke of the arrogance rampant in the Empire leading to the silly belief that humans were far superior to all other sentient species in the galaxy. One of these days this misguided belief will come back to haunt the Empire, believe me. It is very unwise to underestimate a species simply because they are physically and mentally different. He had said and I guessed he aught to know as he had experienced this first hand, being alien himself.

Still, as I had looked at the image of the furry little creatures called ewoks I could see how people, particularly Imperial men would be quick to dismiss them as harmless. They reminded me of small bears and they were more cute than threatening. Still, visitors to Tatooine often thought that wamp-rats were cute in their own way and soon found out the hard way this was as far from the truth as possible.

From where I stood I could also see the new battle station which was still under construction. I had not been allowed to accompany Lord Vader when ever he went over to converse with the Emperor so I had no idea just how far along the construction actually was. I found it strange that no one would even speak about it and when I had asked Lord Vader about all the secrecy he had been less than kind in his answer so I left it alone. In the end, I didn’t actually care.

Two days after I arrived, the rest of the fleet began to amass and by then I was busy enough with work for Lord Vader that it didn’t occur to me to ask questions. The Executor was the command ship for the fleet so every operation was run from her bridge. I lost count of the number of drills that occurred and eventually learned to tune out the ear splitting alarm that shattered the peace and quiet. I was pretty certain that what ever the rebels were preparing for it wasn’t this and they would be outnumbered and out gunned beyond their wildest dreams.

It was a good thing that I had brought my lightsaber because in the small pockets of down time, in between the drills and the work Lord Vader had decided that I was the perfect distraction. Despite the fact that his battle droids were an infinitely better challenge than I was, he seemed to enjoy sparring with a live being and I know he enjoyed teaching even though he would never in a thousand years admit to that. For my part I was also grateful for the distraction. If I was trying to concentrate on not losing any limbs and keeping out of the way of his evil little remotes I was not thinking about the up and coming carnage that was sure to happen. It was going to be a slaughter if it worked out the way the Emperor had planned it. The waiting drove me mad. When it ended it was almost a relief.

We were in the middle of a lesson when Lord Vader was suddenly summoned to the bridge. I knew that this was the beginning, the signal he had also been waiting for, but there was something else. He had felt something, a ripple in the force. I had felt it too. Like a slight caress to the back of my neck, making all the hair on my arms stand on end.

“What was tha…?” I started to ask.

“My son.” He spoke with a quiet hush. This was what he had been waiting for even though he had never voiced it.

“He’s here?” I asked. It seemed so surreal to me that this Luke Skywalker would deliberately walk into a situation that would surely mean his death.

Lord Vader suddenly looked at me as though seeing me for the first time. I could have sworn he was smiling. “Of course.” There was such pride in his voice that I suddenly hated Luke Skywalker but I bit it down.

He didn’t say anything else and swept out of the room as though I no longer existed. With nothing else to do and the desire to continue my own workout gone I went back to my quarters, showered and then wandered down to see if Jorae was working.

I lounged in the extra seat beside Jorae who was busy at his work station. I had brought him a cup of stimcaf and his grin had been worth it.

“So what’s going on?” I asked impatient for news, bored and frustrated all at the same time.

He took off his head set, sipped his ‘caf and drew a deep breath. “Well if I understand it right they just let a shuttle go through the blockade to the moon.”

I made a face. “That’s news?”

He nodded. “Yeah because they were using a really old pass code, probably one of the ones the Emperor let slip. We think it’s them.” He said dropping his voice to a low whisper.

I arched an eye brow doing a good Thrawn imitation and said, “Them?”

Jorae grinned. “You know, rebels.” He said. “Probably the scouting party, you know, come to check out the lay of the land and report back to their control.”

“You’ve been watching too many holo war dramas!” I told him with a laugh.

“Do you think they know this is a trap?” Jorae asked looking at me.

I shook my head. “No, I am fairly sure they don’t. I am fairly certain they have no idea what is waiting for them.”

He looked at me then. “You sound like you feel sorry for them!” He could not keep the incredulity out of his voice.

“A little. It will be a slaughter. A lot of people are going to die and for what?”

He shrugged. “They are the ones stupid enough to want to try and take down the government and the Emperor.” He said.

I nodded. “I know but it doesn’t change the fact that a lot of people are going to die.” I said, “That includes a lot of Imperial pilots and ground troops.”

Jorae made a face. “Boy, you sure know how to ruin the mood, don’t you.” He said and slipped his headset back on. “I gotta get back to work, you should go and get some sleep or something, you look like hell.”

He was right and I could not disagree with him. “Yeah, sleep sounds like a good thing.” I actually could not recall the last time I had a good night’s sleep. My nights had been filled with strange dreams full of mixed messages I could not decipher and nightmares that had me waking up screaming blue murder. The images were so jumbled that upon waking I usually had no clear memory of what I had dreamt but the lingering fear of something awful about to happen remained.

“I’ll ping you if something happens.” He said cheerfully as I got up to leave.

“Thanks.” I said and gave him a little wave, leaving him to his work.

As I wandered through the corridors of the Executor I was clear that the tension level on the ship had risen up several notches. Everyone was waiting and it was driving me crazy. Nothing seemed to ease it. I could have exercised until I dropped from exhaustion and still I would have felt the stress.

Restless and frustrated I resorted to the one thing I knew would keep my mind occupied. I went down into the hanger bay where the shuttles were docked and asked the deck officer if he minded if I worked on the Sigiri which had been unofficially dubbed my ship because I used it so much.

“Be my guest, Miss Gabriel.” He said. Preoccupied with other problems the last thing he wanted was to deal with me whining at him, which I would have given half a chance.

I often spent time tinkering with the Sigiri’s engines and ship board systems. It was the one place I felt truly at ease and out of the way. When Lord Vader was busy and did not need my services, there wasn’t much else for me to do on board the Executor. So one day, in the throes of absolute boredom, I had begged the deck officer on duty at the time to give me some mechanic work. I was certified and had papers so it wasn’t as if I wasn’t actually qualified to touch a ship’s engine. It had taken some convincing and only when I had complained about it all enough to Lord Vader had I actually been granted clearance to go into the pits and work. I didn’t get to do it very often but when I could it was a relief. No matter what else was going on in the Empire, ships engines always needed looking after.

I had started seriously looking after the Sigiri after the trip with Thrawn. This had not gone unnoticed by Lord Vader who essentially had the shuttle signed off to me exclusively unless no other was available. I had been so delighted by this I had almost hugged him, but thankfully had managed to restrain myself from this impulse at the last minute. The bad thing about this arrangement was that because the Sigiri wasn’t really mine, other people used her when I was not around which was often enough. The good thing about this was that afterwards there was always something for me to do because despite of the fact that the Empire hired good mechanics, the shuttles were the least cared for. It was the TIEs and the rest of the fleet’s ships that got the brunt of mechanical attention. Only the Emperor’s and Lord Vader’s personal shuttle received such good care, the rest were given a cursory once over to make sure things were working and that was that.

I changed into the coveralls I kept on board the shuttle and vanished into the engine room. As I had feared the last person to use Sigiri had left a mess and before long I was cheerfully up to my elbows in hydraulic fluid and engine bits.

Time always passed differently when I was working on engines. It seemed that while the rest of the galaxy continued on at it’s own pace, my world sped up. I could spend hours tinkering on a ship and never notice how late it had gotten. I could not count the number of times that my father or Jyrki had had to almost physically haul me away to eat supper or go to bed because time had just spun away from me.

By the time I was satisfied that the Sigiri was in peak running order again, nearly six hours had passed and I was actually exhausted. It struck me as odd, when I cleaned off the grime in the shower that fixing engines would tire me out even more so than a stressful physical workout with Lord Vader but I didn’t question it. With a sigh of relief I slipped into bed and fell asleep. If only my dreams were as peaceful as working on a ship’s engines were.

Qui Gon Jinn stood at my side. We were both standing on a hill with a landing pad someplace I had never been before. It was not a world I recognized but this was a dream so that did not mean very much.

“There will be much change.” He said.

“Change?”

“All things change in their time, young Merlyn.” He said gently.

“Where are we?” I asked changing the subject.

“At the beginning. At the end.” He replied cryptically.

“That is not helpful!”

He laughed. “You always want the straight answers where there are none.” His tone of voice was kind, not chiding.

“Why are you here?” I asked, impatience leaking into my voice.

“I see much potential in you but like Anakin you have a wild streak, you will need to watch that. The Darkside is seductive and you are at a turning point.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Be mindful of your emotions. Be mindful of the living force, let it be your guide not your fear or your anger.” He paused for a moment then added, “You cannot go where he is going; you cannot follow in his footsteps.” Qui Gon said gently, laying his hand on my shoulder.

I frowned. “I don’t understand what you are telling me, as usual!” I snapped.

“I can only serve as a guide, nothing more.” He laughed and then drew a deep breath. “Everything is going to change.” He said and then shimmered into nothingness. “Remember all you have learned, it will save your life.”

I shivered as the air suddenly grew cold and the sky dark. I looked up expecting to see storm clouds but instead saw the Executor plunging down towards where I stood. I opened my mouth to scream but no sound came out. Instead I suddenly found myself in an EV suit out in the vacuum of space. It was the strangest sensation and as the stars whirled about me I felt my stomach churn. I knew I was going to be sick if I didn’t get out of the suit but when I tried to move around to catch my tether line I realised there was none and I was free floating in space and there was nothing else around me, no ship, no safety line nothing. I was utterly alone. The panic I felt swelling in my chest was so great I thought for certain the entire galaxy could hear my heart beating. I had no idea what to do and just when I though it could not get any worse a loud alarm started to sound in my helmet. I looked at the gauges on my wrist and saw I was running out of oxygen. When I opened my mouth to scream I realised I could not breathe, the alarm in my helmet sounding louder than anything else I had ever known. As the stars spun around me all I could think of was Thrawn and that I did not want to die.

I woke up nauseated and gasping for breath, soaked in sweat and shivering. The alarm in my dream was the comm by my bed and when I answered it I was anything but polite. The young voice on the other end sounded non-plussed and bored as he told me that I was to take the Sigiri to the Battle Station. The Emperor wished to speak with me.

I wasn’t sure what was worse. The dream I had just had or going to see the Emperor. With a sigh I got out of bed, showered and dressed. I grabbed my satchel with my lightsaber, my ident cards, and a couple of books tucked in it, threw a shawl across my shoulders and made my way to the landing bay. I shivered, despite the warmer clothes I was wearing, as I sat down in the pilot’s chair and started the engine warm up sequence.

I had not been to the Battle station before so the docking procedure was interesting. As I navigated my way around the superstructure I could see where it was still unfinished and under construction, but I was certain this was just for show and that the station itself was more than battle ready. It was an awesome sight. I might have spent longer staring at the technological wonder except traffic control broke into my thoughts requesting clearance codes then giving me my landing instructions.

Once the ship had touched down on the incredibly shiny floor and I had shut the engines down, I slipped my ident cards over my head but left my satchel onboard the shuttle in the cockpit under the pilot’s seat. I didn’t think it was a good idea to visit the Emperor with a lightsaber tucked away on my person. I was so nervous that sandjiggers squirmed in my gut. I had to work hard to calm myself down. I was sure that whatever it was the Emperor wanted from me, it was not good, nothing he did was good. When I walked down the ramp, two stone faced officers were waiting for me. I was a little surprised when they requested to see my identity tags because usually no one bothered but they were not taking any chances.

When I asked what was going on I was given no answer only a filthy look. Once my tags had been cleared I was told to follow them, so I did. I had a terrible sense of foreboding in my gut and the nausea I had experienced in my dream became very real. I had to fight to keep my breathing steady and remain calm. My palms were sweating and cold shivers ran the length of my spine. I wondered if everyone felt this terrible sense of doom when ever they were summoned before the Emperor or if it was just me being paranoid.

To distract me from the sense of impending doom, I concentrated on remembering the way I had come from the docking bay and the land marks along the way. The battle station was indeed huge and full of people as well, most of whom did not even bother to glance up as I passed by. We entered a turbo lift which was so fast I thought that my stomach had fallen out of my belly. When we reached the top and the doors opened I knew a real sense of fear without any reason. At one of the Officer’s insistence I got off first, they followed close behind me.

One of the Royal Guardsmen who was standing at the side of the closed entrance moved slightly and the officer on my left said. “The Emperor will see you now.”

The doorway to the Emperor’s observation chamber opened and I walked into almost darkness. I stood for a few moments while my eyes adjusted. The pause was enough to allow me to see the vastness of the area I was in and take stock of the astonishing view that was being afforded by the huge round picture window.

“Come closer, young Merlyn.” The Emperor’s voice drifted out of the darkness. “I have something I wish you to see.”

The Wrong Side of Right 7

Thrawn sat on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees, his face resting in his hands. I stroked his bare back with my finger tips.

“Are you really alright?” I asked.

He turned his head to glance at me. “Yes, I am just exhausted, sj’iu tekari. This has been a difficult campaign.” He said.

“So he’s finally dead?” I asked, getting up to curl about his back, pressing my cheek against his skin. When I kissed him on the shoulder he reached back and caressed my hair then continued to undress.

“Yes.” His reply sounded so weary it almost broke my heart.

“I am so glad you’re home.” I told him quietly.

I hadn’t seen him in what seemed like forever and even though the boys in the spook room had done their best to let me know what was going on the details were greatly lacking. I got snippets of information mostly with the tag line – he’s alright- tacked on for good measure. Sometimes, when he was actually on planet Lord Vader would tell me more but mainly the time together, which did not involve work, was spent with him teaching me.

It became a pattern of his to roust me out of bed and send for me to meet him at his Coruscant home. Most of the time he would instruct me in methods he had learned from his masters long before the mask and the anger, often we would spar and sometimes we would talk. It was a strange time and there was an odd sense of limbo, of waiting for something to happen. The strange restlessness that had permeated the Imperial Palace seeped its way into daily Coruscant life. Despite his annoying habit of waking me up at odd hours, I didn’t mind, especially since Lord Vader never did this when Thrawn was on planet only when he was away.

Oddly enough, I welcomed Lord Vader’s presence and the peculiar hours he kept didn’t really bother me, I was used to them. If he felt the same for me he never said, he was not a person to speak over how he felt but I got the impression he was happy to have someone to wake up in the small hours of the night, to keep him company. Loneliness comes in many guises, who was I to question this? I suppose it was a compliment that he allowed me such a place in his private life. I knew more about him than almost anyone else, while I could never condone the terrible things he did, I understood, maybe just a little better than most, why he was the way he was. He also understood about fear, about worry for someone else.

Despite the fact that I tried to keep my feelings about Thrawn and what he was doing to myself, Lord Vader knew anyway, how could he not? So he would impart knowledge of Thrawn’s work in small careful nuggets for which I was grateful. He knew things no on eels would tell me. I supposed it served his own purpose to keep me informed and up to date. Worried, I was not much use to him and my work suffered, my studies suffered. Much of the news I heard never made it to public channels so I was glad I had my own resources. Still, when the conflict with Zaarin was finally over I was relieved beyond belief. I knew that Thrawn was on his way back to Coruscant because Lord Vader had let me know.

It had been just past three in the morning when Thrawn had finally returned home. I had not been sleeping well so when the door to the flat opened I had woken up instantly. I had turned on the small side lamp to let him know I was awake and that there was no need for stealth. I had not been prepared for how worn out he looked when he had walked in the bedroom. He had motioned for me not to get out of bed and had begun to undress right away; stripping out of his uniform, stripping away the vestiges of the battle he had been instrumental in winning. I was glad he had returned safely.

“Do you want a cup of tea.” I asked as he got up from the bed, moving away from my embrace to go to the refresher.

“No, but a brandy would not be unwelcome.” He said before he closed the door. “I’ll join you in a few minutes.”

I got up, pulled on a robe and padded, barefoot, to the kitchen. Two glasses of brandy in hand I went into the living room, set the glasses on the table and lit a couple of candles. I could hear when he finished showering and I smiled when he joined me, wearing the long robe I had bought for him to replace the one I had stolen from him, the scent of his damp hair and soap filling the air.

“I suppose you will want to hear all about it then?” He asked touching is glass to mine.

“At least the Daily Digest version.” I replied. “But I don’t really need all the gory details and only if you want to talk about it.”

He nodded and caressed the side of my face gently. “How much do you know?” He asked sipping his drink slowly.

“Well, after Zaarin’s kidnapping attempt failed he vanished and then there were reports that he had begun to rain Imperial facilities, I am guessing he wanted to slow production of the TIE advanced. I heard that the battles were pretty vicious. I also heard there were rebels adding to the mix and that Zaarin actually used an interdictor against you while you were on board the Sceltor. I heard that your ship took heavy damage but everyone I talked with went to great pains to let me know you were okay.”

He smiled. “I see your friends in Intel have been keeping you informed.”

“They said you had come back to the Core but it was a quick turn around.” I told him.

He nodded. “That is true, though I stayed onboard while we were in space dock to supervise the repairs. I did send you a message to let you know that I was alright.”

I smiled at that memory, a bouquet of white Corellian roses mixed with pale blue lilies and tiny bright red poppet-blossoms. “I got it.” He had sent me flowers, much as he had once before letting me know that he was not so easy to kill, still I had been a bit freaked out. “But seeing you alive in person would have been nice.” I added. “I was worried.”

“Duty comes first, tekari.” He chided gently.

I rolled my eyes at him. “I know that.” I said and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

“So do you know that when we returned to go after Zaarin he was trying to destroy the TIE Defender project?”

I nodded. “Yes, but didn’t you get a couple of prototypes out before he destroyed the place?”

“Three in total,” he said, “Which we shipped in separate corvettes to Coruscant but one was stolen by pirates while en route.”

I gave a short, mirthless laugh, “I heard about that, the pirates tried to auction it off to the highest bidder, which turned out to be the Emperor.” I said. “I suppose it’s a good thing the Emperor is so wealthy he can buy back his own technology.” I added. “And didn’t Zaarin have some involvement with the pirates?”

Thrawn drew a deep breath. “Yes. He used everything available to him to try and keep us from finding and using the prototypes. It got very messy.” He said quietly. “I lost an ISD and a lot of good people. Fighting Zaarin was sometimes like fighting a ghost. It was very challenging and sometimes very frustrating.”

“Bet you almost wish I had done away with him when I had the chance!”

He just gave me a hard look and did not dignify my question with an answer “It was a jax and mouse game for a while and most intriguing to do battle against someone with such a keen mind.”

“They announced your promotion, by the way.” I said when he stopped to take a sip of his drink.

“Yes, there was another ceremony done out in the Eva-T system; you know how the Emperor likes things done properly.” He said with a touch of disdain. “However, I felt it was inappropriate given the circumstances.”

“The Emperor could afford to let everyone know I suppose, after all it was official that Zaarin was a traitor and you would probably win.” I did not bother to hid the bitterness I felt.

Thrawn arched an eyebrow at me. “So you figured out Palpatine’s game then? Clever girl.” He said softly.

“He really is evil.”

Thrawn simply shrugged.

“Well at least now I get to call you Grand Admiral for real.” My words made him smile. “So what finally happened?” I asked.

“We attacked his convoys based on information from prisoners, it was mostly a success except when Zaarin ambushed us and we lost the ISD. After this we used missile boats to lure him out of hiding. I suppose he must have begun to feel desperate because it ended up that he stole the corvette with the cloaking device. He thought he could use it to escape but he did not realise there was a major design flaw. When he tried to make the jump into hyperspace the cloak became unstable and exploded. He was killed instantly.”

“Well, I can’t say I am sorry to hear that he is finally dead.”

Thrawn looked at me for a moment. “Nor can I, tekari, nor can I.”

“What about the cloaking technology?”

“Gone. The Emperor decided that it was too unstable to continue with the project for now and he has his mind on other things these days.”

I made a face. “Right, the new battle station and his nefarious plan to trap the rebels.”

“You disagree with this plan?” he asked mildly in that manner which let me know I wasn’t the only one and that he was just interested in knowing why.

“I think it is stupid.” I snapped crossly, echoing Lord Vader’s sentiments. “He’s underestimated the rebels before and look at what happened.”

Thrawn nodded. “He is taking a risk, I agree, but the rebellion’s fleet is limited as is their technology. If the battle station’s weapon is fully operational which is the plan, the rebels won’t stand much of a chance.”

I sighed as I swished the last of my brandy around in the glass. “You said so yourself, the rebels have nothing to lose, they will fight like cornered animals and the Emperor is too sure this plan will work. Lord Vader on the other hand….”

“I know how Vader feels, believe me I have heard plenty about it. He even asked me to speak to the Emperor on the subject, which I tried to do but was told on no certain terms to leave it alone. The Emperor does not like to be told he is wrong and I have done that one too many times it seems.” Thrawn said softly. “I was not part of the planning for this particular trap so I don’t know all the details and I also have my reservations but I cannot argue against the amount fire power the Empire has.”

“As I recall, that is what everyone thought the last time one of these huge battle stations was built and look at what happened to that one!” Vader’s words echoed in my head. I told them that ridiculous weapon was nothing in comparison to the power of the force but they just laughed. Never underestimate the power of the force and never underestimate a force user. He had said.

Thrawn merely nodded and changed the subject. “So, my dear, how have you been?” I knew better than to try and fight him when he did this. If there was more to say about the episode with Zaarin, when he was ready, he would tell me. I had meant what I had said, the details were not important I was just glad Zaarin was dead and Thrawn was home.

“Busy, mostly even though Lord Vader left a week ago to go and over see the lagging construction on the new battle station. He keeps me on my toes with all the stuff he needs done. And when he is in space his schedule is non existent so he wakes me up at the weirdest times to get stuff sorted for him. I am kind of surprised he hasn’t asked me to come out and join him on board the Executor yet, to be honest, not that I mind.” I said. “Oh and I had an interesting run with Mara Jade a few days ago.” I shrugged. “Mostly I just work and that has been insane especially since the death of Xizor, you heard about that right?”

He nodded. “I did, bad news travels faster than light speed. Although I cannot say I am sad to see the back of him. If I understood the story correctly all his plotting was to get revenge for something Lord Vader had done years ago.” He said.

I nodded and filled him in on the details.

“I can understand Xizor’s wrath and I have to say I am impressed by his patience and planning but once again it seems everyone underestimated young Skywalker.”

“Yep and Xizor underestimated Lord Vader. He thought that Vader’s fear of the Emperor’s wrath would keep him safe enough. I wish I could have seen the look on Xizor’s face when he realised that was not the case.”

“Was Vader punished?”

I shook my head. “Not that I know of. I personally think the Emperor found it all very amusing and couldn’t really care a wamp rat’s ass if Xizor lived or died. I think he just enjoy baiting Lord Vader.”

“That guess is probably more truth than any of us will know.” Thrawn replied. “What happened with Mara Jade?”

“Oh, well I was in the training room trying to work on a particular move Lord Vader was teaching me when she came in. I haven’t seen her around much to be honest. I just figured she was off saving the galaxy from evil doers or something along those lines so I was kind of surprised. Anyway, she didn’t waste much time in getting to the point and wanted to know what working as a dancer for Jabba the Hutt was like.”

I smiled at the reaction on Thrawn’s face. “Really?”

I nodded. “It was a little odd, but since she asked I told her what I knew. Then she started asking me about the palace and the people who worked there and dancing there. Her questions were pretty pointed so I knew she was on a fact finding mission. I haven’t worked there in a while but things with Jabba don’t change a lot. I am pretty sure it’s same old same old, if you know what I mean.”

He nodded. “Do you know what she needed the information for?”

“No. She likes to gather intel not give it out. Although, I did get the distinct impression that asking me had not exactly been her idea. I suspect the Emperor had a hand in that and he knows well enough where I worked before I came here.” I replied. “It could mean anything from the Emperor wanting to blow up Jabba’s palace and sending her to do it or she’s fed up with working for the Empire and wants to try her hand at another profession. I really don’t know. She didn’t lie to me about anything but she didn’t give much away either but what ever she is doing it made her a little nervous so it must be big.” I shrugged. “I wasn’t going to press her either because to be honest, Za’ar, I just don’t care. She is just another one of the Emperor’s pawns and I have no desire to get tangled in her business.”

“That was probably wise, tekari. The Emperor does like to play his games.” Thrawn said with a sigh, quietly, drinking the last of his brandy, setting the empty glass back on the table. “I guess we will know what he was up to when we see how it all plays out.” He said getting to his feet, offering me a hand up.

“So now what?” I asked as he tugged me up out of my seat, wrapped his arms about my waist and pulled me in to hold me tightly. When I looked up into his face I could see the fatigue etched on it. I suppose he read the concern in my eyes because he smiled then and kissed me lightly on the forehead.

“Now, we go to bed.” He said quietly, caressing my face with his beautiful hands. I was not about to argue with him on this at all. I looked at him for a moment and felt my heart suddenly skip. I know he noticed. He could see it in my eyes, the flush on my cheeks, he always noticed. Despite the fact we were both tired, the desire between us blossomed and he smiled that smile. He moved my hair aside to kiss the side of my neck.

“I thought you were tired?” I murmured. I could sense his own waking need. I had tuned into that a very long time ago, and now I could feel it almost before he could.

His hands swept the robe off my body and then grazed up under the shirt top. I gasped.

“I am,” He said. He lifted the top over my head and my bare skin prickled as nothing but air brushed against it.

“I was wearing that.” I whispered.

He gave me a feral smile. “Not anymore.” And before I could argue he swept me up and carried me to the bedroom. “Sometimes, tekari, even I need to lose myself in the good to forget about the bad.” He said as he laid me on the bed. He disrobed and I smiled. His own interest was more than apparent.

“Well, welcome home.” I whispered in his ear when he lay down in the space I made for him as I moved my legs. Any more words spoken were lost in the urgency of his mouth meeting mine and after that the conversation was of a vastly different nature. How I treasured these bedroom discussions.

I was not at all surprised when two days after his return Thrawn told me he had been ordered back to the Unknown Regions to continue the task he had started. Unspoken but implied the Emperor’s command was telling him to stay away from Endor. It also did not surprise me that the day he gave me this news Lord Vader summoned me to join him on board the Executor.

Luckily for me, I had enough time to pack carefully but this time I decided on leaving almost everything I usually dragged with me, including his letters and gifts, behind. Mostly it had been his doing. I had been sitting on the bed in the room that was mine agonizing over what to bring when he had come in to ask if I wanted tea and then just stared at me with that raised eyebrow look.

“Why do you do this every time you get called off world?” He had asked.

“I hate leaving my things behind.”

“They are safer here than anywhere else, tekari.” He had said. “Especially the letters, I will write more, you know.”

I sighed. “I know, it’s just that I just miss you, I miss …well I miss home… and the letters are like having a part of you with me. Great sarlacc that sounds so sappy.” I had said with a shrug, the fact that I caressed the letters which lay on the bed with trembling finger tips had not gone unnoticed.

His expression had softened then and he had sat down beside me on the bed. “Leave these things here, take only what you need. This flat is safe, your treasures are safe. I would not like to know what would happen if these letters should end up in the wrong hands.” He said.

“No one can read them!” I said, “At least most of them anyway, they are in Cheunh.”

He had looked at me then, “Are you willing to take that chance?” his voice soft, dangerous.

He was of course right. “No.” I had said, making a face. It touched him, I think, that I dragged these things around with me every time I went off world. That his letters meant so much to me, of course he had mine hidden away as well. So in the end we were as bad as each other.

“I promise, I’ll write and send books enough to keep that curious mind of your busy.” His finger tips grazed through my hair. “I doubt you’ll be away for that long anyway. After all Coruscant is the seat of power and once this latest battle is over with hopefully there will be some semblance of peace. You won’t be gone long enough to miss me.” He had said with a smile. He had meant his words to be reassuring but they sent a shiver down my spine.

In the end, I had taken his advice and packed up my little treasures in the box I kept them in and tucked them away in the back of the closet under a pile of blankets. This amused Thrawn to no end who just watched me shaking his head in silent laughter. How could I explain to him that if I had found Jyrki’s secret hidden away in the Jedi Temple that I was sure someone, if they tried hard enough, could find mine. Call me paranoid but I wasn’t taking chances.

I had not realised that I had made a home in his flat on Coruscant. But when I thought about it, it seemed silly to keep dragging my stuff everywhere I went. The Executor was not my home, there was no need to try and make it into one. The only thing I hesitated over was the lightsaber and in the end I reasoned that I could tuck it in my satchel and carry it with me along with my ident cards and my datacard reader.

“Don’t spend all night in here sorting out the past, tekari; I just opened a rather nice bottle of wine.” He had said, cupping my face to kiss me. His smile had told me all I had needed to know and he caught the blush that coloured my cheeks. “I want to spend the last evening we’ll have together for a while … together.”

The rest of the evening and night had been filled with enough pleasurable memories to last a life time. Chiss, he had once said, have amazing stamina, and this was true but I had been well trained in the Bunduki martial arts and so did I. We teased and played each other in way I suspect would make his people squirm. In between the passion were pockets of subtle and gentle affection, words and stories, memory and thought. I knew as I lay in the safe circle of his arms that as he had been the first man to truly love me, to bed me, he would also be the last.

I hadn’t lied before when I had told him, there was no other. If I had known what was to come, know how things were going to change I would have told him truly how I felt, that which I kept so close to my heart, words we never ever spoke for what was between us. As it was, I was certain he knew anyway, how could he not, but I would wish I had told him. Our passion for one another could have rivalled the fire from the twin suns of Tatooine but some how passion is never enough when everything else around you is broken.

With our goodbyes said quietly and in private, once again I left Coruscant on board a shuttle headed for the Outer Rim Territories to the Endor system. I sat as a passenger this time and was oddly grateful for it.

The journey was long and quiet; the shuttle was mostly empty save for a couple of Imperial Intel officers who ignored me completely. I was glad of the large selection of electronic books Thrawn had given me before I left but for much of the journey I could not actually concentrate on reading, instead I spent the time either staring out into the hyperspace lane, absently playing with the necklace I always wore, the small round ma’arilite stone with the hidden star in it, or sitting on my own in the tiny galley drinking tea.

So much had happened in what seemed to be such a short time that I had barely had time to put it all together. Xizor was dead, Zaarin was dead, two men who had caused so much trouble for such a long time suddenly gone. I wasn’t unhappy about their deaths but it all seemed so surreal.

Thrawn had spoken sparingly about the details in the drawn out battles Zaarin had caused. I knew better than to push him. He was angry with himself for losing an ISD, for losing so many men and women and decent pilots. He was also angry with himself for not seeing everything play out the way he usually could. I had to remind him that it was he who had told me often enough of Zaarin’s intelligence and tactical genius. That in spite of Zaarin’s intelligence Thrawn had still managed to out-think him on more than one occasion. It had not helped to ease his mind.

Like Xizor, Zaarin had had an axe to grind and his hatred of the Emperor as well as Thrawn had burned deeply inside of him driving him to do what he did. I didn’t understand why he had loathed the Emperor so much. I knew why I hated Palpatine but Zaarin had no obvious reason to and the only thing I could put it all down to was Zaarin’s lust for power. In the end it was his own greed that did him in, that and the fact that Thrawn knew something he did not. My uncle had once told me that in the end everything always came down to details. When I had repeated this to Thrawn he had just laughed bitterly. I toyed with the pendant around my throat and sighed. In the end I closed my eyes and dozed fitfully until we landed on board the Executor.

The Wrong Side of Right 6

Despite the fact that I had known Zaarin was up to something when news of the Emperor’s abduction and the attempted coup by the Grand Admiral hit I was still shocked into a dull sort of numbness.

En route to Coruscant, the Emperor’s shuttle had been intercepted and the Emperor had been kidnapped. Lord Vader had moved swiftly the moment the news of this reached him. It was lucky that he was already off world at the time and could deal with directly. I was just grateful that I had not been hauled off world with him. By the time news of the attempted coup reached the public’s ears Coruscant was already locked down, a curfew had already been imposed and extra security had been set in place to avoid any problems that might arise from people who might take advantage of the situation. It was a mess and the News Nets were in a frantic panic trying to get any information at all. My contact with Lord Vader since all hell had broken loose was limited. He would not be back on planet until the mess was sorted out, he said and that I should cancel all meetings and appointments until other wise notified. When I pressed him for details he had simply replied.

“That moron Zaarin thinks he can rule the galaxy! He has no idea what the Emperor is capable of and he’s not the first idiot to kidnap Palpatine either. I’ll be back when this is over in the mean time I expect you to deal with your work and continue the studies I have set for you!”

I simply nodded. He had been trying to teach me more control over my force powers and neither of us were having a lot of success over this. At wit’s end, he had requested that Master Kjestyll teach me more about the art of control through meditation as he seemed to have better luck with me on this subject than Lord Vader had. I did not think that it was a matter of control but rather more about master Kjestyll’s ability to instil calm in me not anger or fear as was usually the case with Lord Vader. No matter what the reasons, my lessons with Master Kjestyll had gone from being combat related to control related and had done nothing to ease my sense of frustration. I was not a very good student in the art of being patient and calm.

It was a dark time for everyone working at the palace. Security was on high alert and anyone not wearing their identity badges was in for a nasty shock. I was glad to work in the quiet part of the palace and I wasn’t the only one. More often than not Shiv and sometimes Ynyth would come and join me, to hang out under the guise of being on official business. We mostly sat watching the HoloNet news, amazed at the level of disinformation that was given out on the public broad-wave, comparing our own news to that from the HoloNet.

There was nothing we could do except watch the story unfold, taking bits and pieces of news from every source we could. Luckily for us, as palace workers with good clearance and a lot of friends with even better clearance the story unravelled itself pretty swiftly once the information began to flow.

The kidnapping attempt of the Emperor had not been as successful as first believed. Someone named Arden Lyn had actually been the one to capture the Emperor’s shuttle and was in the process of bringing it to Zaarin’s Flagship the Glory. I knew when Lord Vader had engaged in battle because Jorae had sent me a quick priority message telling me. In the all too frustratingly infrequent updates that followed I learned that, despite the fight which had ensued, Zaarin and most of his fleet had escaped.

Shiv and I had sat in my office glued to the in-house reports, cups of tea growing cold in our hands as we watched and waited for more news. As much as I feared the Emperor, I could not imagine a galaxy without him and along with many others whispered quiet prayers for his safe return. There was a silent sigh of relief when the official News cast finally announced that the coup had failed, that Lord Vader had recovered the Emperor’s shuttle with the Emperor still on board and that he was safe and well. When the Emperor returned to Coruscant it was a quiet affair. There was no parade and no large celebratory festivities.

I knew that all was more or less back to normal when Lord Vader summoned me to meet him in the office in his home in the middle of the night. The driver who came to pick me up was quiet and terse. I sat in the back of the speeder, wrapped in a heavy shawl. It was late, I had been asleep and I was not happy about being hauled out of bed.

The sentry on duty merely nodded to me as I passed through the great doors. I was expected. “He’s waiting for you in the small library.” He said.

I merely nodded and drew a deep breath. The small library was probably, next to my office, the most inviting room that I had seen in his home. It was situated on one of the upper floors and had a stunning view over the city. Despite the fact that he had filled the library with enough reading material to last me a life time, it was a room he rarely used and a room I was not often permitted to enter without his express permission. I knocked on the door and it opened on its own.

“Come in girl.” His voice seemed too loud in the quiet of the night.

I did as he had asked and shut the door behind me. He was standing with his back to the door, staring out over the night skyline of the city.

“Is his Excellency alright?” I asked quietly, unable to gauge his mood.

There was no sound except the rhythmic in- out of the mechanical breathing and I did not know what to do, if I should approach or stay put.

“Yes, he was never in any real danger.” Lord Vader replied.

I nodded. “What can I do for you, my lord?” I asked. It was late, I was tired and I wanted him to get to the point so that I could go back home to bed.

“Thrawn has gone after Zaarin and his fleet.” He said simply.

I drew a deep breath and let it go slowly. This was not news I wanted to hear though it was not really a surprise either. I just stared at his back wondering why had he called me all the way out to his barren home to tell me this news that he could have given me at any time, could have given me in the morning so why here? Why now?

“Well, I am certain that if anyone can catch Zaarin it will be Thrawn, my lord.” I said carefully.

“Your faith in your lover is commendable.” Lord Vader said more to himself than to me. His words lacked their usual bite but they annoyed me anyway.

“Why am I here?” I asked crossly. I was irritated. I was tired. I was cold.

He turned around to regard me carefully. “I thought you would want to know what is happening before it gets blown out of proportion by the News Net.” There was truth in the words he spoke but also a lie behind them.

“Thank you my lord.” I said, puzzled by his demeanour. I couldn’t read him tonight although I tried.

“Master Kjestyll has informed me that you are finding your currents studies with him difficult.” He replied, utterly changing the subject.

“You’ve been speaking with him recently?” I was surprised.

“He keeps me informed of your progress, or lack thereof.” He said vaguely, gesturing for me to sit on the floor. I was grateful this room was carpeted. I sat down, cross legged; my hands folded one into the other in my lap and waited.

“Why did you ask the Emperor about learning more control over your talents?” He asked.

Ah, I thought, now we get to the point. He was angry that I had talked to the Emperor about my training, about wanting more than I was getting yet Lord Vader did not seem angry to me, he seemed resigned.

I sighed as I answered him. “I don’t know. He asked a question and I answered it but it’s the truth.” I said. “I have this power but I don’t understand it. I feel as though I am missing something. I’ve read about the Jedi being able to do amazing things, how they could run faster, jump higher. I have even heard it said that they could even meditate so deeply that they could put themselves into trances which could help them heal. I didn’t think it would be prudent to talk about learning Jedi abilities with the Emperor so all I told him was I thought I needed to learn more control, which is also the truth. When it comes to the Force I feel as though I am just running around in circles and I have no idea what I am doing.”

“That would be because you don’t know what you are doing.” He shot back. I just glared at him.

The silence between us was long and hard I wasn’t certain if he was going to get angry and stalk off or turn violent, he did neither.

“Why control?” he asked staring out of the window once again.

I shrugged. “I didn’t really know what else to say. He scares me when he talks to me about what I want because it always comes with a price.” I said. It was the first time I had ever said that out loud to Lord Vader even though I was certain he already knew this.

“Of course it does. The Emperor always has a motive.” He retorted, “But that still does not answer my question.”

I sighed. “I feel I need it. Maybe if I fight Jyrki again it would help me beat him, we are so evenly matched and he knows me too well.” I said. It wasn’t exactly the truth and I wondered if for a moment he had figured that out. Lord Vader was many things but he was not stupid and after nearly four years of working with me he knew me too well.

“He knows the girl you once were, not who you have become. I have told you before you give him too much power.”

“Yes, you have but that still doesn’t change the fact I need to learn control or that it might be useful to know how to do more than just move coffee cups across a table.”

“These abilities require years and years of training. You are too old for this now.” He replied casually.

“Then why teach me at all?” I countered, my anger surfacing. I was too tired and cranky to care about whether or not I was being rude.

“I have been asking myself that question for several years now,” Came his terse reply. “But the Emperor’s will is not to be questioned.”

I sighed. “My lord, why did you call me here in the middle of the night?”

“You knew what Zaarin was planning didn’t you.” It was not a question. He did not bother to answer mine.

“I had an idea he wanted to take over the government but nothing concrete.” I told him. “The night he attacked me, he let his ambitions slip, but I didn’t know that he had planned to kidnap the Emperor. If I had I would have told someone,” I said and then I looked up at him, “I would have told you.”

He stood still and stared out of the window. “Admiral Thrawn mentioned that he thought Zaarin might try something to harm the Emperor. When I spoke of this to my Master he had simply smiled. He said everything was going according to his plan.”

I swear that in that single moment I knew a hatred of the Emperor like I had never known before. “Did he mean for this to happen? Did he know what Zaarin had planned?” I asked. “Did the Emperor plan this all along?”

Lord Vader shook his head slightly. “I have no idea but it would not be the first time he has put
such a plan in motion to serve his own needs. Zaarin was becoming a problem but to remove him would have been … difficult.” He paused for a second. “Demetrius Zaarin has powerful friends, enough of them who could make things annoyingly difficult for my Master.”

“So the Emperor set this up. He knew?” I pushed. I could not keep the bitterness or anger out of my voice.

“I believe he put certain events in motion.” Lord Vader agreed.

Suddenly I understood. A piece of puzzle fell into place. I felt my mouth go dry. “The Emperor made Thrawn a Grand Admiral but he didn’t tell anyone because he has no idea who will come out of this alive does?” I said through clenched teeth.

“No.” Lord Vader replied. The word sounded terrible to my ears. “The Emperor can see many things, predict many things but not everything and both Zaarin and Thrawn are evenly matched.”

I hissed and looked up at Darth Vader who had turned to look back at me. “I hate him.” I said very softly.

Lord Vader nodded. “I know.” Was all he replied. There was so much bitter emotion laced in those two words that I didn’t know what else to say. He knew better than anyone what games the Emperor played. Perhaps more so than anyone else in the entire galaxy, he had reason to loath Palpatine. I just brought my knees to my chest and hugged them, my chin resting on them while I looked up at Lord Vader.

“So now what?” I asked. “We just wait until someone wins?” I was furious.

“There is nothing else you can do.” He said simply. “Except your work, your training.” He added with a growl.

“If Thrawn dies….” I began.

“If Thrawn dies you will know heartache and sorrow which the Emperor will use.” Lord Vader said simply, cutting me off. “You have a strong, stubborn will which amuses my master but make no mistake you will be broken and then you will be his obedient and compliant servant.” There was a sorrow deep in his voice which he could not hide but I wasn’t sure the reason for it. “And what is more, you will be powerless to stop it from happening.”

“Why does he do these things?” I asked suddenly.

Lord Vader simply shook his head. “Because he can.” I was certain he had been asking himself this same question for as long as he could remember. “He manipulates people into doing his will all the while thinking they are doing it all on their own.”

“He did the same thing to you!” I blurted out suddenly, anger ruling over common sense.

“Of course. He wanted an apprentice who was powerful in the force so that he would have the strength to overthrow the government.”

“He did more than that to you; he twisted everything you loved into something he could use. How can you still serve him after what he did?”

The air rippled slightly. “What do you mean?”

“He toyed with you, lied to you!” I snapped. “He used how you felt for Padmé and he twisted it all around into something terrible and ugly!”

For a moment I was certain he would lash out and strike me. Usually any mention of his long dead wife brought about a sudden and violent anger. This time he held himself in check. “He did not kill her, I did.” He said bitterly.

I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”

That caught his attention. “Explain yourself!”

I told him about what I had seen at the compound of Wayland, what his lightsaber had shown me, the terrible fight with Obi Wan, his own anger at Padmé. As I spoke I could feel the room charge with his terrible sorrow and self loathing but before he could lash out I said. “But she wasn’t dead when Obi Wan left that planet.”

Vader whirled around so suddenly I flinched back from him in reflex. “My master told me she was dead, he told me I had killed her!”

I drew a deep breath. “That maybe part of the truth but it wasn’t your force choke that killed her. She gave birth to your son afterwards, so how could she have been dead on that terrible planet?”

The galaxy seemed to hold its breath. He had never thought on this before, he had been so utterly convinced he had killed his wife that he had never questioned it. What he had thought in that moment I could never have said. He had a son and Padmé had been alive to deliver that child, she had to have been. I had seen in the lightsaber’s memories, because Obi Wan had held it in his hand while he boarded her ship to leave Mustapha, that when he had taken off she was still living. He must have put the weapon away after that because this was the only secrets of this nature it had revealed to me and I had kept them hidden, not daring to tell to Emperor what I knew of his lies.

There was a long silence and I pulled my shawl closer around my shoulders. The library was cold and not well lit, the one light that was on was mainly for my benefit. I wondered if I should get up, go home. I had no idea what it was I was actually doing here. When Lord Vader summoned me I did not refuse but usually he had work for me to do, especially when it was this late at night. This odd conversation was unusual and unnerving. He turned his back on me once again and stared out of the window. The air was heavy between us.

I wondered, then, if he also got tired of Palpatine’s manipulations and found some small solace in my company. As far as I know I was the only person in his life who did not judge him or try to play him and while I feared his anger and his temper I was not afraid of him the way most everyone else in the galaxy was. I would never ask him about these things, so I doubted I would ever know but in all the time I had known Lord Vader, I had never felt closer to him that at this moment. It was a peculiar sensation considering who he was, given all that he had done but it was not discomforting. So, I just sat and looked up at him.

“My lord?” I asked in a voice that sounded very small to my ears.

He stayed statue still and I wondered at that moment if he would kill me for the sheer audacity of speaking my mind. He hated to be reminded of the past but it was a false past, created memories built upon lies from a man who wanted to own him and manipulate him like a puppet. I tried to get a sense of his thoughts through the force but he shut me out so hard it hurt. Still there was a bond between us, something that had been created from almost the first moment I had begun working for him and that was hard to break away from. I could sense on the edge of things his terrible burning anger and hate but now there was something else, something I could not define. It felt as if some of the weight he had been carrying around since the moment he had turned to the dark side shifted and I felt his rage recede.

I realised while sitting on the floor of his awful castle that I had given him some tiny measure of reprieve as well as something new to think about. I have said it before, he was not a stupid man but sometimes he was an awfully linear thinker and he had been so focused recently on his son he had forgotten the woman who had given birth to the boy. For a long time we stayed like that, he staring out of the window lost in thought and I seated on the floor looking up at him.

It was he who eventually broke the dreadful stillness. “You mentioned the Jedi skills, deep meditation. This is what you really wish to learn is it not.” It was not a question. He knew me enough to pick through my words and find the truth of things. The tie between us was strong, I didn’t understand it but I could not fight it either. Neither, it seemed, could he.

I nodded when he turned to look at me. “Yes, I think it is important.”

Surprisingly enough to me he did not argue with me or offer up and sarcasm. “Very well, I will tell you what I know, but you will not learn this technique in one night, it takes years to perfect.”

“Thank you.” I said relieved without knowing why.

“Master Kjestyll has taught you to center, to meditate?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Then do so and listen to what I have to tell you.”

“Yes, my lord.” I said. “But before we start can I ask you a question?”

“If you must.”

“Why am I really here?”

He looked at me for a moment. “Because I wished it.” He said simply. It was the truth, although not the entire explanation. I doubted I would ever really know the whole of it but the answer satisfied me enough to leave it alone.

“Now, are you ready to learn or do you wish to return home and wait for news of Thrawn’s fate on your own?”

I had no desire to return to the flat I shared with Thrawn and wait alone, awake all night to hear if he lived or died trying hunt down the man the Emperor had deliberately set up. I sighed and nodded and with that gave myself over to the meditation techniques that I had been taught, listening to Vader’s voice as he began to instruct me on a long forgotten ancient art. I wasn’t sure why I felt a driving need to delve deeper into these Jedi techniques but something in the back of my mind told me it was important. So far that nagging voice had not steered me wrong so I wasn’t about to stop listening to it now. I drew a deep breath and began to find my center. It wasn’t as difficult as one might think, given the current circumstances.